Slightly controversial, but are you expecting a gift after you give birth?

[allthecheese]

Appreciate the concept of 'push presents' is a little tacky. But after 9 months of carrying your baby, dealing with sickness and piles and varicose veins and weird cravings and people commenting on your body...are you expecting a gift from your partner? And if so, what?

I have to admit I'll be a little upset if my DH doesn't get me anything, but I'm not after an eternity ring with massive stones or anything crazy. Something like a simple gold pendant necklace.

My oh has promised me a glass of my favourite whisky. It's been a very long time since I was able to enjoy a glass, and it's probably the thing on the 'banned' list that I've missed the most! A drop of whisky, a huge hug and kiss and of course a tiny squishy baby is pretty much all I want.

I wouldn't really expect one but dh is looking for one I know, he's been feeling helpless as I try and cope with a difficult pregnancy I think it makes him feel better. I'm not going to refuse it, I've been through the wars I don't not deserve some recognition

Yes. I did get a present after each birth.

A week after DD was born DH bought me a pair of trousers.
Before DS was born DH bought me a new new nappy bag.

Hoorah!

He didn't have to buy me either. He just thought it would be nice to pay for them.

I got a lovely message in a card and flowers which was perfect imo.

I carried 17lbs of babies and placenta but getting a present didnt dawn on me.

No not at all. I don't expect anything!

I’m not sure it would have crossed either of our minds. He did buy me an eternity ring on the first Christmas after the first baby.

Yes, partly because my 30th birthday and my DS’s birth almost coincided. I have a beautiful but not hugely expensive ring we chose together a few weeks later after my hands had shrunk back. I never take it off and it makes me happy looking at it.

I didn't even get to eat my toast!!

DH ate it after I was wheeled into emergency surgery. Baby is now 2 weeks old and he's still not made me replacement toast. The bastard

I would have appreciated some flowers. Giving birth and the postnatal period are rough!

Nope. Given what I went through to bring Ds into the world, if he had tried to put a financial value on it, I'd probably have thumped him. He did however bring me Turkish delight to the hospital and cook me steak with pepper sauce and chips when I got home (best meal ever).

My FiL gave us a high 4 figure cheque for stuff and told me to buy myself something nice though. Apparently giving his only son a son saw me shooting up the approval ratings even if it was his 5th grandchild.

I'm pregnant again and DH says I can have whatever I want and I'm tempted by a Whitby jet ring I saw but I'd probably buy it regardless and am only holding off in case my fingers swell.

My dp surprised me with a fitbit a couple of weeks after dd was born...saying that I deserved something after all I had been through (traumatic birth, long hospital stay, me and dd had infections) it was very sweet and I really appreciated it because it started me off on getting into fitness and loosing quite a bit of weight.

I was not expecting it at all. I didn't even think about a present afteŕ giving birth, I was too unwell to actually do anything. It was a lovely surprise though and dp was certainly very thoughtful.

DH bought me a sausage and egg mcmuffin and a hash brown. He's a keeper!

Yes yes, I get the whole "the baby is your present" thing, but it's a present both parents get at the end of the pregnancy. But only one of you has borne the brunt of making said baby, so why shouldn't the other give a present to recognise that fact?

I didn't get a present with either of mine, but I think that's because living with me during nine months of pregnancy -TWICE - was a far greater price to pay in the pursuit of our shared family than merely carrying and birthing the babies. He should have offered diamonds, I might have been nicer!

I didn't expect a present but hoped for a healthy baby. DH said he was so impressed by what women go through to give birth that he did get me a present. It was a knife and I've used it many times since and think of DH every time I do. Probably not for everyone though

I'm expecting an eternity ring, but more because it's tradition than anything. I'm certainly not after a diamond tennis bracelet or a million pound handbag!

There better be some Parma ham in my fridge when I get home (Dd due this week) but otherwise I find the whole thing strange.

Here in the States “push presents” are a big thing. Some women want expensive jewelry or a new car!!! Totally grabby and unnecessary imo! My dh asked me did I want anything in particular and I just said a healthy baby and an intact undercarriage.

Yes, a baby

If you was "push presents" you have to throw a "push party"

No, why would I?

I received a rose gold and diamond eternity ring.

I read somewhere that receiving an eternity ring upon the birth of your first child was tradition, until then I had no concept of 'push presents'.

So I told DH that I would quite like a very slim diamond entering ring and he bought me one.

Not really related to birthing his child, just I wanted one and he was kind enough to get me it.

A rare fillet steak and tiramisu!

a slim diamond entering ring

I wasn't expecting a gift after my first, but it was a lovely surprise when I get one.

Currently about to pop with number 4. Had a really shit week last week- just a culmination of work, family & health issues all peaked at once. Dh went upstairs & gave me the gift that he was going to give me after the birth to cheer me up. So I know I'm not getting anything afterwards this time!

I thought eternity rings were for anniversaries?

@JediStoleMyBike 'Course it is babes! We have a handshake and everything ;) Jooooooin us on the Light side!

But seriously....I just think being more supportive wouldn't hurt anyone, even if we disagree. I still, as a feminist, believe it exists. It's a great way to engender equality if we start by supporting each other and supporting healthy debate. The patriarchy wants us to rip ourselves apart - we do all the work for it if we actually do that :D That aside.....

It is an old tradition for new mothers to be literally 'showered' in gifts when they have a baby (partly where the whole 'Baby Shower' thing comes from). The gift (sometimes just flowers or corn dollies, often money or jewelry) was meant to show respect and thanks to the woman who had made a HUGE physical effort to have a baby on behalf of her and her spouse and it was also recognised that it was bloody dangerous and could potentially kill the mother and celebrated her success and the infant's safe arrival. DOn't forget for a lot of women they didn't have a choice as to whether they had a baby or not - they either needed to for lineage purposes and/or there was no contraception!

Don't pull a huge tantrum when you don't get that eternity ring no as that is not cool, don't expect poor DH to spend £1000 on a gift he can't afford either. And none of us are stupid enough to want a diamond tennis bracelet more than our babies to be healthy and hale which some women seem to be implying - come on girls - you know that's not what the OP meant! But if your husband wants to get you a thank you, what is the harm?