Anyone out there who thinks they DON'T want to breastfeed....?

[ballanj]

Clue is in the thread title really!

I'm interested to learn of any expecting mums (old hands and first timers) who were very much of the view that they didn't want to breastfeed, for whatever reasons.

I'm just under 12 weeks, so some way off for me and I may feel differently about it as the months progress, but right now I'm very much thinking 'no'. I know a lot of mums say 'breast is best' but for some reason, no idea as to why, it just doesn't appeal to me as being the option I'd choose. Does this make me a terrible person?! Maybe it's because I don't want to feel like a milking cow and being on demand and wanting my partner and other family members to share in the feeding. Are there any other mums that just express in order to bottle feed? I'd be really interested to know what everyone else really thinks. And please, no judgment or 'this way is the right way' as everyone is different and I'm still trying to find my own way on this and gauge what I really feel! Thanks x

Redteapot67 when I'm out with the two and I've forgotten cup of water/toy/snack/etc I know I always have my breasts! And I also don't have to worry how long I'm away - or else I'd have to pack extra bottles or have powder and be looking for hot water. I can't imagine how much longer it would take me to get out of the house if I also had to make up bottles.

I guess you would need to find some toddler appropriate stuff to binge watch.

Also hopefully a second would be a more straightforward birth.

Thanks all some encouraging words this morning and some good advice !! There are a lot of things easier about bf if you can crack it ! Xx

I do wonder if promoting the practical aspects of BF would have more of an effect than guilt tripping over the health benefits.

Oops it seems one of my posts didn't appear. Just wanted to say that babywearing saved my sanity with DC3 when there were no other adults around to help with the two other kids. Also that for me the difficulties of BF in the early days have been more than outweighed by how easy (and lazy) it is compared to FF once established!

@SnuggyBuggy yup I think that would make a Huge difference . Bottle feeding is a pain.

Thanks @Cousinit. I really hope I can manage this time x

Established breastfeeding - i.e. the post 6(-ish) week mark - is a totally different ball game to the pre-6 week mark, which the vast majority of people (in non-breastfeeding countries) don't get past.

I'm another that really struggled to get there with DC1 (but then went on to EBF for 6 months and Bfed for 13), but for whom it was a doddle with DC2. I'm not a baby wearing type, but I did use a sling a lot with DC2 and it made things a lot easier. Again, I EBFd for 7 months this time (huge, 99th centile baby who only wanted milk), and breastfed for 16 months in total.

Established breastfeeding is just so easy, no faff, no drama, no paraphernalia, no bottles, sterilising, heating, cooling, storing, running out, yada. Just you and babe. Being the only night feeder is hard, but many formula feeders end up being the only night feeder anyway. And in the grand scheme of things, it is such a short time overall.

There’s a lot to read through on this thread, I’ve only made it five pages in but I do have to say, breastfeeding doesn’t guarantee your baby will be a bad sleeper. Formula doesn’t guarantee you’ll have a good sleeper. Babies are individuals and they all are different.
I know you want to formula feed but I think the negativity from some on this thread towards breastfeeding isn’t fair. I hadn’t given it much thought until my DD came out and the Midwife said as she was rubbing her down “do you want to breastfeed?” And I shrugged, said “meh, I’ll give it a go!” and DD latched on. Ten months on, I will not say it’s been easy, but my goodness I am so glad I breastfed. I did a bit of everything at the start, expressed, formula, breastfed, and DH helped out that way. Do what works for you but don’t rule out breastfeeding because honestly, I have found it to be such a wonderful part of motherhood that I could easily have never known. (Write off the first 4 weeks) I think you are shattered whatever way you feed your baby! The friends I know whose babies sleep worse are incidentally FF. Are they connected? I doubt it! Babies aren’t renowned for sleeping any way!
Can I also say, smell a bottle of formula, taste it. It is absolutely vile. The difference in smell between a bottle of formula from the night before and a bottle of breast milk left over is shocking. Breast milk smells the same pretty much even if left on the side for a day, formula smells like gas, it is grim. Maybe that will make you want to try breastfeeding or a mix of both! This is all anecdotal; do what suits you and your little one. Congrats x

@thedowager you are absolutely right. It is so nice being able to just go out for the day and know you have everything on you to feed your baby without needing anything but your breasts!

@Shazafied & @SnuggyBuggy I've not caught up on this thread for a few days but just wanted to say to you both to please not be deterred feeding your second DC. Every baby is different. My dd1 was so difficult to feed, the initial difficult 6 weeks people talk about weren't over for 10 weeks and then she still wanted to feed every hour or so until an age where most babies go much longer. My life felt like 5 months of constant cluster feeding. And to add to that she kept the same feeding pattern day & night and didn't sleep well until she was almost 3. DD2 was totally different. She fed on demand but it was every 3-4 hours from really early on, slept for really good stretches of time at night at only a few days old and I can only remember one night of cluster feeding I don't actually know how my milk managed to come in because she had to be constantly encouraged to feed.
Yes dd1 watched more tv than usual in dd2's first year of life (I don't think it's harmed her and it's probably still less than other kids), she'd cuddle up to one side of me and dd2 would feed at the other side. It was lovely. Yes this is yet more anecdotal info but please don't let the 'breastfeeding is hell and formula is great' stories put you off trying to feed your second baby. It can be totally different to the first time, you won't know unless you try