The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

Sorry to hear about your loss @FirstTimeMama91 look after yourself .

Today has been quite a big day for me glad I wasn't feeling like I did yesterday. This morning I bumped into someone I did aquanatal with at a play group, I hadn't seen her since DD2 died but it was nice to catch up I even enjoyed playing with her baby, another day I wouldn't have been able to stay but it felt ok today. I then found out that my daughter's friend we saw yesterday now has hand foot and mouth, I rang my bereavement midwife and she wanted me to get my immunity tested but I needed to go back to the antenatal clinic where I found out that DD2 was very poorly. I felt sad going back there but it wasn't as hard as I had imagined.

Glad your scan went well @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue.

Regarding telling people my mum and PIL and a couple of close friends know because they are people we need support from now and would tell if things went wrong. I have no idea when we will tell others, previously done it after the 12 week scan but don't feel ready to do that this time.

I'm very sorry @FirstTimeMama91 - sending you hugs xx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue it's at 6:45pm.

@Bluebelltulip you are a very strong woman!

@Bluebelltulip for what it's worth I think you're bloody amazing! Your strength inspires me.

@InDreamland horrible time of day! I hope the day isn't too long for you. I am keeping positive and believing this is your miracle. Are you at work tomorrow? Can you keep busy?

@Amanda81 I really understand and relate to what you wrote about the anxiety. I feel ok today because of the scan but I know all to well how the negative thoughts can take hold and send you on a downward spiral. I have no advice really - I just book more scans! 🤦🏼‍♀️ All we can do is take deep breaths and try and focus on the positive stats. It's fucking hard sometimes and I just wish I could be as naive and happy as I was with my DD pregnancy.

So sorry for your loss @FirstTimeMama91 :( hope you're ok x

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @InDreamland. I'll be thinking of you x

@FirstTimeMama91 thinking of you. I hope the appointment goes ok today. Will have my fingers crossed for you x

@theAntsareMyFriends ooooh 4th Jan - I think it's nice for kids to have the fun of Xmas time continuing with a birthday after it (says the lady with a 27th Dec birthday haha). Also, not sure if this is a myth but if you have the first born in uk in the year, doesn't pampers give you a year supply for free??

@FirstTimeMama91 so sorry I pressed send on that previous message his morning and it didn't go and just went now! I am so sorry. I'm glad you have support and you certainly will be back soon I'm very sure. Sending hugs xxx

@Kintan so sorry for your loss. Definitely do hang around or touch base from time to time. The ladies on this thread get the pain and the difficulty of the TTC journey and we have all fallen pregnant at different stages - following 1 MC or multiple, after RMC appointments and before so hopefully you can look to us also for TTC queries and general support and plus we too are interested and very hopeful to hear about your happy news in the v near future. Same for @FirstTimeMama91 xx

@FirstTimeMama91 love and hugs to you, I'm so sorry.

Good luck tomorrow @InDreamland. Is it your dog induction day tomorrow as well @Yukka ?

@Frillyfarmer yes it's final checks tomo to confirm induction date, depends on how well baby has grown in last 4 weeks and blood glue checks. They asked I stopped the aspirin last weekend just in case...!

I'm feeling confident and excited to see baby and get a plan. I'll drop a note when I'm back around lunchtime xx

@Yukka my previous post should have read "big induction" not dog!

I was induced with DS and once I had my final scan and a date for induction all of a sudden everything was very real and very exciting!

Ha ha, i had presumed so, just as mind should have said blood flow not blood glue!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Beaglemum93 @Frillyfarmer thank you. Busy day at work tomorrow so will hopefully slightly distract me but I know they're doing something for someone going off on mat leave too which means I'm gonna feel double shite tomorrow. Doesn't rain it pours.

@Yukka tomorrow we'll know when we will have a baby Yukka!

Hi ladies,

I don't have much time (actually energy) to write a proper post this evening. I'm on my way to bed. Will reply to more of you tomorrow.

I just wanted to drop in to offer a big hug to @FirstTimeMama91. I'm so sorry today wasn't better news. Look after yourself. Ride those waves of emotion. Keep in touch. xxx

Hope the scan goes well tomorrow @InDreamland

@KnitKitty hope you have a good night's sleep. Great sign baby is growing strong if you're so exhausted.

@Amanda81 thank you. With my almost non existent symptoms I know I should expect the worst tomorrow.

@InDreamland
Fingers crossed for tomorrow. Thinking of you

Thanks ladies good luck to you all and I will hopefully talk to you soon xxx

Thanks @Melpops36

@FirstTimeMama91 see you again very soon x

@InDreamland Thinking of you for the scan today. xxx

Hope today goes well @yukka! So exciting!

Thinking of you @InDreamland xxx

Good luck today @InDreamland I hope it goes well xx

Morning ladies,
I hope you all have a good day today and are feeling alright.

I'm really sorry to read that a few of you have had less-than-supportive experiences with family and friends.

@Kintan I'm sorry you don't feel able to get the support you need on the other thread at the moment. I'm sure things will settle down. There's just so many emotions around and sometimes it's bound to come out the wrong way; intentionally or not. You are of course welcome to post here if you don't find reading the pregnancy updates too difficult. (And you can always skim past those and post "selfishly" if you need to; no need to keep up with everything that's going on with everyone). I'm sure you will get your BFP soon. I hope you're recovering well from the MMC at the moment. I had a MMC last year and it was the most difficult one to 'get over' emotionally for me.

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue What a lovely scan picture! Congratulations! Baby boy! Yey!!! And don't worry; you haven't jinxed it... I completely understand your fear , but think of it this way: you're supposed to buy maternity clothes when you're pregnant; it doesn't jinx people. Sometimes there are sad coincidences, but no jinxes.

@theAntsareMyFriends I've already told a few close family members, but I'm not sure about the rest of the world. I'll play it by ear I think. There are no set rules; do what feels right for you.

@Amanda81 Definitely talk to the midwife about your anxiety. Mine encouraged me to do so if I needed to.
I used mindful breathing when I feel at my worst, you can probably find tutorials online. I find it really helps me calm down and stops the thoughts swirling round.
I also talk to myself (either in my head or out loud if alone), and comfort myself as though I was talking to an anxious friend... somehow it displaces the anxiety and I feel more able to cope with it like that; it also allows more positive thoughts to spark up in my brain from the 'comforting voice'.

@Yukka I'm sorry, but those scans gave me a laugh. Teehee! I'm sure it won't come out looking like an alien! Good luck with your appointment today. x

@Bluebelltulip I'm glad you had a better day. xxx