The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

@InDreamland that's such great news, I really hope this is your rainbow now. Are you going to have another scan before your NHS one around 12 weeks?

I'm 7 weeks today and haven't had any scans yet - I'm driving myself completely crazy wondering whether everything is ok in there, my first scan isn't until Tuesday which seems like an age away!!

Great news@InDreamland 9weeks is s great milestone xx

Great news @InDreamland so pleased for you xxx

@InDreamland so pleased to see your scan
@rubyroot at least the speck could be the start of something.
So after epu saying I can't get a scan I've made an appointment at the gp for tomorrow to see if they can help with my worrying.

@InDreamland I decided to check over on this thread, what a lovely picture to spot. I have been thinking about you.

I was wondering if I could join you?

I'm 36 and have been TTC no 2 this year. 6w MC in May in very confusing circumstances. I'm 14 DPO and just got a BFP this evening on a frer and a hopelessly faint one step thing...

My partner had a bit of an odd reaction due to all the hurt from the MC and a bit of crap situation from when my daughter was born.

Anyway, one step at a time and for now I'm pregnant 😊

I had Hyperemesis with my daughter but I can't get a Drs appointment until August so let's hope that doesn't kick off yet(or at all)
🤞🏻

Thanks everyone, hoping I feel better tomorrow.

@SadToday21 glad it went well. My ability to focus has been awful since DD2 died, doesn't help that I'm doing around looking after DD1 as well.

@moonpeace hope the headaches stop soon.

Congratulations @pinkoi.

@rubyroot fingers crossed for your speck x

@Pancakesandwaffles @sadtoday21 @Beaglemum93 @DuvetCaterpillar @VenusStarr @Yukka @Laney79 @tinatsarina @moonpeace thank you.

@DuvetCaterpillar keeping 🤞 for your HCG levels to double.

@Frillyfarmer thank you. I'm trying to decide on the Harmony test at same time as having a 10.5w scan. I can't wait another 3 weeks for next scan which is the NHS one at 11+6. You'll be 8 weeks for your scan on Tuesday which is a great time to have one as you should see a heartbeat. In 7 days you'll see your rainbow. Keeping fx for you.

@tinatsarina I hope your GP can help tomorrow.

@pinkoi congratulations! Lovely to see you here. That's a very strong line on a FRER. I think those one step ones are not as sensitive. Will you test again in 48 hours with Fmu? Hoping this is a sticky one for you.

I've lit a candle tonight for my 2 lost babies. First passed a year ago today and the second due date today. Fly high and shine bright my little ones. Look after each other. Mummy will love you forever and I will hold you one day x

I haven't been on all day but fantastic news @InDreamland so pleased for you. I hope you can have a few days at least if excitement and contentment knowing all is going well.

I've had cramps for the last 24hours - not constant but when they come it is very uncomfortable which has scared me a bit. I did not recall having these cramps as late as 10w2days with DS or my pregnancy which ended in MMC. I have my harmony test and scan in Thursday (at the same place I found out about first MMC) fingers crossed this harmony test and scan goes ok. I'm so scared about it. I'm really worried about how I'll cope if we get bad news and it's my DS' birthday this weekend so I need to stay strong and with a happy front for him as he deserves a fun and happy day. Is it normal to have period like cramps at this stage?

@InDreamland I think it's lovely that you have lit a candle for them tonight. They will always be in your heart.

@pinkoi congrats that looks very strong. The Dr today told me I wasn't pregnant from the crap tests they use at the Dr's! I did a clear blue predictor test straight after and it said 2-3 weeks which I read is minimum 254 hcg.

He did later say.. Oh its a very faint line.

@Indreamland if I get that far I'll definitely have a harmony at ten weeks exactly. I don't even want to think about it though really as I just feel I can't be positive.. Its self preservation I'm afraid.

@Newbie21 good luck with your scans on Thursday

@InDreamland
What a lovely thing to do for your little ones. Xxxx

You inspired me to finally do the act of remembrance for my lost one that I have been intending to do for ages. Now seemed right.

I may do another cheapy stick test with FMU in a few days so that I have some sort of confidence that it might show up on the really insensitive tests the doctors use. Had big probs with the docs tests saying negative when mine were still pos.

Lots of love xx

@rubyroot I'm glad it's not just me that has fallen foul of the crap nhs tests. Last time the doc had chucked the test in the bin before the end of the development time, proclaimed me to not be pregnant and sent me on my way!

I can't get a gp appointment until the 8th of August anyway (dunno if I should phone up to get one sooner) so by then I'd be over 7 weeks anyway and it should show on any test, If it lasts that long.

😊

@tinatsarina I know you probably have a conscience but you could tell a little white lie to get a scan. I understand if you dont want to. I've never had to before as there's always been some issue. But you could...

So my pains have just calmed down a bit. I'm starting to wonder if they're pooh pains as the pains have lessened the closer the pooh is to my bum! Perhaps it is as it passes through intestines? My pooh keeps going from soft to hard, latest is I've had loads of rabbit poohs. Sorry tmi!

God it would be bloody great if That's all it was.

@sadtoday21 I'm sorry to hear about your molar pregnancy, that must have been really scary to go through. We seem to be pretty close in dates - by my LMP I'm 7 weeks, but that's clearly wrong given I've only just got a positive after 13 days of an AWOL period and am pretty certain I ovulated right at the end of my 35 day cycle - I would guess at about 4/5 weeks tops, so solidarity handhold right back at you - we'll get through this. I've got a bioscience background, so am trying to focus on stats to get me through because they soothe me - a 1/100 chance of an ectopic is still 99/100 that everything is fine, and even if it is, my worrying won't prevent it. It's not a panacea but it does help me a bit.

Thanks @moonpeace @InDreamland @beaglemum93 and anyone else I missed (apologies, can't scroll back without losing my response!) for the crossed fingers - I am just focusing on thinking happy thoughts and willing my HCG levels to go up. Will see where we get to on Friday. I definitely feel safer for having someone medical keep an eye on me, though, so the anxiety is easing for now thankfully.

Congratulations @pinkoi - I remember you from the other thread where you were very kind to me, am so glad you're here! That is a gorgeous line, hope it's a sticky one for you. How far along do you think you are?

Afraid I can't advise on what's normal for 10 weeks @newbie21 but hope all is OK, and good luck for your scan on Thursday, and I hope it's positive news. You're pregnant until proven otherwise though, eh? Will be thinking of you.

@tinatsarina good luck with the GP tomorrow.

@rubyroot how are things going? Have been thinking about you today. You too @InDreamland, it must be a day of very mixed emotions for you, and the candle is a wonderful way to keep them close. Everyone is rooting for you, wishing you peace tonight.

@DuvetCaterpillar so my hcg is 607 at the moment. They want me to return in two days and have them taken again, but I'm supposed to be going on holiday. I know this seems silly, but I need to take my mind if things. At the same time if it's not doubling, at least I'll know and can deal with it.

@Duvetcaterpillar seems like we're going through similar at the moment doesn't it.

I hope both of put hcg doubles. I don't like findibg these things put. It's so bloody scarey how quickly things can be over

@DuvetCaterpillar

Thanks - I'm 14DPO so 4 weeks exactly, only found out this evening. No bleeding yet but I'm back on loo roll watch now.

I'm just gradually reading back over the thread to catch up with where people are at 😊

@Newbie21 thank you. Could the cramps be round ligament pain? Keeping fx for you tomorrow. Where are you getting the harmony test done? What have you planned for DS birthday?

@Bluebelltulip ❤

@rubyroot I think I'm scared of getting results that say there's a problem. Have you decided what you'll do about HCG bloods and holiday?

@pinkoi it will be lovely for you to do something for your one too. Have you resisted testing again this morning?

@DuvetCaterpillar fx for rising HCG levels!

I'm so tired. Nauseous. Food aversions galore. Even plain water makes me feel sick so having to have squash which is not like me at all. Mash potato and salt and vinegar crisps are my safest options but have to eat other stuff too. I think ham sarnies are ok. Hate the smell of coffee. One minute boobs ache then they're fine again.

@rubyroot Forgive what might be a silly question, but have you actually told the EPU that you're due to be going on holiday? You won't be the first person this has happened to, and depending on your condition, they might be happy to wait until you get back if you're otherwise well. Whether you can stand to wait is another matter!

So I woke up at 2 AM to use the toilet and as I rolled out of bed felt a sharp pain in my lower back on the left side. I assumed I'd just irritated a muscle but it persisted and I struggled to get back into bed. Spent the next couple of hours with a hot water bottle trying to get comfortable and eventually passed back out around 4 am. This morning it feels a bit better - it's fine when I'm standing but really painful when I bend over or change positions. Anyone had an experience like this? I am 13+3 and thought it was a bit early for back pain but perhaps I've pulled something that was more vulnerable due to pregnancy?

@rubyroot glad the pains calmed down, how are you this morning?

@Coconutlatte44 it does sound like you pulled something, ligaments relaxing in pregnancy makes injuries more likely.

@InDreamland I'm struggling a bit with food too, my DD loves bananas and I can't stand the smell. I had cheese for breakfast as the thought of anything else turned my stomach.

I'm still feel ill today not as wobbly but now got a headache. I also had a bad dream last night that I was preparing to go to hospital to have this baby once it had died too. It felt really strange, in my dream I was calm and it seemed normal.