Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

Hi everyone,

I’ve added myself on to the list. I’m 10+5 and feel like my afternoon nausea is finally starting to subside. I had a scan this week and was overjoyed to see an active baby having a good stretch and kick. This is my first and I feel in no way prepared for what is coming. I guess I’ll just take it as it comes and figure it all out along the way!

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

I was wondering if anyone could recommend a decent non-wired bra that's comfortable for pregnancy? I'm 32DD and usually find the bralets just don't hold me very well.
I'm finding the wired ones quite uncomfortable now.

Hi ladies thanks, pain subsided quite a good bit, @onlyreadingneverposting8 yes that was mentioned but I didn't know if that could be as painful as Ive experiences I had a discectomy spinal surgery couple years back so I have bad back pain so I'm used to pain... and this was defo painful 😂 here's hoping it is round ligament but oh my god if it is it's a fecking bugger 🙀 still can't go to the loo... I am going to drink a bottle of latulose I think 🤢🤢🤢 hows everyone today?

Hi ladies thanks, pain subsided quite a good bit, @onlyreadingneverposting8 yes that was mentioned but I didn't know if that could be as painful as Ive experiences I had a discectomy spinal surgery couple years back so I have bad back pain so I'm used to pain... and this was defo painful 😂 here's hoping it is round ligament but oh my god if it is it's a fecking bugger 🙀 still can't go to the loo... I am going to drink a bottle of latulose I think 🤢🤢🤢 hows everyone today?

Hi ladies thanks, pain subsided quite a good bit, @onlyreadingneverposting8 yes that was mentioned but I didn't know if that could be as painful as Ive experiences I had a discectomy spinal surgery couple years back so I have bad back pain so I'm used to pain... and this was defo painful 😂 here's hoping it is round ligament but oh my god if it is it's a fecking bugger still can't go to the loo... I am going to drink a bottle of latulose I think 🤢🤢hows everyone today?

@Clarkel1 great to hear your pain has decreased! I can vouch for round ligament pain being really very very painful!

After a few days of feeling a bit better and therefore, probably over doing it I ended up feeling awful and being sick again last night. Nausea is pretty constant again today too 😕 I am desperate to eat food that has flavour and isn't just bread but when I do I seem to be more nauseous and sometimes sick too. Sorry for the moaning 😳 I am definitely willing to put up with it all for the sake of this baby coming into the world!!

Welcome to the new comers! Can't believe we've got due date on the thread for the end of January it doesn't seem possible!! I've lost the last 4 months in a blur of lockdown and nausea!! 🤣😲

Thanks everyone how do I add myself to the list

@Clarkel1 lactulose will do the trick ✌🏽

@Dia12 I’ve just bought one from figleaves that is really nice and slightly more supportive than the usual non wired - it’s more like a Lacey bra tank top - that description doesn’t do it justice 😂

@Baileys123 scroll back and find the latest list and then copy and paste it as a comment. then add yourself in chronological order before you post it.

Hi @Dia12 I recommend Bravissimo sleep bras, they're a bit pricey but mine have lasted really well, I've had them since before I was pregnant and they've been a boob saver!

I love my bravissimo sleep bra. I am an H cuo and it is actually pretty supportive for a non wired.

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Kiffers 42, due 01.01.21 - first child
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

Hi there, I'm new to ALL of this. I am 42 years old and 14 ish weeks pregnant. I don't use any kind of social media usually but thought I would join this chat.
I hope what I say here does not offend anyone. I never wanted to have children and am still not completely sure. I read the things people say and the things they are all doing and still wonder if motherhood is right for me. I don't have any clue about children and what to expect. I am dreading the ongoing pregnancy and I feel bad using the word disgust but that is how I feel when I think of the birth and breastfeeding and all that. I feel very sad that I don't feel more joy and enthusiasm at the moment. I have a very supportive partner who I know will be a great dad but I still just feel hugely anxious about the future and whether I am cut out to be a mum. The couple of people I have spoken to have said these feelings are normal. I am really looking forward to when the baby is a bit bigger - all that milk and sore breast stuff literally is turning my stomach. On a good day, I think I will be a good enough mum but on bad days, and I feel awful saying this, I wish I could turn back the clock and none of this would be happening.
I see other mums getting all excited about painting nurseries and baby monitors and the like and all it makes me think is "shit, I didn't think of THAT - more crap to buy and to fill the oceans with once it's been used".
I don't feel any concern when I feel twinges or feel sick. Maybe I should worry more?
On the plus side, when I went for the scan and saw it for the first time, I did feel some kind of primitive surge of some strange feeling which wasn't unpleasant. I am hoping this is a good sign and that the maternal instinct will beat all the other existential angst I feel the rest of the time.
I am sorry if this post is a downer. I do feel genuine delight for you women out there who are clearly over the moon about being pregnant - the very best of luck to you all.
Thanks for reading.
K

Hi @Kiffers congrats and welcome 🥰. I’m 46 and 10+2 weeks and also feel shocked and a bit numb although I have three dc already so not quite the same position. Give yourself time, I never really went in for buying all the stuff and just made do but I do love being a mum, I’m sure you’ll feel the same in time and it is all rather overwhelming at the start.

Love your honesty@Kiffers and welcome to the thread. It's early days and hormones will kick in and make you feel all sorts good and bad.
I'm a bare minimum buyer of baby stuff. They actually need very little so buy some clothes and nappies and wait to see what you need. With amazon prime you can get it things almost instantly when you think you need something. Certainly don't bother yourself about monitors for now. Some people don't even have bother with a pram. You'll find your way and it'll be fine for you and your family.

Hi everyone, just popping in to say good luck for today @Clarkel1

Welcome to the newcomers!

@Kiffers don’t be too hard on yourself. I desperately wanted to be pregnant and tried for a long time, I’ve always known I wanted to be a mum. I’m thrilled and grateful it finally happened. I still get moments, if not full days, of thinking ‘shit, actually, I didn’t mean it, I actually loved my life before, why was I so determined to do this?’ So if you were always more ambivalent I can imagine those feelings are even stronger.

I feel very freaked out by breastfeeding too. I want to try I think, but I can’t tell you how much I secretly hate the idea. It’s not compulsory though, you’ll be told constantly that breast is best but plenty of people choose to formula feed from day 1 and that’s fine.

We finished painting the bedroom at the weekend. Just waiting for new carpet which won’t come till next week, then we can put the next to me cot and stuff up. Talk about last minute, I’ll be 38 weeks by then! Hope the baby hangs in there till then at least.

Hi @Kiffers and welcome!!

Love your honesty and please dont feel bad for feeling this way. I had my first at 37 and spent the whole pregnancy feeling that way. I loved my career, sunny days in beer gardens, long lies, nice holidays. What the hell had I done?! Probably all reasons why i waited so long to have kids (that and a fear of childbirth). When my girl was born I didnt feel that rush of love maybe until about a week or so after. I was just numb. But now she is my world and I cant imagine life without her. Babies honestly can bring so much joy and you adapt in the most amazing ways. You will be great, always feel you can come here and share the load.

Ps I hated the idea of breastfeeding too. Freaked me out. I tried but wasnt for me so I bottle fed. I have the utmost respect for those who breastfeed, and do wish I could have, but wasnt going to push myself into something that didnt feel right to me. Did her no harm whatsoever xx

Hi everyone scan great today baby doing well 13 weeks exactly nt measurements , 1.9 and 2.0 so they say normal 🥰

Amazing news @clarkel1! So pleased for you. Hope the pain has gone away and you can finally relax x

Oh that's fantastic news @Clarkel1

Hi everyone, wondering if anyone could help share their experience. Scan today showed me to be at 11+3 and CRL- 47.9mm and NT - 2.3mm

I'm really worried that NT is quite high for 11+3.

My age and it's related risks have really hit home today and I feel so down.

Yay @clarke1!!! So happy for you! I was thinking about you last night as I was nodding off. That is such good news.

@Kiffers welcome to the thread. It is a big crazy whirlwind journey motherhood. I am pregnant and have a ten year gap. I cried when I got the result as it was a shock but we had been trying for a few years and had a miscarriage so it was good news, but I still freaked out. I go between overwhelming dread that something is wrong with the baby and this is not going to happen and then dread of starting all over again, back to the night feeds and how much it is going to change our family dynamics and then I also look to this new adventure we are going on and how exciting it is too. It is a mind f#ck.

Don't worry yourself on the details for now. These things work out and you only need to make decisions when you get to them. Fo what is right for you. No-one else really has a say. Try breastfeeding and if you have a strong aversion then stop. Don't beat yourself up. Those first tries are when baby gets the really good colustrum anyway. Have an open mind and do what you need to.

I am so not a baby person. I never want to hold them and actually politely decline when asked. Same with children I find them annoying 🙈. However, it is totally different with your own as the saying goes. It is true.

Take care of yourself and it is good to discuss feelings, don't bottle them up. Even when baby is here and maybe you don't get that bond straight away it is important to talk about it and helps midwives spot any post-natal depression and will help.

It takes all sorts. We don't have to be gushy baby people to love and raise our children. Or organised, or proactive. I am lazy as anything and I managed. 😁Xxx

Hi @dia12 I am sure I read that anything up to 2.5mm is within the normal range at 11/12 weeks. I think 3.5mm is high and then 6mm would be an almost sure sign of downs.

See what your full results are when they come back. You can get the private NIPT/Harmony test as it is very accurate and will give you peace of mind if worried. It is quite expensive at about £400-500.

You could wait and see the results and then decide. I would have wanted NIPT before a CVS or amnio.

My NIPT didn't work and got a refund. Nothing sinister just a number of factors obscuring the result and not getting enough fetal DNA. I was expecting a high risk nhs result due to age but it came back pretty low risk.

I have my 20 week scan on Friday and depending how it goes I might try another time for full peace of mind.

Your results sound within normal range though. Xxx