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Original poster

M.I.L wants to be called Mamma!!

212 replies

Sarah1087 · 30/03/2018 12:42

As it says

I don't understand what is wrong with old fashioned Nanan or nana my mum will be being called Nana.
Mamma to me is the definition of mummy I've told Fiance I'm not happy with this, he said what about Mommar but im not happy with that.

Without sounding cruel and not doing into everything personal at the min I feel as though the whole situation is being monopolised this is my first baby after suffering with infertility and I stand by myself in thinking I've every right to disagree with this and even ask for This not to happen.

Does anyone agree with me ?

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RayRay9226 · 30/03/2018 14:36

Definitely don't stand for it my mil wanted mammar because that's what her friends gc called her friend.. I said it was too close to mummy and she kept insisting so we just started calling her grandma or granny which she hated so asked to be nanny and it was never mentioned again.. Just tell her it's to close to mummy, and learning to talk it would be confusing for a child so she needs to pick another name cos you won't refer to her as that.. I know it's frustrating I've been there and she's probably just excited but it's still bleeping annoying, good luck.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 14:39

Yes Harriet that's why I said IF the grandparents in question don't push all sorts of boundaries elsewhere.

Loandbeholdagain · 30/03/2018 14:39

It doesn’t matter what culture the grandparent is from, that name is clearly a name for the mother in England and so would be confusing. There a literally 100s of other acceptable alternatives. Absolute no to mama. My kids call me mama and probably most babies will at some point in England. You don’t want to build conflict into your baby’s first words. I really cannot see where you DP is coming from.

stressedoutfred · 30/03/2018 14:40

@Dandybelle , my youngest called my Mum marmar as he couldn't pronounce grandma Grin

RafikiIsTheBest · 30/03/2018 14:41

I think that grandparents should be involved in what their DGC call them, but that as the child's parents you are you ones who get to say "hell no!". And I would be saying that loud and clear for Mamma or Mama or anything that sounds like Mam/Mum. No way.

I personally don't like Granny. I didn't have a Granny and if someone called my Grandma Granny she would soon correct them and it sort of stuck. What about Grandmama (Grandmamar) sounds posh to me! Haha.

I have a preference for what my DGC (if I ever have any) will call me and it's very clearly a grandmother name. I too think it's something to be proud of, but can understand that for some it's just a reminder that they are (getting) old.

Tmgc123 · 30/03/2018 14:42

Classic!! Sounds like my insane EX MIL who hated me.

They wanted all the grandkids to call them mammar (spelling??) and pappa....NOPE.

The grandad alreadyhad a very sweet name theoldest grandchild had come up (which is the best way I think) and wanted to change it to pappa.

I didn’t like t but thankfully me and my ex didn’t have kids together!

RafikiIsTheBest · 30/03/2018 14:43

Oh also looked after a child who couldn't say Granny when she was very young. At 7 she (and her younger sibling) were still calling Granny Gary. That was confusing, being told Gary will be picking her up today and then a little older lady appearing.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 14:46

One of my friends dc couldn't say Grandma, he calls her Larma which is pretty cute!

BertrandRussell · 30/03/2018 14:51

"Classic!! Sounds like my insane EX MIL who hated me."

Or it could sound like a mil who has that in her family/culture as name for a grandmother. As many people do

EveryoneLovesRaymond · 30/03/2018 14:51

I had a Mamma (Grandma) and I'm from the Midlands.

Bombardier25966 · 30/03/2018 14:52

This is a Midlands thing (and no doubt other areas too).

My Mamma has thirty grand children and I'm happy to confirm that not one of us has ever confused her with our respective mothers.

flowery · 30/03/2018 14:53

My mum wanted to be ‘Mamie’ which is used in France, where my parents live. I said no, as it’s far too similar to Mummy also because she is not French so she is Granny instead.

BertrandRussell · 30/03/2018 14:55

Oh. And you will be grateful for that nursery at grandma (or whoever)'s house when you realise that you don't have to pack anything when you go to visit.

Wallywobbles · 30/03/2018 15:04

Same as pp in France so ex MIL chose Mamie. She's known now as Mamie first name as are the step grandmothers. Granny is known as Granny horse and Grandpa was Bonker. Maybe you could go for Mad Mamma (Mad for short).

Athome77 · 30/03/2018 15:09

My kids call there grandparents mammar and daddar ‘dogs name’, both dogs ie my mum and dad’s dog and pil dog have both died now but the dog was there when the kids were young so it was an easy way of identifying which grandparents

Original poster
Sarah1087 · 30/03/2018 15:15

Wow thank you for your responses

I've told my fiancé that I won't have anything pushed on our baby when she's here if she decides to call her mamma then so be it but it will not be forced upon her.

I know she doesn't like grandma or granny which is fine, I think nana or nanny is lovely and sweet.

Like one of you girls said mama is probably one of the few first words my baby will say and I'm not having her called that too 😩

I don't even want Mommar like Fiance is saying shouldn't this be our babies choice ? My own mother isn't as pushy and all she has asked is not to be called grandma as she will feel old lol I'm fine with that.

He see's it that I'm having a go and being horrible towards his mum when I'm not being I'm standing my ground mamma and Mommar are a no from me.

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Original poster
Sarah1087 · 30/03/2018 15:16

And nope we are not any mix race or religion so there is nothing defining the reason

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peacheachpearplum · 30/03/2018 15:25

I never understand the grandma or granny sounds old. Do people really look at someone and think they are young because they call themselves nana? I mean everyone knows they all mean you are a parent of the childs parent so what's the difference.

My granny always objected to being called nanny as she said it was a name for a goat or a young girl who was paid a pittance for looking after someone else's kids (she was born in 1900 so nanny was someone in service although a step above a maid.)

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 15:26

Where's MIL from OP?

Original poster
Sarah1087 · 30/03/2018 15:34

Yorkshire

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 15:41

Is this a thing in Yorkshire then? Someone up thread mentioned " Mama Lou " and their MIL or mum is from Yorkshire! Where does DH get Moomar from?

ItWentInMyEye · 30/03/2018 15:41

My ex-MIL tried this all through my pregnancy, as well as continuously threatening to wait outside the hospital room if I didn't allow her in Hmm She was told absolutely no way would she be Mama.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 15:41

Sorry Mommar.

Hotdoggity · 30/03/2018 15:43

My MIL wanted my DD to call her what her own DDs call her. Then she made up a name and stuck with it despite me saying I’d rather not. Got bored of not being listened to so just taught my DD to call her grandma.

harrietm87 · 30/03/2018 15:47

No it's not a thing in Yorkshire. My DH's entire family and load of friends are from Yorkshire and grandmothers are called Nana and Grandma. My MIL has chosen Mama Lou all by herself.

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