The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@InDreamland it never went to 3+ I stopped checking. After I got the two 2-3s and then had the spotting I manically googled saw a log of stuff about how unreliable and then I had the HCG tests which were fine so I decided not to stress myself out unnecessarily. If you feel concerned then definitely speak to go and get HCG tests. The cbs are not reliable week indicators for all.

@KnitKitty sorry you feel so cr@p but yay! And good that the ginger beer works!

I am slightly freaking out as I have no symptoms. The boobs aren't sore anymore. Really really worried that it's another MMC and that i get to end of holiday and go for my scan and discover no heartbeat. I want to feel optimistic but I just want some symptoms, I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything but I would be reassured if I felt a bit sick or something. I didn't like the thought of coffee today so I suppose that is something. I always usually go off coffee but that has been the case whether it be successful MC or not.

@InDreamland get to the docs and get your hcg tested. Listen to us

I’m surprisingly good, thank you. After a tfmr at 13 weeks this has gone surprisingly smoothly and I’ve accepted it as just one of those things.

I’m accepting that I may have an only, but I’m still going to try for another.

I feel like I have myself to blame- I should have started this baby making earlier if I wanted a smoother ride

@Newbie21 how far along are you. Once placenta takes over the hormones are less strong

It’s probably nothing

@rubyroot I'm only 6+5 so should be in symptom territory but I know I didn't really get any symptoms with my DS so I keep trying to tell myself I might just be one of those "lucky ones". But after having 3 MCs, I'm now less convinced by anything. I just want to fast forward 6 weeks - have a couple of scans when all is ok, a good harmony test result and then I might just settle... a bit!

@nzs2019 great news on your scan!

@Yukka @Bluebelltulip @SerenaOverjoyed @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @KnitKitty @rubyroot ok so I might do the form later. It's a major thing for me as you know and guess some of you probably felt similar about registering with the midwife again or even acknowledging the pregnancy early on. I had a good cry last night on DH, told him how I felt and that he has no idea how every second I'm petrified of starting our 3rd mc, especially when I'm out and about. Travelling every day on the tube isn't helping but I have no choice as I work in London. I had a teeny bit more brown on a pad last night after dinner and I swear a very light pink tinge when I wiped but maybe I was imagining it, maybe I wasn't, I just don't know anymore. Nothing else since.

@KnitKitty glad you're getting really strong symptoms even if it makes you feel awful it's a good sign.

@rubyroot nice to hear you are so positive right now. I wish I could be like that. Fx you get your rainbow soon x

Thanks @Newbie21 maybe I just need to ignore anymore tests - I just can't help myself. Fx you are just one of the lucky ones and this is nice and smooth .

Anyone else travel on the tube every day for work? Sucks right? I'm okay when I feel okay apart from the pushing and shoving but when I'm feeling lightheaded not good.

@Newbie21 try not to worry about any symptoms lovely. My nausea appeared bang on 7 weeks and while it comes and goes for a few days, it's pretty much always there! It's horrible and I haven't eaten properly in weeks - all I want is toast and cheese spread. Healthy Also with my DD I had hardly any nausea so it doesn't mean anything xxx

@InDreamland I travel on the tube and find it so hard. I can't bring myself to get a Baby On Board badge (another thing to jinx it!) and I struggle everyday as want to sit down so badly. It gets worse the bigger you get and no one pays any attention to the badge! Also I used to be really worried about people pushing me or falling on my bump! The joys of London commuting! 😩

@InDreamland I used to battle the northern line each day but now I've moved out of town so get versions straight into Liv st. Definitely get the badge when you feel comfortable. I never got rid of mine from my pregnancy with my son so will dig it out when the time comes. I used to hate it when people purposely looked the other way to make out they haven't seen you so they aren't the ones to have to offer the seat. So ridiculous. Make sure you always have water with you. I used to have water and a cereal bar just in case.

Where are you having your Harmony @newbie? If you're in London I can recommend the fetal medicine centre - it's my first foray into private healthcare and I felt so out of place! A world away from the nhs! (Which I love and am not criticising at all!)

@InDreamland crying is good and glad your DH has been supportive. Also good news that the bleeding hasn't got worse. Can you book an early scab for 6 or 7 weeks?

Finally - I haven't received my email with the sex so don't know yet! To be honest I'm not really bothered. Be lovely to have another girl, I'm one of two girls and would love a sister for DD. But would also be amazing to have one of each. I'm not even going to chase it though (will get a letter soon anyway) because I don't really care - I just want a healthy baby.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I've only booked one harmony test before and going for the scan at the time of the test was how I found out about my first MMC so slightly traumatised by it. The sonographer was absolutely lovely though. It was on Harley St I'd need to go through old emails to find out who it was but I may go with your recommendation. I'll only book it after I have my next scan at EPU on 1st July. I've also got my recurrent miscarriage appointment on 8 July which I'm not cancelling until after the scan to ensure I don't need it.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue did you find out the sec with your first? I'm not sure whether to find out or not. I didn't find out with DS but I kind of knew I was having a boy or assumed I was for some reason I didn't care either way but I got so excited with prospect of a boy I then got worried I'd be disappointed if it wasn't which I'm pretty sure would be ridiculous. A healthy little bundle is all I care about. For No. 2 I think like you - I'm one of 2 girls so be nice for DA to have a little bro but then it'd be lovely to have one of each.

@Newbie21 I'm the same don't care what it is as long as it's healthy.

I found out with my first @Newbie21 because I am impatient and not one for waiting! Not really because I cared either way. I was utterly convinced I was having a boy. But it was nice to know, it made it more real somehow and I think it helped DH to bond. We're so connected with our babies and bodies from the minute we get pregnant so I do think it helped him to visualise and get into it a bit more.

Anyway, the email is here but I haven't opened it! Will wait for DH to get in!

@Zznorth well at my last scan baby measured a few days behind so we’re all caught up now which was a relief! So 3-4 days ahead of what we thought 😁

@Newbie21 next one will be the 12 week scan as I’ve just had my appointment letter through the post today and it’s in exactly 3 weeks, nervous!

I’ve been at the doctors today as I’ve been vomiting so much that I’ve slightly torn my osophagus! I’ve been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. Doctor prescribed me cyclizine and ranitidine to give my throat a chance to heal. So I’m now on 7 medications for this pregnancy! 🤣 all worth it though 😊

I hope the medication helps you feel better soon @hayleyfx.

I didn't find out the sex with my DD's and won't this time either. I think I would struggle knowing the information was in an email and waiting to open it though @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue. I find it exciting that it's possible to know this early even though I'm finding out.

Last line of previous message should be even though I'm not finding out.

@hayleyfx glad you've got some meds. That sounds awful. You poor thing.

I'm going to have to tell the Father in law. He's just joined us at the villa on holiday so it's a matter of time before he clocks the lack of gin and tonics and fizz lol. I just walked past a bar man hauling a huge crate of Whispering Angel rose - it's my favourite rose. Highly recommend for any rose fans for about 8 months time. Lol

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how exciting that you have the email. Can I guess? I'm going to say boy.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I totally get not wanting to get the badge so as not to jinx it. I feel the same, I still have my one from pregnancy #1 and TBH hated wearing the damn thing, that said most of the time people were kind and offered a seat, I can only remember a couple of times where I was blatantly ignored, people stared but still didn't offer. I don't want to get it back out as don't want to tempt fate but also I just hate wearing it. I see so many women with very flat stomachs wearing it and I always think "you're confident". Guess my whole mindset has changed after 2 mc's. I do wish sometimes though people just could know for sure and just let me sit down before I pass out on them. I'm not sure I am ready to think about an early scan. In other words I can see benefits but also too scared to. When do you think you will bring out the badge? Any news from the email? I'm so nosey!

@Newbie21 I'll get the badge out maybe after I've seen a heartbeat which is likely to never happen. How will your FIL take the news? Hope he's excited. I'm with you on only hoping for a healthy pregnancy and live birth and a happy healthy baby to bring home, I really don't care what flavour I have. Ooh are we playing a guessing game? I'm gonna go for girl! @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue you'll have to tell us soon

@hayleyfx goodness that sounds so painful! You poor love but ..........when it's that bad isn't it a very good sign of a healthy pregnancy? Hope you're being well looked after.

So I've still not done the form yet. Honestly far too busy at work. I'll try do tonight maybe. I'm still a bit anxious doing it. Got acupuncture tomorrow, will probably start bleeding tonight or tomorrow morning now. Again had the teensiest bit of brown on the pad today, like a tiny bit.

It finally happened girls!! Got my BFP. Nerves are wrecked lol ah x

I'm going to jump on here as well girls, fingers crossed this one sticks and it's third time lucky for me. I'm only 10DPO but I've spoken to GP and got an appointment - I figured it was sensible to log it either way as I'll want referring if I have another MC.

@FirstTimeMama91 @Frillyfarmer Congratulations! So lovely to see you here!

@InDreamland thanks lovely!

@Frillyfarmer congratulations!!

Lovely to see you all here!!

How far along is everyone? I can't work out anything. Last cycle was so messed up. Think I ovulated about 10 days ago

Congratulations @FrillyFarmer and @FirstTimeMama91 welcome to this thread.

I filled in the form, pressed submit online and no idea if it actually went though. Nothing on the page after pressing submit to form successfully submitted or anything at all, just a page with the name of the team. So now what ...........?

@Frillyfarmer!!!!!!! So great to have you here! And congrats and to @FirstTimeMama91! Welcome to the crazy!

So we read the email... delighted to say you were right @Newbie21 and it's a boy! Feel amazingly lucky that I could have daughter and a son... My husband and I both cried and got really excited for a bit... and now I'm back to thinking I've jinxed it and that something will go wrong because I now feel even more attached to this little one because knowing the sex has made it seem real. I couldn't bear for this to be taken away from me 😞

@hayleyfx that sounds horrible you poor thing! Get lots of rest and keep focused which it sounds like you are!

How is everyone else? xxx