Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

I also told my employer quite early as I work in a school with lots of behavioural need and could often get hurt so needed a risk assessment. I won't tell the rest of my colleagues until they notice for themselves though!

Huge congratulations @emwithme that’s so lovely!! What a clear picture!
I had my 8+4 scan on Tuesday but it’s literally just a blob haha! But with a strong heartbeat!
Can’t wait for my next one when I’ll be 10+4 🤞🏻

Been having some stomach pains this evening which has sent me into panic mode...no bleeding or spotting but I’m terrified of miscarrying again. Praying this is just everything stretching as I’m growing so much at the moment. Been feeling so sick all day and the smell of our air freshener is making it worse! Had to put them all in another room so I couldn’t smell them 🤢

I’m self employed @Snorebrown so no boss to tell this time around. With my first I told my boss at 7 weeks.
This time around I’ve not told anyone, not even my mum. I’m too scared to say it out loud to someone in fear of jinxing it...stupid I know but it was the day after we told my in-laws for my last 2 pregnancies that I miscarried so it’s made me not want to tell anyone just yet :-/

Everything was ok yesterday, he decided to start moving just as I was about to call triage.
Today, very intermittent movement again, it worries me sick, thankfully I have a scan later in the day but I'm fearing the worst again, it's just like the pregnancy scan fear I had back at 8 and 12 weeks.

Any tips on coping?

Thats exactly how I feel mummy. I have another scan at 16 weeks and wondering if i can leave it until then.

Thankfully my pains stopped last night so I’m feeling ok again now.
Just returned from my first doctors appointment and have my bookin appointment with the midwife sorted, earliest they could fit me in was when I’ll be 12 weeks!! Would really like to see someone before then as I’m already suffering with anxiety, I’d just like to get the extra reassurance that my bloods etc are all normal.

When did you all have your first booking appointment? I’m assuming as mine isn’t until 12 weeks I won’t get my 12 week scan until later either which is another concern :-/

Arghhh scan this afternoon and have such a sore back which I think has to be a bad sign! I just can’t get into my head that it could be anything but bad news......

@mummyjl15 I have an appointment for booking appointment and scan already- I think a lot of places book them at the same time. Might be worth calling?

I'm the opposite- I wanted to delay my booking as long as possible as feel if it's all going to end what is the point? It's also on a Saturday which is strange.

anxious wishing you the best for the scan, and hoping it brings you much better news than you think. I don't think back pain is necessarily a bad sign.

mummy I had mine at 11+3, but I already had a 12 week scan date because EPU had booked it for me. I don't think it matters too much if you don't have the booking bloods done until then - in lots of areas they do them at same time as 12 week scan - but it might be worth ringing them and saying you're worried about not getting a scan date in time and seeing what they say.

anxious good luck with your scan today, hope all is well.
mummy i'd ring about your scan date and explain you're nervous due to previous losses and would like to get in booked in sooner not later.

Thanks @lisa and @nocats I’m still finishing it hard to believe but scan went well, strong heartbeat and measuring 8wks6 days. The furthest we have got since DD.

Fantastic news! Really glad to hear it.

@Anxiousfeelings so pleased you’ve had a good scan

Well scan showed I have a transverse face down baby, which with a lowish placenta is a recipient for cord prolapse if my waters were to go.
So it looks like I'll mostly be staying in hospital till they can deliver by cs, no chance of vaginal birth, unless he turns.

How are you feeling about that, zaa?

Completely unprepared!
I have nothing with me, no one who can get me stuff till tomorrow and my bags not packed cause it's felt like tempting fate!!

Do wonder if it could mean a cs at 38 weeks though, that would be welcome!

That's what I was wondering - whether it will mean you won't have to wait much longer. I know the worry is taking such a toll on you.

zaalitje you are pretty much full term so hopefully won’t be too long before you meet your baby!

That’s great you had a positive scan today @Anxiousfeelings

@zaalitje sorry you’re stuck in hospital but on the plus side baby will hopefully be coming a bit early for you! My DD arrived at 37+2 so I’m hopin for another early baby this time (fingers crossed I get that far!)

Thanks for suggesting to call about my 12wk scan everyone. They said it usually takes 3 weeks to get the scan date and with my first booking appointment being at 12 weeks it would be later than the recommended timescale (which is 11-14+2 apparently).
Got the doctor ringing me on Tuesday to book me in for my 12week scan so that’s good!
Just want to get my maternity book to make this whole thing seem more real.

Oh and I just got into my maternity jeans from my first pregnancy today and I forgot how comfy they are when you’re bloated in those early weeks! Been too scared to wear any maternity clothes yet in case I jinx anything but I’m feeling so much more comfortable today!

@zaalitje thinking of you - hope you get some clarity on a CS date soon.

I finish work at 38+3 which is a Thursday. Would love to have baby ASAP after that! Not looking forward to hanging around at home. Having said that last baby was early so maybe this one will be too. I need to get to 37w at least this time, otherwise birth pool and home birth plans are out the window.

zaa - honestly - pack bags and be a pain in their arse until the baby is out safely, however it happens! IMO you've had enough anxiety, any change and especially reduction in movement is excuse enough to go and bother them. They'll monitor/scan which should put your mind at rest and you may even get an early section/induction if they feel that the toll on your MH is too high.

We've been and picked up a second hand pram. Then I got an amazon voucher for doing something for DH's work so we've spent that on the essential but dull things like mattress protectors and cot sheets and teeny nail clippers. I did pick some gorgeous rainbow muslins as well, so I got something fun out of it! Clothes I'm almost at minimum capacity on and I'm sure I won't struggle to fill this! I need to go and arrange them all into little size ordered boxes.

All we need now is sundries - wipes, nappies, soap, bum cream. Plus a car seat, base if we're getting one, cot mattress if we decide to replace, changing mat (which I think SIL has already got...) and a new rucksack to use for baby stuff and then we're actually READY. And just have to think about the birth...

Gosh zaa! I hope you manage to get some stuff sorted out today and it is a smooth run until the baby arrives. Final stretch now!

Bertie you are so organised! All we have is a small package of second hand clothes from a friend. I can't bring myself to buy anything before at least 30 weeks but have managed to start doing some internet research. Instead we've decided it is a good idea to buy a new house Fingers crossed it goes through quickly, the baby doesn't make an early appearance and we manage to move before!

Ooh, I think you're beating me Bertie! We bought a pram a while ago (because we bought it second hand so knew we'd have to look early to find brand we wanted) but only started buying other things a couple of weeks ago and don't have much. But we did paint the spare room/nursery this morning! DH has been desperate to get on with getting things ready for a while but I told him he couldn't until I was in third trimester - so he went out and got paint samples the day I turned 28 weeks!

Finally got given an appointment for a cardiac scan - it's on Monday. I can't help but be nervous about it, even though they think the chances of anything being wrong are very low.

It will be 1 year tomorrow since my MMC was diagnosed at 9+6. Such a weird feeling now I'm nearly 26 weeks with this baby. I was so, so sad. I'll never forget it.