Due March 2023 - thread 3

[TeddyBeans]

New thread for ladies due Feb/March 2023.

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@iratepirate oh no! I think it’s supposed to happen by 10 weeks as there are some blood tests to do. Can you call your GP/community midwife team?

@Ubbee I’ve chased it up and they’ve booked me in tonight for booking. I had the bloods taken for quad test at my scan as they were too late for the usual screening.
Hopefully after this evening I’ll have a better idea of what’s next.
Sounds like it was a bit of a misunderstanding like each one thought I was with the other team. 🙈

I didn't have any

I’m nearly 15 weeks and feel a bit paranoid this morning, I have a horrible cold and have been coughing all night, first trimester nausea seems to have gone the past few days and my little bump seems smaller this morning, I thought when I got to 12 weeks I would be relaxed but like another of you I now I feel like I’m just waiting for movement so I know it’s all okay :( x

@hol92 your illness won't affect baby so don't worry about that one, they'll get your antibodies though so you'll have a tough little cookie! It's definitely a hard wait for movements. Hopefully it won't be too long for you

Gtt just came back normal! Think that calls for fish and chips to celebrate 🍾 🤣

I dont have a 16 week appt despite first pregnancy and high risk. Can I book myself for the whooping cough vaccine with my GP?

@Choc2022 you should have a 16 week appointment, can you chase your midwife about it?

@Dreamingof3 glad to hear that!

I‘m trying not to be frustrated but have just had an email cancelling tonight’s booking apt. No reason, just “sorry, your appointment has been cancelled and someone will be in touch with a new appointment date soon.”

I know that I should be grateful that we get all this care at all, and I am. But I’m just mildly irritated that I’ve moved a lot of things around to accommodate short notice appointments so far and honestly, it’s a struggle.
Does anyone else get frustrated with things like this. I’d really like to get a midwife sorted out but they won’t schedule an apt until I’ve been booked (understandably) but this hold up has so far meant that I’ve not been able to do some of the screening tests I’d have otherwise had and I’m just feeling a bit “ugh” about it all.

@Choc2022 looks like I won’t be getting 16wk apt either.

When I've spoken to midwife they've told me call gp to book whooping cough/flu vaccine any time after 16 weeks. So hopefully at least you'll be able to get that sorted if they're not being very helpful

I don't think you normally have bloods at 16 weeks. I've got to as I've got to be checked for slapped cheek (parvovirus) as my son's caught it and I'm not immune!

@iratepirate that is annoying. I would be an irate pirate about it, too.

I'm not happy with the maternity care near me at all! Not only did I have to call every day for 2 weeks to try and get a 16 week midwife appointment...(the midwife today was lovely and listened to my opinions and tried to help) I found out that the reason I've been so poorly and sick is because I actually had E-Coli bacteria infection and was meant to have a really strong dose of antibiotics given to me by antenatal when they rang with my results but they never contacted me...but signed them off completed on their end!

Also, me and my partner have been talking about boundaries we have for when baby is born as this is our first! We are both on the same page with what we want but his family disagree and have really kicked off! Anyone have any advice on this?

@Katlouise24 what exactly about? Like when can family come to meet the baby?

My maternity care has also been a hit and miss. GP disagreeing with midwife on Aspirin, midwife and nurse being very flustered when taking bloods/blood pressure, which I don’t have an issue with myself, so their lack of professionalism gave me anxiety, GP disagreeing with Consultant about other medication, etc.
🥴 My GP who I’ve never met in person over the phone said I should try to lose weight in pregnancy due to my high BMI, and when I questioned dieting in pregnancy he suggested I cut out bread. He didn’t even know if I eat bread.
I have been quite baffled at many situations.

@havanamama the boundaries we have are no visitors the day we bring baby home as I think I'd like time to rest! And also we'd like people to ask before uploading photos of baby to social media as we're not sure who will be able to access those pictures and see baby! My mother in law hates both of these and has had a huge reaction to them and apparently I'm being unfair :(

@Katlouise24 wow! I’m sad you’re dealing with that.
I also would like some time to heal, rest, cuddle etc - probably more than 1 day. We have discussed between us but not with relatives.

photos - my family is not one to post on Facebook and everyone’s IG is private, but I expect people to ask if they may take a picture in the first place and then also if they may post it.

so sad that relatives just presume they are entitled to things like immediate visit when they should be less selfish and respect the new parents.

@havanamama my mother in law has been referring to baby girl as her baby and speaking to us on everything she's going to do when baby is born without taking into consideration that it's our baby so we wanted to set the boundaries early on to everyone so they have time to adjust and not get hopes up for when baby is here but she's just been so unreasonable and even gone as far as saying she'll cut contact with my partner (her only child) if she has to follow a list of rules! Hopefully it's just an initial reaction and she comes round! It's so rough :(

@Katlouise24 - Your MIL sounds a nightmare!
Stick with your boundaries and rules for your child. On day you come home, lock the doors, take phone off hook and enjoy your new little family.
Dont let anyone bully you at all and make sure your partner knows this too and doesnt give in.
If your MIL cuts contact- Oh well!
Putting boundaries in place now and sticking to them is definetly what you need to do, as it seems your MIL will really go against you anyway!

Im sorry you have to deal with that but good that you're having these conversations early on - gives everyone time to get used to it.

I too should probably have that convo - we're asian with a big family who are always in each others faces - I'd be surprised if they don't all turn up at the hospital.

The social media posting is good reminder - in laws post all sorts of pics on all group chats etc so will have to explain why I dont want them to.

In regards to boundaries and visits. Not for everyone but with my other 2 children I preferred to get the immediate family visits done quickly actually a day or two after birth. The reason this worked for me is because even if in pain everyone understands that you can just sit there and be catered for and can't stay too long because your not long home, you holding baby on your terms because they are a day or two old. Full of adrenaline from the birth and baby's arrival, tiredness hasn't set in yet. I wanted to show the baby off to our parents and siblings. Also nice to get gifts. Prior to midwife visits, health visitors and vaccinations for baby kicking in.

Benefits are that Visits done and dusted quickly and you can now take time as a family. Compared to later on I find after 2/3 weeks the tiredness has truly set in, more awareness of pain (my stitches hurt bit more at this stage and developed horrendous thrush) struggling with breast feeding/ pain, baby more alert and needing me. Felt horrible physically and emotionally People expect you to give them tea/ coffee.

Doesn't work for everyone but sometimes it is easier to do them quickly and get them out of the way. Always best to see how your birth goes before deciding how you will feel and what's right for you but yourself and DH need to be on the same page.

@Katlouise24 that’s so annoying. They should be listening to you.

I don't know how we'll feel yet but did mention to my mum that we might want to wait a few days before visitors. She didn't throw a fit but did immediately disagree and start telling me all of the benefits of visitors and how nice it is for family to come and see your baby. I know she'll be put out if we do decide on no visitors. I'm just going to wait and see I think

We said no visitors at hospital and no Facebook announcements before I had done my own announcement. Both of which didn't happen. ExMIL took it upon herself to ask my ex for updates on my progress and promptly posted it all on Facebook, including a birth announcement that happened sometime around me being stitched up.

They then all turned up at the hospital after my ex conveniently forgot that we agreed not to have anyone at hospital and told them the visiting hours. My family, on the other hand, respected my wishes and waited until we got home to see DS. Him undermining me was a theme in our relationship and was a factor in our eventual break up 🤷‍♀️