M.I.L wants to be called Mamma!!

[Sarah1087]

As it says

I don't understand what is wrong with old fashioned Nanan or nana my mum will be being called Nana.
Mamma to me is the definition of mummy I've told Fiance I'm not happy with this, he said what about Mommar but im not happy with that.

Without sounding cruel and not doing into everything personal at the min I feel as though the whole situation is being monopolised this is my first baby after suffering with infertility and I stand by myself in thinking I've every right to disagree with this and even ask for This not to happen.

Does anyone agree with me ?

Not on your nelly.

A friend called her GM mormor, but the DM was Danish, in any case it's nothing like mamma, which is obviously the mother.

My son has "Granny" and "Mormor" - the latter means "mum's mum"

""You need to nip this kind of shite in the bud before the baby arrives."

Or you need to say "I'm sorry, MIL, I know your family/cultural tradition uses Mamma for grandmother, but it makes me feel unhappy. Shall we find something else?"

No way! You dp must support you on this, surely?? He needs to tell her no way, she can be nanny, granny or something similar

Yes - in Scandi countries you have Mormor and Farmor

• Mormor = mother's mother
• Farmor = father's mother

Mamma is only for mother

Is Mamma used for Grandma where your MIL is from OP? I think if it is then she's not being that unreasonable.

"Mamma is only for mother"

Except that both people on this thread and Google say different. Don't let it happen if you don't want it-but stop assuming that ir's enemy action.

No way would I accept mamma or mommar anything that sounds like mum.
Granny, Grandma, Nanny, Nan, Nanna, Nonna all fine.
I also have friends who use GG or Oma (German) or Yaya (Greek) all of which sound cute.
Your mil is not a second mother to your child she is a grandmother!

I don't think you can assume the MIL wants to be a second mother for goodness sake! Mamma might be the norm for grandma's where she's from.

I remember my mil suggesting this over 5 years ago. The second after she said it I told her that certainly wouldn't be happening. Glad I stood up to her on that one. More incidences of this type of crap were set to come little did I know!

I don't know why people are so militant on MN when it comes to in laws. The language is unnecessarily confrontational. There's nothing OP has told us here that indicates the MIL was born and bred in the UK and just being a complete lunatic as opposed to someone foreign who just doesn't understand the limitations to family titles in the UK.

Lets wait to see what OP says further before we jump to any unpleasant conclusions.

I don’t know what’s wrong with been called nan/nana/granny/grandma it’s a privilege that some people never get. I’m quite looking forward to been a granny one day.
To me Yanbu at all. Your the mamma she’s the granny.

Particularly as both google and this thread say that it is not an uncommon name for a grandmother in the U.K.......

My MIL (who is from Yorkshire - this is not a cultural thing) has suggested our baby calls her Mama Lou (her name is Louise) when it is born. I'm really pissed off and have said that id prefer Gran, Nana, Granny, Grandma as it might confuse the baby (who I imagine will call me mama at first). We'll have to see what happens when it's born...

Brace yourself! Sounds like she could be very over bearing once baby arrive. Start setting your boundaries asap.

It would be good to know where MIL is from tbh so we can decide if she's being an "overbearing narc" or whether it's the norm where she lives.

Fine not to want it- but babies are really not that easily confused!

Yes the baby will not be wondering who gave birth to them, their mummy or their mamma?

Yeah I know the baby won't actually be unable to tell the difference, guess it's more of a worry in the sense that it potentially shows lack of appreciation of boundaries/roles from the MIL. In my case she's also kitted out an entire nursery at her house.

See I don't think there's anything wrong with having a bedroom done up for a grandchild personally IF the grandparents in question don't push all sorts of boundaries elsewhere.

I had this battle. Nephew couldn’t say grandma so mama always stuck and the entire family tried to make it happen with my dd. DH knew I wasn’t happy with it so we’ve always just corrected anyone who said it to grandma. Luckily at 3, DD calls her grandma now.

@GreatDuckCookery it's clearly all about context isn't it though. Doing up a bedroom, yes fine. Suggesting the baby calls you mama when you're not its mother, potentially fine. Saying and doing these things because you expect/feel entitled to take on the mothering role for the grandchild and pushing the mother out/not accepting that it is actually not your child is plainly not fine. Depends on the individuals, circumstances, relationships and personalities.

In my case she's also kitted out an entire nursery at her house.

But it at her house...why is this annoying you? is it nicer than yours?

Not on your nelly

Nelly! what about that?