Pregnancy after infertility III

[stealthbanana]

Spotting, cramping, "is my clearblue digi accurate?",* viability scans, measuring behind, measuring ahead, high hcg, low hcg, morning sickness, lack of morning sickness, anomaly scans....

That's right, folks, it's the place where scanxiety really means something, where the feeling like you're always going to be on the wrong side of statistics nevers go away, and where moments of sheer terror are par for the course ...it's pregnancy after infertility.

Join if you want to hang out with a supportive group of women across all different stages of pregnancy who can't believe they got here and are hoping like hell its all going to be ok.

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2679146-Pregnancy-after-infertility-II

*hint for newbies: it's not

Icy - fab news about your slug 😬

Sammy - can't believe they didn't scan or listen to heartbeat to reassure you 😡😡

Next scan is the 24th so 9 days. Still have the ache this morning but trying to think positively. Thanks for all your support ladies. Xx

This has helped a bit, I thought ligament pain had to be sharp and stabby. Xx

Hi again all,

stealth thanks for the new thread...all happening on here!
Good to see some new faces and arrivals from mindnumbers. Congrats HP on the new arrival and Icy on the scan.
Sammy stressful with the cramping, agree maybe call your midwife and ask to check heartbeat as it will reassure you.
Zenzie my date bud are you still out there?
AFM, been mad with work, life and generally trying to keep occupied to keep the crazy at bay. 20 week scan yesterday and all looking good. So I can breath normal again for like 10 minutes. Of course last night DTD (TMI alert!) and small amount of spotting ensued, blamed DH of course for not being more gentle ( not that we are into bondage or red rooms or anything!!) Apparently it's all 'normal' as increased blood vessels in the cervix and all fine this morning but fucking hell...just when you
think you are in the clear..!!

Hello, hope everyone is well. There are so many on this thread it is hard to keep up! Sammylou what rubbish treatment, doesn't sound like they took you seriously at all! Is there anywhere else you could go?

At 10 weeks now, still the anxiety remains. Is so nice to come on here and realise that I'm not alone. I find that I am very tired a lot, and when I'm tired the fear is much worse! Yesterday was a terrible day, I just couldn't get it out of my head that this is all a big joke and something is bound to go wrong! Went to see Bridget Jones' baby last night which was nice really as saw her move through pregnancy and get her baby! Was thinking "hopefully that will be me..." Helped a little bit.

We have our scan on 1st November, hoping all is well. Feeling a little bigger and bloated. I am on steroids and going to start weaning next week, another little thing to be anxious about!!

It's gone off now which is reassuring. I think I'm going to try and wait until our 18 week scan unless anything changes.

Re sickness - metoclopramide worked wonders for me... and as of about 3 days ago I've come off of it now! Still have a few left for long car journeys, but not taking them day to day.

Wizzi - sorry about the spotting, I've heard it's very normal after dtd though.

wizzi least you have dtd. Df won't go near me yet - I understand why but I have needs !!!!!

Missing you guys but struggling to find the time to keep up with the thread now. Hope everyone is doing well. X

HP - hope everything is going well for you? Pop back whenever you can. Xx

Thanks Sammy, are you doing ok? Currently having lovely sleepy cuddles. My husband goes back to work on Monday. It's a bit nerve wracking. X

HP I'm glad all is going well with your baby. Good luck for Monday - I'm sure you'll be fine.

Mist I'm sorry to read about your worry. When I got my bfp I went out and bought at least ten tests as I was sure I'd want to keep checking that the bfp was real. I only used three before stopping as I found looking at the lines and comparing the darkness was stressing me out and causing me to worry.

Sammy I'm glad the pain has eased though I'm sorry to read that they weren't more supportive. And, thanks for the ligament pain link, that also sounds what I've been experiencing.

Goodness Wizzi that must have given you a shock. I'm glad it stopped. Also, Friends, that's great that your bleeding has stopped as well.

Great news on your scan Icy! Congratulations.

Yeah I'm ok thank you. Just counting down the days to my next scan. Totally in awe of all of you who managed 12-20 weeks with no extra scans! Xx

Scans reassure df and I.

No way could go 12/20 then nothing till 36!!

It's crazy isn't it...no scan now until 36 wks?? So I worry about going for scans and worry when I'm not having them!! Don't see MW until end Nov which seems ages. Anyone used on of those apps to hear the baby heartbeat? I've downloaded two and both rubbish. Anything for reassurance!

Hi everyone, hope you are all good? It's a bit quiet on here!

Wizzi I wouldn't trust those apps. There was a thread about it on here the other day where someone (not pregnant) tried it on their foot and it came up as a fine foetal heartbeat.

I have a doppler which I used from around 15 weeks. It gave me alot of reassurance when I hadn't felt movement but when I went to hospital at 23 weeks as the baby hasn't moved, the midwife used a doppler and there were a few different sounds, mine, baby, placenta and this whooshing sound. I couldn't tell tell difference in any of them really so since then I've stopped using my doppler.

I just wanted to ask everyone about induction. Starting to think about this now as have an appointment tomorrow and they will ask me to confirm where I want to give birth. The consultant has offered me an induction at 40 weeks (if I make it). She said she offers to all ivf ladies due to anxiety. I really want to try a water birth in a birth centre but you can't have an induction.

I don't want to make the wrong mistake just incase something goes wrong and I didn't take the induction.

What is everyone else planning? Sorry if it seems a bit early for some of you to be thinking about this.

Wizzi, I'm here! Sorry I've been a bit slack keeping up. Had my daughter away with GPs last week so my husband and I had lots of sex (for us), quite lovely to have sex not for ttc! No spotting though, thankfully.

Vixx, I'll be having a c section this time around. I was induced last time due to pre eclampsia at 38w, laboured well but baby was facing the wrong way (not breech but ear first!) and didn't descend well. Pushed for ages to no avail, hence EMCS. My consultant gave me a 20% chance of vaginal delivery with vbac and he's very pro vbac! With those odds I'd rather just go ELCS. It's a shame but the birth is such a tiny part of the whole experience.

Sammy, all things crossed for you.

Vixx, I had an induction. I obviously don't have anything to compare it to but I found it ok. Apparently they say that induction can cause a more intense painful labour but I managed mine on tens, gas and air and one dose of oramorph alone. I was very pleased with the care I was given throughout. I wasn't sure if I wanted to use water anyway but obviously this was not possible in the end because I was induced. If gas and air works for you it is fab. I was falling asleep between contractions in the end! I don't think labour has to be as scary as everyone says. Yes it's painful and yes it's hard work and utterly exhausting but I found my experience actually was ok in the end.

I had 2 vaginal tablet pessaries and then they ruptures my membranes which ramped up my contractions but they still needed to put me on the synthetic oxytocin drip to make me go into active labour. I had a 2 hour pushing stage which I found so so tiring but I managed and I thought I was the biggest whimp going. I hope all you ladies have a good experience of labour. If you try to stay positive and in control it can really help. :)

Wizzi I also think the apps are unreliable - please be careful with them. I don't even use or trust my Doppler anymore.

Vixx how far along are you now? I've not had an induction or given birth any other way yet.... But for what it's worth I don't get the choice over early induction despite being an ivf pregnancy as well . Id go for induction at 40 weeks plus 12 but probably not before, unless medically needed. For no reason other than unless it's medically needed I don't see the point in doing more to yourself than needed (and God knows I've used enough pessaries etc through the last year). Just my opinion :)

Hi! I am a bit of a lurker on these breads. I had a tough time getting pregnant and lost 2 pregnancies between my 2 DDs.

But I have 2 lovely girls now, so I am just weighing in with thoughts and experiences!

When thinking about induction ask your consultant if you can have sweeps from 39weeks instead. It gives you a greater chance of going into labour naturally and so you can have water birth. It's kind of a half way measure! My consultant did it for me. I had a sweep at. 39 weeks, then Again at 39+4 and had my baby 3hours later!

I hear you all saying you worry about what anyone else thinks, how you feel. I would say this, I wish you all the best and never worry about what others are thinking. They are all thinking the same thing! We want a happy healthy baby!

Thank you Stealth and Genghis

I decided to phone GP this morning and explain the situation. They've agreed to do a beta test. (That's all I was hoping for as it's too early for a scan, 5+4, but was surprised they did!) Second blood on Weds and hopefully results at the end of the week. I hope they're able to get an indication of whether it's good or bad news and it doesn't instead add to the uncertainty.

Vixx, I had an induction at 40+4. Agreed on it as was my ivf due date, as a compromise rather than bang on their 40 weeks. I understand your feeling of not wanting to refuse it and then something happening! The risks of still birth are slightly higher after IVF but still very low (from what I read last time). Horrible to think about though. I did ask for sweeps before 40 but in my case they didn't do anything. It's hard to be sure but I feel induction made the birth get painful more quickly (too quickly for epidural) but there were no complications and DD was born safely. I think I just had the one pessary. In some ways (after labour didn't start on its own) it was quite reassuring to know the date. But facing birth again I feel a bit more nervous because I didn't experience it happening without medical assistance!

Thank you for sharing that information HP. Did they originally offer you an induction or did you have it because you went over?

Boris I am going to be 26 weeks on Thursday. I didn't realise they offered induction to people just because of ivf and if they hadn't said it then it wouldn't have crossed my mind.

MooBeana I have a midwife appointment tomorrow so will speak to them about the sweeps. Sounds like an ideal solution?

Hello mist I never knew the still birth rate was higher for ivf babies going to spend the evening googling now.

I only had an induction because I was overdue. I was booked in at term + 12 days. I had 2 failed sweeps prior to that. I can't advise you on whether it would be a good idea to take the induction at term or not based on your circumstances but just that it isn't necessarily as bad as you might think.

Vixx, they've Planned for me to have induction due to IVF at 40 weeks. I'm not overly happy about it at all and intend to tweak my nips as much as possible from 37 weeks onward (the book "expecting better" says its the only technique with evidence) but I will begrudgingly accept it when it comes. It's been too hard a battle, I just feel like I have to agree with anything that has a tiny chance of lowering the smallest of risks

Hi all I found you! Sorry you are having such a scary time Sammy. How many weeks are you now?

Hi to everyone. I am 28 weeks now, further on than I got with DS. I am having regular growth scans and monitoring and all willw so far.

Some consultants in my trust offer induction for ivf babies at 40 weeks, not sure if mine does. I'm not going to accept it though, pretty much I have decided that if a course of action is recommended to me specifically with reasons behind it I will consider it. If it is 'well we do this with all women who are ivf/40+10/whatever' I will decline. If I get to term and all is well I'm aiming for a home VBAC.

Vixx don't Google random info, ask your consultant for the evidence, chat to your midwife, think about what's right for you. Maybe think about seeing consultant midwife -they can talk through all the risks with you. My trust will offer the pool on labour ward with some inductions, the ones that don't need syntocinon. I wouldn't rely on sweeps, the evidence suggests they only work if you are ready to get going anyway.

blue I've seen it work in stalled labour! Worth a go

Oh Vixx, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm sorry :( There has been limited research to show that. I think it's partly why there is a policy to induce with ivf in some areas but not all do it. As Hellotrees says, discuss it with your midwife and consultant.