The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

Saldy @InDreamland we wouldn't be able to get into Trinity as we don't go to church/aren't religious. Our neighbour's daughter goes to Trinity (supposed to be an amazing school) and also looked round Davenant, although she said it had quite a different vibe there and all the girls were all fully made up/hair and nails done etc! She wasn't keen and chose Trinity. Primary schools here are ok, there is one at the end of my road which isn't one of the top rated but it is small and close which I think will be key! The private high schools round here are amazing. I harbour dreams of being able to afford to send my kids to Forest but sadly, I can probably keep dreaming! Maybe DD will pass the 11 plus and go to Woodford County... if not I'm sure she will be ok. It's a nice area this part of Essex.

I leave early on Monday and Tuesdays to collect DD from nursery and even at 4.30 it was horrendous! Dreading tomorrow! Too hot!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue you're definitely right this is a lovely part of Essex. Generally clean, green, safe (hope I not spoken too soon), people here are friendly for the most, restaurants, lovely high streets. Things are pretty convenient. I love it.

Oooh 4:30pm, yep that will have been hot. I got off the tube at 4pm and that was late enough. The past few weeks I have been leaving by 3:30pm where I can and then logging on at home. I won't be able to from next week though as moving to a different department and I think they will be more demanding on my time and less flexible. I'm really going to be relying on the badge then. Tomorrow is supposed to be hotter than today 🥵

@moonpeace are you Waltham Cross/Abbey/Harlow way?

Actually Harlow is Essex isn't it? Cheshunt? Bishops Stortford?

I accept my geography is terrible.

@moonpeace my sister went to Broxbourne school for 6th form. We used to live in W. Abbey. It's such a small world!

@Frillyfarmer and @nzs2019 lovely scan pictures. Glad all is progressing well. Please for you too @Ginmonkey84 that scan went well.

Fingers crossed for you @Russkispy I hope all goes well at your EPU appointment.

For those of you that found out the sex of baby - do you recall what the fetal heart rate was? I read somewhere that in early pregnancy a fast FHR can indicate a girl. I am not going to find out but I love guessing and reading into old wives tales.

Congratulations on the scans @Frillyfarmer and @nzs2019! So happy for you both!

I've been to the pregnancy assessment unit tonight because I became convinced my waters were leaking. They are definitely not so thats good and they're sending swabs to the lab to test if there is an infection but they reckon it's just increased discharge due to hormones. I also have a prescription for antibiotics just in case it is an infection.

@Beaglemum93 I had the same issue with my first pregnancy - I think sometimes it's just freakish how much discharge we have!

Last night we had the mother of all storms here. By some miracle DS slept through it but the thunder and lightening was so spectacular DH and I actually stood by the front door and watched for ages just cuddled up together. It was really nice but it took ages for me to get back to sleep again and this morning I feel a little bit like the walking dead. Just trying to pick another light outfit that hides the growing bloat!

Glad everything is ok @Beaglemum93! Sorry you had a bit of a fright - there's always something to worry about!

I wish there was a storm here @Frillyfarmer, might clear the air a bit! Even with a fan and windows open I still didn't sleep well.

I have dug out my old maternity dresses and am wearing a what can only be described as a sack today! Style has gone down the priorities list in favour of being cool. No denying the bump now, someone at work asked me yesterday how I was coping in the heat "in my condition", this is not someone I know or who I have officially told so I guess there really is no hiding it anymore!!

Hope you all have good days and keep cool!

@sadtoday21 Sorry your DH wasn't as excited as you hoped. My OH was very low-key until after we had our first scan at 7 weeks and then became a lot more positive and excited. I think he was picking up on my anxiety and probably worrying a bit himself. Yes, having lost a previous pregnancy alters how you react to a new one, but hopefully in a few short weeks you'll both start to feel more excited.
As for MS, mine was so subtle at first I wasn't sure if I was feeling nauseated or not... Just very mild yucky feeling. Then I started going off certain foods... Just didn't fancy eating them or found it hard to finish, and then out of the blue one morning I threw up while making breakfast. I think for other people it comes on more quickly; it just depends on how your body reacts.

@InDreamland I'm glad you pulled a sicky. You have to put yourself first; especially in this heat!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Congrats on the great looking dating scan! Lovely picture! My last scan at 9 weeks gave me a due-date of 30th Jan. Got my proper dating scan tomorrow, so we could be due-date buddies!

@moonpeace Oh the heat... the heat! My tips are thus: cold foot bath before bed, let the cooler night air in and then keep windows and curtains closed during the day, drink LOTS (and if like me drinking water doesn't go down well, buy some squash), occasionally splash the back of your neck and arms with cold water and let it air-dry, stay in the shade, keep blinds closed at work if you're in an office, and ice cream... lots of ice cream...
I made me and OH laugh last night... I dug out my short PJs, and the top is supposed to loosely hang around your hips (which it did the last time I wore them)... Because of bump it stretched tightly just around belly-button and looked ridiculous! Haha! Still wore it though as they're nice and cool.
I was told to take progesterone until 12 weeks by RMC. At my midwife appointment I raised the issue of being anxious about coming off it and she said to talk to my specialist at my dating scan (which is tomorrow at 13 weeks), so I'm still taking them at the moment, and hoping to take them for a bit longer. We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow and I'll report back.
I'm glad your tests came back low risk. What did you decide about getting another scan?

@Russkispy I'm sorry you had the scare of that bleed. It's common to get the odd bleed in early pregnancy. It could be your cervix was irritated by something... the progesterone pessaries could be causing this - I've heard this happening for other ladies. Or as an EPU nurse once described to me, sometimes you've got such a thick lining it's like it almost over-flows a bit and it's just seen as unexplained bleeding. How are you doing now?

@Frillyfarmer and @nzs2019 Grreat scan pics! Congrats ladies!

@Beaglemum93 You did the right thing getting checked out. I'm glad the waters aren't leaking. Hope there's no infection. x

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I wish I had a sac to wear!! lol! I'm really struggling to find outfits that still hide the bump; but hopefully after tomorrow I won't need to conceal it anymore.

So ladies, can you please send me luck for my scan tomorrow? I'm a bit nervous but not as bad as for my first scan. I should be 13 weeks tomorrow. Just trying to stay positive. It also means I get to leave the office early and escape the non-air-conditioned office!

Good luck in the heat today everyone.
I didn't sleep well at all last night so wondering if I'm actually going to make it through until the end of the day. Bloody thunder storms and tropical temperatures!! I am grateful we came back from France when we did though!

@moonpeace @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that's 3 of us in the same part of the world. I'm sure someone else here said they're Chelmsford way?

How's tube commuters finding it this morning? My goodness I'm sweating like mad and only walked to station and done 2 stops so far. I have to be in the office today otherwise I'd work from home. Definitely not going in tomorrow.

@Newbie21 I've never got far enough to find out the sex. Would be interested in your theories. DH and I are having the Harmony test done this weekend .......if the scan they do first shows a live healthy baby of course which I'm now absolutely petrified of having as so scared baby has not survived this heat or my terrible diet. Or just we got to 9 weeks last week and that's our maximum and best we'll ever get. Aaarrrggghhhh, sorry, slipping into negative so easily.

@Russkispy fx for your appointment today! Hope it's good news! How have you been overnight and this morning?

@Beaglemum93 glad you're ok but that must have been scary!

@Frillyfarmer that storm woke me up with the most almighty bang, I thought a bomb had gone off. Seriously woke up screaming, poor DH had to calm me down. I've never done that before in thunder storms. Got worried the fright had hurt baby, then realised how stupid I sound. The bloat is massive isn't it. It's impossible to hide mine. I'm wearing the flimsiest dress can get away with for the office.

@KnitKitty sending you lots of luck for tomorrow although I am sure all will be fine. Understand being nervous though. Really hoping I can get to my 12 week scan appointment too. I'm so sure this is your rainbow. Can't wait to see pics tomorrow. Yes this heat is just hideous.

Glad all seems ok @Beaglemum93 it must have been worrying.

@Newbie21 I think it worked with DD1 her FHR was generally just over 140, DD2 I suppose it worked too but I wouldn't count that as her heart condition increased her heart rate.

@KnitKitty good luck for your scan tomorrow.

I'm shattered today, couldn't get to sleep due to the heat then we had the thunderstorm, DH even woke up this time. DD is poorly today so no nursery for her, she is not happy about it and wants lots of cuddles which I normally don't mind but it's too warm for a hot water bottle attached to me.

@InDreamland I totally understand the anxiety around the harmony scan. I felt exactly the same since the last time I was in that very room I got the shock of my life finding out I'd had an MMC. After having a healthy pregnancy before that and never having experienced miscarriage personally, it came as a total shock. DH and I were petrified this time round but all was well so we burst out crying in relief. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you. Baby will be ok in the heat just keep drinking lots even if it does make you pee every 30mins ;-)

On the heartbeat thing. I thought I would check whether 165bpm was "normal" for 11 weeks so inevitably googled it and saw lots of posts about high rate meaning girl. Now I can't recall what DS was at this stage. I'll try and dig out my notes to see if it says. I think I'm having a boy (for no reason apart from I already have one so that's all I know) so if it was a girl that would be a huge shock. I'm indifferent either way but it's fun to guess.

@KnitKitty Best of luck for the scan tomorrow. Let us know how you get on. Fingers and toes crossed 🤞

Good luck today @Russkispy, hope you get some good news

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @KnitKitty. Sorry your office has no air conditioning! I think I'd have been dying in work without it!

Hope your DD is ok @Bluebelltulip

@Newbie21 I'm having a boy and his heart rate was over 140. I read on a thread that if the heartbeat sounds like a train then it's a boy and if it's a girl it sounds like a galloping horse and I thought it sounded like a train so maybe there's something in it (or it just had a 50:50 chance of being right haha).

Good luck @russkispy @knitkitty and @Indreamland for your scans this week.

@Indreamland the heat or your diet won't have done anything to your babe. They don't seem to have problems with having babies in hot countries. And your baby will nick all your vits so it'll just be you suffering from poor diet 😉

@InDreamland I said to DH last night that I hope the baby wouldn't be too hot, he reminded me that the baby is being kept at my body temperature so is fine, it's just me that is overheating.

Thanks @Beaglemum93 she is not happy and keeps trying to play but doesn't have the energy for it, I think TV will be very useful today.

Good luck for tomorrow @KnitKitty! I hate scans and completely understand your nerves. We are all rooting for you.

Not sure I buy the heart rate theory @Newbie21. DD's was always quite high but with this pregnancy it's always been above 150 and I've now had a boy confirmed with Harmony test and 16 week scan! One thing I am wondering about though is cravings - with DD I wanted sweet things, ice cream, and TONS of fruit. This pregnancy I have been craving meat - I fantasise about steaks and burgers 😂😂😂 But I guess all pregnancies are so different, as are all babies!

I hope your DD is ok @Bluebelltulip. Must be horrible being ill in this heat. Definitely don't be afraid to use the TV in this situation! When DD has chicken pox a few weeks back, there was more Peppa Pig than I care to admit 😳 Hope she is better soon.

Thinking of you today @Russkispy. I hope all is ok xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue also think the sweet cravings is also (like the rest) an old wives. Had sweet cravings with my little boy, and I'm more of a savoury kind of girl!

Hahaha @rubyroot! Just goes to show it's all total rubbish!

How have you got on today @Russkispy?

Thank you lovely ladies! Had no bleeding during the night and only tiny brown discharge this morning and nothing since. As I was in the waiting room I felt like nausea was hitting me. The scan went well. But am around 5 weeks, he said. Not 6w4d. After a miscarriage if you don’t have 3 full cycles, it’s hard to determine weeks of early pregnancy. But, sac is present and yolk is present too! No heartbeat as it’s too early. Back to see him on 7/08 when I’m 7 weeks. Bleeding was more likely caused by placenta as he could see something small around the sac. Very relieved but still early days! Spoke to my fertility doc and told me to take extra progesterone in the morning and continue with the evening intake. Thank you for all your support! It means a lot!