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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Don't know which dad it is

164 replies

Gab101 · 15/11/2018 14:15

Hello.

I hope this is the right place to be and that I don't get judgement for this as I am very scared!

I am pregnant, I am unsure how many weeks as I haven't had a scan yet.

My last period was 6th of October-9th.

I had sex with someone on the 18th October unprotected, and then again on the 27th and 28th, 27th with the same guy I slept with on the 18th and 28th with a different person.

I took a clear blue digital and it said I was 1-2 weeks which I think means 3-4.

Please can someone help me work out who is more likely to be the dad! The line on a test I did last week Tuesday the 6th October was almost invisible, then did one on the 9th that was more visible and also did the digital on the 9th. It's now the 15th and the line is very obvious and strong so surely that means it was the guy from the 18th October?!

Thanks so much to anyone that helps! 

OP posts:
Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:24

@Alilwolf I can stay at home whilst pregnant and have a lot of savings and my gran sadly passed away last year and I am due a sum from her will that was going to go towards my travels but now will probably be a deposit for a flat. I'm sure my mum would love if I stayed at home for a while! But don't know if I'd want to as I feel I need independence if I'm going to be a mum! And I am based in Scotland

OP posts:
Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:26

@Alilwolf I think I would go it alone and tell them when the baby is born but I am prepared and happy enough to be a single mum as I feel strong and able and am a good person although it doesn't sound like it here! But I am not 100% sure as my head is mush.

OP posts:
cheesefield · 15/11/2018 15:26

Out of curiosity OP, did you intend to get pregnant?

Are the 2 men good people who will be calm and supportive? It might be a good idea to have your mum or someone with you when you speak to them. You're young and you never know how these things are going to go.

Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:26

@BakedBeans47 thanks for that StarHalo

OP posts:
statetrooperstacey · 15/11/2018 15:26

Some really horrible replies here.
Speak to your midwife, explain it to her, they won't even blink at your predicament and certainly won't judge you. They have a little wheel thing that can be quite helpful In Working out when you ovulated and when you likely conceived. Good luck. My guess is the 18th but obviously just a guess.💐

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:27

Well you have 9 months to get things sorted out. I'm sure you're like a rabbit caught in the headlights at the moment. There will be lots of support for you on this website throughout a hopefully healthy pregnancy, but just stay away from AIBU for your own sake. No holds are barred there and if you're vulnerable and not used to this website, it can be hard to take sometimes.

Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:27

@cheesefield honestly I was just being completely stupid and thought there would be no chance I could get pregnant with my hormones being unbalanced from the implant etc. Big mistake I understand and shouldn't have been so stupid but can't change it now.

OP posts:
cheesefield · 15/11/2018 15:29

It sounds like you've got a good family to help you out and some cash behind you, so that's very good news.

Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:29

@statetrooperstacey great response, I really need to speak to the midwife but I've been scared to even start the process! I got folic acid from the doctor but didn't want to speak about it further as I wanted a few more days to get my head round it.

OP posts:
Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:30

@Alilwolf what's an AIBU? X

OP posts:
Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:31

@Alilwolf I feel I know my situation is bad but these people must be pretty bored and unhappy and I am glad I am not like them and there are nice people like you, me, and the other nice people helping

OP posts:
Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:32

It's not the end of the world. In fact, it's the beginning of a new life (albeit in less than ideal circumstances). Shit happens. We fuck up (well I do a lot haha). But hopefully it will all turn out ok.
Other advice for you when posting here. When you've sorted this question out, you might want to name change to avoid people searching your history and being less than supportive say if you do have a pregnancy question as they may not view your circumstances in too attractive a light and can and will use it against you.

Gab101 · 15/11/2018 15:35

@Alilwolf yes your right. It's normal to fuck up and everyone does it! What matters most now is the baby and I am SO happy to be excited under the stress of waiting for finding out any info. How do I change the name of it? Thanks SOOOO much you have really made this a positive experience despite the negative comments!

OP posts:
Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:37

AIBU is a board on here where people ask whether they are being unreasonable. People are usually told that they are in fact totally unreasonable and probably a few choice insults along with that haha. It's probably the busiest board on here, but they really don't play by the Queensbury rules! If you look on Active topics, you'll see the board there and it will give you an idea of what you might face lol. Maybe stick to the pregnancy boards (I think they have some specific to when you are due too, so you can share stuff with women at the same stage of pregnancy).

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:38

I actually don't know how to change your username though I think it can be done, I just set up a new account periodically.

Luxembourgmama · 15/11/2018 15:41

Do you have to tell them? It might ruin things with the guy on the 18th if you tell him? Could you not get a DNA sample from his hairbrush or something?

PurpleDaisies · 15/11/2018 15:42

I think that only happens on tv lux.

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:44

I googled for you to maybe find an estimated due date and found this

What is my due date based on date of conception?
Your due date is calculated by adding 280 days (40 weeks) to the first day of your last menstrual period (assuming a 28 day cycle). Note that your menstrual period and ovulation are counted as the first two weeks of pregnancy. If you deliver on your due date, your baby is actually only 38 weeks old, not 40.

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:46

Ok, so from that, a pregnancy is counted as 40 weeks from the date of your period starting, but obviously, the baby would have been conceived (typically) two weeks after that first date.
I'm confused lol.
You need to talk this through with your doctor/midwife.

ThatOneHurt · 15/11/2018 15:47

The only reason anyone has unprotected sex 4 times with two different men is to get pregnant no matter what the cost.

Why worry about who the father is now? It's too late.
Might as well just call JK when the baby has arrived. And get an STI test for the baby's sake at the very least.

And I agree this is suspiciously familiar...

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:47

I tried this website, but thought it might give me a due date for you based on the 18th of October, but it works the other way. So when you get your due date, that shows an assumed date of conception too.

www.weeksduringpregnancy.com/calculators/duedate.php?month=1&day=11&year=2018

ThatOneHurt · 15/11/2018 15:48

It's normal to fuck up and everyone does it!
This isn't a fuck up. This is very much planned...

Florries · 15/11/2018 15:49

Jeremy Kyle

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:50

Oh ffs 'ThatOneHurt', that post of yours probably hurt this woman too!

You never slept with more than one guy in the same month? Good for you.
You never ever had unprotected sex? Good for you.

This woman is now pregnant, in the undesirable position of not knowing which of them, she fucked up, she admitted she was stupid, but for God's sake keep your pious posting to yourself.

Alilwolf · 15/11/2018 15:51

And if it's a troll, I really don't care.

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