Anyone out there who thinks they DON'T want to breastfeed....?

[ballanj]

Clue is in the thread title really!

I'm interested to learn of any expecting mums (old hands and first timers) who were very much of the view that they didn't want to breastfeed, for whatever reasons.

I'm just under 12 weeks, so some way off for me and I may feel differently about it as the months progress, but right now I'm very much thinking 'no'. I know a lot of mums say 'breast is best' but for some reason, no idea as to why, it just doesn't appeal to me as being the option I'd choose. Does this make me a terrible person?! Maybe it's because I don't want to feel like a milking cow and being on demand and wanting my partner and other family members to share in the feeding. Are there any other mums that just express in order to bottle feed? I'd be really interested to know what everyone else really thinks. And please, no judgment or 'this way is the right way' as everyone is different and I'm still trying to find my own way on this and gauge what I really feel! Thanks x

My DM didn’t want to with my dbro and I. The thought made her cringe and she had absolutely no desire to even try it. When I had my DC I was adamant I would BF, formula didn’t even enter my mind. My DM was quite disparaging of my decision and made some disrespectful comments about me being a cow and how it made her cringe . No idea why she felt so disgusted by it, possibly because women’s breasts are heavily sexualised.

I had no desire to FF and I’m glad I didn’t. My DC have no allergies and are very rarely ill. Could be coincidental but another plus was it saved me a fucking fortune .

I was TTC (now given up) but very much in the “no” camp in terms of gut feel.
It just wouldn’t work for me, all the horror posts on here of having a baby latched on all night, sore nipples etc. Just no. I wouldn't want to be the only feeder-bottles might be a faff to make up but better than the alternative.

I do appreciate that had I actually had a baby might have felt differently and even given it a crack, but gut feeling was always no.

Fed is all that matters, its all personal choice. My mum battled with breastfeeding for 6 weeks so I was mostly formula fed. She went straight to formula with my brother. We are both very healthy children. I think the evidence for health benefits is weak as always a host of socioeconomic factors that are impossible to rule out. There maybe some marginal benefits but its hardly like the evidence for smoking tobacco vs non smokers.

Like all things though it pays to have an open mind. Amongst my peer group it is toughly 50/50 bf vs ff and no-one appears to care publicly at least.

I really wanted to breast feed my first but had problems with my supply ended up mix feeding and then completely moved to formula at 8 weeks. We were both happier so not sure if I will breast feed if I have another. I certainly wouldn't struggle on for so long.
Pumping breast milk and bottle feeding it is the worst of both worlds. My friend pumped for her first who wouldn't latch but how she did it without sending herself insane I don't know as was endless cycle of feeding and pumping. He also has severe reflux too.

I didn’t want to but was pressured into trying by midwives, peer pressure etc.
In the end DS was early and couldn’t so I was saved

Just re. the expressing question really:
I bf my first. With my current pregnancy I am planning to express the occasional feed because my first became a bottle refuser which wasn't ideal, but I am not planning to make this more than one feed a day because expressing is a pain. If you want to avoid feeling like a milk cow I would not advise heavy/exclusive expressing!

I didn't want to and not allowed anyway. I take a medication that would be passed on through my milk so they said no. Not that I minded!

i was open minded when i was pregnant as to whether i’d give it a go or not and i found that’s the best answer to give midwives so you don’t get too pressured. i tried twice after giving birth and found the feeling was horrible. it made me cringe. my DD ended up in hospital for a 10 day stay so i switched to formula.

this time round i won’t be attempting BF at all. and i don’t really feel guilty?! i cannot see any difference between my DD and my friends who breastfed their children except theirs are still all terrible sleepers at 3 🙈 obviously it could just be a coincidence.

You have all been incredibly helpful and more so, reassuring to know that my thoughts are not completely off the scale! As I said, I may well feel differently but it's so good for me to know that ultimately it will be my decision. Believe me, I'm no pushover so whatever other people may think I'll decide what's right for me, whatever that may be!

I was desperate to breastfeed DS. My milk never arrived, we suckled, stimulated - everything. But nothing. No colostrum, nada.

9 months later had a breast cancer scare, which turned out to be periductal mastitis. The doctors said the blockages were likely there while I was pregnant hence not being able to breastfeed.

Not pregnant now, but I know when I have DC2, that I won't even attempt to breastfeed. The guilt I went through afterwards, the sly comments from my MIL about not being able to breastfeed really damaged my relationship with DS. If I make the conscious decision to not do it I can't be disappointed with myself if I can't again.

I hated the idea completely, before I was pregnant and while I was. DP just sort of assumed I would, so I said I’d give it a go but didn’t really intend to do it past colustrum... turned out I loved it despite cracked and bleeding nipples and DS having a tongue tie for five weeks. I ended up doing it for one week shy of a year! Just go with what you want to do in the moment OP, if you don’t want to, you don’t want to, but I didn’t want to right up until DS was on my chest about an hour after birth and turned his head to root for the nipple

I would say give it a go. If you hate it you can always go to formula.

Me!

Tried BF DD1, hated it. FF2 DD2 and will be FF this baby when he's born too.

You don't have to justify it if you simply do not want to BF.

I never did with my dd26 or d's 11 my first was prem so wouldn't take breast needed bottle and never wanted to with my son actually it was a godsend as my dd was 15 when he was born and loved to feed him for me

In your OP you mentioned expressing to breastfeed. This is certainly possible but if you want to make it work you'd need to do it absolutely loads in order to produce enough milk otherwise your supple will quickly drop off. Every time you breast feed a baby you tell your body to make more milk and and more milk making tissue is generated (to a point, this is when you supply 'settles' and is established). Speaking as someone who had to pump 3 hourly, day and night, to try and increase my supply for DS1 who struggled to bf from day one, I honestly can't imagine why anyone would do it through choice. It's bloody hard work. Breastfeeding is SO much easier (after the initial few weeks which are pretty relentless) because your boob is just there, ready to feed any time, any place. I combi fed my first baby and exclusively breast fed my second baby and found exclusively breastfeeding WAY easier all in all.

I did not want to do it, was really determined to express and bottle feed, but turned out that this and almost everything I thought before the birth of my first child wasn't what would happen! I loved BF.

I was the same, as soon as i found out i was pregnant with my 1st 9 yrs ago i said straight away that im not breast feeding. It didn't appeal to me either, i now have 3 children and none were breast fed, they just went straight onto formula.

I much preferred expressing to baby on the boob.

I was absolutely adamant I wouldn't breastfeed; got all the bottle feeding gear and took formula into hospital etc....,as it turned out when DC1 actually arrived breastfeeding him felt like the most natural thing and it was really straightforward so I continued! Fed him till 2yrs old and now BF his baby sibling

I didn't have the energy to express-once I'd got the hang of BF the whole expressing thing and bottle feeding felt like such a faff, as did prepping formula at 3am!!

It's totally fine to have ideas about what you will and won't do once baby is here....but keep an open mind-whatever you chose to do is ok, and it's also ok to change your mind about things

I never wanted to breastfeed, and ff both of mine, it was the right choice for us, I spent many a happy hour gazing into their eyes whilst they were feeding it was fab.

Watch all the kids going into reception class next week, you won’t be able to pick out who was bf and who was ff!

Never had the intention of BF dc1, didn't want to, didn't like the thought of it. Wanted my body back, didn't want to be tied down for hours cluster feeding an angry baby. Just no.

Formula made sharing the load easily, allowed some bonding time with DH and DC and gave me the freedom to have a shower, go out with friends. I couldn't hear the thought of being harassed for my boobs by a small child, like I saw my friends. Didn't want the pain and discomfort. The possible complications and also live a normal life again, and by this I mean walk out my front door on my own and not have to worry about how my baby will eat for 2 hours.

DC2 is on the way, and we will FF again.

I did have one midwife try and push me, so I turned round and said have you got 4 grand to give me to replace my false tits? She said no, so I said fine shut up then. 😂

Also another reason I decided against it, I love my boobs haha!

Bfing is completely out of your normal comfort zone before you have a baby, I did it for a long time but if asked beforehand I would have thought the whole idea completely weird. It’s certainly more pleasant than changing nappies (the newborn black poo!) and having just read a thread about the correct way to make up formula bottles, a lot easier for a lazy person like me to manage. Why not just keep an open mind, maybe read a website like Kellymom for info (including on expressing) and see how you feel when you meet your baby? Most people in the UK ff so you won’t be alone if you decide not to do it! All the best with your pregnancy

I absolutely did not want to. Wasn't even keen on giving it a try and got everything in ready to ff. I managed to ebf for 8 weeks before a kidney infection floored me and I switched with no problem to eff. I wasn't desperately keen on bf but pretty pleased I gave it a go. Like birth, go in with no expectations and go with the flow.

Formula made sharing the load easily, allowed some bonding time with DH and DC and gave me the freedom to have a shower, go out with friends. I couldn't hear the thought of being harassed for my boobs by a small child, like I saw my friends. Didn't want the pain and discomfort. The possible complications and also live a normal life again, and by this I mean walk out my front door on my own and not have to worry about how my baby will eat for 2 hours.

^^ this. Exactly!

My daughter is 8 weeks old and I had decided long ago that I wasn't going to breastfeed. No particular reason really, I just felt it wasn't for me.

Throughout pregnancy I had sore boobs and bad nipple skin so I didn't change my mind either.

I didn't withboth of mine it made me cringe at the thought of it. However now I'm ttc number 3 and I'd love to have a go.
What puts me off is does it feel the same as how it would feel if your husband was sucking your nipple oh lord that sentence has me