Should you expect your in laws to help with buying baby stuff?

[Peonyblush1]

Hi all, I’m 31 weeks today and still have a lot of the big stuff to buy for baby we’re kind of waiting for the baby shower to see what other friends and family will be getting us.

My mum and I have done most of shopping we’ve bought all the clothes and small bits and she’s buying my pushchair which is Expensive!

My in-laws have just bought two blankets and a few slogan vests.
I still have the cot, bouncer, car seat base etc to buy ..
We can afford these of course but I feel like they’re not bothering at all, it’s their first grandchild and they have a lot of money (but they’re tight) lol.

I just don’t think it’s fair that my mum is buying one of the most expensive items and they’re not bothering at all or asking us if we need anything :/
I always mention to my MIL that I still need to buy this and that but she still doesn’t seem to ask or anything ..

I don’t know if I’m expecting too much but I just thought they’d be more helpful because they always help other family members and strangers but not their own children .. bizarre?

You sound like a complete CF! Having children is expensive and the reality is that covering those costs is entirely your responsibility. It’s great your mum has helped out and clearly you have arranged a baby shower to try and get more out of people, not it is entirely up to you to provide for your baby/babies. Get them second hand if you cannot afford new.

Complete CF. How rude expecting others to buy everything for you...almost surprised you didn't send out a gift list for the baby shower.

I don't think you should expect anyone to buy you anything when it comes to having a baby. Lovely to get stuff, of course, but your in-laws aren't obligated, regardless of how much money they have.

We didn’t get more than a teddy or sleep suit from either set of grandparents. And didn’t expect it either.

No one ever bought us anytbing when expecting our first. I didn't get an eyelid, I never expected anyone to. We chose to have the baby so we bought all the stuff.

Err no. It’s your child so you pay for it. Where is your partner is all this as I’ve not heard him mentioned at all.

My Mum bought us our pram because she really wanted to and it’s traditional in our family.

I don’t think my PIL really bought us anything expect a couple of baby grows. Many people think it’s bad luck to buy anything before the baby is born. But my PIL helped us out lots of doing washing, house work and stuff when DD arrived.

TBH you sound really immature.

Will you be expecting them to provide free childcare too?

Why should other people buy things which are your responsibility? I imagine you are having a baby shower so that you get presents? One of the reasons why I hate baby showers!

You are being super unreasonable.

They have bought the baby stuff. Your in laws have bought more stuff for the baby than my own parents have for my baby.

Is there some underlying issue you have with your in-laws that’s manifesting itself in this way?

I’m not “CF”. We’ve already bought most of the stuff and we’re doing everything else on our own we just thought it would be nice if they offered to buy something.
We’ve already spent so much on the baby shower and we’re going all out.
we’re not expecting anyone to buy us anything specific they can get us whatever they like. We just don’t want to buy something and find that someone’s already bought it for us that’s why we are waiting.

Just thought they should try to be as helpful or seem excited as my family is?

One of the reasons we are not having more babies is we can't afford them. I have two, DH has none. Babies (and children) are expensive. This is just the beginning in how much they will cost you over their lifetime.

Had they previously offered?

YABU if they offer great - but it's not something you should assume.

Fairly recent grandparent here, I would have liked to have bought more and if they had said can you help with the cot/pram etc I would have. However, they wanted to provide for their baby and they enjoyed doing this together. I bought lots of little useful things and gave them cold hard cash. They never expected anything which think is the right way to be, the baby is your responsibility not your parents.

😂 it’s very kind of your mum to do that but ‘fair’ doesn’t come into it. They don’t have to by anything. I certainly never expected it with either of my children

You are kind of being unreasonable but I do get it. My in laws don't buy my kids much but I think it's because I'm not their daughter. My parents definitely buy more gifts etc.
Just accept it and buy your own stuff

Perhaps guests will turn up at your baby shower without a gift! You shouldn’t assume anyone will buy you anything !

You're going all out on the baby shower?! 😂

I don’t have any issue with them we get on really well.
But they always go on about how they’ve helped out other family’s and bought them tons of clothes, pushchairs and food for them?? That’s good for them it’s nice to help people that’s why I thought they’d help out they’re son too ?

So you’ve spent so much on the baby shower that you can’t affoed to buy things your baby will actually need?!

You sound very immature and grabby.

They bought nothing until DH stamped his little foot. A couple of things had to be sent back - Louis Vuitton cot bedding when they know I'm a Gucci girl.

Try throwing a hissy fit, see where that gets you.

They have already bought you blankets and vests.

Maybe they are waiting for the baby to arrive or maybe they have already bought what they can afford.

Maybe they feel they don't need to buy anything else because you and your family have already gone totally overboard already.

Finally of course you are being a CF!