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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after miscarriage support thread

193 replies

AlbiMix · 10/06/2021 18:27

This is a support thread for all who are currently pregnant following a miscarriage. Originating from the TTC after miscarriage group: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4236516-MC-crew-Thread-10?msgid=108052031

Pregnancy after miscarriage is an extremely anxious time so please use this space for support.

@Greenluce
@Lililou

OP posts:
Lililou · 18/06/2021 10:46

Thanks @AlbiMix, setting off shortly for it 😅

AlbiMix · 18/06/2021 13:22

@Lililou let us know how you get on 🤞

OP posts:
Gemster19 · 20/06/2021 12:45

Please can I jump on ladies? Currently 4+1 after a miscarriage in June 2019 and not even a squinter ever since. As it's been so long I don't usually even test, only did this month as I was booked onto a hot yoga class and thought I should double check! Didn't even tell DP for 3 days as I just couldn't believe it - I feel so incredibly lucky but absolutely bl**dy terrified!

Lililou · 20/06/2021 18:26

Scan went very well! It's in the right place and we even saw a heartbeat. 💓

Gemster19 · 20/06/2021 20:22

Congratulations @Lililou , so amazing to have heard a heartbeat. Were you exactly 6 weeks?

Lililou · 20/06/2021 20:39

I was bang on 6 weeks. I'll be honest I was going in thinking about the scan as a thing to rule out another ectopic. It hadn't really sunk in until the following day that it was actually real and good news.

Greenluce · 21/06/2021 07:19

@Lililou Fantastic news, I am happy to hear all went well xx

ButtercupBlue · 21/06/2021 09:21

That's great news @Lililou what a relief!

Welcome to the thread @Gemster19 I'm 4w2d today so I think we must be due the same day!

I've bitten the bullet and booked an early private scan at 6 weeks. I know I won't relax even after that though as my last three losses I saw a heartbeat at 6/7 weeks only for it to then stop around 8 weeks.

ButtercupBlue · 21/06/2021 09:26

[quote Greenluce]@ButtercupBlue Did you go to your class last night? Let us know how it went!

@lavenderlilaclily I am so happy to hear all went well with your first scan yesterday.

@AlbiMix How unhelpful and insensitive for your midwife to say that!
I am really torn, exercise is such a big part of my routine, I would usually attend 4/5 classes per week, but I do not want to tell any instructors about my pregnancy yet because is still very early days. I find online classes quite boring now, but I might do some gentle yoga just to do something.

I really hope that I will feel less anxious and stressed after my 12 week scan (wishful thinking I know!) and that I will be able to join prenatal classes in my second trimester.
Have you tried to look for any good prenatal yoga or pilates class in your area?[/quote]
Only just spotted this, sorry!

I didn't go to the class in the end. I was on the fence about whether or not to go during the day but by the evening I had a banging headache anyway so wouldn't have gone regardless of being pregnant (if that makes sense?!)

I spoke to the class instructor over the weekend and told her about being pregnant and my previous miscarriages etc and I've decided to step off the course. They'll be running another one later in the year so maybe if I'm still pregnant and feeling well I might feel brave enough to give it a go then.

I feel silly sometimes in the things I don't feel comfortable doing in first trimester (I've totally given up caffeine because I don't want to risk going over the 'allowance', I've been repainting my bedroom furniture but I've stopped half way through and now this with the exercise class!) but otoh I'm just trying to do what feels right given everything we've been through. I know if I didn't, I'd only be beating myself up later if something went wrong.

Gemster19 · 22/06/2021 20:59

@ButtercupBlue oh wow, so nice to be on the same timeline as someone else! Have you booked your early scan for 6 weeks exactly? I've booked one today too for 6+5, counting down the days already!

AlbiMix · 23/06/2021 10:09

Amazing @Lililou so so happy for you!!!!

Welcome @Gemster19 we all know the feeling of absolute fear seeing the BFP after a miscarriage. I was so apprehensive and it was really tough but the support from people in these threads got me through!

@ButtercupBlue I totally get you, I've stopped exercising except for long walks...and hardly having caffeine but tbh I don't mind the caffeine thing so much as I'm just replacing with decaff hot drinks.

Good luck to you both for your 6w scans. I had one too, not so much for reassurance but more so that if baby had stopped growing like the first time, I wanted to know asap so I could move on. Similar to Lilou I also wanted to make sure it was in the right place etc.

How is everyone doing? I'm back into an anxious state, it's been just over 2 weeks since my 12w scan and I'm worrying again. I made the mistake of trying to "prepare myself" in case something goes wrong now, and ended up reading all these heartbreaking stories of people losing babies and finding out at the 20w scan 😭 I know it was a stupid thing to do but I just don't want to be complacent and I want to try to prepare myself for the worst case scenario...but man that was really sad, I was in tears. I need someone to snap me out of this!

OP posts:
ButtercupBlue · 23/06/2021 11:32

@Gemster19 I wanted to book one for a Saturday so DP could come, which gave me a choice of going at 6 weeks exactly or 7 weeks exactly so decided to go early and see what's happening in there!

@Albimix That's exactly how I feel about the scan- I don't think it'll reassure me as such but it rules out things like ectopic and makes the waiting slightly more bearable if it's broken up by a couple of early scans. Sorry you're struggling after the 12 week scan. I just don't think pregnancy after a loss ever gets any easier. With both my boys, I worried the whole way through (and even after they were safely here!) thinking anything could happen to them.

I woke up for my usual middle of the night wee at 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep so I'm exhausted today. I actually cried at 7 this morning because I couldn't find a black t-shirt I wanted to wear on the school run, that's how heightened my emotions are right now!

Flopsy88 · 23/06/2021 11:33

Hi ladies! Hope everyone is ok

So pleased your scan went well @Lililou It must have been lovely to hear a little heartbeat!

I've just listened to this podcast episode about exercise which was really helpful and has made me feel a lot better about everything. It sound like your midwife was talking rubbish about the squats @AlbiMix Everything I've read on the internet also seems to recommend them during pregnancy!

open.spotify.com/episode/6LlxxDGz6nLvyphy0rl9IZ?si=0hDKSw9pThy2EvbKxXlxaw&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1

I'm really struggling to decide what to do about an early scan. I'd planned to have one at 7 weeks but we're really busy around then and then going on holiday for a week, so the only appointments we could make would be for 6+3 or 9wks. I'm scared that 6+3 might be too early and I won't get the reassurance I want but 9 weeks feels like ages away!

AlbiMix · 23/06/2021 15:36

@ButtercupBlue I'm sure you're right, it's worry from here on out I suppose! I agree that the early scans helped break things up for me and it stopped me freaking out quite as much as if I had just known nothing until 12 weeks.

Thanks @Flopsy88 I'll have a listen. It just seems like everyone is too scared to tell you that it's ok to do XYZ, out of an abundance of caution... but it's not always healthy and I feel a midwife should be able to give more nuanced advice.

If it helps at all, I went for my early scan at 6+3 and they were able to see things even just with an abdominal scan (I thought a TV one might be necessary but it wasn't). They should be able to see by then, but of course if they can't it could just be too early and I'm guessing that's where your anxiety is coming from, that you wouldn't know if it's just too early or something's wrong. The place I go to let's you come back a week later if they can't see anything, but I guess that doesn't fit with your plans? Is there any way you could book for 6+3 and if nothing is seen, go back a week after?

OP posts:
A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 23/06/2021 16:59

I just had my scan, and measured 7+1 and they saw it on the ordinary ultrasound (not the transvaginal) with a heartbeat. At five weeks exactly they saw a sac and a yolk, so I'd go ahead at 6+3 rather than wait. But then I'm impatient!

Just for the thread in case anyone has similar, I went for a private scan today because I had spotting this morning. She saw a tiny 1cm measurement of blood in the uterus and said this is caused by the placenta embedding. So seeing blood isn't necessarily a bad thing (I thought it was all over). And I might have more spotting while the rest comes out

Gemster19 · 23/06/2021 20:42

Thank you @AlbiMix I feel better already just knowing you're all here and get how I feel!

@ButtercupBlue totally understand, I'd have had to wait to 8 weeks for my DP to be able to come but he's off work 6+5 because it's his birthday. I was a bit anxious about it but just hoping the universe wouldn't be cruel enough to give us bad news on his birthday!

Thanks for sharing the podcast @Flopsy88 I'm hoping to start swimming and yoga again next week. I've just been too anxious this week given my absolute disbelief at the BFP and that it is the anniversary of my MC today - hoping I'll feel ever so slightly less anxious once I get past that. I think I'd definitely go with 6+3 if I were you, even if they can't see quite as much as you'd hope just confirmation that you are exactly where you should be might tide you over?

Congratulations on your scan @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 ! I'm constantly inspecting the toilet paper so it's really reassuring to hear that about your bleeding, I think I'd assume the same if you hadn't said that. Fingers crossed for you it eases soon Smile

Ralala · 23/06/2021 21:35

Hi ladies ,

Sorry I have been quiet. I had my 12 week scan today. Baby in the right place and a lovely heartbeat . All looking good for us this time xxxx

wag1987 · 24/06/2021 19:15

@Ralala yay that's good, I have mine tomorrow so fingers crossed all still ok for me too x

ButtercupBlue · 24/06/2021 19:25

@wag1987 good luck for tomorrow

@Ralala that's great news about your scan, I'm so pleased for you.

@Gemster19 I really hope it's good news for you on his birthday.

Not much to report here, just counting down to my 6 week scan. The trouble with getting a bfp so early is that I already feel like I've been pregnant forever and I'm only 4 weeks 5 days!!!

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 24/06/2021 19:32

@Ralala that's amazing news!!!

Ralala · 24/06/2021 20:14

Thanks ladies. I’m 12 +4 and still feeling rough. Hoping I start to feel better soon! Symptoms have been strong this pregnancy. I had a slight concern it was twins but just the one in there!!!

ChaiTRex · 24/06/2021 22:51

Joining in!
I had a miscarriage at the beginning of February and then found out a few weeks ago that I am pregnant again. Both were unplanned, but my husband and I are thrilled and much more optimistic for this one. We’ve been together seven years, never used protection after the first few months, and I only have one ovary soooo…. We thought we were going to have to try real hard, but I guess poof! 32 is my age for peak fertility ;)
I had some spotting starting about ten days ago. I cried and cried because my fatigue went away (probably just anxiety kicking in) and went for a scan. Saw a heartbeat, and measuring five days further along than we’d thought!

She couldn’t tell exactly what was causing the spotting but said since it was so light, no stress. It’s almost stopped now. Every time I wipe, I brace myself for the crazy red blood that happened with my miscarriage. But overall, I’m just trying to stay calm and happy and active.

AlbiMix · 24/06/2021 23:45

Excellent news @Ralala about your scan!!!

Good luck for tomorrow @wag1987 let us know how it goes!

@ButtercupBlue the early weeks are such a drag, hang in there. I mean it's all a bit of a drag but I think the very early weeks are the hardest. Try to take it one week at a time.

Welcome @ChaiTRex and glad to hear your bleeding wasn't serious. I wish I could be calm happy and active haha.

OP posts:
Ralala · 25/06/2021 07:54

I don’t think the anxiety about going to the toilet ever leaves after a miscarriage!!

We are waiting on screening results coming back then we share our news

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 25/06/2021 08:34

@ChaiTRex I had the same thing with a little spotting after going to the toilet for a number 2, and was terrified to see it! Scared to go to the loo now 🙈 However she said mine was a tiny haematoma from the placenta embedding and was less than 1 cubic cm visible on the scan. Normally it'll reabsorb but mine came out. It's scary to see blood but 1/4 to 1/3 of people apparently have some sort of spotting in the 1st trimester