Late October Babies 2020 - Thread 5

[DressingGown87]

Thread 5 ladies!

Girls: @DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 (twins) @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants Uppsydaisy (Girl twin)

Boys: @sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 (Boy twin) @Samk93

Surprise / Waiting
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

If I have missed you! Sorry! I did quickly scan through the start of the last thread, to add people and update the list, but only did this quick.

This morning I am filled with a primal urge to prepare everything for the baby as a matter of URGENCY! Can't explain it beyond hormones and instinct. Isofix going in the car today and next to me crib being built!! Hospital bags are being prepared!

@CurlyMummy1912 I'm due on the 26th of October. I've done about 90% of my hospital bag packing, just need chargers and a couple of clothes for me to go in nearer the time and of course a bag of food as i've not heard the best things about hospital food.

Apart from doing a test run with the steriliser and cooking some more meals to go in the freezer, I've already done everything I wanted to sort before my due date.

Having one of those days today. Feel like I keep googling the same ‘is it normal to feel like this during pregnancy’ every week. I’ve never really struggled with my mental health for any part of my 24 years but this pregnancy is really taking it out of me 😫
I’ve got it in my head that my DP isn’t interested in me anymore, and have the same thoughts constantly about a girl that he’s working with. I know in my gut that nothing is going on, he hardly has time for anything other than work let alone having any sort of affair but I still can’t get it out of my head. You know when you just compare yourself to those skinny pretty girls dressed up for work and all cheery and I’m sat at home, hardly wear make up anymore, big pregnancy belly, swollen and miserable?

We came to blows on Friday because I tried to explain how I’m feeling and he’s taken it as an accusation. I think working from home and being on my own for 13/14 hours a day is really starting to just make me feel very lonely.

I guess I’m not really looking for advice, just don’t know if feeling so insecure and sh*t is normal or something I should be mentioning to the midwife.

@FirstSurprise001 If it's the main thing you're anxious about rather than anything else on top then I think it could be part of being hormonal and pregnant rather than something to talk over with the midwife, although of course you could.

I do occasionally look in the mirror and feel massive, I have put on over 2 stone at this point and keep finding more stretch marks, i m just trying to be kind to myself and accepting that even if I lose all the pregnancy weight i probably won't have size 8 hips again.

Being on your own for that much of the day would understandably get to you, I've been off on annual leave and then maternity leave now for over a month but DH is still working from home so the lonlienss isn't so bad and I've not seen anyone in person in about 5 months now, do you have any friends who are pregnant/ have kids that you can talk to whilst he's at work?

@FirstSurprise001

Yes. Feeling ALL the insecurity here too!! I came up with a new strategy today though. Rather than tell him how I'm feeling or what I needed I just went and made him laugh. No idea why I decided to do it but I just arsed about and it brought a big smile to his face and I got the attention I was craving. It made us both feel better and broke any tension. Worth a shot? Xx

@1990shopefulftm unfortunately not, most of my friends are still very much in the party stage of their life. I’m thinking about trying to find some other mums in the area, especially once I’m on maternity leave because I think I’m just going to go crazy. Thank you for your kind words though. I hate to be the moaner all the time and it’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one feeling the way I do about looking different.

@CurlyMummy1912 definitely worth a shot. Will be one to try when he comes home from work tonight! I just like I’ve got really boring during pregnancy but then also need to remember that Covid has made everyone pretty boring because it’s not like you can do the spontaneous trips anymore is it 😂

@FirstSurprise001
Sorry to hear you are feeling so crappy. I'd say it's normal to feel insecure right now, our hormones are all over the place and we are preparing for a huge life change! I find myself being totally unreasonable to my husband sometimes and getting upset and bawling my eyes out for no reason in particular. Plus being at home so much by yourself must be isolating. Can you do something fun together one evening or at the weekend? I always find that spending some quality time together lifts my mood. We haven't been out much but we've done things like the online quizzes and escape rooms together.
If you want to mention how you feel the the midwife then it won't do any harm, especially if you are feeling particularly down. That's part of what they are there for and having someone to talk to is always helpful. And remember that we are always here for you too! You can always feel free to pm me even if just for a rant and moan to help you feel better.

@FirstSurprise001 Ah I understand, my friends are far from party people but I'm the first one to be having a baby of the group. Hopefully, mum and baby groups might be available soon.

@LadyB90 thank you! It’s good to get other people’s perspectives on it because I never know if I’m being unreasonable with him or not sometimes. I think part of the reason I feel so down today is because I was planning a night away this week but for one reason or another he now has to work so we can’t go. It was just nice to have something planned together and I’m a little disappointed it’s not happening. I’m sure it’ll pass but thank you for listening ❤️

I'm really really struggling physically, SPD really sucks.

I've not got too much to do prep-wise. We've an amazon list ready to press the button on (just waiting on the recycling to be collected this week for the next influx of cardboard boxes hahaha).

I'm going to place a superdrug order today or some toiletries etc. and then start thinking about batch cooking. Although I am tempted to just order a load of M&S ready meals!!

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt Sorry to hear that you're struggling. Superdrug had an offer on baby wipes maternity pads and breast pads last month, so I ordered loads of them and some of their own brand baby oil and washes.

I've batch cooked 5 meals, I keep getting hot flushes when I'm stood by the hob so I'm trying to do more next week on cold days once I've emptied the freezer a bit more. Really need to stick to our budget an avoid takeaways.

@SamK93 I was thinking exactly the same about @DressingGown87 earlier today, how funny. Hope she's okay!

@FirstSurprise001 Sorry you're feeling this way. I think its totally normal to feel insecure/ emotional/ lonely at this stage of our pregnancy.
I also understand about your friends being in different stages of their life. I'm 30 so older than you, but still the first of my friends to have a baby. It is very disconcerting :(

@1990shopefulftm You're so organised with your meal prepping, go you! How are you feeling otherwise?

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt Sorry to hear you're struggling. I have quite achey hips and pelvis generally, and I am extremely clicky everytime I get up. Nights are the worst as turning over from one side to the other is agony. I can't wait to be able to sleep on my back again! Sending you all the solidarity

@KitKatKit
@SamK93
I was also thinking the same thing and hoping that @DressingGown87 is okay.
Definitely with you on the rolling in bed front, feel like lying on back or tummy will be bliss when we are finally able to do it!

I feel like I’m having a mini breakdown this week. I’m having a new bathroom fitted as mine doesn’t have a bath so we can’t stay at home as there’ll be no toilet all week! I feel like we’re living out of bags!
My bedside crib was supposed to come today but there’s a stocking issue so they’ve said Friday at the earliest! The baby’s room just looks like a bomb has gone off with all her stuff and then lots of bathroom stuff. I’m desperate to decorate it before the furniture comes at the end of the month!
Last but not least, there’s a huge tea stain on the living room wall that was there when we moved in but has got darker over the summer with the sun shining in on it. I’m so anxious to paint over it so the midwife/health visitor doesn’t come and think we throw cups of tea at each other! I was so so relieved to go to work this morning to take my mind off everything that needs doing in the house!!!
I know it’ll all pass once we can get back in the house at the weekend but it just felt so overwhelming this morning!

Hey ladies! Just catching up. @SamK93 @KitKatKit @ladyb90 I’m ok thank you, low iron, acid reflux, sickness, loosing weight, knackered, and struggling with MH. How are you all?

Been working loads, my boss has inputted my MAT leave wrong so not due to start until I’m 38 weeks, the day before my induction. Can’t change it either, as he’s submitted my payrol to HMRC for the rest of the financial year (why I don’t know) Which has stressed me out. Also work for myself as an architect, so have been busy submitting planning applications! 12 down / 15 to go!!

I also feel like I’ve no more room to grow. It’s making my injections twice a day so hard, as they can’t pinch the skin around my bump. She constantly feels like she is trying to escape and beating me from the inside.

@60sPony I’m blood group A, and my midwife said that too.

@LadyB90 I don’t think I’ve ever felt her hiccup. Hope you feel more reassured now.

@1990shopefulftm you seem very organised with the batch cooking. I can’t eat reheated meals, don’t know why, but I just don’t like the taste. Same with pot noddles, pre packed sandwiches etc. Hope she’s not as fussy as me 🙈

@FirstSurprise001 how you feel is completely understandable, hope your ok. I keep thinking am I going to be single forever. How am I ever going to meet anyone. So I’m just in a right crappy place, and feeling insecure, plus living alone and being alone ALL the time is driving me insane, can’t even see friends because of local lockdown, so I just sit and watch my friends date, go out, get in relationships. Hope you manage to speak to your DP? Agree meeting some mums might help, going on walks, getting out the house too. Hope you can plan something else before the baby comes. Hormones are strange things.

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt sorry to see your struggling. Have you had a physio referral?

@Sls668 that’s sounds tough, and I can empathise as I flipped my bathroom / house upside down a few months back. Hopefully it will be over soon, and it will all be worth it. I’m sure the HV won’t mind about the tea stain. Deep breaths.

@KitkatKit for lack of a better term, I feel like a whale and it's getting pretty hard to walk and sleep but fortunately I m on mat leave so don't have to worry about doing much. Yes turning over is difficult in bed, so I feel your pain, I hold onto the headboard to do it.

@DressingGown87 that's awful that your boss messed up your mat leave and that HMRC can't change it. Reheat food does change the texture a bit so it's understandable , I put extra seasoning in to make up for it.

@DressingGown87 here she is!! I was also getting worried! Feel sometimes like your the mum of the group (in a good way)!

Sucks that your boss has messed up your mat leave, sounds like you need a rest let alone working so close to having the little one! I hope you’re managing to get plenty of you time on weekends at least!

@DressingGown87 Sending hugs, it sounds like you've had a bad few days. I'm pretty sure with the mat leave problem that you can change when you take it, regardless of what your boss has done re HMRC - that's kind of his problem not yours anyway. If you were to go into labour early or take sick leave in the final 4 weeks for example it would start earlier anyway, so definitely can be changed. I went into labour with my first the day after I finished work and from experience can say it was not at all ideal! If you need any help finding out anything just ask x

@Flora20 Thank you. For some reason he has filed my wages for the next 7 months in order to calculate my tax, NI, pension contributions. Then submitted the claim for my SMP after these deductions. And set up the payments with the bank. All very organised, but has started my MAT leave at a later date as a result to fit in with pay periods. I think after my breakdown on Friday, he has agreed to let me just be off on full pay for 1/2 weeks beforehand.

@1990shopefulftm that sounds good. I think it’s just my rubbish relationship with food / cooking.

@FirstSurprise001 thank you! Hoping local lockdown is lifted soon, so I can spend some time with friends.

Hope everyone is doing ok? Those who where suffering with sickness how you coping? Mine seems to be worse between 2am-5am 😭

Currently on labour suite getting checked over. Waters leaked this afternoon so having various tests to see if I can go home or not. Waiting on a doctor now...

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt I've got everything crossed for you! Hope you will get some answers soon.
When did you notice your waters leak?

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt hope everything is ok, fingers crossed for you!

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt sending best wishes, hope everything is ok! 💛let us know how you get on x