Anyone out there who thinks they DON'T want to breastfeed....?

[ballanj]

Clue is in the thread title really!

I'm interested to learn of any expecting mums (old hands and first timers) who were very much of the view that they didn't want to breastfeed, for whatever reasons.

I'm just under 12 weeks, so some way off for me and I may feel differently about it as the months progress, but right now I'm very much thinking 'no'. I know a lot of mums say 'breast is best' but for some reason, no idea as to why, it just doesn't appeal to me as being the option I'd choose. Does this make me a terrible person?! Maybe it's because I don't want to feel like a milking cow and being on demand and wanting my partner and other family members to share in the feeding. Are there any other mums that just express in order to bottle feed? I'd be really interested to know what everyone else really thinks. And please, no judgment or 'this way is the right way' as everyone is different and I'm still trying to find my own way on this and gauge what I really feel! Thanks x

Me. 18 weeks pregnant. My first baby was stillborn. I had every intention of breastfeeding him but with this one i have decided to go straight to bottle. I have too much pressure on me hoping i get a lovely healthy baby this time without adding to that with pressure on myself to breastfeed.

My milk never really came in after my stillborn so i dont know how i would get on anyway.

I would consider expressing colostrum though.

Already had a perfect prep bought for us as a gift!

BF for three days. Those three days were utterly miserable, painful constant feeding, no help from midwife, baby cried constantly (literally). As soon as I gave my baby the first bottle of formula she changed and I felt like I had my body back.

During pregnancy I initially didn’t want to breastfeed but as time passed I really wanted too. I am disappointed I couldn’t do it but I love that my husband helps with night feeds (and the rest of the time) and I am sure I am more rested than my friend who has all the responsibility for the baby.

...and don’t worry the poo doesn’t smell any worse than any other babies poo I have smelt!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and do what’s right for your family unit that way baby will thrive from calm, non stressed, non exhausted parents.

I'm 37 weeks and have no desire to BF at all, the idea seems completely alien to me

My Midwife, Mum, sister and husband are all pushing me to BF but I don't want to, at all. I know me and my husband are going to have serious words about it as he's adamant it's best for the baby and I need to try

I just don't want to. The only thing that appeals to me is the cost aspect. Other than that, absolutely not.

I don't want to be tied to the bed/sofa for hours on end

I can't stand anyone touching me and especially my nipples for a prolonged period. It's not that I associate breasts with sex, it's just a sensory issue I have

I don't want my boobs ruined. I'm quite self conscious of my body as it is and I don't need to add things that make me feel worse about myself

I genuinely think FF is perfectly fine and my baby will not suffer as a result.

I don't appreciate being guilt tripped and harassed about my decision and if anything will only become more resolute not to if it carries on

@spottingthezebras you can still smell it, it just has a 'sweetish' hard to describe smell rather than a bad smell. Quickly changes when they start weaning anyway though!

OP I wanted to breastfeed so can’t comment but just wanted to reply to
@toomuchhappyland

In terms of OP making an informed decision, you are mistaken about the study:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4077166/

No statistically significant difference in outcome for 10 of the 11 factors - including BMI, obesity, asthma- tested.

Meeee. Baby due in 2 weeks. Don't want to breastfeed. Not going to.

Ive been pregnant for nearly 9 months. I want my body back!

Its strange how so much guilt focuses around how babies are fed above everything else.
Its like telling someone that they have to only carry baby in a sling as its 'better' for their attachment than a buggy.
While it may well be that doesn't mean its necessarily practical or something people want to do, which is accepted and yet when it comes to feeding the same reasons don't seem to always be accepted.

I'm very lazy and hate washing up so I bf mainly.
Your baby sucking feels different to anything else.
It's only for the first few weeks you're tied to the sofa after that you just use bf as an excuse to sit down for a while
Also I'm quite forgetful the baby would have gone hungry on quite a few occasions if he'd been just ff.

Didn't want to breastfeed, DIDN'T breastfeed, actually didn't know many people who did in real life rather than Mumsnet, and certainly didn't know anyone who cared enough to mention it.

Mental health was awful with both pregnancies and formula feeding helped me to not abandon my babies. if I had had to feed them with my nipples, they may well have ended up in care.

This is such an interesting read. When I had dc1 I didn't even consider breastfeeding. I had no faith in my body due to a crappy pregnancy, I genuinely felt like my body was a failure at mumming before my first was even born. After birth I was the only mum in a 4 bed ward who formula fed and the only one with a content baby. It was fab that dad shared in the feeding and I didn't regret it. That was 13 years ago.

I'm now pregnant again and had said I'd give breastfeeding a go, but reading posts in lots of breastfeeding groups I shall be honest I'm going off the idea of trying!! Lots of unhappy mums with cracked bleeding nipples and mastitis who never ever get a break.

I feel societal pressure to "give it a go" but after initially thinking I would, now I'm having doubts. Those first few weeks and months are hard as it is, I know I'll be healing from a C-section and I know I had PND first time around so I'm genuinely starting to lean more towards how I can make those early days as angst free as possible and how I can share the load with my very willing partner.

I'd not dared start a thread so thank you OP for posting yours.

Oh and to add, I think I feel more pressured this time around to try as since I had my first theres been lots more campaigning and support around BF in my area and now I'd say most of my friends and family have BF, whereas 13 years ago it was mostly FF.

Pregnant with my first. I am certain I'll formula feed once it's had the first few days of good stuff. I have a really restrictive food diet so I struggle to think what nutrition the baby will get from me.

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with my first and I will be FF straight away for a number of reasons. When people have questioned the decision I just say " I have my reasons" and don't open up a debate on it because oh boy do people like to discuss BF vs FF! Your baby, your choice. Good luck with it all xxx

Straight on to bottle with my 2. The thought of breastfeeding made me shudder and I couldn't bear the idea of baby being attached to me all the time. I'm not against breastfeeding it just wasn't for me.
Heard too many horror stories of babies that want to feed multiple times through the night and mums that were just a wreck from the sleep deprivation. Both mine only ever needed one middle of the night feed and slept through by 8 weeks. I just know in myself that I couldnt have coped with breast feeding.

I expressed for my first (tried to do it straight from boob but didn't work). It's bloody hard work. Not as painful but it's still a PITA and I felt much more like a milking cow that way. It was basically double the night feeds as I had to get up every 3 hours to express and DH had to get up to feed baby. We also had all the faff with bottles, having to sterilise, get them to right temperature while baby screamed etc. I made it 2 and a half months doing that then switched to formula. Do what is right for you though, there is no easy way and bugger what everyone else thinks, they're your boobs. FWIW I fed DC2 straight from the boob and feel no difference in the way we bonded. You can bond very well with a bottle!

Me!!! Third baby and formula feeding! I’ve done my bit xx

To be fair, there's no way to really "get your body back" after birth or avoid touching, babies and children are all about the touching. Being close to your body, feeding or not, is their favourite place.

Also, your body will change beyond recognition and you will never get your body back the way you had it before having a baby.

This completely depends on the person. Mine is hardly different.

immigrantsong

Sorry to break it to you but your kids won’t be in Mensa because you breastfed them. There’s very little difference. That pain and suffering you went through won’t improve your kids lives.

Sorry.

@immigrantsong I find your post very sad, and highly judgmental.

Breastfed both of mine for their first year.

Really hurt for the first month but then got so much better.

I'm having baby number 4 and won't be breast feeding. My oldest son is severely disabled and others will have just turnt 2 and 4 so I really feel like it isn't what I want to do as things will be so hectic. I tried with my last baby and it's not for me.

I never really thought about how I was going to feed DD- I just took for granted that breastfeeding would be fine.

It was only when she arrived and decided that no, breastfeeding wasn’t for her, that I started worrying about how I was going to feed her. When the midwife who was trying to help me convince dd to latch broached expressing with me and explained all that it entailed (sterilising bottles PLUS the exhaustion of 3 hourly pumping) and as she was talking I was thinking “Ok, stay calm and as soon as she’s gone get your phone and check how much one of those Tommee Tippee machines are on Amazon...”. I never looked back.

I’m pregnant with DC2 now and I’m weighing up our options. I’m leaning towards feeding colostrum for two or three days before moving to formula- partially because of the ease and division of labour between DH and I, but also because between the breastfeeding horror stories I’ve read on here and from different relations, it just seems like a bit of a bollocks.