Why do boys get treated like a second place prize?

[willwewontwe]

I had a little boy last year, absolutely delighted with him, love him to bits etc but over the last year I’ve steadily noticed more and more this attitude by some people that girls are better than boys. I’ve even now noticed it in some baby clothes shops where you walk in and there’s aisles of girls clothes on display then a small section of dinosaur clothes in the corner for boys.

My friend was pregnant at the same time as me, I knew what I was having but she wasn’t finding out. At her baby shower my other friend said she hoped she was having a girl. I just felt a bit put out sat there pregnant with a little boy as if people thought girls were better 🤔 We have since been for lunch etc with the babies and multiple people walking past make a big song and dance over her little girl but didn’t acknowledge my little boy. I’m just sat there feeling awkward like yip, I’ve got a baby too 🙋🏼‍♀️ I’ve had people making jokes to me about future children saying ‘aw itl be another boy’ or I even had a guy jokingly say ‘when you have twin boys’. It’s like, what would be wrong with that?! 🤔 I feel for people with two or more boys who will no doubt have had to deal with these kinds of comments all the time. They’re not some sort of second place prize 🙄 Just saw a post on Facebook from someone with a little boy popping a pink balloon at her gender reveal saying she was ‘finally’ getting her princess, as if somehow she has just been passing the time with her little boy waiting on a girl arriving. I hate the whole thing, is it just me? 😩

I totally get this but I suppose in the past and in some parts of the world the attitude is the opposite to the point where female foetuses are aborted.
I have 2 boys and they are an absolute delight, any parent would be lucky to have 2 boys like mine imo!

It's hard - whenever I see a thread title about gender disappointment etc it's always boy without a shadow of a doubt.

I have one of each. If I could choose for my third, I'd go boy hands down.

People don't realise what they are missing. Boys are fucking brilliant.

Most people i know wanted a girl more than a boy - its a drastic change from 50 years ago!

Currently pregnant with my 3rd boy and no it isn't just you. I have had so many sympathetic looks when telling people I am having a boy, and people outright asking if I am disappointed and if I will 'try again'.
It took us 18 months to fall pregnant with this baby, we are so happy to be having him.
One of my best friends has 2 boys and a girl and she has said she was heartbroken her 2nd was a boy and she did a harmony test at 10 weeks on the 3rd to see if she was a girl and was so relieved she was.
I have to bite my tongue all the time as she mentions it it a lot when conversation turns to babies, how she can't believe she finally has her best friend. Eurgh.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz agreed! Mine is the most chilled little guy, never once been up during the night since he was tiny and just the easiest going little thing 😊

I get this too OP. Mum of two boys and found out what we were having both times. The amount of people who looked sad and asked if we would go for a third to try and have a girl was insane. I LOVE being a mum of boys. If we did go for a third I'd be crossing my fingers for another boy.

I've not really noticed this. I've got 2 of each and I think the only thing I've noticed along these lines is a family member who only knitted for my girls and not the boys because she liked making girly stuff in pink only.

I didn't know this was a thing. I have 2 DS and genuinely couldn't be happier. Don't want any more babies.

I totally agree about the shit clothing choices for boys, though.

There’s no doubt about it baby girls seem to be the favourite in our society at the moment - it’s been that way for quite a few years now.
You only have to read all the threads on here (there’s at least a couple every week) about the “disappointment” of being pregnant with a boy.

When I finally had, much longed-for and unlikely to happen, DD2, a couple of the hospital staff commented that it was a shame she wasn't a boy as now I'd have to have another baby

In my experience, whilst the thing about there being superficially more choice of clothing for girls (there isn't once the princess, unicorn, llama and flower designs have been discounted, see also cropped fit), the third party gender judgement seems to work both ways.

@Jane2658 totally know the feeling you mean! It’s the fact they are completely equal. I don’t know as I don’t have two girls but I really have never heard the same comments made about someone with two girls 🙄

I think it comes from the idea that boys will abandon you as soon as they get a wife but girls will be close to you always. There's no recognition that children are individuals and there's no predicting who will be close to their family in adulthood and who won't.
I used to get this when my 3 boys were little - when I was pg with my 4th baby everyone was questioning why I wanted another.As soon as they found out she was a girl their opinions totally changed, like it was suddenly understandable after all!
To this day no one believes me when I say that I fully expected to have a 4th son and that I was not trying for a daughter and would have been happy either way. All my kids are totally delightful!

@SE13Mummy this is interesting, it’s probably just generally outspoken twats causing offence to people with both then 😂

My mum's side of the family is funny about boys and I remember my cousin posting on Facebook that she was sad she was having a boy 🙄

I have a DS and yes I would love to have a girl if I had a second but it would not be the end of the world and I love my cuddly boy (who yes does wear pink shorts 😜)

I experienced this when I found out I was having my son. I did have some disappointment myself I will admit as I’d always imagined having a daughter first but I quickly got over it. I wouldn’t trade my son for anything, he is just perfection 😍

But yes, I was on a forum at the time and people did seem to enthuse more over the girl announcements than the boys.

For centuries little girls were look at with disappointment, killed or left unwanted by the vast majority of cultures around the world. I think being a little disappointed in having a boy today doesn’t really compare. It’s wonderful that girls are now revered and welcomed by many.

I never experienced this, I have DS (only DC) and have never had any comments - adverse or otherwise.

@ImAvingOops aww that’s lovely 😊

I don't understand that attitude at all. I'm the very proud mother of three wonderful sons and have never craved a daughter. As for comments about boys, over the years I've heard them all. It makes me feel very sad, as well as super protective towards my lovely boys - who are now all grown up and adore their old mum

I had this. In my NCT group I was the only one with a boy and the others used to go on all the time about how they were so glad they’d had girls. Why?!

I have one of each now and during my pregnancy with DC2 I was actually hoping for a boy because I adore DS so much and thought it would be lovely to have another just like him, and for him to have a brother. Obviously I adore DD as much as DS now she is here! Weirdly all of my NCT group have gone on to have second girls so DS is still the only boy, and this time round tie comments have all been about how great it is for girls to have a sister 😏

I think most people want what they know. So women want girls and men boys. I have one of each, both much bigger now and the other day DH was saying to me how pleased he was that he had a son.

No idea, my boy is fabulous. If I’d had another boy I’d have been delighted.

2 boys and 1 girl here. I adore all 3 and don't really understand the disappointment thing but there you go.
When pregnant with DS and then DS2 it was all 'oh you'll have your work cut out, boys are hard work etc.' Couldn't be further from the truth (it's DD that's let say... strong-willed! ).

I have both but did want to have girls as dh's side were all male.

Ds is amazing though

I've got the opposite problem.
DH family only interested if I have a boy.
Decided mines a girl so have just not been bothered at all. Another family member pregnant with a boy so it's all about him.
The thing is we haven't even found out what we are having but its just been decided and that's that apparently. If I do have a little girl it just makes me seeth at how uninterested in her before she's even born, and I feel more protective. If it is a boy I feel like telling them to do one when they want involvement.
Me and dh don't care and they are our child. Why do other people? Just don't understand it and it makes me sad. It really shouldn't matter.