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Original poster

17 weeks and I think I'm losing/lost the baby

503 replies

OopsImDoingItAgain · 20/03/2022 12:50

Had another thread about midwife not finding the heartbeat and how I'm having a scan tomorrow, but I'm having cramps today in my lower back and down my thighs as if I'm about to come on and really sharp pains in my right hand side. I'm convinced I've lost the baby and my body is starting to catch up. I have tried phoning my midwife I don't think she's working today as no answer, I'm too early to go to the ward. What can I do? Or do I have to just sit tight until tomorrow? Sad

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Original poster
OopsImDoingItAgain · 21/03/2022 00:29

@georgousbold

Hi OP,

I've lost babies at 8 weeks exactly, 14 weeks, 17 weeks and a day old baby that was born at 23 weeks.

The 14 weeks one looked exactly like the 17 weeks, just smaller. Fit completely in my hand whereas the 17 weeker was about half a size larger

They have no hair but they look like a tiny little baby and have features, just very similar looking (every baby around that age), as they have next to no fat at all at that stage

Their tiny hands and feet are perfect.

I'm sorry to be so detailed but I wanted to offer you some detail as it appears that's what you're looking for Thanks

I'm so sorry

Thank you. I feel at this gestation I just couldn't bare to not find out the sex, and not say goodbye. I don't want nearly half of a pregnancy to amount to no baby and no answers. I've been calling him a boy since day dot off a gut feeling and I would like to know if I was right. I'm worried they're going to say the baby passed many weeks ago and it's past that Sad

Dh with me for the night, my mum is looking after our toddler, but he keeps saying it's not over yet, but every doctors eyes has told me it is. I can feel it Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsImDoingItAgain · 21/03/2022 00:30

And my apologies for all of your heartbreak, I can't even imagine. This is killing me enough I don't think I could go through it again Sad

OP posts:
zeromango · 21/03/2022 00:32

OP your updates are beyond heartbreaking I'm so so sorry. I wish I knew what to say. Miscarriages are so cruel. It's not fair. Thanks I hope you'll be well looked after xx

sugarrosepetal · 21/03/2022 00:39
Flowers
BabyOnBoard90 · 21/03/2022 00:46

My condolences for this unfortunate experience.

georgousbold · 21/03/2022 00:46

@OopsImDoingItAgain If you had your 12 week scan, and baby was okay then, it'll be possible to find out your baby's sex

If they really did pass away around week 12 to 14 you can request that their sex is picked up via lab results. It can take many weeks I'm afraid Thanks

If baby was born at a gestation of around 16 weeks onwards then it'll be more obvious to you. I promise: and you will know. You could tell my daughter born at 17 weeks was a girl. I had placenta etc sent away for genetic testing (all clear) anyway that confirmed that, but you can tell

I'm so sorry again OP. If I read you really have got the worst news, I will link you in to some really fantastic pages that helped me and continue to do so. Try and get some sleep Star

Original poster
OopsImDoingItAgain · 21/03/2022 00:55

Thank you, im so sorry you've been through so much, but thank you for sharing that it that helps more than you know, my 12 week scan was just after 13 weeks and everything seemed perfect. Heartbreaking but atleast we should be able to find out so thank you. I've been so sure its a boy, we'd decided on a boys name and not a girls so in my mind if it is a boy atleast I can remember him with a name that already felt like his.
Thank you for all your advice. I am exhausted but they're coming to check my obs again at half 1 so I'm trying to stay awake until then so I can hopefully crash after. Doubt I'll get much sleep Sad

OP posts:
fridaRose · 21/03/2022 03:48

OP I'm in Aus and it's daytime, so I'm here listen... if you can't sleep.
I am thinking of you xx

betwixtlives · 21/03/2022 04:19

@OopsImDoingItAgain

Thank you, im so sorry you've been through so much, but thank you for sharing that it that helps more than you know, my 12 week scan was just after 13 weeks and everything seemed perfect. Heartbreaking but atleast we should be able to find out so thank you. I've been so sure its a boy, we'd decided on a boys name and not a girls so in my mind if it is a boy atleast I can remember him with a name that already felt like his. Thank you for all your advice. I am exhausted but they're coming to check my obs again at half 1 so I'm trying to stay awake until then so I can hopefully crash after. Doubt I'll get much sleep Sad
the sex may appear to be one way or the other but the midwives are unlikely to confirm at that gestation as it can still be ambiguous
Lillygolightly · 21/03/2022 05:24

I hope you’ve managed to get some rest OP. I can also confirm what georgousbold said as my boy was perfectly formed, tiny hands and feet, still beautiful (to me of course) it was also obvious he was definitely a boy, the hospital took special pictures for me and I still treasure them.

Some places of support I can recommend they all have Facebook support groups.

Aching arms, tommys, sands and the miscarriage association. They all helped me massively.

Hugs x

Original poster
OopsImDoingItAgain · 21/03/2022 06:02

I managed a few hours. I'm in so much pain my body just doesn't feel like mine. The pelvic pressure is so intense but cervix closed. I don't understand what's going on Sad

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FishFingerSandwiches4Tea · 21/03/2022 06:06

Just adding to the chorus of MN-ers thinking of you OP and wishing you well whatever the outcome today. I hope you have managed some rest and are not having to wait too long this morning for your scan. Love to you and all pp who have walked in your shoes Flowers

mumstheword001 · 21/03/2022 06:08

I'm so sorry OP. I was thinking about you last night, I truly can't imagine what you are going through. I'm glad you've got lots of support on this thread and glad you DH is there with you. Sending lots of hugs and support. DaffodilDaffodil

girlmom21 · 21/03/2022 06:14

Best of luck this morning OP Thanks

daretodenim · 21/03/2022 06:18

Hello OP. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your little baby. I hope the pain can be managed. No words can make this better but please know you have lots of women here who care and who care here to listen. You have done everything right and this is horrendously unfair. Thanks

SunnySideUp2020 · 21/03/2022 06:20

Thinking of you this morning OP.
Flowers Hope you get some answers soon

waitingfortea · 21/03/2022 06:42

I'm so sorry you're going through this @OopsImDoingItAgain xx

wishuponastar1988 · 21/03/2022 06:43

Sending so much love to you x

Mama1980 · 21/03/2022 06:59

I'm so sorry op. Thinking of you and sending strength x

elliesmummy19 · 21/03/2022 07:01

OP, I am so sorry you're going through this. My thoughts are with you x

Joystir59 · 21/03/2022 07:07

So sorry you are going through this op, and so glad you are in hospital in the right place and your DH is with you

Seafog · 21/03/2022 07:12

I'm so sorry this is happening , my heart goes out to you and your familyFlowers

Original poster
OopsImDoingItAgain · 21/03/2022 07:29

I'm trying to just text my boss and explain why I won't be in and such a small thing feels impossible Sad

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RampantIvy · 21/03/2022 07:30
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Nikki037297 · 21/03/2022 07:50

How awful for you Op!! Have you been seen this morning? What time will they scan you? How are you feeling?