We’d been together 2 years. But, six months into our relationship we moved in together and then lockdown hit. That undoubtedly intensified things, including how well we knew each other! We joke that those pandemic years were like dog years for relationships. We were also both in our late thirties, knew what we wanted from a relationship (my partner had been married previously), and I didn’t have time to piss about.
Saying that I did know he was the one I wanted spend the rest of my life with, six months in. No way I would’ve moved in with him otherwise because my single and dating life was too much fun! It was a quiet certainty. A little scary and I did ‘stress test’ my feelings a lot in the early days.
We talked about babies for about 6 months before we made a decision. We had a pot filled with questions that I found on the internet, everything from childcare to religion to parenting styles and finances. Once a week we’d pick a random question out the pot, sit down and have a long, frank conversation about how we felt about that topic in relation to raising kids together. We argued and then found compromises. found out a lot about each other, and then made a decision to go for it. Those chats helped because we could refer back to them so i recommend it.
I knew regardless of us that he would be a good father. I was right. He’s fantastic. And he was incredible through a horrific year of pregnancy losses, and losses more recently. Our almost 2-year old adores him, and I’m pregnant with our second. Been together 5 years in August.
Good luck, OP. But don’t rush. You have the gift of time so use it to enjoy and get to know each other. If I could change one thing about my relationship, it’s how old I was when we met. I would’ve liked longer just us, because babies require so much of your time and energy!