Gender discrimination

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I know the title sounds very forward, but it can only be described as this, but why do a lot of women feel disappointed if they are having a boy? Don’t get me wrong, once you have you’re baby, I’m sure you will show them the love and affection regardless of gender, but I find a lot of women almost discriminate against having a boy and feel a sense of disappointment when they realise they are not having a girl. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I have ever seen an article on here where someone is hoping they have a boy, it’s always a girl. Whilst I understand the concept of it, in the sense of wanting that mummy/daughter relationship, but I also find it a little unfair on boys who get quite a hard time when it comes to pregnancy. Just my thoughts.

It’s fucking irritating as a mum of boys when people ask me if I’m going to ‘try for a girl’ as if my boys are the consolation prize. I don’t want three children, it doesn’t matter what sex they are.

Also I just find it sad when women on these threads are disappointed they haven’t got a girl to dress up and go on spa days with. Is that really all you hope for? Is that really all the expectations we have for our daughters?

FWIW I hate shopping with anyone.

@ZombieAttack @Turtleturtle81 my daughter will be a baby, when she grows she can choose but until then I will enjoy choosing.

I cried and wanted an abortion the first time I found out I was having a boy. Now he’s 7 and I absolutely love him to bits. This time round, I was disappointed that I’m having another boy as I’d have liked one of each, but also happy as my first wanted a little brother

@rayofsunshine2013 I really hope you're trolling. You wanted an abortion?! If that's a genuine post I'm actually speechless

I really didnt mind what I was having and was convinced I was having boys but ended up having girls (twins).

I am so surprised by the amount of people who said 'oh its a shame it wasnt one of each' or 'give it a few years and you can try for that boy' or 'shame you didnt give your husband a boy'?! They dont believe me when I say that I wont be having anymore children- and that is only down to the fact that i absolutely hated pregnancy and never want to go through it again.

My husband couldn't be happier with two daughters and is very much looking forward to doing any activity with them whether that be baking, dancing, football, karate. Whatever.

[quote Tucancrossing]@rayofsunshine2013 I really hope you're trolling. You wanted an abortion?! If that's a genuine post I'm actually speechless[/quote]
Yes, genuinely. As soon as he was born that changed, but that’s how I felt at the time, and not something I could help. This time round I was mildly disappointed but expect to feel exactly the same as last time as soon as he’s born.

At the time I felt I couldn’t express my disappointment, purely because of people like you, but I was genuinely gutted.

At the time I felt I couldn’t express my disappointment, purely because of people like you

To be fair, most people would be shocked that you'd want to abort your child because they didn't have the right kind of piss hole .

@BrumBoo

At the time I felt I couldn’t express my disappointment, purely because of people like you

To be fair, most people would be shocked that you'd want to abort your child because they didn't have the right kind of piss hole .

Yeah, and I get that now it sounds absolutely ridiculous but at the time that’s how I felt..

People are allowed to be disappointed by the gender, even if it upsets Donna who miscarried at 4 weeks. When the baby arrives, it more than likely won’t matter whether it’s a boy or a girl

Isn't it just that women want a daughter and men want a son? Obviously not always but I think that's the stereotype. I think as well usually the stories when the woman is disappointed is when she already has one or two sons and wanted a daughter.

I was the opposite I felt I wanted a son in the beginning. Now I'm fine with any. I just was thinking life can be really hard on teenage girls and I thought a boy might be easier to deal with during the teenage years. Obviously, everyone's different but those were my thoughts.

@justanotherneighinparadise well i'm not that hard thinking, you were wrong. I would not cry if I had a son, I would be excited to be pregnant. If I had the choice I would choose a girl. I would hope in the future you could be less judgemental.

[quote pluckywormfish]@justanotherneighinparadise well i'm not that hard thinking, you were wrong. I would not cry if I had a son, I would be excited to be pregnant. If I had the choice I would choose a girl. I would hope in the future you could be less judgemental.[/quote]
This. Having a preference is fine and I’m sure a lot of mums/Dads have a preference initially at the start, but say you were thinking of an abortion because it’s a boy ? Jesus, I think you need help love.

@pluckywormfish, I wasn’t referring to you by the way.

I think the bottom line is gender disappointment is a real thing - there are whole websites and forums dedicated to it. Whether you believe it’s ridiculous or not is up tk you - but also bear in mind these people are pregnant with a body full of hormones and probably not at their most rational. Just because their feelings aren’t the same as you react doesn’t mean their feelings aren’t real - so you can discuss how ridiculous it is all you like from your pedestal.
I think a PP said - what matters is how people treat the kids once born. 99.9% of people with gender disappointment will love their child from the second they’re born and never wish they are anything else - which is what matters.
What is absolutely NOT ok is if the child is ever treated differently or loved less, or ever knows they weren’t wanted.

I just found out today we're having another baby girl in April!! I wouldn't have minded either way. It now feels more real that we know who our little person is. So excited 💖

People should be talking about SEX disappointment not gender.

@OverTheRainbow88

People should be talking about SEX disappointment not gender.

I know. It is exhausting. Unfortunately, until parents hit the teenage years they have no idea how damaging and dangerous this conflation of the words sex and gender is to their children.

I had a preference for a girl, which I felt honestly ashamed of, because it should not matter. It wasn't about girly things, dressing them up, pink etc - I'm not like that myself. I think it was because I felt I could relate to a girl more in some ways. I also have a close relationship with my mum and I think I envisioned recreating this relationship with my daughter. I completely understand that there is no guarantee my daughter will want that relationship with me. But I think it might be something about mothers seeing themselves more in daughters or having a stronger idea of what a mother/daughter relationship might be like. A boy felt more unknown.

I have three boys and I'm pregnant with my 4th child (7th pregnancy) and I'm not looking forward to all the stupid comments I'm going to get about "Ooooh I bet you want a girl this time" blah blah. I've lost babies. I just want a healthy, happy baby- and that's the reply anyone making a daft comment will get. I think my three boys are the bees knees, two of them are teenagers now and haven't even gone off the rails (yet lol) and my youngest is the most loving and considerate kid I've ever met- to his parents....not so much to his brothers lol they are all really boyish boys, badgering each other, playfighting etc, but nothing scary thank goodness.

I could never wish for one sex over the other, but I KNOW I'll get dumbass comments when people notice my pregnancy, which thanks to covid hasn't happened yet, and given the time of year maybe no one will notice as my coat will hide even a large bump, and I'm a private person so haven't announced anything on social media. I'll be delighted with whichever this baby is, and we aren't going to find out til birth (unless someone is a little show off at the 20 week scan!)

I've only ever seen a couple of posts anywhere where the poster was having a girl but would have preferred a boy, mostly it is disappointment over not getting a girl. I'll never really understand it, but to each their own feelings. I've only ever really imagined myself having boys, and I think of myself as a mother of sons, but if this baby is a girl then I'll still be a mother of sons, and a daughter too!

I have two younger brothers and I remember my mum being a bit sad after they were born- NOT because they were boys but because my grandma was saying "Oh it's a shame you didn't have another girl." Ridiculous!

@ThisMammaCat , totally agree. Women tend to have this preference for girls and get disappointed and upset when they are having a boy instead, it’s utterly ridiculous. I would say a lot of men are happy either way. If daughter they can have that Daddy/daughter relationship. If a son, it’s that typical Dad/Son relationship. Most men are happy either way. Shame a lot of mothers tend to crave a daughter so passionately, to the point they get upset when they are having a boy. No sympathy for them whatsoever sorry. Loads of women can’t have babies whatsoever and others have miscarriage after miscarriage, then you got some self centred mother crying because she is having a son instead of a daughter. People telling me “it’s a thing” are just making excuses for it, get over yourself. It’s ridiculous behaviour.

OP with all respect you’ve made you point numerous time and now you’re getting quite rude.

Calm down

I agree with the above post.

Op you've had your say, this thread is starting to go round in circles.

This thread has been a train wreck from the start. Just an opportunity for some posters to bitch and judge other people and feel high and mighty.

I agree - OP you’re adding nothing new just repeating your same point