Don't know which dad it is

[Gab101]

Hello.

I hope this is the right place to be and that I don't get judgement for this as I am very scared!

I am pregnant, I am unsure how many weeks as I haven't had a scan yet.

My last period was 6th of October-9th.

I had sex with someone on the 18th October unprotected, and then again on the 27th and 28th, 27th with the same guy I slept with on the 18th and 28th with a different person.

I took a clear blue digital and it said I was 1-2 weeks which I think means 3-4.

Please can someone help me work out who is more likely to be the dad! The line on a test I did last week Tuesday the 6th October was almost invisible, then did one on the 9th that was more visible and also did the digital on the 9th. It's now the 15th and the line is very obvious and strong so surely that means it was the guy from the 18th October?!

Thanks so much to anyone that helps! 

You seem a little overinvested alilwolf.

Fwiw, I was underweight for a year and didn't then have a period after coming off the pill for two years, despite getting back to a normal weight. I then had sporadic periods, maybe once every few months. I couldn't by that stage take oral contraceptives as I had had a blood clot in the intervening years. I was also very vulnerable, slept around, completely convinced that I was infertile. To add to that litany of stupidity, I also frequently got drunk and couldn't remember whether I had used a condom or not. And lo and behold, I got pregnant.
Sometimes, we don't come from fantastic backgrounds, can be a bit loose with our morals, or just simply young and foolish.
We're not all saintly.
If this thread is real, you could try to support this fellow human being who is going through an unplanned pregnancy now.

Maybe I'm overinvested because the story resonates with me. Maybe I found myself in the exact same situation. Maybe that's none of your business.

Unfortunately, from personal experience, it's very hard to work out when you got pregnant. I got pregnant after unprotected intercourse the day after my period finished - it happens, dd is living proof. Only a dna test can check parentage - not sure if it's possible to get one before birth though.

It sounds like you have a good family who will be supportive, but do consider the lifetime impact carefully - nobody should judge you whatever you decide, it's up to you. 22 isn't that young, but it's unusual these days so expect a bit of backlash, and probably best if you don't reveal the father dilemma in real life, people can be very judgemental (wrongly). Best wishes

It sounds like you've got a really good family OP and you'll need lots of support. Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck for your scan. Do you think it'd be worth telling both guys? I'm just thinking that maybe better than them not finding out until much later in your pregnancy?

@Alilwolf wow your story is sad to read! How are you now in general life? Did you keep the baby? I wish I could speak to you without the forum as people keep butting in! Thanks for the link, and for the info. Honestly I wasn't on contraception for a long time of being 19-21 and I never got pregnant and did have sex so without having as much of a reason as you I also considered infertility as I was SURE I could've been pregnant previously but never was. The mean comments show mean people and I don't care to give them my time of day so they can keep on hitting me with their wasted words! You don't need to worry about me being a troll I'm really not that and your information and invested time is really really helping me so please feel happy about that

alilwolf if it resonates with you then hand on heart, I would hide the thread if I were you.

The reason being is that I've resonated with people like this before and it's like a dagger in my heart when I find out they are a troll.
You say you don't care but if/when you see the deletion message it really hurts to know you put your experience and feelings out there for some freak behind the keyboard.

@MNHQ I'm not troll hunting, I'm not saying the OP is a troll I'm just warning a poster to be cautious don't suspend me again.

@anniehm it's unusual to get pregnant at 22?? Or something else?

I really wish I hadn't just made the account today and could post pictures to prove my realness. It said I am not allowed to post any images as I am a new user, and admitting I made the account today could make me look more like a troll but I am absolutely not that. I'm shocked to even hear people troll on here and pretend they are in my situation and I'm sorry to those who don't have faith!

I'd really prefer to help this person if she is real. If I'm taken in by a con, it's not the end of the world.

@PoesyCherish I really don't know what to do. It's the hardest decision ever. And both dad's are very different looks wise so I feel I would know by the look of the baby, but I wonder if it is fair to bring a baby into that. I have such guilt I don't know what is the right thing just now.

I don’t think posting pictures proves someone is real.

I'd really prefer to help this person if she is real. If I'm taken in by a con, it's not the end of the world.

That's what I used to say. Then I got sick of being sucked in.

@ThatOneHurt maybe you shouldn't waste your time on potential trolls pages then and help the people in need x

And yes, I kept my baby who is now a grunting brat aged all of 14 who hates me haha! But she's a beautiful child and was the first grandchild so is very much loved despite my mother being traumatised when I first told her. She's academic, popular, sporty, musical. But she doesn't like me these days lol.
Being a single parent is very hard, as you just seem to notice couples with babies more.
But you're young (I was 26) and you seem to have some sense about you, so I hope it works out. It's tough going it alone, so it might pay off in the long run if you could be honest with these guys and then get a DNA test to settle things. They had unprotected sex too. And maybe the actual Dad might want to be involved (my dd's Dad never was).

@Alilwolf wow!!!! She's a big girl now! Well whoever you are and whatever your past your comments show that your a nice understanding genuine person and that matters more than most things! So thanks so much for making me feel more at ease and not like I'm the worst person in the world. I can't imagine anything worse than telling my parents and the 28th date dad that I don't know who the father is and that he could be a dad but it's my own mistake to fix. My child would be the first grandchild too! Although I have 2 older sisters but they are not into children at all! Whereas I love kids and have always loved doing childcare. X

The thing that I'm finding now, is that dd has a half brother and a multitude of cousins. She would have been the second grandchild on his side of the family, and the only female grandchild out of 26.
I have kept in contact in the sidelines just so that she can find him if and when she wants to. She doesn't want to know anything about him. But I know where to find him if she changes her mind. She never had a Dad, so doesn't miss what she's never had.

It was all very stressful at the time. I felt immense shame. But after 6 months, I got back to work, and you just live!

@Alilwolf her and you sound like a good team. It's obviously not the most ideal situation because of complications. It is absolutely do-able though and you've proved it like many other single mums. She is lucky to have the freedom to talk to her dad if Nd when she wants!!

I did have the conversation with both of them. However, my dilemma was slightly more simple. One was black and one was white. So I knew when she was born (she's mixed race, I'm white). But yes, you're not in a loving marriage with a husband who cares about you, so yes, don't delude yourself, this will be difficult. Will you be able to take maternity leave from your job? I also moved countries during the pregnancy so wasn't entitled to maternity leave from an employer. One employer (I was temping, but had been encouraged to interview for the actual permanent job), just let me go when I had to tell them I was pregnant (because of the previous blood clot, I had to attend a clinic every fortnight, which I had to tell her about, I was also starting to show - I was 4 months). Just let me go. I was her PA and she has since been villified on National media for embezzling funds or something, and that just tells you what she was.

Btw, they both told me to go to hell when I told them that I didn't know if they were the father. So be prepared for that too.

@Alilwolf how did you feel on the run up wondering if she would come out mixed race or white? Were you calm or always worried as you had a potential father or was it nothing like that? And how did the men take it? I'm not sure because I'm a nanny and currently I'm due to be leaving my job to travel but I will soon be asking if I can stay and seeing what my options are. My boss is super lovely and I think she would keep me on but in the case of mat leave I'm unsure. I have enough money saved to keep me supported for now though. And would work again after a year

@Alilwolf I honestly think I'd rather they told me to go away and no one had to ever find out. But that's the cowards route, not fair on my child.

@Alilwolf just praying and hoping that somehow a miracle happens and they say it's the 18th I conceived!

I would advise you that you do sort of owe it to them, to give them the opportunity to take responsibility, but don't expect either of them to want anything to do with you.

@Alilwolf do you think I should wait until birth?