The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

Hi @KnitKitty,
So happy to hear your news!!
All is well with me, too - strong heartbeat and everything looking good. Only measured 7+5 when I "should" be 8+1 based on last scan, but I keep telling myself that 3 days is nothing this early on. I don't feel quite as reassured as I was expecting to because of this, but I think I will be able to reason my way through it with a bit of effort.

Thanks everyone for all your encouragement!!

So glad your scans when well @KnitKitty and @coconutlatte44

@coconutlatte44 A strong heartbeat is great news, try not to worry too much about the measurements being slightly off in early scans. We were told once that there's like a mm of error either side which is massive when you think about how small they are in the early stages. There's a reason they don't do the dating scan until 12 weeks when they're more than 5cm long.

@KnitKitty Lovely pic! It looks like a little gummy bear! I'm so glad you got to see a heartbeat this time! It looks like the meds are doing their job :)

Quick one to say great news on scans @KnitKitty and @coconutlatte44!

@coconutlatte44 a few days is nothing to worry about, I think they usually say a week. With my MMC last year I knew it was coming as my early scan measured 12 days behind! This time my 7 week scan put me 3 days behind and at my 10 week scan yesterday I got put forward 4 days! A mm really does make so much difference in the early stages and a few days is well within 'normal' xxxx

@KnitKitty- is it you? The lovely lady that gave me all the endo advice and support? It’s Katie xx

@KnitKitty what lovely amazing news and thank you for sharing your scan pic. I'm so happy for you!

@coconutlatte44 sorry you're less reassured than you had hoped to be but like you say 3 days is not a lot at this stage. Good that all seems well otherwise. Keep positive.

@Kintan I think we will all worry until there is a baby in our arms at home. Every little thing will make us panic.

@Zznorth welcome to the group and congratulations on your new pregnancy. Fx that you have a sticky bean in there. We certainly all share the anxiety of pregnancy after loss.

So ladies you'll be proud of me, I didn't POAS this morning!!!!! First morning in a week! Obvs still anxious but had chat with DH last night about the tests from the other 2 pregnancies and the ones I've done this time round seem more what you'd expect to see at this stage. I know every pregnancy is frequent and a HPT cannot tell you if a pregnancy is viable or not but I think these seem more what I'd want to see.

Pregnancy #1 first test was when I was already 5+3. Used evening urine, clear positive on blue dye CB test but the CB digital only said 1-2 when it should have said 3+ or with evening urine might have dropped to 2-3.

Pregnancy #2 I used FRERs. Waited until 2 days after AF was due before I tested. Tested when officially 2, 3 and 4 days late, all with FRER and FMU, whilst there was line progression the lines weren't that strong. At 4+3 or 4+4 started bleeding.

I'm supposed to be 4+2 today, 17 or 18 DPO. Yesterday's CB digital was 2-3 weeks and the tests I took on Wednesday all had strong clear lines.

I am trying to tell myself this one is different to the last two even though I do think still we'll lose it too.

*different not frequent. Sorry.

@KnitKitty yay that is such great news! x

@coconutlatte44 a few day’s behind at this stage is nothing to worry about, a strong heartbeat is brilliant x

@InDreamland well done for your self control, it’s so so tempting to keep poas! x

@Zznorth Congratulation on your pregnancy, keeping my fingers crossed for you :) x

😍heartbeats! So happy for you both KnitKitty and coconutlatte44. Will they be scanning again before 12wks? Regular early scans are weirdly one of the few RMC interventions with an evidence base!

coconutlatte44 Don't give your dates a second's worry, the dates are notoriously unreliable until the 12wk scan. My 6wk scan said I was 5wk 1d, which really freaked me out as I thought the pregnancy was a week behind. At my 12wk scan they put my dates ahead by 1wk, meaning at that 1st scan I was theoretically 7wks pregnant.

Congratulations on your scans @Knitkitty and @Coconutlatte44 that's great news. As others have said three days is nothing at this stage.

I'm hoping for a good scan tomorrow, I'll be 9+3 and hope it helps bridge the gap between now until 12 week one.

Lovely news @KnitKitty and @coconutlatte44 xxx

Brilliant news on the scans ladies!!! Yes!! Keeping everything crossed for you. Had my 15 week appointment yesterday and heard hb on Doppler. Eased my anxiety a little bit!

@Melpops36- I have also been suffering from anxiety, have you found anything that helps? I’m nearly 14 weeks! Think it’s a mixture of existing anxiety, excitement about bub and pregnancy hormones!!! X

coconutlatte44 it really isn't They're working by fractions which can make a big difference anyway. 7+5 is a great date to get to!

KnitKitty Wonderful news for you too! So pleased.

I have my scan tomorrow and I'm completely bricking it.

Hello ladies

I've finally plucked up the courage to dip my toe on the thread, for some reason I felt like I was tempting fate if I joined the thread (you never know still might be). I did lurk on the pregnancy loss thread for a little and can't remember if I contributed, but some of your names look familiar and am pleased to hear that you all find yourself here and have had recent good news. I can very much emphasis and relate to pretty much most of the posts made and once I read the entire thread, I felt like you guys are who are need to share this experience with.

I, like a lot of you, are super anxious and constantly knicker watching! My history is:

MMC Nov 2018, found out at the 12wk scan that the baby measured 10+1. ERPC followed. A natural Mc in March 2019 at 5+5. I then got another +HPT in April (so no AF) and I am currently 12+1. I have had 5 scans already due to the anxiety, which is predominantly led by symptoms (which have fluctuated so much). The last scan (Monday) showed baby dancing around doing somersaults, which brought a few tears to my eyes. I have my NHS dating scan on Tuesday and am bricking it tbh!

Anywho, I just wanted to come away from lurking in the shadows and to say hello 👋

@Kate3150 nothing particularly useful so far! One day at a time I suppose 😫

@Zznorth Hello and welcome! I'm glad you've found us. Sorry for your losses. I hope this new pregnancy is your rainbow forming!

@coconutlatte44 I am so pleased your scan went well too!!! As others have said, don't worry about the measurements. The important thing at this stage is seeing that little heart beating away! When I asked my sonographer today how mine was measuring she said 'just over a cm... which would place you just over 7 weeks, but that's not very reliable at this stage' or something similar. It is true that babies wildly fluctuate in size. I think they get 'growth spurts' so it depends when you're scanned.

@Kate3150 How lovely to see you here!!! Congratulations! (Did you change your name slightly?)

@InDreamland Way to be strong lady! Well done for not testing. You sounds like you're in a slightly better place right now. You're bound to have ups and downs, but I hope as each day goes by you feel better. Do you have a certain week which you see as a mile-stone?

@SerenaOverjoyed I've got another scan in two weeks. I'm pleased about that because I know the anxiety is likely to mount up again. My OH has resigned himself to 7 more months of ups and downs!
I seem to remember your losses were all early like mine. Was it the first time you saw a heartbeat with this current pregnancy? And do you know the sex?

@Melpops I'm glad you heard the heartbeat. Great that the appointment went well!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Best of luck with the scan tomorrow! Will be thinking of you!

@Amanda81 Hi there! Thanks (and well done) for joining. I think we all understand that feeling of not wanting to jinx ourselves... That's why this thread exists, just think of it as a support thread rather than a pregnancy thread. I really hope your scan goes well next week. Wonderful that the previous scan went so well!

Thank you ladies for all the kind messages.

I felt OK this morning until I got onto the ward and when I saw the nurse before my scan I cried and said I didn't feel pregnant and I'd never seen a heartbeat and wasn't feeling hopeful etc etc... She was lovely, gave me tissues. Then I saw the sonographer. Within 30 seconds of putting the probe in she said "there's the baby at the top of the uterus" and I felt a bit shocked... So there IS a baby in there! And then a few seconds later she said "and I can see the heartbeat"... That's when I started crying again.

I'm still in shock I think. Feeling happy but nervous to be happy at the same time. Lots of emotions going on.
Next scan is in 2 weeks... Will be 8+6.
And I bit the bullet and made my midwife appointment at my GPs which is on 1st July.

It's such a weird feeling knowing that being so convinced I'm not pregnant is definitely ALL IN MY HEAD, because I've seen evidence now! I keep telling baby to do its own thing and ignore me... lol

Still a bag of nerves, but feeling a lot better and really pleased I'm further along then any of my other pregnancies... Hopefully this one will just keep going!

@KnitKitty @coconutlatte44 amazing news, congrats! I’m so happy for both of you. It’s so exciting seeing that heartbeat isn’t it 🥰

I’ve been busy with work which is why I haven’t been posting! I’m 8 weeks tomorrow and so sick at the moment. I have another scan on Wednesday, nervous as anything!

@KnitKitty and @coconutlatte44 fantastic news on the scans. Good strong heartbeats is what we want to hear!

I've had a stupidly stressful busy day at work getting everything off my plate before my holiday but now I'm pleased to say I'm on my train home so I can finish packing and get in the holiday mood. If only I could have a large glass of Vino, oh well, I'll cope - that will hopefully have to wait for 8 months!

Welcome to the new Grads and congratulations!

I'm going to catch up on the rest of today's posts as only got so far as the successful scans!

Thanks for the welcome @KnitKitty and congratulations on what sounds to have been a very overwhelming day. I understand the feelings very well, as I was there at the epu myself 6 weeks ago. The care and understanding nature of the sonographers is amazing, but gosh it must be a very difficult job. I also wanted to say to @coconutlatte44 I had an initial scan at the epu at what I thought was 7 weeks and they said I was 6ish weeks, I then went back two weeks later and it was 8ish weeks. The most recent scans I've had the baby has had a massive growth spurt and has made that lost week up in a matter of three weeks. I wouldn't worry about it, but no it's hard not to let the dark thoughts set in.

Wow, you are all so lovely! Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement! I'm a bit disappointed with my reaction as I felt a whole lot of relief until I made the mistake of asking about the dating and then suddenly that relief evaporated even though I know logically it's nothing to worry about!

@Bluebelltulip good luck on your scan tomorrow!

@Amanda81 I lurked/posted a couple of times on the first pregnancy mmc thread so am pleased to hear things are still going well for you.

Thank you @KnitKitty @Kintan I an feeling a bit more positive today (probably shouldn't, tempting fate) so treating myself to Indian takeaway. Mmmmmm. I think I am mentally just preparing myself for the worst and ........ not putting my life on hold ........ been offered a new job and I'm gonna take it. It's internal so I'll be okay for mat leave but feel like I need to do something for me. It'll be a promotion.

@hayleyfx good that you're having sickness. Fx for your scan. Feel like everyone is having scans and I'm really behind everyone in weeks.

@KnitKitty hopefully now you'll feel a little less anxious.

@Bluebelltulip fx for a good scan tomorrow!

@Melpops36 that's so exciting hearing the heartbeat. They do that at midwife appointments? I never got any further than booking in at 8 weeks.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 good luck for you're scan tomorrow too!

@Amanda81 welcome to the group! Hope you have a good scan next week!

@Newbie21 a holiday is well deserved. Must feel good knowing you have time off.

Seriously I feel so far behind everyone. Plus I just don't feel pregnant at all today apart from the very occasional lower abdominal twinge.

Hi @Amanda81 and @Zznorth 👋🏻

Good luck tomorrow @Bluebelltulip!

I will post properly tomorrow - I've had a hard day in that my nausea seems to be at a peak and I've actually thrown up. I don't work Fridays and have my DD all day and I've really struggled! There's been a lot of Peppa Pig! I know it's a good sign but I feel so rubbish I'm going to bed!

Hey all. Thank you for setting up this thread :)
I had a missed mc found on 12 week scan and had d&c on 31st March. 6 weeks later no periods returned and after some blood tests and a scan discovered I was 6 weeks pregnant! ( now 10 weeks) I know I should be overjoyed but I’ve honestly been feeling so stressed and down and not able to enjoy it at all. The first time I was so excited it’s all I could think about. This time I haven’t let myself enjoy it at all. I know everything’s ok I’ve had another scan a week ago and all is well. I just feel so strange about it. After believing I was pregnant for three months and there being nothing there I don’t trust my body now It doesn’t feel real. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Hope I’m in the right place to share this x

@KnitKitty- ahhhh congratulations poppet, I’ve been meaning to send you a msg to see how you’re getting on. I’m so pleased things are going well...
I’m 14 weeks on Sunday 😬, can’t believe it. Anxiety is high but hoping it will reduce as weeks go by. It’s so hard to enjoy and have confidence in a pregnancy when you’ve suffered a loss! I’d love to be more positive but I think it lasted one day when I had my scan now back to worrying lol xx

Congratulations on your promotion @InDreamland you definitely deserve a take away tonight. We had Chinese tonight as neither of us wanted to cook, both feeling really nervous about tomorrow. Yes midwives do check heart beat further on, some will do it from around 16 weeks others won't do it until the 25 week appointment, as it can be difficult to find at 16 weeks and if they don't find it then it isn't grounds for referral as it's classed as too early. My does it at 16 weeks though. It was her checking that found my daughter's heart problem and gave her a chance at treatment.