Don't know which dad it is

[Gab101]

Hello.

I hope this is the right place to be and that I don't get judgement for this as I am very scared!

I am pregnant, I am unsure how many weeks as I haven't had a scan yet.

My last period was 6th of October-9th.

I had sex with someone on the 18th October unprotected, and then again on the 27th and 28th, 27th with the same guy I slept with on the 18th and 28th with a different person.

I took a clear blue digital and it said I was 1-2 weeks which I think means 3-4.

Please can someone help me work out who is more likely to be the dad! The line on a test I did last week Tuesday the 6th October was almost invisible, then did one on the 9th that was more visible and also did the digital on the 9th. It's now the 15th and the line is very obvious and strong so surely that means it was the guy from the 18th October?!

Thanks so much to anyone that helps! 

I actually had a Freudian slip at one scan with my consultant. I meant to ask 'Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?'. What came out of my mouth was 'Can you tell if it's black or white?'. I nearly died of embarrassment. He laughed and said, 'why, are you wondering?'. I didn't know what to say, so then he goes 'No, I can't tell whether it's got curly hair or not'.

I couldn't just make up some shit so I said nothing. This is an actual true story. No fucking word of a lie. But he was lovely about it. As it turned out, he was the consultant who performed my c-section and she's happy and healthy and grumpy, but totally worth it. He has retired since. But I'll never forget that, he was just laughing and didn't make a big deal out of it.

Alilwolf just praying and hoping that somehow a miracle happens and they say it's the 18th I conceived!

Unfortunately that won’t hapoen, as they won’t possibly be able to tell you for definite. They can give an educated guess.

Cannot believe how RUDE and horrible people are being to this woman who clearly is in a difficult position and asking for help if other woman, no need to judge just scroll past and stop putting her down!

@Alilwolf oh my god!!!! Well I mean it'll have been all that was going through your head apart from baby's health and well-being. Glad you wouldn't change it! That gives me security, and also glad you didn't have to have a DNA test, go you for having the strength to tell both fathers. Was your mum super mad that you didn't know?

Honey that's one I can't answer for you. I know you're hoping it's one guy and it is likely it is his, but 1. what would he say if you tell him you're pregnant? 2. what would he say if you tell him you're pregnant but you also slept with someone else at the time.

From my experience, they will tell you to fuck off. Now might be a better time, as you're earlier on in the pregnancy, not a heaving single hippopotamus.

The other option (which I'm sure posters here will vehemently disagree with), is to tell Mr 18th that you're pregnant, but don't tell him that you slept with someone else.

It is also highly likely, that he'll run like hell.

I wish it was easier, I really wish it was.

Do you think that you'll do ok on your own?

My mother rang a charitable organisation for help for single mothers (she was the grandmother?) as she couldn't cope. Lol. She is prone to drama though.

@Alilwolf I don't think he would be glad and I think he would encourage abortion as we have spoken about stuff like this but I don't think he would never speak to me again. I think when I really imagine having to co-parent is not feel comfortable as I've not known him THAT long and I really feel like I could do this alone. I honestly wish I could tell 18th guys that but would be scared it doesn't look like him as the other guy has a pretty distinct face.

When you say that both potential daddies look very different, do you mean they are different races?

Honey, I know what you're going through. I really do. Maybe don't make a decision yet. Are either of them still in contact with you?

If they are, I'd try to tell them in person. They'll just block you on text and that will really hurt.
I never pursued the Dad for maintenance or anything like that. He hasn't paid a single red cent. I figured that was my punishment so I take it.
You sound like you've a job and savings so you can also do it alone if it comes to it. The venom directed at you if you admit this to them, may be more than you can actually handle. They're likely to be young and shitting themselves too and will probably block you etc. even if you don't tell them there were two.
Think about it.

Oi! Judgy Folk! Where's the condemnation for the blokes who didn't insist on using a condom? OP didn't get pregnant all by herself did she?

What might be worth noting down somewhere safe, is their full name (I didn't even know dd's dad full name as we had only met about 3 times, he was African, told me a name, but it wasn't one that I remembered). Their home address, their email address (people tend to hold onto the same email address over the years) and telephone number (might change), so that you have those details for your son or daughter to find them if they want to.

I am sure that if one or both of the potential daddies was posting they would have been castigated for not using contraception. The aren't. So they're not.

You need to try to just get those details for your child for the future. Of course it's different if you know where they live, but dd's Dad, was from Nigeria, living in Holland, on holiday with his cousin in London. The only way I've been able to consistently trace him is his email address.

Oi! Judgy Folk! Where's the condemnation for the blokes who didn't insist on using a condom? OP didn't get pregnant all by herself did she?

They’re not on this thread.

A faint positive on the 6th, I'd say would mean you were maybe 14 days post conception, max. If you got pregnant on the 18th, a test on the 6th would be quite a strong positive IME. Obviously it isn't an exact science, but I'd say 10 days post is more likely to be faint than 19 days?

Aliwolf you seem so overinvested now it’s borderong on disturbing.

I think once you have the scan you might have a better idea. Tbh there is no requirement for you to tell either man that you are pregnant. If you are still not sure after your scan I would perhaps consider waiting until you have had the baby and then go from there.

BorderOng on disturbing or not, I won't see someone attacked on here for just getting bloody pregnant!

Auto-corrected by my silly phone but you get my drift.

Look, if you have nothing nice to say, or no advice to give, maybe do one.