Pregnancy after miscarriage support thread

[AlbiMix]

This is a support thread for all who are currently pregnant following a miscarriage. Originating from the TTC after miscarriage group: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4236516-MC-crew-Thread-10?msgid=108052031

Pregnancy after miscarriage is an extremely anxious time so please use this space for support.

@Greenluce
@Lililou

Has anyone had the Covid vaccine during pregnancy? I'm due to have first one the afternoon and really unsure what to do. They are saying to have vaccine before third trimester to avoid risks if catching Covid in third trimester.

Hi, can I join please? I'm 7 weeks pregnant after a mmc in April. Up until now I've felt fairly positive about this pregnancy but now I'm starting to have doubts creep in that this will be another mmc. It's awful but in my head I'm just thinking if this baby isn't going to make it I would rather start bleeding now and know, than have the blissful ignorance of an mmc thinking everything is ok. Does anyone have any tips on how to manage these anxious thoughts?

@BaaBaaEmily I feel exactly the same - I'm 7 weeks pregnant tomorrow and feeling very anxious. I'm just trying to distract myself as much as possible using work etc.

I'm sorry your feeling the same @bumpyknuckles it's so difficult isn't it? I'm trying to keep busy and it's worked so far but today I've just gone into full on internal meltdown. I haven't spoken to DH about it either as he's got a lot of work and family stress at the moment and I don't want to add to that.

Hi @wag1987 how are you feeling? Did you have your first Covid jab?

I have not had mine yet, but I am planning to book it after my anomaly scan in September. I know they advise to have the jab at any stage of pregnancy, but I prefer to wait just for peace of mind.

A couple of friends of mine had it in the second trimester and their pregnancies are progressing well, they did not have many symptoms after their jabs and they reassured me a lot.

@BaaBaaEmily @bumpyknuckles I am sorry you are both feeling very anxious but I can completely relate.

I was extremely anxious during my first trimester, the only thing that really helped me was to talk with people about it (my DH, mum and my counsellor).
I encourage you to speak with someone you trust, a friend or family member or seek help and speak with a counsellor.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is such a lonely and tough experience, make sure to share your feelings and worries with a trusted person and take care of yourselves. xx

Sorry for the late reply but @Bdbel I'm so so sorry for your loss. If you see this I hope you're doing ok and are being supported.

@wag1987 I had my second dose of AstraZeneca at 16-17 weeks. Agonised over the decision but very glad I had it, since heavily pregnant women are quite high risk with COVID. Baby looked alright at the 20w scan.

@BaaBaaEmily congratulations on your pregnancy and I know exactly how you feel. When I found out I was pregnant again after my MC I was just so anxious and worried, there was no excitement. The first trimester in particular was a massive mental struggle, I'm not going to lie. I also wanted to know ASAP if it had gone wrong again so I had two private scans which I only booked two days in advance because of superstition that I'd miscarry before them. I found thoee scans kept me sane, but I know not everyone finds them helpful.

Do come here to vent when you need, we all know what you're going through.

Hi. Would love to join. Sorry to those who have had recent losses.

I had a MMC at ten weeks in Jan and an early miscarriage in April.

Currently about 4+4. Am so nervous and scared, haven't once got excited! We already have a private scan booked in for a few weeks time. It's such a horrible feeling because there isn't anything you can do but wait!

I am now 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant after 2 MC I have period type pain and cramping in my left ovary. Already have a 5 year old and can't remember if this is normal or not. Any advice would be great.

@BaaBaaEmily @bumpyknuckles

You're definitely not alone in how you are feeling. I've just spoken with my GP and am taking some time off work for mental health reasons. I've been forcing myself to work since the miscarriage and I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything I just needed a break.

@Kateb47 I remember with my first I had period type cramping early on (I keep having to remind myself it is probably normal cramping as I'm having it now as well). With my miscarriage I had been having one-sided ovary pain and I was concerned about ectopic pregnancy. When I was scanned they checked my ovaries and said that side was the ovary I had ovulated from and that could be contributing to the soreness. If your pain is severe or you are bleeding, definitely get it checked out.

Hi ladies, firstly congratulations on all your positives! I got my positive on Tuesday and I'm exactly 5 weeks today. I have had 4 miscarriages, my most recent one being March 2021 which was a silent miscarriage.

I'm now on this journey again, I'm scared, nervous, excited, anxious, scared again😂 I feel like I just went to scream. I'm in such a daze

Is anyone being induced early due to previous miscarriages? I've been offered induction at 39 weeks - ages away yet! I don't know if I'm convinced I need to be induced early I'm young and healthy and apart from miscarriages no cause for concern. Consultant was vague and didn't push either way - i would really prefer to avoid emcs!

I've recently found out I am pregnant again after a MMC at 8 weeks in February☹️its early days and I am nearly 4 weeks.

Before I got pregnant I was so excited and now I am completely terrified. My MMC was horrific and an awful time for me. It broke my heart!

I am happy and feeling positive but I cant help but worry about what could happen.

Does anyone have any recommendations that could help me calm down? Any books that would be good to read?

Baby dust to everyone TTC and I hope you get a BFP soon❤️

@AlbiMix @Greenluce sorry not seen any messages not been on for a while. Had my first Covid jab and all ok so far. Will have second in a few more weeks. I was very nervous about it and whether it was the right decision but everyone was more or less like I should have it. I see the rates of pregnant women in third trimester who haven't had the jab are higher. Risk with everything I suppose.

How are you both?

@wag1987 I am glad to hear you felt well after your first dose, how many weeks are you? I am 18 weeks and I booked my first Covid jab for next week, I feel very nervous about it and I hope I am doing the right thing.

@AlbiMix how are you feeling? Hope all is going well.

@EmL98 Congratulations! I know it’s a very happy but scary time! Few people in this group have recommended the book Pregnancy after Loss, I have not read it and to be honest I have not bought any pregnancy book or anything pregnancy related really!
I might buy my first pair of maternity jeans this week because I cannot fit in my normal clothes anymore.

@Greenluce you will be fine , I am nearly 24weeks so was just over 20weeks when had first. I still don't know if right choice or not but done now.

Hope your pregnancy is going well, I'm exhausted this time around.

Hi all, can I join this thread?
I have recently found out I'm pregnant straight after my first miscarriage at 7 weeks (no period between)
I have a DS already so I was totally shocked I had a miscarriage even though you hear how common it is.
We didn't anticipate getting pregnant so soon after but it just happened but now my anxiety is through the roof mainly because of lots of cramping - has this happened to anyone else especially the cramping and everything been okay? Terrified to mc again 😢

Hi everyone… firstly congrats and best of luck to you all ✨💭 I’m looking for a little support and think this will be the best place to find it! I’m currently 17weeks after a previous MMC in April at 10/11 weeks that had happened at around 7 weeks but no physical signs. I had seen a heartbeat at 6w4d at an early scan due to some confusing dates so it was a real shock, I just didn’t “feel pregnant” so panic booked a scan and it was confirmed that way. To be honest I don’t think I’ve dealt with the loss… just desperately wanted to be pregnant again but now I am absolutely riddled with anxiety and feel like my partner doesn’t understand my worries. He doesn’t understand why I panic about having no symptoms and not seeing a bump… and makes me feel guilty for not being excited. He’s also got a 10yo from previous so has “done it all before” (my feelings not his)

Sorry for the rant. Just hoping for some clarity, should I be dealing with this differently? Feel very alone at the moment.

Hi @Gem2992 it’s completely normal to feel the way you do and unfortunately I don’t think our partners can really understand how we feel. In my opinion even the most supporting and caring person does not really understand our worries unless they have been through it themselves physically and emotionally.

If it can make you feel any better, I am 18w3d and I don’t have a bump (I just look bloated) and I cannot feel any flutters or movements yet. Extra scans are helping me to stay sane, I know these are not affordable for everyone and some people do not find them helpful, but I had 5 so far in my pregnancy and they definitely helped me to ease my anxiety and worries.

My husband told so many of our friends and other people we know about our baby and I have been contacted by a lot of them this week to congratulate me and I just feel so uneasy! I keep thinking that it’s great that I made it till this point but baby is not here yet and I don’t really want to talk about my pregnancy with other people. My husband thinks I should feel more relaxed now and enjoy my pregnancy, but after a MC I find it impossible!

You can always come here for support or contact one of the charities dealing with pregnancy after loss for counselling and advice. xx

@Gem2992 I reiterate what @Greenluce has said, it's never easy after a MC. I had a MC in February thought i would have been 12 weeks but baby stopped developing at 5weeks but didn't know. I'm 24 weeks on Friday and still get anxious now. I've had 4 private scans plus my NHS ones and still feel like I want to book another for reassurance as always worry something is going to happen. I have started feeling movements/popping kicks if you know what I mean so that reassures me she is ok but when I don't feel anything I start to panic. I'm sure you will be fine just take each day as it comes and if you can have a private scan for reassurance then you should go for it x

@Greenluce @wag1987 thank you so much for your lovely replies. It’s such a relief to speak to people who understand and not feel so alone! It’s very easy to convince yourself you’re overreacting/overthinking. I’d love to be carefree and excited but I don’t trust my body and find the lack of control quite disconcerting! (Not a control freak, honest!)
It’s so difficult to explain to those who haven’t been through it… pregnancy is often seen as this magical bubble of excitement when for many of us it’s 9 months of anxiety.

I have had a few scans so far including gender scan, I’ve also been lucky enough to get videos from those scans and being able to look back on movement has really helped me develop more of a connection and eased some anxious moments. I don’t think you can underestimate how much we need the reassurance from those extra scans. @Greenluce I’m so glad you can talk on here too if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your friends and family about your pregnancy, I’ve often felt as if I can’t talk about any excitement I do feel because then going back to my normal anxious state is confusing for people but I’m so glad I came on here today! Xx

Hey ladies, been very quiet on here recently and just want to make sure everyone is ok

How are you doing @wag1987?

I've been a bit quiet as I was exactly the same number of weeks/days as a previous poster who then had a MMC so I felt awful that we were doing ok.

I'm 19 weeks now, and I think I'm finally starting to relax a tiny bit - next weeks scan is the first I'm more excited than nervous about.

Hi ladies,

How are you all doing? I had my 20 week scan and baby is looking well and we found out we're having a boy.

Unfortunately I have a low lying placenta, which it is partially covering my cervix therefore I have been offered growth scans in my third trimester and be advised to rest as much as I can and avoid exercise and sex.
I am trying to stay positive and think that everything will go well and that I will just get to see my baby more often.

I wanted to ask a question to those of you who are further along (@wag1987 @AlbiMix) when did you start to understand your baby's pattern of movements?

I am 22 weeks and I have started to feel movements a few weeks ago, but they are always quite random, mainly in the evening after dinner, sometimes in the afternoon. I am unsure if this is something I should start tracking now or if it's more important in the third trimester.

@Gemster19 when is your scan this week? Hope all goes well. You finding out what you are having?

Congratulations @Greenluce for baby boy :) sorry to hear you have to have growth scans but as you said positives you will be seen more and get to see baby more in third trimester.

To be honest surrounding movements I'm always wondering the same I'm 28weeks this week and I swear my midwife said monitor from 28weeks onwards as before then it's very hard to gauge as they are still small and can be sporadic anyway. My movements are usually after eating and evening time too and sometimes early hours of the morning she thinks it's party time