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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after miscarriage support thread

193 replies

AlbiMix · 10/06/2021 18:27

This is a support thread for all who are currently pregnant following a miscarriage. Originating from the TTC after miscarriage group: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4236516-MC-crew-Thread-10?msgid=108052031

Pregnancy after miscarriage is an extremely anxious time so please use this space for support.

@Greenluce
@Lililou

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Greenluce · 06/10/2021 15:53

Thank you @wag1987 I am glad to know I am not the only one who does not really understands movements, they are still so random! I will stop worrying about it and googling stuff and I will wait for my next appointment, so I can ask a doctor/midwife.

Another question for you and the other ladies, have you bought a pram yet? I have started researching online, this is my first baby so I will have to buy one, but I feel slightly overwhelmed by the breadth of choice.
I find it more difficult than buying a car!

Any recommendations are really welcome! I want to make a decision by November because I would like to take advantage of Black Friday deals and buy one then. xx

Flopsy88 · 06/10/2021 16:41

Hi ladies,
Hope everyone is doing ok. I've not been on here for a while. Mostly because I stopped thinking about my previous loss so much and have felt quite relaxed and positive since my 12 week scan. I didn't want to think about the possibility of it going wrong again. Hearing a heartbeat at my 16 week midwife appointment was lovely and tided me over until 20 weeks when we found out we're having a healthy little boy ❤ I'm 21+2 now and have been feeling movements for a couple of weeks. Sometimes I can feel him all day and then some days I can't feel anything for hours which freaks me out a bit. I read that you're not supposed to worry about movements until 28 weeks and that you're not supposed to count kicks anymore, just look out for a change in patterns?

@Greenluce I was also told my placenta is 'slightly touching' my cervix and will have am extra scan at 30 weeks to check if it's moved. If not it'll be a C-section. She didn't mention anything about avoiding sex or exercise though. I'm thinking about ringing the midwife to ask her but it feels like a silly reason to phone!

We haven't bought a pram yet but have been looking. It's a minefield!! Are you thinking of getting a travel system? I have no idea what we actually need and everyone gives different advice! xx

Greenluce · 06/10/2021 18:47

@Flopsy88 Lovely to hear from you and congratulations on your baby boy!

Regarding movements you are right they do not advise to count kicks anymore only to pay attention to patterns and notice if there is anything different, but I guess it's probably too early and we will have to wait until the third trimester. I will ask my midwife at my next appointment at the end of the month and report back!

I don't want to worry you unnecessarily, it might be that my midwife is being overly cautious with her advice or that my placenta is covering the cervix more than it should be. I will have a scan at 28 weeks to check it.

Yes, I am thinking to buy a travel system, I have not been to any shops yet, but I have watched countless videos on this You Tube channel, The Stroller Workshop, which is very good for stroller comparisons. I am planning to go to John Lewis next weekend to have a look to some strollers and get a better idea.

Some friends of mine rave about YoyoBabyZen, others about Stokke Xplory, and others recommended Baby Jogger City Mini GT2, I am honestly so confused! xx

Flopsy88 · 06/10/2021 20:37

@Greenluce There's just so many things to think about! Off road wheels, making sure it fits in the car, how easily it folds up, cost... we were also hoping to get a car seat that reclines so they can be left sleeping in it for longer. There's so many safety regulations these days! I think at John Lewis and Mamas and Papas you can can book an appointment and they go through everything with you so you can decide what you need. It's really exciting to be at the stage where we have to worry about these things 🙂

Re. the placenta, I'm trying not to worry about it too much at the moment although everything I've read online says to avoid sex. It's a shame because now the nausea and tiredness has gone I actually feel like having sex and exercising again! My sonographer said that 99% of the time they move out of the way in time for a natural birth. And if not then are lots of advantages of a planned section, even if it's not what we'd have wanted ideally xx

Gemster19 · 10/10/2021 15:26

Had my scan on Wednesday @wag1987 - all looking good! We decided not to find out, but have definitely spent the rest of the week analysing the scan pics every which way to see if we can work it out ourselves .

I've spent so many hours researching prams in prep for Black Friday too but I haven't heard of any of those you mentioned @Greenluce so I might be starting again now!

Has anyone else struggled with their appetite once they got past the sickness? I finally started to feel better once I was on anti-sickness meds and got to about 16 weeks but since then I'm just hardly ever hungry. I'm managing about a bowl of cereal and a dinner each day and so I know we're not exactly going to waste away, but that's far less than I would eat before I was pregnant!

AlbiMix · 25/10/2021 08:55

Hi everyone, so sorry for not responding earlier to messages, I haven't been checking as a bit like @Flopsy88 I was trying to control my anxiety about the pregnancy and in recent months it felt hard to come back here.

@Greenluce @wag1987 @Gemster19 so happy to hear you are all doing well. I'm also having a baby boy. Also had 3 private scans before 20w, I feel that got me through the first part of the pregnancy when my anxiety was sky high.

Greenluce I'm also having extra scans because of medical complexities, tbh I'm glad for it as it gives a little reassurance to be monitored more closely.

Re: the movements, that's the new thing to worry about when you get to like 22/24 weeks ish haha. My placenta is high and baby is extremely active so I was told I'd feel him early on. I reckon I started getting little flicks around 18 weeks. At 23 weeks I was worrying about how sometimes the movement was less so I contacted my MW and they said they wouldn't expect a pattern until 26 weeks. There's conflicting info, a lot of sources say 28 weeks. Even now at 32 I'm still getting some days which are more quiet. At the last appointment my MW reiterated that if worried about reduced movements there's no issue with phoning them and going in. I've only phoned once so far as I do feel bad in case I'm overreacting, but they have said to phone if worried.

On the whole I'm alright, what I'm worried about a bit is the baby's size and growth. My bump is very small (as many people comment) but since I'm having growth scans they aren't too worried. Baby is little but apparently growing alright. Certainly feels he's getting stronger judging by the intensity of his movements😂

Re: prams, I feel the same! I feel you have to do so much research to avoid paying loads and then not liking what you get. I want to get second hand just in case I get it wrong, but struggling to know how much is reasonable to offer on eBay and Facebook, people keep rejecting my offers 😂 but if there are good deals on black Friday maybe I will check that out.

The other thing I'm worrying about now is the birth 😅 anyone else?

Gemster19 I haven't struggled with appetite but it has gone down since around 6 months as previously I was ravenous constantly and had no sickness (was very lucky there). I'm now eating similar amounts to pre pregnancy. Can you speak to your MW and explain about your appetite and ask whether you're ok with what you're eating or if they have any tips for increasing your appetite? I also asked about whether I need to be worrying about gaining a specific amount of weight and they said no. They don't weigh me at my appointments and I have no scales at home.

Sorry for this huge post, I hope everyone is doing well!

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AlbiMix · 25/10/2021 09:54

@Frankie20 @MollySxx @Gem2992 @Sarahdaydreamer1234 I hope you are doing well and if you have any more qs for those of us who are further along please get in touch!

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Ward2021 · 01/11/2021 06:00

Hi, i am just looking for some advice, i recently miscarried my 5th baby end of august after only finding out a week before we were expecting. I was on the pill and was due to swap to another one to stop my periods due to ongoing pain for endo & pcos that is how we found out. I also had Lletz treatment back in december. I had my follow up smear middle of september which has thankfully come back all clear 🙌 i then had my first period if you can call it that since the mc on the 1st october, it lasted 2 days, wasn't heavy or clotty. I recently started having symptoms again, i took a test 2 days ago which came positive. I have been on this new pill for over a month! I am so nervous and scared and just looking for some advice really xx

AlbiMix · 08/11/2021 09:56

Hi @Ward2021, really sorry for your losses, but congratulations on your recent BFP! I was really anxious when I got pregnant after one MC so I can imagine your anxiety now. Since you've had a few losses, are you being monitored by any specialists? If so then hopefully that will help to keep you on track - what I found hardest was the first trimester where you usually have very little idea of what's actually happening. My MC and subsequent pregnancy happened in lockdown and I think that made it harder as there was nothing to distract me. As soon as I was able to do more and see more people I realised I was able to stop fixating so much on the pregnancy. So my advice is to try and take your mind off it by keeping busy, if you can. I also had a few early scans to help me get through the first trimester, but I appreciate this isn't helpful for everyone, especially if you've had multiple losses.

Hopefully if you are being supported due to previous losses this will help keep you on track, but you can always check in here if you need support!

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Sarahdaydreamer1234 · 08/11/2021 21:09

Hi ladies! I just had a query that maybe some of you are also wondering.. Ive had 2 mc no live births and now I am 30 weeks and I am curious if the birth will be more typical of a first pregnancy or not due to the misscarriages? I guess I am hoping that the birth might be a bit easier/quicker than most first births as my body has done something similar before.

AlbiMix · 14/11/2021 22:49

Hi @Sarahdaydreamer1234 this crossed my mind but since my MC was early (8 weeks) I figured it wouldn't be similar enough to actual childbirth...maybe if you had a late MC the birth could be more like a in a second pregnancy, but honestly I have no idea!

The reason I have wondered something similar is that I'm worried I will be a huge wimp during childbirth, because I found the the miscarriage, which only involved passing a tiny thing, quite painful. I felt I had contraction-like pain even after passing the sac. Would be interested to know how others feel.

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Hopingforarainbow27 · 13/01/2022 11:27

Hi I'm not sure how active this thread is, I just got my bfp after two miscarriages. How is everyone doing? Any positive stories?

Ralala · 13/01/2022 12:18

My gorgeous little baby was born last week. My anniversary of my loss is almost upon us and it seems crazy to think what a difference a year makes. Xxx

surprised12 · 13/01/2022 12:48

Just spotted this! It's a great idea.

I'm 7+4 after a missed miscarriage earlier in the year. To say it's a nervous time is an understatement:(

Cakecakecheese · 13/01/2022 15:47

I'm 9+4 and I was around 9 weeks when I had a missed miscarriage in December 2020 so you can probably understand how I'm feeling right now. It's hard to stay positive like everyone says when I keep expecting something to go wrong.

Flopsy88 · 13/01/2022 16:13

@Hopingforarainbow27 Congratulations on your BFP!! The next few weeks are bound to be a very anxious time for you. I really hope this your rainbow 🤞🏻 I had a miscarriage in March 2021 and I'm currently 35+3 with my baby boy, due in February. I took a low dose of Aspirin (75mg) this time. I don't know if it helped or was necessary but it hasn't done any harm and it made me feel like I was doing something different this time. Also getting an early scan at 7/8 weeks helped to reassure me we were on the right track

@Ralala Congratulations! That's wonderful news! ❤ I hope you're enjoying every moment of it and recovering nicely from birth

surprised12 · 13/01/2022 19:04

@Cakecakecheese

I'm 9+4 and I was around 9 weeks when I had a missed miscarriage in December 2020 so you can probably understand how I'm feeling right now. It's hard to stay positive like everyone says when I keep expecting something to go wrong.
Totally understand - missed miscarriage for me too at 7 weeks but didn't find out until 12 weeks.

I had an early scan last weekend, and ended up booking another for when I'll be 10 weeks just to try and relieve myself!

Praying like crazy this one sticks Thanks

AlbiMix · 08/02/2022 16:52

Congratulations @Ralala on your baby's arrival! My baby boy was born at the end of December too.

@Flopsy88 best of luck and I hope your baby arrives safely soon if they haven't already.

@Cakecakecheese @surprised12 @Hopingforarainbow27 congratulations! Pregnancy after a loss is so hard but you can do this. I had early scans at 6 and 10 weeks which helped keep me sane during the first tri after a MC at 8 weeks. It got a lot easier after the 20 week scan, so hang in there.

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