Just how awful is natural labour and delivery?

[squashie34]

Apologies in advance for the ridiculous thread title- although I guess this is essentially what I want to know.

I'm under no illusions that it's not extremely painful, and I am not worried about pain. but I am suffering from such severe anxiety and fear about giving birth naturally that it's making me have nightmares and lose sleep 😟 I can't help but picture the most horrendous situation where after a 25 hour labour baby gets stuck/heartbeat drops and there's a huge commotion to try and save baby or that she doesn't survive, or that baby is delivered and I bleed out and it's all so traumatic that I end up with something like PTSD or complete incontenance from awful tears. I have nightmares about it every night and it's really taking away from the joy of carrying this baby that we want so much. I guess it doesn't help with the current pandemic and my fear that there won't be enough midwives etc.

I've convinced myself that I want a csection as I know the recovery is worse but I'm eliminating that element of the unknown with labour, but I'd want more than anything to be able to shake this fear and have the mindset this is what my body is meant to do. I watch so many videos of water births etc and I'm in awe of how ladies do it but I'm just convinced my labour wouldn't go like that. I've had endometriosis for 15 years and countless operations, so getting pregnant has been the first time down below has worked as it actually should instead of causing me trouble!

I guess what I'm asking is just for some honest stories from you lovely ladies about natural birth- I don't know where else to turn really. I'm sorry if I just sound like a whimp too, I hate myself for feeling such fear!

Thank you xx

Labour sucks. It hurts like no pain you've ever had before. But you don't really do it. Your body just does it for you.

I had contractions for 23 hours and got a baby at the end of it.
It hurt. But here I am doing it again!

My first labour was really long, 30+ hours, baby got stuck and eventually was born with forceps in a theatre! I'd had an epidural and then eventually a spinal block too so the birth wasn't actually painful. I had a few days of recovery afterwards before I was feeling a bit more with it.

Second and third I also had epidurals, normal vaginal births, a couple of stitches with one and just a graze with the other. Went home within 8 hours with each and was fine after.

I found labour really, really painful and used a TENS machine and G&A before getting an epidural, but the epidurals were amazing!

I went through labour but still needed a c section. The c section recovery was a walk in the park compared with labour. But it’s different for everyone. My pain was so bad I was delirious, even morphine didn’t help. Whereas my friend only experienced a strong period pain and that was it.

I dunno I've never dared to attempt it. I had an epidural as soon as the contractions started.
Being in agony isn't on my bucket list.

It’s totally understandable especially at the moment! My experiences were really positive- I’ve had 3 babies and one was the tough where she was stuck sideways and I did beg for a epidural but that was through feeling like I couldn’t get her out but before the anaesthetist could do it I’d pushed her out .
I totally get how you feel but try think positive as there are lots of experiences that are lovely too- painful yes but it never felt worse than I could cope with.
That’s my experience anyway.

My first birth was quick and I started pushing and went from zero to full dialation in 6 hours, without anyone knowing, myself included because I had no clue what was going on. They checked up on me accidentally (the doctor was passing by, they were not meant to for another few hours) and sent me from antenatal to postnatal ward within minutes and I gave birth 40 minutes later. All I required was just gas in terms of pain relief. It was painful- the contractions, but the gas helped me regulate breathing and zone out a bit.
So overall not too bad. The afterwards was a much bigger shock lol.
I have heard horrendous stories before I gave birth from friends, and quite frankly I was so scared, but everyone is different, and I'd suggest not thinking of other people's bad experiences!

What do you want a natural birth for anyway? This is 2020. If you don't want one don't have one.

I had my first at home very quickly and I can't wait to do labour again. I don't think it was anywhere near as bad as what I expected x

Every woman is different, most of my friends told me of awful birthing stories that I was quite anxious about, were both ok, 1st one I was late and induced with a drip and ended up taking all sorts of drugs which actually made it pleasurable to some weird extent and was only about 10 hours, 2nd was on due date and was drug free and painful but quicker and bearable. There may be a chance you have a difficult labour but there is also a chance you will have a good one and if not maybe even a bearable one!
Good luck and you got this!

Please consider hypnobirthing, it really changed my perspective of birth. I don’t think it’s helpful to hear scare stories or how painful it is. It’s not particularly comfortable but it is manageable or no one would do it twice

I ended up with the birth I didn’t want - MLU closed, has an induction then emergency c-section but it was very positive and despite any pain I’d do it 100 x over to meet my baby. Saying that, the c-section was very calm and my recovery has been good.

If you’re this het up already it isn’t likely your body will relax enough to give you a natural birth and more likely you’ll need some intervention anyway. A c-section might not be a bad idea at all, the recovery really is fine

Get an epidural. Don’t believe all the shit that people spout that you shouldn’t as your body is able to labour and have a baby without it. Yes, your body can. Should you go through that amount of pain under some illusion that it makes you a better mum - nope!!

I've had 4 natural labours with no pain relief including a 9lb breech baby.
It's really can be not that bad. For me the only unbearable bit was transition between contractions and pushing but luckily, that didn't last long.

It's so varied though. With my first, I was vomiting with pain and crying for an epidural - luckily got one quickly. My second was less painful than a bad period and I was even able to nap until almost the pushing stage. Both followed the same timings almost to the dot. Try not to worry too much, trust your body to do its best, and be prepared to request take medical help as and when you need it.

Well I always thought of myself as having a very low pain threshold
And I’m rubbish at sports and physical activity in general so thought I wouldn’t be good at childbirth.
But my body really knew what to do and was quite efficient at it! Just thought because I didn’t take to ski ing for example, would be the same with birth but it was not the case!
So if I can do it anyone can.
I also found it strangely comforting when I read that if you were in a coma you would still give birth - your body would just sort of expel the baby. I appreciate not everyone will find that comforting 😂
But yes obviously it was painful at the time, but you soon forget. And I went back and did it again twice more as do lots of people, so I can’t be that bad.
I didn’t go in for hypnobirthing but I know who did and found it helpful, so maybe think about that?

Read 'Effective Birth Preparation' by Maggie Howell. It's very good for allaying fears. Did you know women can give birth in a coma? It's a case of allowing your body to do its thing and not getting so stressed out that you hinder the process.

It was not the best few hours of my life. It was manageable for most of the 24 hours and then really uncomfortable for four hours. About half an hour was truly awful, but it didn't seem that long because you lose all track of time.

One of my friends just said it was intense, not painful. She had no pain relief for her first- it's a matter of your pain threshold and how much you manage to keep relaxed. No one on here can tell you how birth will be for you.

Mine were painful (of course) but short too. First was 6 hours and second 4 hours. I think that probably helped.

Compared to some other aspects of pregnancy/being a parent, I'd choose birth

Reading your post I think maybe I'd go for a c section if I were you. It is calmer and more predictable from what I've heard. There's no right answer, different births will be better for different people.

*know people who did

Hypnobirthing

Stand / kneel upright as much as possible

Go with the flow

Take gas & air

You will be fine.

However if you want the c section and can have it then do that. You need to have the birth you want

Ok stop panicking.
Ive got 4 children. My first was 11lb and a vwry difficult labour and tore right into my bum hole. I was stiched and now completely fine, the rest i was induced at 38 weeks and went quickly and smoothly.
You dont really remember it, yes the pain is horrific but once you have that baby its all forgotten.
The best thing you can do is to stay calm and relaxed, i found darker lighting was much better. The only person who needs to see what their doing is the midwife. Good luck xxx

Some are really awful, some aren't awful at all or even good. My first birth (spontaneous labour, no meds at all) was awesome and I'd love to do it again. No tears. Totally euphoric.

You have all sorts of options available to you.

Get an epidural.

Very glib. OP, do your research before you opt for any medical intervention- look into risks, complications and the odds of these occurring now, while labour is still some distance away.

I had an emergency c.section for my first and a planned one for my 2nd.

It all depends on the person how bad a c.section is and no one can tell you that.

I didn’t have any pain killers after on both occasions

I would definitely have a CS again as opposed to a normal vaginal delivery.

With my planned CS I didn’t have any pain just a little discomfort after. Not enough for pain killers.

I came out within 48hours and we had friends round for a barbecue that afternoon.

I shuffled around for about a week and was back behind the wheel of my (automatic) car after 10 days.

You just have to take it easy

I've had 3 children, every labour was completely different, my first I had pre eclampsia at 34 weeks, induced then emergency c section, second was really worried but it was the best, I was in control, used tens, gas and air and pethidine, the stitches hurt more than giving birth. The third horrendous, she was rapid, came out partial back to back, didn't have time to focus on breathing, tens didn't work, gas and air made me sick, never again.

No one knows how it will be for them. Also each birth is different. My two births may as well have happened to a different person (first long labour epidural emergency c section second natural birth 4 hours start to finish)

I read about visualising yourself somewhere else in a hippy pregnancy book and Scythia technique really got me through my first awful birth. In my head I was on holiday. Missed the worst of it 😁 worked for me anyway

I’m the other way round, the idea of a caesarean seems completely horrific to me why put your body through major surgery and the subsequent recovery unless absolutely necessary!