F***ity f*** f***, is 49 too old for a child?

[Salubrious]

I never swear but jeez I’m in shock. DH and I never had kids due to my endometriosis and in the end we just gave up...we do however have two beautiful step-children who I class as my own flesh and blood.

Today I found out I am pregnant. Missed my period and knew something was up as it’s like clockwork. Decided take a test just to rule it out and both tests had a big blue line! My DH is away on business and I’ve spent the day in a daze....I’m worried I’m too old and there’ll be a mass of medical complications...please someone tell me this can work out....

Congratulations.

@paulabluekitten I think it's good to keep in mind that you are ranting at an actual pregnant woman, not just a hypothetical situation. This is the position the OP finds herself in.

Of course, lots of people see more problems with a 50 year old woman having a baby than things to celebrate but there are appropriate ways of phrasing these things.

Your antagonistic posts do nothing except make you seem a bit of an aggressive idiot.

From a 42 year old grandmother, congratulations! I hope it all goes well for you. I guess there's arguments for and against late parenthood just as there is for early parenthood...and single parenthood...and parenting only kids...parenting large families etc etc ad nauseum. You just do the best you can with what you've got and may fortune be with ya.

@paulabluekitten

I don't care if the baby has been conceived naturally. (Supposedly.)

What exactly do you mean by '(Supposedly)'?

I totally agree about the posters pointing out their own negative experiences....either they would prefer to have been aborted, in which case their views still need balancing against those who had positive experiences of older parents, or they are overall glad to be here...in which case their advice is surely good luck, it may be tough but worth it. Not much point just venting without really considering things in the light of the OP's actual situation.

This is not AIBU to be pregnant at 48. The OP hasn't asked to hear negative experiences. She says please someone tell me this can work out....

And yes, OP it can. Congratulations.

People die at any age. I wouldn't worry about that. As your child will probably be an only child, just do what you can to create strong bonds with extended family and friends and plenty of group activities for socialising with his own age groups, which is probably something you will do anyway OP.

I'm an older parent. I had some additional tests such as nuchal fold (recommended by maternity hospital) which I had done which would estimate how much higher risk I was and decide if I wanted to proceed or prepare myself for any health issues the baby might have. She was fine!

I was exhausted and pregnancy and sleepless nights took a lot out of me. Two colleagues were pregnant at the same time and it seemed I was finding it harder in comparison. I found it quite hard to adapt to losing my independence. I have gone grey with the stress of being a parent but she was and is very wanted and is quite simply amazing.

What a wonderful early xmas gift! Congratulations

It's a Christmas Miracle! What else can it be at this time of year?
Congratulations!

Congratulations - my aunt had a baby at 49 in the late 1960s, a menopause baby. He is fine. Enjoy every second and what a great Christmas present.

Congratulations!

A word of caution- I think miscarriage rates are >50% over 45 so don't get your hopes up too high. But really hope it works out for you.

The other part worries about the child who may lose a parent in his thirties

Really? In your 30s you should be an independant adult, presumably with children of your own if you're too old to have kids in your 40s? I lost a parent in my late 30s, they were 30 when I was born. I'd had two decades of an adult relationship with them, it is not the same in any way as my friend whose father died when she was a teenager.

Amazing news! Congrats, just enjoy it and stuff anyone who says otherwise xxx

My next door neighbour growing up had a baby at fifty, both perfectly healthy. We joked that the dad had a new found swagger but her older children were mortified lol. Long way to go but what wonderful news.. congratulations!

OP i hope all goes well for you, and that you will update us when you tell DH!

However why do people feel the need to hit out at other family choices? I had my daughter at 20, she had her first son at 20 too.
We are all fine, it is a joy to have these years with my grandchildren.
We are working class though so I guess it's fine to criticise us.

ginny if you're going to patronise us all by explaining medical terminology, maybe try spelling it right. It's primigravida and it's not like it's some abstruse term no one's ever heard of

OP congrats

I can't believe all the comments about being too old and the child could be orphaned in its 20's etc.

My amazing mother was in her early 20's when she had me. I still lost her in my early 20's because she had a brain haemorrhage that nobody could have seen coming. Other friends lost parents in their teens to cancer, strokes and one to a car crash. Parents can die at ANY age. It's a horrible sad fact of life and it's certainly not a good reason not to have a baby or to continue with a pregnancy in your 40's!!

Congratulations Op, fingers crossed for a successful healthy pregnancy.

It's great. Congratulations. Hope the pregnancy progresses without a hitch for you. I don't think many of the negative comments on here are particularly valid tbh, on the basis that none of us knows what's round the corner or how long we have. You also may have a biological age much younger than 49 and if so it's highly likely you could live to see you own grand children born. The one valid point I've read is energy - I have two young boys and am 42 but with only one of the little blighters and hopefully plenty of help from the older kids (?!) you'll be fine ;)

Congratulations OP!

Two of my aunts died in their early 40's and one in her early 50's leaving children behind. My other aunt is nearly 90 and had DC at 48 so there's no set age for anything is there?

Enjoy your pregnancy. Hoping all goes well for you

Aww wow! Congratulations OP. Sometimes things happen for a reason and it seems you were destined to have a beautiful little baby. Wishing you lots of luck and hoping you have a smooth and successful pregnancy

I gave birth to my youngest DS a week before my 51st birthday. Healthy happy pregnancy with no complications. I was monitored more closely than normal but that was very reassuring. I told myself if my body couldn't cope with the pregnancy I wouldn't have conceived. Congratulations and enjoy every moment!

Paulabluekitten I didn't realise we were doing anecdotes. My parents had me at 21 and 22. By the age of 6 I was an orphan and had to be adopted so really these things can happen to anyone. My DSD lost her mum this year. DSD is 14, her mum early 50's. You just don't know what life has in store for you but you can't live life saying 'but what if'

Congratulations! I had my second at 49 and it was totally fine - easier than the first tbh. Find a good teaching hospital if you can (you can choose where you want to go) -

Congratulations OP.

FWIW, DSis and I had an older mother and she was fantastic. She was comfortable and confident in herself, her career was well established so she was able to negotiate flexibility, she had loads of life experience which helped us through our teenage years and negotiating our early twenties and careers, and she was lots of fun.

Congratulations!! This makes me wonder if I'll have another in years to come!
Please keep us updated!!