The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

That's a good mindset to have @ReeReeR I'm getting a bit of cramping this afternoon and hoping just normal stretching. No spotting though. Like you say even with spotting can be completely normal! Xx

Thank you everyone for trying to ease my anxiety. I haven't been able to get back on to post.

I'm not feeling confident at all, I think I might have done slight (and I mean slight) spotting but it's the tiniest of specks but seen a few, brown not red. My whole lower stomach is sore, that's the only way I can describe it, not crampy or stretching, just feels odd. I know there is nothing I can do. I don't know whether to test again or not. Part of me doesn't want to accept if it is all over but the other part thinks I should know sooner rather than later. I hate this :( I wasn't feeling too bad yesterday.

Hope your spotting is nothing sinister @ReeReeR x

*some not done

@VenusStarr I'm sorry. I have a very sore tummy too. It's so hard to know how it will play out when these symptoms can be normal. I'm far more hyper aware than last time. I think I noticed soreness but shrugged it off with my first pregnancy when I read it was normal. After loss it's so hard. Virtual hug! Xx

Oh I could cry 😢 just called the epu and the nurse was so lovely. She's asked me to call back week beginning 19 August and they'll scan me.

I did explain about my dates and she's happy to go by my dates rather than lmp. She also said this soreness sounded like round ligament pain and she wasn't concerned @Catconfusion, hopefully that helps you too? Xx

That's great news @VenusStarr as you'll see more bu then anyway. I'm glad you're getting seen. Yes I've had my suspicions about round ligament pain. It's worse when I move like turning over in bed but it is a little crampy and sharp. Blazing positive tests and no spotting so it's probably a case of relaxing and seeing what happens! Xx

Hi everyone,
It's been a while - I got back from my little holiday last week and had to adjust to making my own meals and cleaning up after myself!!

So I feel like I should be on top of the world right now as have made it to the second trimester (16+1!) and am still on holiday until my teacher orientation starts up next week. I have my 16 week appointment this afternoon. The anxiety specifically about mc etc has basically reduced.

However, I am feeling so lazy and unmotivated, then sitting around doing nothing, and then feeling guilty for being lazy! The silly thing is that I don't need to be doing anything productive and should just be relaxing and enjoying my time off but I feel restless just without the energy to do anything about it.

I'm actually looking forward to going back to work - I think I will quickly regret saying this, but I have too much time on my hands right now and I think it's driving me a bit nuts!

Also just had the sudden anxiety yesterday that I haven't been eating enough protein as am a vegetarian and haven't been eating as healthy as I normally do. Keep reassuring myself my body will take care of baby first so if I'm feeling fine then all is fine with baby.

Midwife called me back and I told her I’d had some mild cramps for a few days and some spotting today. I have pain in the left side. She called EPU for me and then told me they said they can’t scan until six weeks. I thought they could check it wasn’t ectopic at this stage but apparently not. So she said to just keep an eye on it and go to A&E if pain or bleeding gets worse.

@ReeReeR sorry you're experiencing spotting. I had some left sided pain with both this pregnancy and my previous successful pregnancy. They got me in for scan quickly both times.

At four weeks this time they couldn't see enough to rule ectopic out. Just a small blip which sonographer said could be start of intrauterine pregnancy and suspected luteal cyst which meant again as it was on ovary could not rule out ectopic. I was then scanned a few days later where blip had got bigger but no yolk sac yet. About 5 weeks I believe! They also took hcg tests. I went to gp and they referred straight to epu.

Sorry forgot to add. Had scan which they dated 5 weeks 4 (by my dates it was 6 weeks 2) and they saw heartbeat. So that's it from epu until my private scan next week.

Thanks @rubyroot I saw on the April 2020 thread today someone was scanned at EPU today at 5+1 so not sure if that’s just their standard line (not to scan before 6 weeks). I have heard of lots of people having had pains and spotting but I can’t help but worry. I’m going out shortly so hopefully that will take my mind off things.

Perhaps get to your GP for appt if you want a scan. If suspected ectopic I think the advice is scan straight away regardless. I know GPS seem to have more gravitas with epu where I am, rather than midwives.

Hope you manage to distract yourself enough. Have to say I'm struggling whether out or not.

@ReeReeR I had a suspected ectopic at 4 plus two and they rushed me in. I was told too early for ectopic as wouldn't be symptomatic so early. They wouldn't scan me. I was bleeding though with cramps and had a faint positive test that had been stronger before. Xx

@rubyroot symptoms do come and go but it is definitely stressful especially after loss. Jelly discharge is good I think though? Means your plug is forming.

@VenusStarr sorry you're feeling so worried. Glad your epu were so good though, and that they will go by your dates - sounds rare that they listen when you know better than lmp!

@Catconfusion your gp sounds fab! Hoping mine is as good tomorrow!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue not selfish at all, that sounds really tough. Does your partner understand and can give you some support?

@ReeReeR everything crossed for you that it's just implantation and a sticky bean getting good and comfy. How is it now? Our epu don't scan before 6 weeks either, feels so long to wait. Good advice to try gp and see if they can bump you up.

Sorry if I've missed any updates, the thread is moving so fast today and I've been busy!!

Still feeling in limbo here but gp tomorrow should hopefully get things moving - either that I can go to epu or we will book a scan. Annoyed by the timing of our holiday next week!

@Navy123 on the recommendation of a couple of others here I went to the Fetal Medicine Centre on Harley St. Scan is £100. It does seem to be the going rate in London I think. My local clinic do viability scans for £90, that's where we went for the 7w one but the 10w +Harmony test works out better value at the Fetal medicine centre than my local clinic so chose there. Plus ladies here recommended it. Where abouts are you? I've seen you can get deals on groupon but you have to be flexible with your dates and times for those.

@KnitKitty lovely to hear from you. Sorry anxiety has kicked in again but good news about the test results.

@ReeReeR sorry you're having spotting. Hopefully it's just IB and nothing else. Totally get the panic though. I had some up until about 7.5 - 8 weeks I think. If you're anxious can you go walk in at your EPU? Mine let's you self refer and sit and wait if you just turn up and they will see you.

@nzs2019 I had the same this morning. Little 5h1t wouldn't shift for the sonographer. Don't think DH was happy with me calling it that.

Sorry so many are so anxious. It's so hard being pregnant after loss. All the joy and magic doesn't exist like for someone who has never experienced a loss (for some of us multiple losses). All we can do is take one day at a time and come here for support and reassurance. Plus if you have some funds go for early scans, especially to rule out ectopic - although I'd insist EPU scan to rule out ectopic, you shouldn't have to put your hand in your pocket for that.

Good luck with the GP tomorrow. At this point I'd complain if you're not happy. xx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that's so sad about your friend/colleague. It must be so hard for both of you and it's totally natural it's affected you so much. Do what is right for you but card is a lovely idea.

Brief update from me...

Had the anomaly scan today. She is doing perfectly and all is looking on track. Something clicked today where I started believing this is actually happening and we are actually going to have a baby!

We had a trainee sonographer for part of the scan, and because of this we got loads of photos (different shots of her), the best one is uploaded. She was dancing around so much we ended up being in the scan for 50 minutes, which was a long time to hold a full bladder...but all very much worth it.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - really sorry to hear about your friend, it's really hard to know what to do for the best and how much support to give as everyone reacts differently to loss. The idea of the card sounds lovely and something I would have liked when I went through it.

@Amanda81 She's a beauty. So glad you're feeling like it's happening now! xx

Scan this morning went well ....... well after the naughty little thing shifted into position. I was sent away twice to walk, drink and consume sugar to get bubsy to move so sonographer could do NT measurement etc. Dates consistent with last 2 scans, so now 1 day ahead of LMP date, new EDD is 18/02/20 which is right for ov date as my cycles since both mc's have shortened. Will post pic when I get home.

Now the anxious wait for Harmony test results on Friday. NT measurement today though looked good.

Great news on your scans @Amanda81 and @InDreamland.

@Amanda81 awwwww ❤❤❤

Amazing news on your scans @Amanda81 and @InDreamland!!!

@Amanda81 that's a beautiful scan pic. Glad you're starting to get excited now x.

Thanks @Navy123 I did read that jelly discharge at around 7 weeks can be plug forming and that's how many weeks I am.

Feel a bit better after my blind panic this morning, my pooh has gone a bit more solid and my tender boobs have returned- probably all that prodding I've been doing to check.

I've got a scan booked for Tuesday... Yes the 13th- it's all the had 😳