Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

@frazzlerock 😂😂😂🙈 I am so glad I had a quick scan and saw the auto correct rather than just leaving that hanging out there. 😂

@realladymarmalade that is great you know about PDA. Think it is slowly making itself known. Like you say the school kepp focussing on what would normally work for someone with ASD e.g. routine, visual timetables etc and they are total demands to PDA. I think mum's get a bad wrap as someone a bit nuts as they have over googled who should be ignored 🙄. My son was in a part time specialist unit for a bit. He had been trying to understand his autism as (mainly because of what teachers said to him) he thought he was being bad. I explained PDA to him. In school he told the head of the unit about it and quite proudly and she told him it didn't exist!!!!🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. After doing a subject access request I found a transcript of a phone call where she told the Ed Psych that he didn't need a place at their unit as his problem was he was intentionally using his autism as an excuse not to do work. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. This from the head of an autism unit!

I am on aspiring and will get clexane from 28 weeks. In scotland they had flags for pre-eclampsia risk and I ticked 3 moderate ones. Think when you tick 2 or one high risk one you would get them. The moderate risk were age, high BMI, 10 year gap between pregnancies (those were mine). Also history of pre-eclampsia in previous pregnancies. Think the high risk were things like diabetes and auto immune disorders but I might be getting mixed up with covid 19😁.

@clarke1 I had cramping on and off before 13 weeks. It is impossible not to think the worst at that stage and every twinge is a panic. I think the worry will stay until your scan as it did for me. Good it is on Monday and not later in the week. My appointments all seem to run a week later than they should too. I still panic and have my scan for 20 weeks (@21 weeks) a week tomorrow.

Hi all,

I'm on lose dose asprin until 36 weeks. Originaly took it until 7 weeks as part of IVF protocol then restarted at 12 weeks on the advice of the consiltant as it prevents clots forming in the placenta for us oldies.

I just looked at our baby books for the DS's and I could see movements by 19 weeks with them. FFS I wish this baby would give me a good boot now and again rather than the wishy washy "is it, or isn't it" flutters.

My friend keeps suggesting I buy a doppler and then DP's SIL said I should get one. I'm trying not to as I know I will freak the fuck out if I don't pick up the heartbeat. But then the midwife picked it up immediately when she did it.
Should I....??? Or not worth it now? Surely I will get some big kicks soon? My tummy is so huge so baby must be growing in there so I can't understand why over the past 3 weeks the supposed movements I'm feeling (rarely) haven't become stronger

@Frazzle it's sooo tempting isn't it but I just think it would ramp up my anxiety and send me into a tailspin.

@Frazzlerock stop panicking! Having said I was getting movement everyday I didn't get any yesterday that I felt!!

Its just so frustrating. How can I have seen movement in my 1st and 2nd pregnancies and can barely feel anything in this one? I just don't get it. Plus this baby has been a proper wriggler on scans so where is he/she hiding? It must have found some deep dark hole somewhere where I have no feelings at all. I should stop worrying really, especially after hearing a lovely strong heartbeat last week.

@Sheera1 Hope your scan has gone well today. A big milestone.

Frazzle I was given a doppler for free but it is crap. I found the heartbeat once and haven't managed again. I think the midwife ones are the real deal and ones we can buy are rubbish. I think it would make anxiety worse although it hasn't for me. I can feel wee kicks but they are sporadic. I am sure you will feel them more defined soon. I am hoping after the scan next Friday I will relax a bit more.

Someone asked earlier on about how ASD kids were taking the news. I haven't told mine yet. He is hyper emphatic and if there is something at the anomaly scan that ends this he would be distraught. I was going to tell him earlier but my screening results took so long to come back we were not far away from the scan anyway.

Anyone else put on loads of weight recently? At the start I was living off cake and takeaways as I couldn't eat anything else. I only put on 2 pounds despite eating really bad things. I then ate sensibly and no weight on. Now I am back to being nauseous and full so eating way less than normal and I have put on 5 pounds in the last week! Maybe I should go back to takeaway! I am eating 2 poached eggs for breakfast, one sandwich for lunch with light mayo, cucumber and ham and then a baked potato with tuna and salad for tea again with light mayo. Strawberries and two nectarines. If I ate that normally I would be losing 5 pounds a week!

@Sheera1 I've put on half a stone in the past 5 or so weeks. Before that I stayed the same weight. I really don't want to gain too much this time, I put on 3 stone with each of the boys. It dropped off pretty quickly and most of that was baby/water/placenta etc but I was 11 and 15 years younger then so it would have been easier to lose, and I really don't want to be a wobbly bride 4 months later! I love my dress and if I can't fit into it I will be really upset.
It doesn't look like you're eating anymore than you should be, looks very healthy to me! But I think our bodies naturally cling onto weight for far stores to look after the baby. BTW, I'm eating way more than you
My average is:
Breakfast: 1 Weetabix and milk and a piece of fruit (used to have two but I'm avoiding that horrid full feeling)
10am-ish: bread and butter with marmite
Lunch: half a ham and cucumber sarnie laden with salad cream and butter and a bag of crisps
Mid afternoon: bread and butter with marmite again and a piece of fruit
Dinner: Whatever we're having as a family. Tonight will be sausages and mash with a veg of some kind, and I will prob only eat half of it. Then I will eat chocolate I'm on the After Eights lately as DP bought me a massive commercial sized box for my birthday.
I deserve to be 20 stone!

With you on the wedding dresses! I had lost 2.5 stone before I was pregnant and so don't want to out it back on.

I plan to go out walking lots once baby is here and ear healthily but I know I will stall and then panic. I had just about fitted into my dress! We will need to motivate each other post birth! Xx

@Sheera1 I was going to ask you when your wedding is, I can't remember.
I used to run loads but haven't moved a muscle since all my bleeding started so feel really out of shape. I was doing PE with Joe with the boys every morning until that point as I wanted to stay fit this pregnancy. I was even planning on running gently once I reached my 12 week scan but I just couldn't risk anything with the haematoma. So I'm worried it will take me a while to get my fitness back, plus I can't do anything for 6 weeks after the section so I have already lost all that time post birth. Luckily my dress has an elasticated waistband but I don't know how far it will stretch if I still have a big tummy by then.
But yes I am up for some motivation post birth

I'd lost a stone ore pregnancy and now I've put 8lb on already in 12 weeks. We can be good after the baby is here. Right now I need to eat whenever I need to eat... roughly ever 2 hours

Thanks ladies, slight bleeding again has started only again on wiping, this pregnancy is testing me to the hilt bled at 6 8 10 and now 12 weeks! Pain is sore again it's just like a repeating pattern and I'm scared to call epu as I know they'll say wait till your scan Monday 😞

@Clarkel1 remind me, was it a haematoma they found? Or was it something else causing the bleeding?

Yes at 10+4 they said there was a small heamatoma and a fibroid so they'll just keep an eye and look at it at dating scan so that's not until Monday, the bleeding isn't so bad but it's the cramps they are painful. 😞 I actually know now when a bleed is coming I can feel the pains they are different from the usual stretching ones ... so that in turns kicked of a headache as I've been up most of the night and anxiety now till Monday till I see on scan that all ok, I called epu and as thought said wait till Monday 😞

Ah yes I remember now. If it is of any help, my haematoma was gone at my last scan at 17 weeks. I think I stopped bleeding at about 14 weeks. But mine was pretty big. I don't know about fibroids I'm afraid.

I do know the panic when bleeding though. Even though I knew it was the haematoma, it still really worried me. Mostly because of the volume of blood, it was literally pouring out of me, I've never even had a period that heavy. Very scary . But the good news is they are more often than not harmless and usually resolve themselves which mine did eventually. I'm still massively paranoid though!
Do you have the number for a midwife? Maybe they can help you with your anxiety, or maybe even refer you to the EPU/Emergnecy gynae if you're not coping with it and they're not listening to you.

@Frazzlerock thank you yes it is very scary 😞 it's the cramping that's the worst I feel it is almost like early labour😞 I am hoping that they'll look at it a bit more on Monday at my dating scan if I've not worked my way up to the epu by then 😩

@Clarkel1 can you ring epu again first thing and beg. See if they have a cancellation or anything.

There's no point they'll not do anything ...even if there was anything at 13 weeks what can they do?? It's a horrible limbo feeling so down always worrying and feeling like a bag of sh&t 😞 mum guilt kicks in that I'm not doing things with my little girl also because I feel hellish most days ... fast forward till Jan please. X

@Clarkel1 I think we can virtually all on this thread say we know exactly what you mean!! And if it's any consolation I've only just, in the last two/days managed to do anything like I'd normally do and I'm 19+2 today!! And yes....I'd like to fast forward to November please!! I'd love to enjoy this pregnancy but it's not going to happen...the anxiety is all consuming sometimes and even when it's not it's in the background.

@Clarkel1 I feel guilt everyday about not doing things with my two year old. I'm wiped out and so nauseous I feel like a wreck.

Things will get better for us.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 @footprintsintheslow thanks ladies makes me feel better I really am struggling my little girl said today I just want my old mummy back 😞 today the stomach pain been so sore I haven't been able to even think straight. I'm stressing about Mondays scan I hope alls ok it's just a worry all the time xx

Morning all.

@Clarkel1 how are you feeling today?

I've found this gorgeous baby brand and bought a few bits:

www.babybambi.co.uk/collections/all

Just bought 3 knitted ribbed jumpsuits (they have some great unisex colours) and the teddy bear cuddle one piece. I could have bought most of the shop TBH

@Frazzlerock love those jumpsuits!! How are the movements going? I bet your baby is just going to be super laid back and gentle!! My second started moving so I could feel it at 15 weeks and has never stopped!! He crawled at 5 months, walked unaided at 9 months and I found him in the dining room table at 10months! He's now nearly 18 and paces a room when talking (pretty incessantly 🤣) rather than standing still! Number 4 wasn't so active and didn't walk until 15 months and he's still super laid back at almost 14.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I got a bit of subtle poking low down yesterday evening. But I would have missed it if I hadn't been concentrating. I hope you're right about having a laid back baby. As I say, I felt my two boys earlier. Neither of them are particularly fidgety or active (though both love sports). One walked at 11 months, the other not until he was 14 months. I am hoping this one has just buried him/herself quite deep! Though it is interesting what you say about your DC!