Pregnant again with ex used to be under ss

[Happyface12]

so long story short we had a child and the dad was abusive towards me during pregnancy ss got involved and me and dad split up so the child was on a child protection plan .. case is now on a child in need and it’s nearly closing. Problem is we went through a period throughout this where we started seeing each other again silly I know and now I’ve ended up pregnant again I’m not very far gone so I could get an abortion but I just want to know what would happen if I did keep it

I’m sure I’ve read this exact post before. 😕

I'm pretty sure you know exactly what will happen.

If you were in a cp/cin. due to your partners violence I assume you made certain promises to protect your child by staying away from the father ?

Promises you broke.

Do not expect to be believed. Expect SS to be breathing down your neck at every move.

Ideally do not subject another child to this sort of environment.

Yet yourself on the freedom program. Learn your own self worth and please do not have sex with men who do not respect you.

Most importantly. Yet some decent contraception. Something long term like implant and always use a condom. Russian roulette with your fertility when your judgement is so poor is just not fair on any resulting children.

I wouldn't continue in your shoes.

In a world where multiple, reliable forms of contraception are available I never find it easy to understand posts like these. 😕

I was on the pill I literally missed maybe 1 or 2 also I haven’t had a period for like 6 months didn’t think I’d ovulate I feel like only choice is to abort really but I just know I’d regret it later on

We was co parenting that was the agreement with ss

If you want to continue get him out of your life immediately And tell ss it’s someone else’s and keep away from him

How old is your first child?
How long have you been separated from ex?
Does he know about the pregnancy?

I imagine SS will think you put your fanny before the welfare of your own child? Which is accurate.

Hopefully SS would be heavily involved to ensure both children's safety. If you name the father, you can see why they would want to know more about how well you had been safeguarding your first child.

He would get a dna test to prove it’s his so I couldn’t hide the fact it was his

Social services will re-evaluate the risk, taking into consideration the fact that you chose to resume your relationship with your abuser despite your child being at risk. They may consider your children are at increased risk and question your judgement and your ability to keep them safe.

It's highly likely they would increase their involvement and seek certain assurances from you.

@Happyface12 SS would be involved again as they will believe you never ended the relationship and was having the relationship behind their backs putting your DC at risk.

What you mean seek assurances

SS are going to be, quite rightly, all over this. How irresponsible.

Relocate and don’t tell him ?

I don't have any experience in this area, but I would assume SS would at least expect you to own your behaviour a little more. I think calling something "silly" is appropriate when you picked up royal gala apples instead of pink lady apples. Hooking up and getting pregnant with an abusive ex who caused SS involvement and a child protection plan...probably a fuckton more serious than "silly" at that point.

you e made a serious serious error of judgement here and the only way to even slightly sort this mess out if you want to continue with the pregnancy is to get away from him completely and never ever go back. You’ll need to prove you can safeguard 2 children

The best thing to do is be open and honest about it - he is the dad and you will need to face up to that. You need to end things for good - if your child was on a child protection plan that is because they were 'at risk of SIGNIFICANT harm' so the abuse must've been very serious. Your children deserve to be your priority and live in a home where they are protected and feel safe.

It’s hard to relocate I can’t exactly afford to I can’t afford private rent . My only option is to do a swap but I’ve not been in here a year till October and I’ve already spoke to the housing provider there’s nothing they can do till I can swap in October and I can’t apply on council because they said I’m already with a different housing association

Alternative is to not continue but in all
honesty I’d still say relocate and totally get away from him

Does he know you are pregnant?

Another thing if I just “pack up and go” the ss will question that because me and dad was meant to be co parents where he has her set days so dad will obviously contact the ss and tell them everything

I think the replies on this post are absolutely hideous. Stop victim blaming!! You all sound so judgemental and clearly have absolutely no idea about how coercive control affects survivors. Also, saying things like 'social services will be breathing down your neck' is beyond unhelpful and paints a picture of social workers as baby snatchers. It's just not true.