Pregnancy after miscarriage support thread

[AlbiMix]

This is a support thread for all who are currently pregnant following a miscarriage. Originating from the TTC after miscarriage group: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4236516-MC-crew-Thread-10?msgid=108052031

Pregnancy after miscarriage is an extremely anxious time so please use this space for support.

@Greenluce
@Lililou

Thank you for setting up this new thread @AlbiMix I take the opportunity to reintroduce myself.

I am 34 years old, we have been TTC DC1 since September 2020 and I got pregnant for the first time at the end of January.
I had a miscarriage in March at 9 weeks and I am now pregnant again.

It’s still very early days, I am 4 weeks + 3 days, but I am not entirely sure, because I have very long, irregular cycles (35-45 days).
I don’t have many symptoms at the moment except for cramps and tiredness.

I am happy and grateful to be pregnant again, but I keep thinking it could be a chemical and I am trying not to get my hopes up. My DH does not even want to acknowledge the fact that I am pregnant again or talk about it until we reach a “safe zone”. I don’t think I will ever feel safe or relieved, but I am trying my best to stay sane!

How many weeks are you? Have you told any family or friends yet?

xx

Hey @AlbiMix thanks the invite, I actually had an ectopic rather than miscarriage but will join into the group anyway. I think there are probably a few others from ectopic group that might be interested too.

Wonder if we could rename it? Eg "pregnancy after loss" or something like that? Is that possible? It's fine if not.

PS. I'm 4+6 I'm trying not to think too much about what's coming, positive or negative, but I'm indulging in the forums here again. It's really great to have a few other people in a similar situation that understand what these very early stages are like after a loss. We're TTC our first after an ectopic earlier this year. It was a very scary time and the treatment I got from the hospital was pretty shocking. I'm now at increased risk for another but feeling strangely calm at the moment. Keeping myself busy and distracted with other things. Have an early scan booked next week.

Hi 👋 could I join please? I’m currently 6+5 or somewhere thereabouts. I lost my last pregnancy at 23 weeks, I gave birth to my little boy on 2 Feb :( it was very traumatic so I am so so so anxious this pregnancy, I just keep thinking that every possible thing that can go wrong , will :( I have an early scan next Tuesday and the days are going soo slowly!

Welcome @lavenderlilaclily and I am so sorry to hear about your loss, that must have been immensely traumatic.
I really hope that you will get some reassurance from your scan next Tuesday. Sending you a big virtual hug xx

Hi , can I join too please, I have a son already who is 4years old. I was pregnant in November but at 11 weeks I was told I was miscarrying and baby had stopped developing at 5weeks. Had a D&C at 12 weeks and that was start of Feb. Got pregnant after 2 cycles and currently 10+4 and still very anxious. I've had 2 reassurance scans so far , 1 at 7 weeks and 1 at 10wks we have seen and heard the heartbeat and today received a letter for my 13wk scan. The anxiety never leaves after a loss, constantly worrying something is going to happen. Hope everyone's pregnancies are successful.

@lavenderlilaclily I'm so sorry for your loss that must have been awful for you I couldn't imagine. Fingers crossed for your scan on Tuesday x

Hey ladies! Hope it's okay if I join you here.

@lavenderlilaclily I can't even imagine what you've been through I'm so sorry for your loss.

My first pregnancy ended in a MC at the end of February at 9 weeks but baby had stopped growing at 7. Felt ready to try again and got my bfp in the next cycle.

I'm now 8+6 and had a scan at 6 weeks for pain and found out I'm having twins. Had a private scan last weekend at 8 weeks and heard the heartbeats for the first time which was wonderful but I'm so anxious it's unreal. I'm sure you all understand. I feel like I was prepared to go through it all again but it happened so fast and the fact it's twins has really thrown me. I think I'm anxious x2.

Has anyone told their families? I think we're going to surprise ours next weekend for Father's Day because even though it will be before 12 weeks we would tell our families whatever happens anyway.

Hi all. Would like to join you. I had a MC a few months ago, just under 6 weeks. We were lucky to get pregnant on first cycle after (no period between).

I'm 7 weeks today. I feel oddly calm this time round, despite having some spotting for a couple of days. Booked in for an early scan due to the spotting/cramps on Monday.

Very sorry to you all for your losses ♥️
@lavenderlilaclily I am so so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have lots of support 💐

Morning ladies,

I hope you are all well today. Have you got a any nice plans for this sunshine filled weekend?

@Madeoftea it’s a lovely idea to tell them on Father’s Day. I told my mum as soon as I found this time, because I wanted to give her a good news for a change. Last time I told her about my pregnancy only after the MC.
I will see my dad and brother in a couple of weeks, when I will be (hopefully) 7 weeks and I will tell them then.

I felt so lonely during my first pregnancy and MC because nobody knew about it and I could not see my family due to the lockdown. This time I prefer to tell them so they can support me.

Hiya can I join?

I'm currently 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

I lost my last baby at 10 weeks in august 2019 and it's taken us this long to get pregnant again.

I'm super anxious and can't relax. Every twinge and cramp sends me into a frenzy.

I just want to know that this pregnancy will go okay.

Hi everyone, lovely to see so many messages here.

@Lililou sorry about the title, I don't know if it's possible to change it now, if anyone knows how to do that please let me know. I didn't mean to exclude anyone and it goes without saying that this is a place for anyone who has suffered pregnancy loss at any stage and in any form.

@lavenderlilaclily so so sorry for your loss, that sounds incredibly traumatic and you're so strong for getting through that and trying again. Let us know how your scan goes.

I miscarried at 8 weeks earlier this year but the scan showed the baby had reached just 6 weeks. Despite being early, I found the miscarriage quite painful and tough because of not knowing what to expect. In the end I think I was lucky as it wasn't as horrible as what some people go through, but the fact I found it very painful at that early stage makes me so scared of what could happen if I miscarry later this time. I got pregnant again on the first cycle of trying after the MC and initially was only feeling apprehension and dread. I'm now coming up to 13 weeks and my 12 week scan went fine so we've started talking more about the pregnancy and the possibility of having a baby but I'm still not comfortable with letting too much excitement creep in. I'm wondering how others are feeling about that? As you progress through the pregnancy are you less worried or more?

@Greenluce we've only told close family so far after the 12w scan. From now on I intend to tell friends only if I'm seeing them. I don't want to advertise it unnecessarily. I don't know when I would feel differently.

To everyone who has posted I'm sending you good thoughts!

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support 💕

@Madeoftea that sounds like a really nice idea to tell them on Father's Day.
@Greenluce, I think telling your mum and some other family members is a good idea. MC and pregnancy loss can be so, so lonely, and it's so important to have that support there no matter what happens.

I've told my parents and my sisters in law who I'm very close with, as well as some close friends. The anxiety hit me hard as soon as I got the bfp and I really need the support and people to talk it through. I'm also getting counselling. Though outside of closest family and friends I don't want to tell anyone else until basically the baby is born.

@AlbiMix having a good 12 week scan is a really good milestone to hit! I know it's so hard to relax (I don't think I ever will again) but I hope you are able to a bit soon and let the joy come in.

Please may I join? I'm not even sure if it's really classed as a loss as it wasn't natural but I'll explain. Currently 5+4 with this pregnancy and terrified. My last pregnancy ended at 13 weeks with a TFMR in February, my baby girl was diagnosed with Edwards' Syndrome so we chose to terminate as the odds of carrying to term were so low. We've been reassured that as it was a chromosomal problem and not genetic it's unlikely to happen again but that thought is still in my mind and the memories are still vivid.
I've tried joining other MN groups but most are full of first time mums who don't understand what it feels like to be pregnant, have all the symptoms and then get the horrendous news. I so want to get excited but I'm so anxious if something going wrong I'm not sure if I can take it emotionally if something does happen!
Sorry for the essay x

@lavenderlilaclily I can't even imagine how that must've been for you. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that, sending all the love 💖

Morning ladies

Almost 11 weeks here ekkkk!!! Super anxious. Trying not to get ahead of myself and really think too much about things. Scan is coming up and will take it for there.

I’m a member of a lovely mumsnet due in January Facebook group. Totally private. We have ladies from end December through to early feb in it. If anyone would like to join just let me know and I can send you the link. As my pregnancy progresses I don’t like to share too much on public forums xxxx

Hello all!

I've been trying for 5 years and had a m/c at 7 weeks in December
I'm now 16+5 and feel far more anxious than I did in first trimester
I feel I have SO much to lose now and don't feel particularly pregnant, haven't felt any movements and am very overweight so haven't really noticed a bump :(
The anxiety is the hardest thing to deal with and I just keep setting myself small goals and milestones to reach
I have a private scan booked for this weekend and thoughts that it won't go well have started to creep in!

Hi everyone,

Sorry to jump on here, I thought maybe you could give me a bit of advice.

I came off the pill last July after being on it for 10 years and I fell pregnant on my fourth cycle. I suffered a miscarriage on the 4th of January. I believed I was 11 weeks pregnant however when the hospital scanned me they said it looks as though it was more like 7 weeks. I got a negative pregnancy test and stopped bleeding after three weeks and thought that was the end of it but I didn't feel myself. I pushed for the hospital to see me and it was confirmed I had retained pregnancy tissue so I had to be booked in for surgical management on the 17th of March.

It's been nearly 13 weeks since my operation and I still haven't had a period! Did anyone else ever have the same thing?

Just to add, when I miscarried because they said I was only 7 weeks I was advised I would just have heavy bleeding but I passed large pieces of tissue sorry TMI!

Just concerned something isn't right as it has been so long and they asked me if I had regular periods before my pregnancy. I had a period in august, September and October then found out I was pregnant so i would say that's pretty regular!

I'm having a blood test this week to check for PCOS and an under active Thyroid but I'm just super stressed out.

Thanks

@stripytiger09 I am so sorry to hear about your TFMR, I think that’s definitely considered a loss and you are welcome to join this group.
I hope we can offer a bit of support and a space to share your thoughts and concerns during this anxious time.

@ElmtreeMama I hope that your private scan will give you a bit of reassurance and make you feel less worried, even if just for a short time.
Setting small goals and milestones will definitely help you to get through this pregnancy.

@Kele94 I am sorry to hear about your loss and not having a period yet must be so stressful. I am sorry I cannot offer any practical advice, but I hope one of the other ladies can.
Hopefully you will find out more information after your blood tests.

Hi ladies,
I think I'd like to tentatively join if that's ok? I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in March and conceived again on my 2nd cycle post mc. I'm regretting testing so early because I got a BFP at 9dpo. Now I'm only 4+1 and it already seems like a lifetime ago! I've been worrying all weekend because I've felt very nauseaus and it seems far too early symptoms. I convinced myself it's a molar pregnancy because I also had a dark test at 12dpo. Today I don't feel sick and so I'm worrying about that instead!! It's going to be a long 8 months (if I get that far) ... xx

@stripytiger09 I'm really sorry to hear about your TMFR. It absolutely is a pregnancy loss and I can imagine there are so many emotions tied up in it. I also understand your worry despite being reassured - we've also been reassured that what happened to our boy was completely random and rare and there's no reason it should happen again, but it's so hard to believe when it's fresh in your mind. Sending you lots of love as well.

@Kele94 I'm sorry about your loss and everything you've been through. I can't answer your question with any certainty, but I do think it varies when periods come back for different people, though 13 weeks does seem unusually long. I think it's good you're getting some tests done though - I'd definitely push with your GP and/or the hospital where you had your maternity care for them to investigate, if only to put your mind at ease. You've been through so much and you deserve care and support!

@Flopsy88 welcome, I remember you from the ttc after miscarriage thread, gentle congratulations on your bfp!! (I was on that thread briefly, then I had a really tough few weeks and was off MN and then I got a very surprise bfp). It's so hard not to worry about every single thing and to not immediately go to worst case scenario. I also found out pretty early and I spent the first two or so weeks convincing myself the pregnancy was ectopic. I had a very early scan at 5+2, and it thankfully wasn't. Prior to pregnancy loss, I could generally trust my body to tell me when something was wrong, but I think right now it is sending stress and panic signals that something is wrong ALL the time and it's no longer reliable to know what is reasonable worry and what is post-traumatic panic.

Thank you @lavenderlilaclily I think I've spent too much reading/listening to people's experiences of loss and fertility issues that it's made me more aware of all the things that can go wrong. Even though it was really comforting and helped me feel less alone, it also made really unlikely things seem more common than they are. Does that make sense? I can't imagine how anxious you must feel after losing your baby so late, that must have been absolutely heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. Are you getting extra monitoring this time?

@Ralala hiya can you send me the link please

Hi, would I be able to join too please? I'm from the previous mc support threads, but haven't posted too much on there since finding out I'm pregnant as didn't want to cause anyone any upset. I went through a mc in December at 7 weeks and am now 16weeks.

Please can I tentatively join? I got a very early BFP yesterday.

I have 2 wonderful DC's age 11 & 9 and I've had 5 early losses- 1 chemical before my first DC, 1 twin MMC before my second DC then a partial molar pregnancy in 2013 and another 2 mmc in 2020.

I'm over the moon to be pregnant again but also wary of getting too carried away given my history.