The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@Bluebelltulip just been for a wee and again a small amount the size of a 5p piece of brown on my pad. Very slight smear of brown I think when I wiped too. This is such a head f**k. Good job you have some outfits you can disguise your bump with, will you get them out after the holiday?

@InDreamland pulling and pressure is a really good sign. Maybe stop the workouts for a few weeks, let things settle. Are you going to book a private scan at all?

@hayleyfx great news on the scan x

Thanks @Amanda81 glad you found it helpful. The acupuncturist has been my godsend through all of this, she’s so smart and makes it all makes sense.

Ive just been for 34 w checks today. All is good. Baby’s head is at ‘the brim’ meaning starting to engage. I’ve been told to stop the aspirin at the end of next week to let my normal clotting process kick in. Next appointment is 2 weeks and they’ll confirm a date for induction. Once I go in I’ll stay in till baby is born so that we are both monitored. Feels like all of a sudden we’re really gearing up for birth here! Feeling focussed and ready to do whatever it takes.

Stay hopeful ladies xx

@Yukka that is so exciting you're so close now. Are you all prepared with baby's stuff all bought? I am still unsure about an early scan. I'm just scared about biking one and jinxing it or having one and then losing it soon after anyway. I am just trying to get through one second at a time and right now I am not confident I'll even make it to the end of the week. I know I need to try stay positive, I'm just finding it too hard.

Just a quick update from me-scan today went well, measuring a few days ahead at 11+1-it was incredible to see! Theyve moved my dating scan to a week today as otherwise bub May have been too big for screening, if we decide to have it. Booking appt on Saturday. Thanks for all the support it means a lot x

Amazing @hayleyfx what a fantastic scan. Is your next scan the 12 weeks scan or do you plan to have another in between?

Exactly 1 week after I got 2-3 on CB digital it's still saying 2-3 this morning. Looks like HCG isn't rising like it should. just waiting now for the inevitable to happen, just hard not knowing when.

@Laney79 that's great news on your scan.

Not to give you false hope, as I know that probably isn't what you want to hear @InDreamland but I bloody hate those digital tests!! With my daughter mine never went to 3+. I freaked myself out and worried for weeks. I also read a lot online about them and the general consensus is they are really unreliable. I think they have been banned in the US. Anyway, DD obviously arrived and I gave up using those things after that. Remember if you have no bleeding at this stage there is nothing to worry about. If you want reassurance then get your GP to do blood tests to see if your hcg levels are rising.

@Laney79 great news on the scan! @hayleyfx lovely pic! 😍

My 12 week scan is next Tuesday morning. Bricking it. Should be 12+2/3ish then.

Also I have to call the fetal medicine centre today for my Harmony results. So nervous.

So I think I have a stomach bug. Really bad cramps and having to go to the toilet loads. I'm worried all the cramping in my stomach will somehow dislodge my wee bean. I know that's probably not the case but I still worry.

@InDreamland I don't use those tests at all cuz I've heard they can be unreliable. Have you had anymore bleeding?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thank you for trying to help with the anxiety. With DHs sperm results I know this is not going to end well, I suppose I just had that tiny bit of hope for a miracle but I am also realistic, we lost 2 last year so can't see how this one will be different. Fx for your harmony results today! And your scan next week.

@tinatsarina I've not had any more since the tiny bit of brown on the pad last night but that is how mc cam start, very small slow bit like a warning then it'll just come full force. I'm only 5+1 (maybe 5+3 max) and so many women still wouldn't know they were at this stage. Hope your tummy bug goes quickly. Could it be hormones causing you to go to the loo?

@InDreamland I'm not sure cuz I work with kids and one had d+v the other week but I've lost my voice to

know that in these situations all you want to do is prepare yourself for the worst, I will remain hopeful for a miracle for you @InDreamland. This is so stressful and the waiting and anxiety is like torture. I really hope you can take it easy today or at least find some sort of distraction to keep you going.

I haven't had time to call for my results yet and won't have until the afternoon - work is crazy busy which is hard when I feel so tired. The nausea seems to be dropping off which is panicking me but then I should be 12 weeks on Sunday. Didn't ever feel this bad with DD and didn't worry as much so can't remember!

@InDreamland when I used the CB digital it stayed at 2-3 for longer than I thought it would and then I had spotting then got EPU blood tests and scan which revealed all was ok. I totally understand your pessimism but I'm going to stay super hopeful for you.

Good news from my Harmony results, everything has come back super low risk.

Also, they have emailed the sex to me. Thought I should wait for my husband before finding out so we will open together tonight!

I'm relieved as feels like another one of my worries has been overcome, although now I'm going to stress about my scan on Tuesday. I'm so nervous and now convinced something will be wrong with that. I have realised I am never going to get to a point where I relax in this pregnancy

Hello lovely ladies. Great to hear about all the good news on here. X

@InDreamland STEP AWAY FROM THE TESTS

No really, I completely understand why you are doing this, I also understand your high levels of anxiety and fearing the worse.

Could you ring and nag your drs? Ask for a hcg test at least so you actually know?

Miracles do happen, but at the same time I understand your worries. A HCG test repeated will likely give you an answer though.

My drs are normally awful but they did refer me for an early scan- i need to cancel that as obviously don’t need it now.

Sending my love- I felt like with us being around the same weeks we were kind of going through the anxiety at the same time. X

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that is fantastic news. Having a good harmony scan is such a milestone. How exciting that you are finding out the sex. Do you have an inkling as to what it is?

That's great news @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue good luck for your scan too.

@indreamland please phone your gp and tell them what’s happening. They may do hcg or they may book you in for a scan next week if nothing changes. I’m not convinced at all that this is progressing quickly enough for mc, especially as it wouldn’t be an MMC and the discharge is brown and infrequent - 2 tiny bits in 3 days? If you were to mc they may also want the remains for testing which could be invaluable especially as you can’t do ivf. There a several scenarios now that make phoning your gp a good idea...

Don’t forget - pregnancy after multiple mc where nothing changed other than increased check ups also increased successful pregnancy outcomes. Just by being seen and talking more frequently can improve your ability to have a successful pregnancy.

I can’t encourage you enough to phone them .. own this pregnancy and fight for it, you have nothing to lose xx I honestly know it’s tough but we’ll all hold you up right the way through no matter what happens xx

Really please for the latest scans and harmony tests 😊 xx

@tinatsarina I hope whatever it is it isn't serious and you feel better quickly. Bad enough dealing with being pregnant after loss, you don't need to be ill on top.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue great news on your results, so exciting you're finding out what flavour you're having! Are we allowed to know when you find out? Thank you for being hopeful for me, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it together.

@Newbie21 thank you. How long was yours on 2-3 before it went 3+?

@rubyroot thank you. I know I need to stop but I just can't help it, I'm so anxious. Keep feeling unpregnant and panicking then I feel something and think maybe I still am. How are you?

@Yukka thank you. I'm wondering if I complete the midwife registration form that I've been putting off and on there tick the box for contacting me immediately about concerns. I just was avoiding registering as I don't wanna go through all the booking forms and get scan date etc if I'm going to lose this one too.

This was my scan today, dated around 5 1/2 weeks! I was so shocked but happy to see heartbeat straight away. Especially being this early. To me it's a sign this is my rainbow baby!

@Indreamland yes do the form - you’re carrying the weight of a pretty big ‘if’ on your shoulders. I know I’m a super positive person but I’m really not convinced your loosing it when you look back at the last few days xx

Lovely scan @nzs2019 !

@nzs2019 glad the scan went well.

@InDreamland I think it is best if you do the form or even just talk to a GP. Try not to think about it being pointless and think about it more as getting support whatever happens. You are in a tough situation and the midwife and GP are there to support you.

@InDreamland I'd echo Yukka in urging you to get some care. Evidence shows that early frequent scans can help women prone to miscarriages hold onto our pregnancies. Call your GP now and ask for an early scan and HCG bloods. When you're 6wks you can just turn up at EPU and ask too - this is what I did and they scanned me. Milestones are really important. FWIW my midwife told me to only seek help for blood if it's more than a teaspoon of red blood.

nzs2019 lovely news

Myheartisbrokebutihavesomeglue hooray for the harmony test! You may not relax for a while, the 1st tri is rough, but that doesn't mean this has to spoil your pregnancy. Once you get beyond the anomaly scan at 20wks there's usually nothing left to worry about. You may even find it boring!

@laney79 and @haleyfx congratulations on the scans! Seeing a heartbeat beyond 8wks dramatically reduces your MC risk.

Wishing everyone good things and lots of visits from the progesterone fairy. Pregnancy after MC is so rough, such a shame we can't have a glass of wine

Do the form @InDreamland! Don't look at it as jinxing things look at it as Yukka says in that you are fighting for this pregnancy by attempting to get all the support you need.

Congrats on the scan @nzs2019!

Thanks @SerenaOverjoyed. I remember with my DD I was so calm despite loads of issues! I bled right up until 24 weeks and had a few movement scares, was in and out of maternity triage more times than I care to count! But I didn't ever question loosing her if that makes sense. I just took it as a given that I was pregnant and would have the baby. I would love to have that outlook now instead of the up and down anxiety! I think once you can feel movement (which apparently happens quicker second tone around!) you tend to relax a bit more, but my naivety has definitely gone and I am much more cautious now.

Sorry I've not been around much the last couple of days. Morning sickness and fatigue hit really hard (yey!) so I've just been in survival mode. I saw the GP about my weird rash yesterday and she said it sounds/looks like allergies... No idea what I might have become allergic to, but the rash hasn't appeared this evening (for the first time in 3 days), so who knows... Anyway, she wasn't worried at all about it so I feel reassured.
I went to the supermarket after work today to pick up loads of different snacks, including ginger biscuits and ginger beer... My goodness the ginger beer works!!!! Hooray! Hopefully it wasn't just a coincidence drinking it and stopping feeling nauseated... I've been throwing up a lot and going off most foods this week so I'm struggling to find things to eat. I feel really unhealthy because all I want is carbs and stodge. I threw up a lovely stir-fry yesterday. I couldn't even swallow the cabbage. So I'm surviving on bread and pasta and crackers... But I guess it's energy. I'm trying to stay hydrated which is easier said than done because drinking water seems to make me want to puke... I'm having to take tiny sips constantly which is annoying. And brushing my teeth has become a mega challenge. I forgot to buy mouthwash... But then I can't gargle either, so... Any tips on keeping my mouth clean?
As rubbish as I feel though, I feel much better emotionally for suffering so badly!

@Yukka I really liked what you put about believing in the pregnancy and keeping your mind calm. I feel like I'm slowly relaxing into this pregnancy, which is scary, but I want to believe it's happening as it should and I know that worrying about it won't change anything except make me more stressed.
How exciting about baby gearing up to be born! These last few weeks are going to whizz by!

Love the scan pictures @Amanda81, hayleyfx and @nzs2019.

@DiviyaSalana80 Hello! Welcome. You might also find the sister thread really helpful for TTC after loss. There are others going through IVF on there too. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3584529-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-Thread-30-huddle-up-and-bring-on-the-BFPs

@Laney79 I am soooo pleased the scan went well! Congrats!! Remember over a year ago when we were both on the miscarriage boards? It seems like we're heading in the right direction now.

@InDreamland I haven't used digitals with this pregnancy for this precise reason... they're not reliable. Please don't panic! I would also encourage you to speak to your GP and ask for HCG tests for the reassurance if you don't like the idea of early scans.

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue Great news about the harmony test. How exciting about finding out the gender!!!

How is everyone doing today?