Slightly controversial, but are you expecting a gift after you give birth?

[allthecheese]

Appreciate the concept of 'push presents' is a little tacky. But after 9 months of carrying your baby, dealing with sickness and piles and varicose veins and weird cravings and people commenting on your body...are you expecting a gift from your partner? And if so, what?

I have to admit I'll be a little upset if my DH doesn't get me anything, but I'm not after an eternity ring with massive stones or anything crazy. Something like a simple gold pendant necklace.

I didn't think about a gift before the birth and following it I don't think I would really have noticed one much

Apologies your*

Didn't have anything, didn't expect anything either. Never knew it was a 'thing'. Tea, toast and a baby. Happy days. Totally overwhelmed with my first. I don't think I would have even noticed a present at the time to be honest.

I would never ever expect anything at all. I didn't have a baby to get something in return. We chose to have our baby because we wanted to be a family.
It's a terrible concept

Aw electro, you sound like you've really been through the mill. Your DH sounds like a rock and I'm glad you are feeling back on track.

DH bought me a gift after the birth of each of our DSs.

Cartier watch with DS1 (coincided with my birthday) and eternity ring for DS2 (coincided with Mother's Day).

I was quite happy to take "payment" for growing and birthing my kids, thanks very much. Didn't expect them, but I'm never going to turn down shiny stuff.

I bet you're the type of person to have a baby shower as well aren't you op

Ooh a Mulberry bag would have been lovely however I was over the moon with Brie and a glass of champers! 🍾

@Korez Lol!!! It's the wine i miss. The fine, fine wine.....!!

@BigBaboonBum I'm with you on the cheese 100% my friend. All the cheese.

Less so on the 'it's a privilege' idea of giving birth.... Honestly, just watching Howard's End recently made me angry all over again at how biology has basically harnessed us into a subjugated role for 4000 + years!!!

Not that i will EVER regret this experience and I take full responsibility for wanting this baby and being pregnant now with my hubster as the other half of the team. It's been incredible. But this is a means to an end for the two of us right now.... :)

Thanks Fekko, I'm much better thank you and my DH is amazing.

The whole idea of push presents just really pissed me off, it's just the selfishness and naivety of the thing. Still motherhood knocks that out of you!

I was stupidly happy with the rice pudding the nurses brought me.

I bet you're the type of person to have a baby shower as well aren't you op

What a cuntish thing to say Pinkhorse - put your claws away.

@Electromagnetic To be fair to OP she had asked the question in a reasonable way that is getting more and more blown out of proportion.....

'Push present' is indeed a horrible expression but it is traditional in some places and cultures (and has been for quite a long time - 'thousands of years' quite a long time) for the husband to give the new mum a gift, usually after the birth of her first child. I for one didn't think it was totally unreasonable so long as she didn't go all "I want a Pony" on her partner....

No. Not ever. I’m just hoping that me and baby are both alive at the end of it and that I don’t suffer any horrific life’s altering birth injuries.

I’m not sure why I'd need a present for carrying my own child? I’m not just some bloody vessel that he designated the honour of carrying his offspring to.

I was really expecting to get a card with a nice message, and was a bit gutted that DH didn't do that. It would have been nice if he'd said thanks or acknowledged the hard work of pregnancy and extreme pain of labour!!

I think it's nice if your DH gets you something to acknowledge the toll that pregnancy an childbirth has taken on you, but less so if it is because you are expecting it.

DH got me a really nice camera to take lots of photos of DS as he grows up. I'm no 4 of 4 and I think my parents got bored of taking photos by the time they got to me, there are barely any pictures of me as a child but heaps of my eldest sister! It upsets me a bit so that was a nice gift that we will hopefully all enjoy.

It’s no more selfish than wanting a present for any other life event or birthday. I’ve never got or wanted a Mother’s Day present but I don’t think women who do are selfish or grabby.

No presents here. I wouldn't have objected though,

@CL1982 it may be as old as time, but I find the idea very tasteless and as I said naive. Many practices have long cultural histories, doesn't mean they are not foolish. I'm thankful my DS and I are alive and that my DS has been so incredibly supportive. Diamonds, or any other present seem so pointless to "reward" me for not dying. But having calmed down a little I guess each to their own, even though I just don't get it.

Yes I have had a significant bit of jewellery for each of my children, it's marking a life event, not a present for my hard work. We chose them together and they have significance e.g. a gold flower for a flower name, a birth stone etc. My children love noticing when I wear them. Don't we have rings for weddings, charm bracelets for every occasion?

I suppose those who move in certain circles might expect a little diamond something from Tiffany's. Which I wouldn't say no to. But expecting something does sound a bit entitled.

I don’t see it as a reward but as a celebration and as a symbol, in the same way my wedding and engagement rings are. They are of course equally pointless in a practical sense.

Well one day my friend showed me her “push” present. I said I didn’t get one. She said well you didn’t push. I had a c-section for my twins. I hadn’t really thought about a present but even though she said she was joking afterwards I thought that was really mean and she’s not usually mean.

I agree Lules
Just like things like necklaces for 18th birthdays etc. They may or may not mean anything to you when you're 50 but they mean something at the time

I have told my husband he is to buy me a lovely bottle of red wine- and not the cheap stuff we usually buy!