Navigating pregnancy after loss thread 5!

[barneymcgroo]

Probably time for a new thread - forgive me if I forget anyone...

@Annny27 @arianasky @B1993 @Bridgey8 @calimc83 @chasingtherainbow1 @Elspethelf @flowergarden16 @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Mrs173 @Prayingformyrainbow93 @Skl2021 @Srx1 @sunnyd67

@TheBirdintheCave, I’m sorry again 💔It’s a lot to process, especially since everything is still so raw, and it’s completely a personal choice as to whether it’s best to try again or not. If you do, I wish you so much success and really hope 2023 will bring you a rainbow 🌈

@B1993

I no sounds bad but this not what I wanted we lost 3 babies last we finally got a little boy 11 weeks ago heads all over the place right now! We already have 6 kids
Not been on antibiotics or any thing but gotta admit I missed a day and took the next day we didn't even have sex for the 1st 5 weeks 🤦🏽‍♀️

@mrshodgy21, it sounds like really bad luck! And it doesn’t sound bad to me - if it’s not the right time or circumstances that’s ok and you have lots of options. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I am 34 and turning 35 in February. We've been trying for over a year for our second. I had two miscarriages like yourself. All we can do is keep trying and hoping. You've been through this before you can do it again. I hope you are being looked after, it's such a difficult road x

@mrshodgy21 does sound like a new pregnancy then. Definitely take some time and let it sink in before you decide what to do. ❤️ X

Fortunately my mum and dad are staying so it's been nice to have lots of hugs from someone other than my husband.

I so hope I get my baby next year :(

@B1993 We'll definitely keep going, I'd never get over it if I just gave up now :) It just might cos us £6k in the interest of time 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

@TheBirdintheCave, sorry, I think I misread your last post, which is why I said that! It's such a hard thing to go through once, let alone twice or more. I always admire how ladies have so much determination and resilience in these situations 💜 Hopefully 2023 is happy year for you and your growing family 🥰

@B1993 That's ok :) I really hope I get my baby in 2023. I can't take much more of this.

@TheBirdintheCave your so strong ❤️ you have got this! I really hope 2023 is your year 🤞xx

@Skl2021 Thanks :) I'm not at all though 😂 I am the most negative person I know.

@TheBirdintheCave sending you so much love ❤️ I started 2022 with a miscarriage which was a miserable start to the year. I'm starting 2023 39 weeks pregnant and feeling so grateful, but will never forget what could have been. I really hope this year you will get your baby 🌈

@Sassy144 any signs of this baby 💕 x

@Skl2021 I've been having cramping on and off, sometimes even waking me in the night, but nothing other than that - would really like baby to come soon now! 😩

@Sassy144 it's horrible towards the end isn't it 🤦 so uncomfortable just want it over with! Hopefully not much longer for you! When's your next appointment? Have u had a sweep or anything yet? X

@Sassy144 Thanks :) Good luck with the upcoming birth! Fingers crossed I get lucky too.

@TheBirdintheCave I'm so sorry to hear your news - what a crappy start to the year. Here's hoping things improve for you.

@Sassy144 Not long then! Hope everything goes smoothly.

@Skl2021 very uncomfortable now! Trying to enjoy the last moments of pregnancy and alone time but it's hard! My next midwife appointment is in a week when I'll be 40+2 and I'll be offered a sweep if I want one, but I'm not sure whether I do! As much as I want baby here, I've heard they don't work unless things are already somewhat underway, so I don't know if the discomfort/pain is worth it at just 2 days past due date? I don't know, maybe I'll be more desperate by then 😅

@Sassy144 yes I don't think they work but I have had them everytime anyway 🤣🤣 but they didn't do anything! They don't hurt as such just uncomfortable. But it's a good way to prepare you for birth 🤣 it gets alot worse than a sweep 🤦🙊 hopefully things just go naturally for you 🤞 x

@Skl2021 very true! If baby isn't here by next week I think I'll be glad to try anything to be honest 🤣

I had my sweep today, it was actually fine but my cervix is still quite far back and only 1cm dilated so not looking likely that anything will happen any time soon.. I have another on Friday.

They're really pushing induction at 41 weeks which is apparently new policy, did anyone else have this? I plan to say no but do feel quite pressured.

@Sassy144 glad it went ok! I haven't heard of that before. Is there any reason why? If everything is ok I don't see why there pushing you. If your not comfortable with it then say no. Hopefully your body goes into labour before 🤞🤞 x

@Sassy144 glad your sweep wasn't too bad.

Re induction - if you don't want to, you don't have to. I understand it's an enormously useful tool in certain circumstances, but is definitely pushed. I was worried I'd be pushed to have one for DS2 (was VBAC) but he came day before due date. Here's my list of questions for midwife/docs for you - I have it saved on my phone, prob don't need it any more but it's useful for other people too... I always forget the questions I intend to ask, and am not good at advocating for myself.

Why do you feel I need to be induced?
Am I or my baby in imminent danger?
Specific benefits of induction in my case?
And the risks?
What percentage of women in this hospital who are induced go on to have caesarean or instrumental delivery?
What kind of monitoring? And how can you adapt it so I can move around?
Choices of induction?
Alternatives?
Can I have a think about it for a couple of days?

@Skl2021 she said it's new policy/guidelines which she said were national (but I haven't heard from anyone else), to do with risks of still birth increasing, and that basically what used to be offered at 42 weeks is now 41.

@barneymcgroo thank you that's really helpful, especially as midwife appointments already feel rushed and it's easy to feel like you have to go along with what they say. I was quite clear I want to avoid induction unless there's a medical reason and I asked what the next course of action would be if I declined but she didn't really answer, and said to think on it ready to discuss on Friday. I'll definitely go back feeling more confident to advocate for myself, and armed with your questions! My husband is great too and on the same page as me so he will back me up if I get overwhelmed and freeze!

It's just frustrating I feel I shouldn't be stressed about this at only 2 days past due date!

@Sassy144 Below also a really good read from Dr Sarah Wickham:

www.aims.org.uk/journal/item/ten-things