Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Hugs grumpy - I'm sorry if you're finding it hard today. I don't know the exact date but I know the anniversary of my last one must be coming up because it was a year since we got our cat the other day, and I found out I was pregnant again two days before he arrived. I wish I could go back and tell me of a year ago that this is where I'd be now - she would never have believed it, though, at that point I really believed I'd never carry for more than a couple of weeks.

@TheGrumpySquirrel I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

It's a year tomorrow since we got our 1st bfp and my heart just breaks over it. I was so over the moon and so naive to think that mc didn't happen as much (as what I know now). We're off to a family get together tomorrow for DH's cousin and I know that this baby will be brought up. Im so grateful but so hurt and all I want to do is sleep for 100 years to not even think about it

So hard isn’t it when you hit these dates? My hardest one was 28th March which was my due date from my first MC :(
But I’m now 9+1 and starting to feel so much more positive which is good. I’ll never forget how I felt after my first MC. The MC took 7 weeks to complete naturally (which was hell!) and I ended up having counselling to cope with the anxiety and depression I suffered. Amazingly it made my following 2 miscarriages that little bit more manageable though.
I’d definitely recommend seeking advice from a specialist if you’re struggling...just downloading your worries and concerns to a stranger is a huge help 👍🏻

Thanks guys. I'm okay today. I did have a little cry but I'm fine. The due date was a lot harder - although I was pregnant again and didn't know it yet! I found out 2 days later 💕

@mummyjl15 sorry you had to go through that. Mine was physically traumatic as well and I ended up in A&E due to the blood loss. I think the health care around MC leaves a lot to be desired!

Oh bless you @TheGrumpySquirrel. My first BFP anniversary will be in June, and I'm sure I'll feel the same. I cried a lot on Mother's Day about my MMC, especially as my due date was close to it. I still think about that baby a lot and seeing him (I was always convinced I was carrying a boy) alive on the 8 week scan. When I had my 4D scan with my current pregnancy, I kept crying when we got home about how much I love her, but also about the MMC. They never truly leave us. Xxx

Hope everyone is ok on here. @zaalitje How are you doing?

@TheGrumpySquirrel I passed the due date of my first MC recently. Just before I found out about this pregnancy and I was devastated all over again (having coped with first loss very well, it was at only 5weeks and straightforward). These milestones are hard to pass.

I can’t believe it’s been a year since we started trying for number 2. It’s not that long in the grand scheme of things but I feel like I’ve been pregnant or miscarrying constantly, on top of finding out about my very damaged cervix.

I’m still feeling quite detached and unconfident about this pregnancy. DH is the same. It’s turned to “if we have a baby” rather than “when”. I think the constant bleeding and spotting isn’t helping. I have an appointment for a second opinion on my plan of action for short cervix next week although I’m 99% sure that if we get to 12 weeks I’ll have the open cerclage. Still hoping they’ll scan again to check cervix and see if there’s still a heartbeat.

grumpy hope you’re ok today. It’s important to mark these milestones though if we need to. I passed all my mc and due dates still not pregnant so that was hard for other reasons. What’s odd this time is IF this pregnancy is successful I’ll be due on what would have been my due date to the day of my MMC.
12 week can is Tuesday at 1pm, my worry is ramping up, I’m trying so hard to manage it but I can feel it eating away at me. It’s not long though now, I can’t wait to have some answers, good or bad I just want to know. Being detached is exhausting, and others just don’t get it. I had to shut down my MIL who generally means well because she was asking so many questions about everything like the future, telling my ds, the due date etc. In the end I just had to say that I was sure something wouldn’t be right, I wasn’t even thinking about it being a baby yet and could she just not talk about it anymore until after Tuesday. Some people mean well but they have no idea what it’s like.

grumpy thinking of you, I know these days are difficult.

Ive spent the last few days in hospital as baby was traverse with a risk of cord prolapse if my waters went. Today it seems baby has turn full breech and engaged (on palpation by both midwife and Dr who agree on position).
If a scan tomorrow confirms he's breech and engaged i need to decide which birth option to go for. I've already been consented for cs but no date yet.

Who knew lying in bed for no reason for days could be so exhausting!

@zaalitje are you in a unit which has extensive experience with vaginal breech births? Personally I think I’d go for ELCS, as many doctors and midwives are quite deskilled at present. Also I’ve has an EMCS after a failed forceps attempt and it was rough, would choose elective over emergency any day.

Just my personal opinion. I hope all goes well whatever you decide, and that you get a date soon.

Cardiac scan was all fine, which was a big relief - it was one of those things where I didn't realise how worried I was about it until I felt the relief. He's measuring small (right at 10th percentile) though, so I have to go back for another growth scan in a couple of weeks. Again, not a big deal but just so wanted to hear that everything was perfect!

That’s so good and reassuring to know all is ok @LisaSimpsonsbff
Always nice to get that extra scan too for reassurance!

OMG I’m going to be the size of a house if I carry on the way I have the last few days.
I had hardly any nausea when I was expecting my daughter but this pregnancy is another story! I’ve been feeling so sick the last few days and the only thing helping is eating...which I feel like I’m constantly doing! 🙈

Any other tips for relieving nausea? I’ve tried sipping water, drinking ginger tea and eating crackers and ginger biscuits

Eating constantly is the only thing I find useful. That and sitting around. Share your fears!

@LisaSimpsonsbff I’m delighted scan was normal. Try not to worry about not getting a “perfect” report. With DD I had scans every 2 weeks following a kidney anomaly and there was also concern about her growth. Then suddenly at 40 weeks they estimated her on the 98th centile (having measured small all along. As it happens her kidney issues were milder than predicted and she was precisely the average weight (50th centile on the button!).

Great news Lisa

Im just over 13 weeks and have developed a pain in my thigh when i walk. Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks all - I know you're right, paranormal. I just would so like to be signed off as low risk, and that was what supposed to happen at both my most recent consultant's appointments, and then they keep finding some other 'it's almost certainly fine but...' thing. I know I'm being spoilt and ungrateful - and I am incredibly grateful that they didn't find anything wrong with his heart today - but I just so want a final bit of pregnancy where I can relax a bit, and every time I have to go into the hospital for another one of these 'just in case' things it gets me so worked up again.

Can I join
I'm 9 weeks on Thursday and have had 5 losses, I've been trying for 5 years and have a lovely 5 year old girl x :) due December 20th

@leanne welcome and sorry about your previous losses. Hope this is a trouble free pregnancy

@lisa great news about the cardiac scan but completely understand how it must be so stressful

@mummyjl15 no real tips for the nausea, I haven’t got it too badly this time so far..... However I have started indulging the same cravings as I had with my daughter- fruit and fruit ice lollies, and particularly fruit such as melons and pineapples which require preparation. It’s so weird. When I have had nausea I find small salty crackers help.

As of yesterday I was 7 weeks pregnant-
My husband and I have been ttc since Jan. got BFP on 13/4/18 so felt very lucky.
Started with brown spotting & cramping on 24/4/18 got referred to EPU and had internal scan on 29/4/18.
They said they thought I’d got my dates wrong as was only measuring at 5 weeks and could only see sac and yolk sac they wanted me back in two weeks time (today) to rescan.
Didn’t have any more discharge after this internal scan so thought it must have only been implantation bleeding.
Went away to Cornwall on 05/05/18 and started with brown spotting that night, the next day bright red blood this carried on and I passed one clot on the 08/05 and one on 09/05 then it slowed down and went back to a brown spotting.
Went for the rescan today and Was told I’ve had a complete miscarriage.
I’m devastated, this was my 1st pregnancy.
I know how common it is but you never think it will happen to you?
The nurse in EPU today said they’d scanned 13 ladies today and I was 1 of 2 that got bad news, I just thought why me?
We’re eager to start ttc again once I’ve stopped spotting and I’m trying to remain positive.

Just wanted to share my story with others going through a similar thing & hope things are working out for you all.

Sorry to hear this @RubyRube13 it’s so hard isn’t it? We’ve been TTC since last January and had 3 miscarriages but I’m now 9+3 with this pregnancy so it will happen.
There are lots of pages in mumsnet with other women who are currently going through a miscarriage, I found them a huge help with coping with my miscarriages so I’d definitely recommend joining those. Hopefully you’ll get that BFP soon 🤞🏻

@Anxiousfeelings thankyou and it's going smoothly so far no bleeding etc, scan tomorrow so hopefully baby's ok.
X

@RubyRube13 I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️

I'm so glad the cardiac scan was ok lisa. I know what you mean about wanting to just be signed off as low risk. That's how I felt when I went to my antenatal clinic appointment at 16 weeks and found out I'd need growth scans. I have felt better about it with time and managed to rationalise it to at least any issues should be picked up early. And your 30 weeks now! How great is that!

Welcome leanne. I'm sorry for your previous losses. Is tomorrow your first scan? Fingers crossed all is well.

Sorry to hear about your loss ruby. I hope you'll be back here with a bfp in the not too distant future. The miscarriage board is hidden away in the body and soul section. Lots of lovely support there as mummyj said. And there's a thread in conception for ladies trying again after a miscarriage which is also very supportive.

DH and I had a manic weekend doing all those little jobs on the house ready for photos tomorrow and going on the market on Wednesday. I feel absolutely knackered so just relaxing in the bath. And only 4 days left at work and then we're off to Italy for a week! I shall be overdosing on gelato to make up for the lack of wine, cured meat, cheese etc etc.