Anyone out there who thinks they DON'T want to breastfeed....?

[ballanj]

Clue is in the thread title really!

I'm interested to learn of any expecting mums (old hands and first timers) who were very much of the view that they didn't want to breastfeed, for whatever reasons.

I'm just under 12 weeks, so some way off for me and I may feel differently about it as the months progress, but right now I'm very much thinking 'no'. I know a lot of mums say 'breast is best' but for some reason, no idea as to why, it just doesn't appeal to me as being the option I'd choose. Does this make me a terrible person?! Maybe it's because I don't want to feel like a milking cow and being on demand and wanting my partner and other family members to share in the feeding. Are there any other mums that just express in order to bottle feed? I'd be really interested to know what everyone else really thinks. And please, no judgment or 'this way is the right way' as everyone is different and I'm still trying to find my own way on this and gauge what I really feel! Thanks x

I am pregnant with DC3. I was very much set on bf dc1, but ended up with a crash C-section and that, combined with pcos, created issues with my milk coming in, and I had all kinds of problems, including DS having a tongue tie. I tried and tried and it made me so miserable, so when I had DD I decided not to, as I had so many horrible memories of miserably trying to feed, and felt it really affected the first few weeks of my relationship with DS. I will probably ff DC3 too.

Me. I don't want to. The idea of it makes me shudder and I just want my body back. I read a study that said most of the differences between bf and ff babies are because of other factors. Once class and education are taken into account there is a negligible difference.

My youngest is 7 but decided i didn't want to do it. I did try with my first but absolutely hated it. The whole thing made my skin crawl and I'm really shy so couldn't bear to do it with anyone around. I came up against alot of opposition at the hospital but stuck to my guns and I don't regret it. Some would say I was selfish but as a mum I find your never right whatever you do.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

I probably won't. Breast fed and expressed for my first for about six weeks after a traumatic labour and birth but didn't really work out and formula was so much easier, really helped me mentally too. And now she is three, it's all completely irrelevant although seems like such a massive deal at the time (when it shouldn't.) It is cheaper to breast feed though, we spent a fortune on bottles and formula (and the perfect prep machine which is brilliant!)

My mum never wanted to even try it and didn't with all 3 of us.
I was the same, no way would I even try it. I just didn't want to. Despite trying to be pushed by a very rude community midwife and his student during an appointment, I made it clear to him and in my birth plan that I did not want to breastfeed or express, or even try it. I said i would bring a starter pack of formula with me, and would be using that. And that's what I did.

I never wanted to breastfeed - formula was more convenient (had DT’s but would have used formula if I’d had a single) as DH could share the night feeds. Friends and family were welcomed when they offered to prep or wash bottles or give a feed. Better all round for us. DH is a doctor so I knew there was nothing wrong in using formula.

Those of you that have FF from birth, did you have issues when your milk came in? I BF DS1 for 6 weeks but didn’t work or long term and caused lots of angst so planning to FF DS2 from birth - but I remember the awful pain when I stopped last time - do you still get that if you never start?

I didn't want to with DS. There isn't a particular reason it's just not for me.

I had two children nine years apart and ff both from the outset. Both kids are bright and healthy and I don’t regret a thing.

I didn’t have a reason either, Just didn’t want to.

I bf mine, biggest advantage- their poo didnt smell👍👍🤣

Killed myself over trying to b.feed my first. Second one went straight to formula and it was a dream!

I really didn’t think I’d breastfeed but I decided to do the first couple of feeds so the baby got the colostrum (the really good stuff) and then see what happens.

I ended up breastfeeding for 7 months and it was the best thing I ever did!

Some people aren’t as lucky but I found it was no where near as hard as I’d imagined.

I’d suggest go into it with an open mind and just see what happens. Don’t put any pressure on yourself either way.

I didnt think I KNEW with absolute certainty that I had no intention of BF
People told me I would change my mind but I didn’t and never felt a moments guilt or angst about it. I was an older Mum and quite a confident person anyway so I didn’t feel any pressure, or if I had I would have ignored it
Dc are 13 and 9 now and are great.

I did with my first daughter, mostly expressing and bottle feeding because she didn't get on with the boob. It was a hideous experience which didn't work out for various reasons but I am planning to try again with my next child. I won't enjoy it, I'm dreading it, and will probably only stick it out for three months but to me it's worth it.

I chose to bottle feed from day one for a few reasons (one of them was the gut reaction you describe... just a feeling of... "no"). I did some research, looked at studies and outcomes of breast vs bottle, and also considered my own mental health conditions and how it would pan out for me and baby. In the end it was the right choice for us.

One MW was hostile when I asked about safely making bottles up ("we don't talk about that sort of thing" ). Otherwise, there was no issue once the choice was made. In antenatal class (NHS) the midwife covered both.

It is an intensely personal choice -- I would say among my friends it was a 50/50 split. Some endured serious hardship to breastfeed because they had very strong feelings the opposite way to me. All our babies turned out just fine.

One thing I would say is take premade bottles in your hospital bag if you have made your mind up. It's saves you having to explain your reasons etc and also lets you start off with the brand you want. I am 10+6 now will be doing the same this time. If you did want to try breast first I believe the midwives will give you formula if you decide to stop (but maybe check the hospital policy).

Everyone and their dog will tell you what they think you should do! Smile and nod... it's a good skill to have during pregnancy

Currently 7 weeks and thinking the same! My sister had the most amazing experience breast feeding and is really on at me to do it... SIL tried and struggled physically and then mentally - swapped to formula and things got much better.

My plan (obviously very early on) is to do the first couple of feeds breast and if I don't like it or find it a struggle I'll change.

Personally, my advice is that you should do whatever feels right for you and don't be guilt tripped by family members nor hospital staff. I am sure you will be a wonderful mom either way xx

The thought of formula feeding makes me shudder and I knew there was no way I would ever bottle feed. It's interesting how people can think completely differently! It's utterly up to you and you should never let anyone else make that decision for you. Go with what your gut tells you.

The only thing I will say for you to just think about a little bit is the colostrum (first milk produced before your milk comes in proper) is incredibly beneficial to baby. You can even express it off and give it in a bottle if you don't want to breastfeed. But it has nutrients and antibodies in that they just can't get from anywhere else, it's much, much better for baby if they get that first milk for a couple of days or so. And then straight to formula! Easy.

Yes I did get very painful swollen breasts etc despite never breastfeeding, it wasn't too bad though. I think it was just for a few days.

No, it doesn’t make you a terrible person, of course not. Make sure it is an informed decision though. Bf has demonstrable health benefits both short term (lower incidence of gastroenteritis) and long term (lifelong lower risk of diabetes, lower incidence of childhood leukaemia, lifelong lower risk for you of breast cancer). To the previous poster who said that once class/education are taken into account, studies show no difference, that only applies to studies which suggest bf babies are smarter, not to the health benefits. You should absolutely make the choice that’s best for your circumstances but do your own research into the risks vs benefits first.

I bf mine, biggest advantage- their poo didnt smell

Surely you want to change a dirty nappy immediately so poo smelling can only be an advantage to prevent your baby sitting in their own shit?

the only advice on pregnancy, birth and child rearing i have ever offered anyone is to be open to anything and prepared to feel differently about something once it actually comes to it!

i found being pregnant itself abhorrent i’ll be honest. i felt like the baby was an alien inside me! was very much not into the idea of birth OR breast feeding at all. i have lot of medical phobias and disgust issues which is very hard to deprogram in myself though i think it’s a wonderful miracle for everyone else!

that said i bf my first dd for 13/14 months and will aim to bf my incoming second. i tried it when she was born and we were very lucky in that it was easy for both of us and went well from the get go.

if you don’t want to now and you don’t ever want to that’s completely fine but just be open to finding your opinion change once reality strikes!

If you're worried about partner sharing the load, I did mixed feeding and my ds was fine with bottles of formula or breast feeding. In the end I mostly breast fed as it was easier. I didn't express as I found that a big hassle. I got lots more sleep breast feeding as I co slept (safely).

Also, your body will change beyond recognition and you will never get your body back the way you had it before having a baby. Breast feeding is a really special thing to share with your baby. I know you've said you've decided, but just to consider that for me and many others it was a lovely loving experience and something that I would hate to have missed out on.

I didn't manage to breast feed my twins, so this was my second go at breast feeding.

I knew I wouldn’t from pregnancy, had to go back to work when both mine were 3 months old, needed routine and just didn’t want to bf. both kids bottlefed had no issues, hospital was fine mw we’re fine hv we’re fine and as a family we were all fine! Your baby, you decide x

We are ttc atm and I don't like the idea of breast feeding at all- DH and his family have strong views that kids should be Breast fed but I was never breast fed so don't quite see how it would be essential to do this