Due March 2023 - thread 3

[TeddyBeans]

New thread for ladies due Feb/March 2023.

PM me if you want a link to our private and hidden FB group!

We'll wing it like we have done with the others 🤣
I think it depends on the baby too. I cuddled both my girls to sleep until they were too big to hold, then we transitioned to sitting with them. They both now go to bed no issues and sleep well (mostly) so I don't have any issues with doing it that way.
I also think that sleep is luck. Babies aren't meant to sleep through the night, we're the ones that put that pressure on. I go into it with the mindset that I will just work my sleep around them and if they sleep through before 12 months then I'll consider myself lucky 🤣

Hello ladies!
13 weeks today and due date 17...very excited to join this group!!

Please add me:-)

I'm off to the library this weekend to pick up some more books to read about various ideas on these things! It's my first baby and I have no idea what to expect, but I'm such a planner that I think reading up on some different ideas will help us try to figure out what will work best for us....but then again am sure the baby will have it's own ideas haha!

My husband was responsible for any feeds happening before 4am, I was responsible from 4am. Then we switched responsibility again mid-day.

Aside from that, the main rule about sleep in our household is that the baby doesn't sleep in our bed. We've had a bunch of different arrangements, right now (and since she's been ~1.5? our toddler has a mattress on the floor because she is too big for a crib but rolls out off a bed. This arrangement means if we lay with her, it is relatively comfortable for us. We aren't opposed to sleep training but are pretty crap at it.

@Flowerfan35 i agree with this idea. To me knowledge is power 😆 I’m delaying reading about stuff just yet as I will forget it by March.

i have considered an A4 sheet of key points and useful tips for sleeping, feeding etc. I am a planner too!

@XjustagirlX - I'm ambivalent about waking a baby or not at night, but my understanding is that the theory behind waking them is that you choose the time that they feed at night (say, 11:30pm) instead of them choosing it (say, 3:30am). This works for some babies, not for others, and may change over time with the same baby. It is worth a try if they choose some awful time to wake up hungry and you find it unbearable.

@Babynum2 did you give the baby a bigger bottle before sleep? I’ve heard that’s how some people get their babies to sleep through the night

I typically wake up 2-3x a night anyways but not for more than a few minutes so not sure how much of an adjustment to expect

I’d agree with @Dreamingof3 its definitely partly down to the baby/luck as well…either you’ve got a good sleeper or you haven’t to be honest! By 3 months my son was only waking once in the night for a bottle but within my friendship circle where the majority had children that was unheard of and most were multiple wake ups throughout the first year!

you can also think you’ve got sleep mastered and then they change and suddenly they wake up again 😅 it’s fun and games!

@havanamama I get pregnancy insomnia so didn’t sleep much at all for 9 months but it was still quite a shock to the system with a newborn 😵‍💫

@Franklin321 the pregnancy insomnia is driving me nuts! Waking up at 3am and then not getting back to sleep, I'm like a zombie at work! If you find any solutions let me know! All that works currently is I get up and make a cup of decaf tea and read a book until I'm yawning and try to sleep again!

@Flowerfan35 no solutions sorry 😭 it’s come on this pregnancy as well so I will be awake from like 1am to sometimes 4/5am and then my toddler gets up at like 6 🙃 I’ve tried all sorts but nothing really worked, maybe because it’s hormone related 🤷‍♀️ Let me know if you find anything!

@Franklin321 that's so tough with the early start for the toddler as well 😒 I'm lucky that on days when it's bad I can WFH and not get up until 8.30 as I only have cats to sort breakfast for, stay strong and hopefully it will settle down for us both in the coming weeks as hormones settle.

I wake up every morning around 3:30 or 4am then struggle to get back to sleep. I use a guided sleep meditation on headspace which eventually works but it means I’m knackered every day

@XjustagirlX im not no expert but i listened to my mum when i had my first and she told me never wake a sleeping baby they will wake when they are hungry. Mine are fine so must of done something right😂

@havanamama yes i expressed and the last feed of the night DP would do that way i could see how much they was getting then they would wake for the odd feed on the boob once or twice in the night then by 6 weeks or so straight through. They are both very good sleepers still now especially my boy hes lazy he goes to bed 7.30 and i have to wake him in the mornings!

My advice would just be to not be too set on doing things a certain way...the baby will decide 😅
I had to wake my second for feeds as she was losing weight, but tbh I don't think it helped because she just wouldn't take as much milk!
And never feel like you've cracked it...because then the baby senses it and changes everything just to throw you off 🤣

@Dreamingof3 yes i used to say oh my Ralphie is a good boy so well behaved...oh how times have changed😂children suprise you

Cuddled, rocked and fed DD to sleep for months and months.
Now we sit with her, sing, stories, stroke her back/hand til she drifts off.
Enjoyed (safe) co-sleeping and was a saviour for us in early months as it meant we actually got some sleep. There's good info about how to co-sleep safely on lullaby trust website.
She is 27 month now and still sleeps in with me 2 out of seven nights a week I'd say and hubby goes to spare room.
Works for us. I've always just gone for the path of least resistance, make sleep as easy as possible for everyone in the house. And I DO NOT believe you can teach a baby bad habits load of nonsense IMO. They phase in and out of habits and so long as something works for you, baby and your family, keep doing it!!

Absolutely @LittleAcorn20 whatever gets everyone the most sleep!

We will wing it, sort of worked with the last 4.
Dd 1 was in Scbu for 13weeks (Born prem) so was sleeping from 12am- 6am when she came home. Express fed till 5months.
DS1- Incredibly lazy baby ,so much so I was worried as he would easily sleep 18-20hrs a day until 6 weeks and then he was still 12am- 7am. He was breast fed for 8weeks
Ds2 was my karma!!!
He woke every 2.5-3hrs for a feed (Breast fed till 6 weeks)
Didnt really sleep through fully untill maybe 12months old and was in our bed fron 5am-7.30am( sleeping )untill 2.5yrs
Dd2- same as above but breadt fed until 6months.
Ive added what Their feeding was like as it seems to make little difference really with any of them!
They all slept in Moses basket next to me until age 4months, then in to own room in their cot.Never co-slept.
The nights feed/waking was for me, one of tge worst bits of newborn stage- I need my sleep so much!
DP wants to help out more this time so think I will maybe breast feed for 6 weeks only again, this will help for my earlier return to work this time ( Im self employed)

@LittleAcorn20 does it not affect your relationship that you don’t sleep with your husband but with the child instead?

@havanamama not at all, no.
She only does it once or twice a week now, and she starts in her bed. If she wakes (usually around 1-2am) we put her straight in with me, he goes to spare room.
We all fall back to sleep immedietly that way ☺️ no one has to get out of bed for any length of time settling her in her room. As soon as she is next to me she goes instantly back to sleep. Works so well for us and we are still very happy as a couple! We know these baby/toddler years won't be forever and she will eventually grow out of it.
If you mean co-sleeping in the earlier days, because she was much smaller than now and less wriggly we all slept in the one bed.
Getting a decent night sleep each helps our relationship to be honest. Nothing worse than being tired and grumpy with one another! We both have work & parenting to juggle the next day sooo sleep wins.
It works for us personally, but i know it isn't everyone's cup of tea ☺️

@LittleAcorn20 sounds like a very understanding and loving relationship 🥰