Navigating pregnancy after loss thread 5!

[barneymcgroo]

Probably time for a new thread - forgive me if I forget anyone...

@Annny27 @arianasky @B1993 @Bridgey8 @calimc83 @chasingtherainbow1 @Elspethelf @flowergarden16 @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Mrs173 @Prayingformyrainbow93 @Skl2021 @Srx1 @sunnyd67

@Sassy144 Oooh! I'd say that's sounding pretty labour-y!

Hope it all goes well, and hope you're cuddling a little baby very soon!

Hi all, @Sassy144 best of luck. That sounds like how my ambition started with my daughter so fingers crossed you’re on the way.

I work in healthcare, not front line, more of a regulatory role and I know that improving maternity services is a huge priority for the government and healthcare professionals because of the rise in baby and mother deaths and serious injuries during labour. So I’m not surprised about the push for induction at 41 weeks.

Currently 23 weeks here and feeling ok. Lots of movements going on which is nice and reassuring. I feel massive already but this is my third pregnancy so I guess that’s to be expected.

*labour started, not ambition!

@Shefliesonherownwings Glad you're going well - assume you've had your 20wk scan? Do you know what you're having?

I felt huge early on too - also my third - but measured very small (I'm tall, so possibly that). Scans were all fine, baby born 25th percentile, and now 14weeks old and not shifting off that line.

@Sassy144 any news? 😇

Hoping no reply is due to too busy cuddling a tiny baby ☺️

Hey 👋 how's everyone doing? Hope all is well with your little ones. I'm coming up to 33 weeks now...c section booked in so starting to feel real ..but the anxiety is coming back! Is this normal?? I'm still struggling to see a positive outcome as well. Praying it's not some sort of premonition..MC has well and truly robbed me of a happy pregnancy 🙈..xx

@calimc83 wow 33 weeks! That has flown! Not much longer for you now! Have u got everything ready? I think the anxiety is normal after what we have been through. I always had a niggly thought in the back of my mind even when I was getting induced I was convinced something was going to happen. It really does Rob u from having a good experience 😔 just try and take it day by day and think u have got this far! U will soon be holding that little baby 🥰 xx

Hi ladies,
I just wondered to all those ladies who have given birth after loss how you were during the first few weeks? I had our daughter last week after many losses and am struggling with a mixture of complete joy/love/contentment etc and then sudden loss and grief. Aware some of this will be baby blues!! Just feel such overwhelming extremes of emotions xxx

@calimc83 Not long to wait - and having a section date makes it very real!
So hard to be positive all the way through. I think it's perfectly normal to feel anxious. I worried throughout, thought I'd be better when the baby arrived. And I was, but still worry something's going to happen to her.

@Dueinjan23 Again, perfectly normal, and could definitely be the baby blues. If you're really worried, worth chatting to your Hv?

@Dueinjan23 i really struggled when DS was born after the loss of DD. I was terrified something would happen to him, especially when he was sleeping. I couldn’t relax. After a couple of weeks I spoke to my HV who was really helpful and I ended up having some CBT as I was diagnosed with PNA.

I think it’s perfectly normal to worry even when you haven’t experienced loss but that experience does add another layer of emotion. I would certainly advocate speaking to your gp or HV if you’re struggling. Talking about it and getting help If needed is so important.

@barneymcgroo @Skl2021 ahh so lovely to hear from you both! 😍..I feel like I've been pregnant forever! It's flown but also dragged as well?! I have absolutely nothing...we've hardly even discussed names! Stil doesn't seem real..tbf we have loads of stuff in the loft so don't need too much really..argh can't believe the anxiety died t go after 🙈..but I can remember all the worrying after the last 2! I'm supposed to be booked in for my covid booster tomorrow and I still can't decide whether to go or not...giving me such anxiety! Is it the right thing to do? X

@calimc83 I was in denial right up until I got told I was getting induced then I finally went and bought everything 😅 kept putting it off right until the end! I struggled with names aswell we didn't really speak about it alot and then when he was here I couldn't decide 🫣 I was hoping it would just come to me when he was born! But it didn't x

Thank you @barneymcgroo and @Shefliesonherownwings the hv is due on Monday so will have a chat with her then. It seems to have settled a bit now that baby blues have passed, thankfully but I do know I’m not 100% so will mention it.

@calimc83 we decided on a name during early labour as we were too scared to discuss during pregnancy. We suddenly panicked and felt we should discuss 😂

With DS2 I had a list titled 'baby names' on my phone. It was (and still is) completely empty. 😂

With this one, I had a dream that I had a girl called the name we've used, so told DH that's what I'd like. She's got two middle names - one to honour my cousin who died years ago, one to honour DH's beloved Grandmother.

Almost 19w and still anxious 😔 I know the anxiety won't go away until I'm safely holding the baby in my arms.. it's crazy how it's all so easy for some people!

@Happinessandrainbows Are you getting any movements yet? I found it more reassuring when I could feel her. (And then I'd have times when I couldn't, and then get super anxious again, but let's not dwell on that...)

@barneymcgroo
My previous two pregnancies didn't get past the first trimester so with this one being the first to get to this stage, not sure if I can recognise movements. Saying that, I did feel some flutters and especially today! I have an anterior placenta though so wouldn't necessarily be expecting to feel movements at this stage and it could've been gas 🤔
Thank you for replying ❤️

@Happinessandrainbows I had an anterior placenta with this one too. Having had two previous posterior placentas, and feeling movements very early, it really worried me that I couldn't feel anything. But around 24 weeks I think it suddenly got a lot busier in there!

Not long til your 20 week scan? Do you know what you're having? Will you find out? So hard to focus on the positives. And now my little girl is sitting on my knee, trying to eat my hair. Should probably feed her... (I have JUST fed her, not neglecting her!)

@barneymcgroo haha! 😍
My scan is in 4 days when I'll be just over 19w. Both anxious and excited but more excited as it will be a great milestone!
We don't know what we're having and really not sure if we will find out or not! Decided to wait and see how we feel on the day of the scan but I think it would be nice to have a surprise ☺️x

Hope it goes well - it's all so nerve-wracking, isn't it?! I had a really lovely sonographer for one of my later scans who'd also done the scan after one of my miscarriages. She'd been so kind, and made what was an awful day into something so much more bearable. I told her I remembered how kind she'd been, then burst into tears - think she gets that a lot...

Sorry guys I definitely typed out an update last week and must not have sent it!

(Trigger warning, birth trauma)

Baby arrived 21 January, the delivery was traumatic, the induction made things go from 0-100 real quick and a long hard labour ended in forceps and then baby's shoulder getting stuck with the emergency team rushing in. Waiting for him to cry was the longest moment of my life. I then had to be taken to theatre for third degree tears, then I was kept in for infection. I also have severe anaemia from blood loss..!

So all in all not the birth I imagined! But baby boy (Ellis) is perfect and we are now home and I'm feeling much better (albeit sleep deprived!)

Oh @Sassy144, what an ordeal! Congratulations to you all - I'm sure Ellis was worth waiting for. Enjoy the cuddles 🥰

@Sassy144 Congratulations on baby Ellis! 🎉🎉