The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@KnitKitty @coconutlatte44

Excellent news both of you, long may it continue.

@coconutlatte44 please don’t be concerned by measurements at this stage it’s likely the sonographer will be out as there’s very little margin for error

@moonpeace yes I've got a scan this morning. When I was pregnant with DD1 I had an increase in migraines so it may not be a bad sign.

Hi @Littlebittasunshine and welcome.

Congratulations @InDreamland, absolute agree that you shouldn't put your life on hold. Hopefully the promotion will be a bit of a distraction and something to focus on. Although I know that's easier said than done!

Good luck today @Bluebelltulip xxx

@moonpeace I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all this anxiety and the agony of migraines. I know nothing I say will take away your worry but the migraines really could be a symptom, apparently they are quite common in early pregnancy, one of my friends suffered a lot from them. They could also be down to stress, I know in the past when I have suffered it has been stress/anxiety related. As could the sweating, it could be related to pregnancy dreams and hormones. I don't want to rubbish your concerns, as you know your body. The thing is pregnancy hormones are crazy and this is a weird time even without all the anxiety of reaching this critical point in your pregnancy. It really could be signs of things progressing normally. Try and rest as much as you can and keep off loading on here xxxx

Posted to soon - I really think I need to buy some maternity clothes. Or at least jeans (which I live in, work in media and my office is very casual!) But I want to wait until after my Harmony results and dating scan which will take me past 12 weeks. All my maternity clothes from last time have been binned and I literally have about three dresses I can wear comfortably. But feel like if I buy anything now I'm jinxing it...

@Bluebelltulip and @UnicornsandRainbows1 Good luck for your scans today.

@InDreamland congratulations on the promotion.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I hope you are feeling better today. I've put on weight generally so when the time comes will have to buy new mat clothes. I understand the jinxing thing, I was like that about my booking in appointment but at the end of the day, what will happen will happen and fingers crossed all will be well but you will need clothes to wear so best get shopping x

@Littlebittasunshine pregnancy after loss is very very different but hopefully there will come a time that you will be excited (even if cautiously). Speak to your midwife about your concerns if it's getting you very down but just to say your thinking isn't unusual and many of us ladies share that fear and stress which stops us relaxing and enjoying being pregnant.

Scan went well, currently estimating 10+1 which is 5 days ahead but could change by the time I have the 12 week one. It was hard and hearing a normal heart beat was nice but upsetting too.

@Bluebelltulip that's lovely news and I hope you can start to enjoy your pregnancy soon.

It must be an anxious time for you, but it's likely what happened to you was just some awful luck, some weird chance event. I really doubt lightening will strike twice.

Though I can understand why you would be completely worried. Sending my thoughts

@moonpeace waiting for/between scans is awful. I hope Wednesday comes as quickly as it can. Husbands can be useless can't they?! I haven't asked mine to come to any scans because in some ways I find it easier to go alone, no small talk before hand when I am generally feeling at peak anxiety. But mine hasn't offered so far either, although he has booked time off work to come to my dating scan. I hope yours gets his act together and goes with you Wednesday! Also hope the migraines die down.

@Bluebelltulip I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. But it is great news and I hope you feel somewhat reassured, for now at least. I feel like scans give you reassurance for a couple of days and then it's back to worrying about every twinge and feeling.

I have decided I can survive until the 25th which is my next scan, but I am going to be walking round with my top button undone! I just don't feel comfortable buying anything else yet!

Anyone else here having the Harmony screening test? Will you still be bothering with nhs screening? Everything I have read says not to bother as Harmony is more accurate, but can I still get the nhs dating scan? The Fetal Medical Centre, where I have had the Harmony done, does a nuchal scan too but I want as many scans as I can get! Nhs one booked for 25th, private one 2nd.

Hi @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - I had the harmony test on Tuesday of this week and have received my results today! All low possibility (amazing). The phone call I received today from the genetics office was scary, as I thought you only got a call if it was bad news. I have my 12 wk scan on Tuesday next week and we are not going to bother with the combined testing through the NHS we think. The only reason why I would do it is if to see if my instinct of getting a bad NHS result was correct. It's also great finding out the sex if the baby. Just got to get through next Tuesday now 😬😬😬😬

Where did you have it done @Amanda81? I got told to call the Fetal Medicine Centre in a week and they would have the results... nervous! Also finding out the sex too!

Hey @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - I had it done at ultrasound direct which is linked to mothercare where I live. Looked at other locations, but this gave the option of having my blood drawn at a different location, as i don't give blood easily. They where happy to give me the test pack and have my bloods drawn at my GP, who has the knack of getting the blood out of me. They did have three attempts at ultrasound direct, but I wasn't giving any away. So you get yours next week...very exciting! But so very nerve wracking. It's so nice to find out the sex of the baby so early. I just hipe the scan is going to be okay next week.

For those who are past the 12 wk mark, have your symptoms started to reduce now?

@Amanda81 sorry - I'm rushing about trying to get ready to go out and not throw up! Great news yours is all low risk! What flavour are you having?!

Haha @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm the same. Late lunch out. We are having a girl 💖

Amanda Aww a girl! Lovely! Are you the first on the thread to find out? We're getting the harmony test done next week and apparently the results take 10 days to come back. We're all expecting it to be a boy as DH's family don't seem to make girls lol.

It's funny how different parts of the country do things differently. We go private in Malaysia and can basically go see the Dr whenever we want. I've been going every two weeks for the first trimester because of bleeding and previous miscarriage, it'll go down to once a month after the harmony test though. I have to say I love seeing the same person each time (although the checks are less thorough I think - no bloods or urine tests done yet).

I'm coming down with a cold 😭 fever aches combined with my dodgy back anyway are making life so uncomfortable right now! I'd mostly got over my first tri tiredness but had a two hour nap this afternoon!

I hope those of you suffering with nausea and tiredness start to come out the other side soon, I really improved over the last week (after 10 weeks) and meals aren't an ordeal anymore.

Scan all done, thought I was 6+4 (7 weeks going by mc but I ovulated a bit later). Bubs is measuring 6+6 which is nice though :)

@Kinsters it's nice that you get checked up on every couple of weeks. Here in the UK I feel like you are pretty much left to your own devices until 12 weeks. TBH I have preferred that this time round as I have taken more control over it and am less naive about the whole thing. I'm pleased you said that your symptoms have reduced, I was starting to worry as things started to get easier for me at the beginning of this week (I was 11+4).

Great news on the scan @UnicornsandRainbows1

Congratulations @Unicornsandrainbows1 and @Amanda81.

I've just had a lovely long nap, slept longer than DD and DH has now taken her to a party so I can rest more.

Can I join thread please? Currently 14 weeks pregnant. Suffered a loss last year followed by subsequent health hell for most of the year @KnitKitty knows what I’m talking about!!!
Really struggling emotionally and find It hard for people who haven’t suffered a loss to understand? Feeling basically an emotional wreck at the moment then worry what it does to the baby!! Xx

Can I join? Had a MC in February and a CP in April. Got my bfp yesterday. Ovia says I'm only 2+3 so very early. My cp happened at 3+6 so I'm very anxious. With the MC baby measured 8 weeks but bleeding started at 9 weeks was 10 weeks when I got a scan showing there was no heartbeat.

Sorry @KnitKitty don't think I answered your question about milestones. I need to get through this weekend. We lost #2 at 4+4/4+5 weeks which is where I am this weekend. #1 was an mmc and we didn't find out until 11+4 but didn't pass baby until 12+3. The date I passed #1 was 16th July so I desperately want to still be pregnant then and after that I need to have a good 12 week dating scan but that all seems so far off and I cannot see this one working out. I was panicking this morning thinking I'd started bleeding. I haven't but I'm just expecting to lose this one.

Thanks everyone, I hope the promotion will distract me for a while and hopefully mc#3 when it happens doesn't ruin things.

@moonpeace sorry you're so anxious. Hopefully the migraines are a good sign.

@Bluebelltulip @UnicornsandRainbows1 good news on your scans! It must be such a relief they're healthy at this stage.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I understand the not wanting to jinx it. I feel like that about registering this one. We can do it online now, wasn't like that last year. I like that suggestion of using the hair band.

@Amanda81 so exciting you know you're having a girl!

@Kinsters lovely to see you here. How are things going with this pregnancy?

@Kate3150 lovely you're joining is. You'll find all the ladies here very supportive.

I really do feel so behind everyone. Everyone else if so much further along than I am.

@InDreamland I think my dates are about the same as you, I'm 4+4 today too. I've known for a week but it still feels so early and every day is dragging. Like you I've had a MMC and an earlier loss, it's so hard to stay positive but we're still statistically more likely to have a live birth than not. Fingers crossed this one hangs in there for you and you have plenty to distract yourself with this weekend.

I keep seeing women walking around with huge bumps wishing that was me. I promised myself I wouldn’t be one of those people who wishes their life away but I can’t help it. Not really enjoying all this waiting, this scan that scan. I’d love to meet a calm and relaxed pregnant lady 😂 xx

@hayleyfx Have you found anything which helps with the sickness?

@Newbie21 Have a fantastic holiday!

@InDreamland Congratulations on the promotion! That's amazing news. I totally agree that you shouldn't put life on hold. Hopefully it will serve as a good distraction from pregnancy anxiety and give you something else to think about... But I hope it's not too stressful!
You're not that far behind some of us... it's just those first two-three weeks after BFP drag so much! Hopefully we'll have a few more BFPs join us soon.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I hope you've had a better day today. xx
I understand feeling nervous about buying maternity wear, but maybe just think of it as having a shopping spree and don't concentrate on the maternity side of it... Sounds like you could do with being more comfortable.

Hi @Littlebittasunshine. Being pregnant straight away after MC must be such a mixed-bag of emotions. You've not really had time to mentally heal, so how you are feeling is completely normal. I felt so pregnant with my MMC and yet it all went wrong. This time round it's like my brain is in complete denial, yet so far it's all going well! It's just a coping mechanism, but it's unfortunate that it stops us from enjoying being pregnant. Hopefully as time goes on you will feel more able to be excited about this one too... But if you don't, don't feel bad, it's normal!

@Kate3150 I am so happy that you feel pregnant and that you're 14 weeks now!

@Bluebelltulip Congratulations on the scan. Well done for being brave through it. I'm glad your little one is looking healthy. xxx

@moonpeace I completely understand the anxiety surrounding the migraines, but as others have said, it's probably a good sign because of hormones raging.
The problem is, when we have a loss we associate anything which happened around that time with it, so if it happens again it sends us in to panic... But since you had a migraine a whole week before the MC it seems to me that it was part of the pregnancy, not part of the loss, if that makes sense?
It's also very normal to be sensitive to heat when pregnant... The sweating sounds normal.
Can you talk your concerns over with a midwife or GP?

@Amanda81 Congratulations on having a girl.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Congrats on the good scan result.

@tinatsarina Welcome. Sorry for your losses. I really hope this one is your rainbow! Stay strong!

I've felt shocking today! This cold has come back even worse again; I can't seem to fight it. I've basically been asleep on the sofa all day. Watched a couple of films. And then this evening I threw up while making dinner. A wave of nausea hit out of nowhere. I feel fine again now and actually feel loads more awake since I threw up so wondering if the fatigue was actually hormone related rather than illness related as I thought.
OH is funny though... He doesn't hide the fact he's pleased to see me suffering very well. I haven't had sickness with any previous pregnancy, and he's very supportive and concerned, but I can tell he's feeling good about it at the same time, which is cute. It is somewhat reassuring. Strange how random my morning sickness seems to be though! Maybe it hasn't got going properly yet...

When did you ladies start to feel your uterus getting bigger? Nothing is visible yet, but I can feel it when I bend over and just feeling a bit 'thicker' in the pelvic area. Seems early at 7 weeks.