F***ity f*** f***, is 49 too old for a child?

[Salubrious]

I never swear but jeez I’m in shock. DH and I never had kids due to my endometriosis and in the end we just gave up...we do however have two beautiful step-children who I class as my own flesh and blood.

Today I found out I am pregnant. Missed my period and knew something was up as it’s like clockwork. Decided take a test just to rule it out and both tests had a big blue line! My DH is away on business and I’ve spent the day in a daze....I’m worried I’m too old and there’ll be a mass of medical complications...please someone tell me this can work out....

Totally agree with Mrsknackered.

I was reading this thread with a huge smile. Read Priscilla comments and thought 'what a knob'. However the return comments actually made me feel sad / for a minute. Quite frankly, Some of you sound just as bad as Priscilla did !

Now that's off my chest ....

Such lovely news op. You will do whatever is right for you and being an older mother myself I can tell you it is an absolute joy. Like pp says - keeps you young

How lovely, congratulations! Hope things go well. Take care of yourself and get to the GP / midwife.

Ahhh lovely!! Congratulations, you'll be great.

It's too old. I don't care if the baby has been conceived naturally. (Supposedly.) It's too old for a woman to have a baby. And yes I would say that if it was a man of 50 becoming a father.

Though I would not go as far as being so harsh as priscilla, I am shocked that so many people are saying having a baby at FIFTY is ok.

Come off it You cannot possibly all be serious. Of COURSE it's too old to have a baby! All this 'well nature obvious wanted it' is bollocks. If that is the case, why not just let nature let you have a baby every 9-10 months? 'as nature intended?!'

Not fair on the child either, who is going to either be an orphan when they are barely collage age (cue 100 posters saying their auntie fuckfluff had a baby at 70 and lived til she was 137!)

OR the child will end up being a carer to elderly and infirm parents when they are 18-20 and should be enjoying their life. (Cue 100 posters saying their auntie bollockfluff is 99 and runs marathons 3 times a day and is as fit as a butchers dog!)

Of COURSE it's too old to have a baby. Stop talking nonsense people.!

I had mine at 40 and 42 so what's a few years Really?? Yes seek medical advice and chose what tests you are prepared to take..but otherwise embrace it. No doubt your child will be very very loved and cared for and enjoy a relationship with step siblings.
What's funny to me is that I'm an older mum but still very active, sporty etc as are my kids p, so most other mums think I am am way younger lol

It's too old. I don't care if the baby has been conceived naturally. (Supposedly.) It's too old for a woman to have a baby. And yes I would say that if it was a man of 50 becoming a father.

Though I would not go as far as being so harsh as priscilla, I am shocked that so many people are saying having a baby at FIFTY is ok.

Come off it You cannot possibly all be serious. Of COURSE it's too old to have a baby! All this 'well nature obvious wanted it' is bollocks. If that is the case, why not just let nature let you have a baby every 9-10 months? 'as nature intended?!'

Not fair on the child either, who is going to either be an orphan when they are barely college age (cue 100 posters saying their auntie fuckfluff had a baby at 70 and lived til she was 137!)

OR the child will end up being a carer to elderly and infirm parents when they are 18-20 and should be enjoying their life. (Cue 100 posters saying their auntie bollockfluff is 99 and runs marathons 3 times a day and is as fit as a butchers dog!)

Of COURSE it's too old to have a baby. Stop talking nonsense people.!

Congratulations

What a wonderful gift!
There are few things better than being born to parents who really want you.

A child could be an orphan or a carer at any age. Parents can develop cancer and die at 35, or be killed in a car crash the day after they give birth or end up with MS/MND/early onset dementia and need care. Plan for the future and if something does happen - so a will, and who to care for the child if something happens. But parents should do that at any age

Well done op! I'm really happy for you! I hope it all goes smoothly xxx

Wow - there’s many men who are fathers at 49/50. Nobody judges them. Of course it’ll be ok op - there’s no age limit on being a good mum.

However please be aware of the v high miscarriage rates at your age ( 50%?). I would personally wait a bit longer before getting too attached or not to the idea of a pregnancy/baby. This is much easier said than done however.

Really hope it all works out.

I think it must be a wonderful age to have a baby actually if you are otherwise fit and healthy.

Congratulations! My dad was 50 when I was born. He was a terrific dad - age really wasn't an issue, and I don't see why it should be for you. I did find that people would assume he was my Grandad rather than my dad, but I tended to find that funny (not sure how he felt about it!). I also remember learning about average life expectancies, and feeling concerned that he might be gone while I was in my teens or early 20s. As it was, he lived into his 80s, and long enough to become a Grandad at the ripe old age of 85.

I wish you well with the pregnancy x

Ps Pricilla grandmother at 42 - wow - not sure you should be judging anyone dear

Of COURSE it's too old to have a baby. Stop talking nonsense people.!

There is a huge difference in setting out to have children late (in which case you may make decisions based on the optimum age, if there's even such a thing).

But we're not talking hypothetical ages.

We're talking about an actual real baby. The OP can hardly wind the clock back can she?!

Those who were saying they found being a child to older parents tough, are they really saying they wish they didn't exist?! I don't think they are, they're saying they would rather their parents had been younger. But that's not an option is it?

I have a school mum friend who had an accidental baby in her late 40s as a single mum (the baby's now now a 7 year old girl). They're a great pair :) Both bring a lot of joy to each other, that's obvious to see.

I'm 49 and would be devastated but my sons are grown and dh is 62. If this is your first then best of luck.

I agree parents can die at any age
My sister was 51. My dad 57. OP could end up a sprightly 90 year old. There's no point dwelling on what would be/could be. Embrace this gift and keep us updated.

Hope you're feeling a bit better op after reading these ( mainly ) lovely responses.

I'm a firm believer in this saying, as said by my dearly departed grandmother who spoke a lot of crap but who also was very wise " what's for you won't go against you "

And it's true

I'm almost 40 and have 2 dc, I've always thought what if??

I think your post will be getting shown to lots of husbands and partners

OP enjoy, get the right medical advice etc. but enjoy.....

Clearly Paulabluewhatever is a bit cross, so cross she had to say it twice, and try and naysay any argument against

There have always been and will always be Mums nearing 50. I remember children with older mums and almost as old siblings when I was growing up and I have a friend whose father is the oldest brother of her eldest sister's husband...... Obviously less common now but I know lots of parents who had children in their 40s and lets face it who would be making such a fuss if it was the father who was 49

I had mine at 39 and perfectly able to keep up with the fun and games, one revelation is that I do not have to keep up with their culture they want to know about mine - dead impressed I saw David Bowie on the Ziggy Stardust tour.

My parents are 80 and 84, and their lively group of friends christened the wrinklies at our wedding in 1990 are still jiving with fewer exceptions than my own group of friends, by 43 (breast cancer, bowel cancer, heart disease ) Lifes not fair so just make the best of it....

There was a lovely column in the Guardian by Luisa Dilner (if memory serves) about falling unexpectedly pregnant at 48ish. Hopefully it will be floating around the internet or been published as a book since.

Many congratulations!

I'm in two minds. 50% of me says go for it, you want this and we're only getting one shot at this life. The other part worries about the child who may lose a parent in his thirties or need to spend the peak of his life looking after someone elderly and frail.

Speak for yourself paulabluekitten.
I'm older than op but equally if not more fit than most people half my age. I have no doubt at all that I'd have the energy to run around after a toddler and the patience to handle a stroppy teen.
There are many things worse than being 'too old' that a parent can inflict on a child.

The other part worries about the child who may lose a parent in his thirties

This is interesting to me.

Is your thirties too young to lose a parent? I mean I'm sure it feels like it when you're in that situation but surely it's a pretty recent expectation that our parents will still be with us way past our thirties and well into our middle age?

None of uscknow when our time will be up. My Dad lost his Mom at 24 but she died young. His oldest sibling was only 33. My friend lot her Dad in her late 20's and he was 90 odd. Many many more people are living well into old age.

And GinnyWreckins you might choose to not go through with a pregnancy at that age but sayomg you'd want to commit suicide as Priscilla did is not something to defend.

Very best of luck OP

Ginnywreckin
Btw that old parent of mine is dead 21 years now.... it’s not all roses roses all the way with late parenting. Just a thought from my own perspective and experience.

Yes but it's not like OP put off this pregnancy on purpose because she getting her hair done or something. It's happened. As PP said, are you saying that your life is so bad because of the somewhat early death of a parent you would have rather never been born?

My DH will be 44 when our dc is born and I suppose close to OPs age when we have a second, if we do. Is it ideal? I suppose not, but life never is.