Pregnancy after infertility III

[stealthbanana]

Spotting, cramping, "is my clearblue digi accurate?",* viability scans, measuring behind, measuring ahead, high hcg, low hcg, morning sickness, lack of morning sickness, anomaly scans....

That's right, folks, it's the place where scanxiety really means something, where the feeling like you're always going to be on the wrong side of statistics nevers go away, and where moments of sheer terror are par for the course ...it's pregnancy after infertility.

Join if you want to hang out with a supportive group of women across all different stages of pregnancy who can't believe they got here and are hoping like hell its all going to be ok.

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2679146-Pregnancy-after-infertility-II

*hint for newbies: it's not

Welcome chocolate, and whispered congratulations! Shudders at the memory of the betas

I think I need to start doing that Sammy as sometimes I lie there so hungry but so tired it's hard to get up.

Welcome chocolate. Glad to hear your betas went well. They are very scary!

Hi everyone!! I've been away for a few weeks so just did a big catch up. Nice to read everyone's news.

Mist so sorry to read your news. I'm thinking of you. Do take care of yourself, it's such a hard thing to go through.

Lucie don't worry about the eating. I was the same and also thought I'd become huge but it's been fine. The insane hunger and weird cravings have tapered off for me in the last few weeks (I'm 15 weeks now).

Grumpel the holiday sounds fab. We're also thinking of doing something like that, but I'd be about 28 weeks by the time we're able to go. We're uncertain whether to go then or save holiday for when the baby is here, but no idea if we'd be able to go away in the year after it's born! Any advice from those of you that have had children already?

Sammy so exciting, two girls!

Welcome icy and chocolate, great to see you both here.

Hp great to hear from you and i actually found it really reassuring hearing your labour experience, I'm pretty terrified as i seem to focus on all the bad things that can happen!

So update from me, I had three weeks in NZ, it was great to be able to tell my family the news face to face. I had a scan yesterday (15+4) as I missed the 12 week scan with NHS before I went away (had private instead). I was amazed they said yesterday they could tell the sex, but I said I don't want to know! It was cool to see the baby, it did a punch at one point which was funny!

I told some people at work this week which seems insane. I can't believe this is actually real.

Hope you all have a good day!

So I had some brown spotting in my knickers when I woke up this morning and a bit more when I went to the toilet with some pink mixed in not long after putting the pessary in. It's a little worrying. It seems to have eased off since and stopped for now but I'm in a bit of a panic. I'm 10 weeks tomorrow. I've read in some places in can be common when the placenta takes over but I don't know. Has anyone else had spotting or bleeding around this time?

Thanks v much for the welcome ladies - can't quite believe it all yet. Feel like the doctor could phone at any time and tell me there was a mix up with my betas....

sammy congratulations on your twin girls. That's lovely news - hope you're not feeling too tired with carrying two!! I guess that means you'll deliver a bit early?

lucie obviously can't advise on spotting as never made it that far but I did read a good article on fertility friends re spotting and how it can be compared to sneezing ie a sneeze may mean a cold or may be something completely different. Saying that, spotting always sends me into a blind panic so I hope you're ok

kiwi am so glad to be joining you and big wow to being 15 weeks - that's awesome!!! And fantastic news on the scan - that must feel like a big milestone xx

Welcome chocolate - great to see you here!

Oh Lucie I can imagine how stressful that is. I had a bit of brown spotting at 7w and it sent me into an absolute meltdown. Unfortunately there's no way of knowing what it means but there is a very good chance it's just your body getting rid of some old blood etc. When is your next scan?

On the eating front, I was an absolute food monster the first trimester. I bought lots of those Bounce protein balls and used to wake up at 2am and have one of them - they seemed to tide me over. Other than that, I was all about the pastries; they were the only thing that seemed to fill me up.

kiwi welcome! Hope the trip back home was lots of fun. Congrats on 15w!

Oh what a stressful day! So after my last message I had more brown in the afternoon and it was more than just a spot or two! I have been in meltdown but I managed to get a private scan this evening and everything is absolutely fine with the baby. It's still measuring 4 days ahead so she put me at 10w3d and we got to hear the heartbeat which was amazing. She said it was really good and strong and I got a little heart beat bear with the sound on...complete sucker for marketing gimmicks lol. She had a really good look around and said if I hadn't of said about the bleeding she probably wouldn't have noticed but she thought she could see a really tiny bruise in the uterus. She said its normal and it's just like getting a little bruise on your arm or somewhere. She said she has seen people with huge ones and they have been fine. She said she wouldn't expect much more bleeding if it was from that. I asked if there were any signs of miscarriage and she said no definitely not, the cervix is closed, the baby is still nice and high and everything looks good. She had a look around for cysts and polyps etc but again nothing so that has put our minds at rest a bit as we really were expecting the worst. We have another scan Saturday with the harmony so that's good.

Here's the one causing all the trouble! Can't believe how much it's changed in a couple of weeks!

Oh Lucie, I'm so glad everything is ok. Must have been so hard today, glad you got in immediately for a scan. Lovely pic :). Xx

Really pleased to hear it lucie. And great pic. It's a great moment when they turn from blob to baby shaped!

Chocolate - yes all being well they'll be delivered between 36 and 37 weeks. I've been shattered, but a bit better now. Xx

Lucie I'm delighted to read all was well, and what a lovely picture!

Mist I hope you're doing okay?

Welcome Chocolate!

Thanks Kiwi and Genghis. I'm OK. Just peeking my head in.

Lucie happy for your reassuring scan.

I've told a few people around me. I'm not sure they'll really know how to support but I thought it was a good idea to let them know so they don't say anything inappropriate! (and because some knew I was having treatment). I spoke to the clinic's counsellor, who was quite helpful, and tried to ring another support organisation but they've been a bit useless trying to phone me back . I may still try but they weren't really there for me when I needed them most! Keeping busy with DD and feeling all the more grateful for having her and for her making me smile.

Pleased to see other good news here :)

goes back to mostly lurking

Hi everyone, have posted a couple of times on here but mainly lurking. Wondering if anyone got any top tips to manage the anxiety before the 12 week scan? Mine is on Tuesday and I am worried sick. It is making me quite miserable!

I have convinced myself that something is wrong and can't get myself out of this mindset. Today a colleague announced a pregnancy at 14 weeks and I still had those same feelings that I had before I got pregnant of jealousy. So weird! Since then I have convinced myself that it is a sign that everything will go wrong, and I will have to watch her pregnancy while coping with my disappointment. DH says that is the maddest thing he has ever heard....It's true, I think I have finally lost it!

Aww Jen I think we all feel like that before scans unfortunately! I've had two now the first at 7w5d and I started crying as soon as I got in the room and the second one was last night because of my scare with the spotting and both dh and I were terrified the worst has happened. I practically had a panic attack when I got in the room as it was the same place that I went when we found out about the ectopic pregnancy I had last time so it brought back bad memories and I didn't want to have to use that place again but it was the only one available. I don't really have any tips on how to get through it you just have to go and get it done and pray for the best. It's an amazing feeling when they tell you everything is ok and you get a good look at your little bean.

Mist, good to hear from you and glad the clinic counsellor was helpful. Hope you are doing ok.

Lucie that can picture is so cute

Congratulations on the 2 girls Sammy!

Chocolate *waves

Hi mist, hope you are doing ok (well as best as you can in the circumstances).

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well.

Stealth I can't believe next week you will be able to say you're due next month!!

Jen sorry to hear you're feeling anxious. It is an horrible feeling, it's almost as if we tell ourselves it's bad news to prepare ourself. Self.preservation. As for the jealousy it's crazy that those feelings that you have before being pregnant are still there. I feel the same.

Hello folks. Welcome to new friends! On my phone so can't do many personals.

Kiwi, glad your trip home went well. How lovely to be able to tell family in person.

Sammy, with your shorter gestation time, when will the babies be born?

Someone asked me a few pages back about having a c section for this pregnancy. It's because last time around I ended up with an EMCS following a pretty good labour-everything went ok but I pushed for ages, the baby was posterior and had an awkward head position and just wouldn't descend. My doctor looked at the notes from my last labour and gave me a pretty low chance of being able to deliver naturally though of course he'd be very happy to go for it if I want to. But with a high chance if going for a VBAC and ending up back at EMCS we'll opt for an ELCS.

Meanwhile, I finally had my scan yesterday, at 21 weeks. It went very quickly and the sonographer just kept saying "yep, lovely, that looks perfect, that's great, just right. I'm seeing everything I want to see" and then we were done! Feeling relieved. Here's a photo of our little bean, folded in half with the foot touching the forehead!

Hi Zenzie, they'll probably be born between the 25th Feb and 3rd March.
Lovely scan pic, you've got a little acrobat!

Jen - I don't have any tips I'm afraid, as I'm always a wreck before scans! If you find the answer do let me know, but be assured you are not alone!

I'm suffering today, I think it's ligaments. Walking hurts :(. Particularly when I step with my left leg.
I'm not worried as the pain isn't there when I'm resting.
We dtd last night (about the 3rd time since July, poor DH) so perhaps that's caused it. Either that or it's trapped wind!

Sammy, we'll be delivering a around the same time! Mine should be that week too.

zenzie, what a lovely pic - must be great to have the 20 week scan done and know all is well.

What stage did people start to really show? I'm 16 weeks and thought I'd be much bigger by now. I can see I'm bigger, but we told all our friends last night and they said they couldn't tell. Although one did say she could tell my boobs are bigger!

First pregnancy, kiwi, I didn't have to get out of my normal jeans until about 18-20 weeks and even then wasn't showing much until about 24 weeks. It's very different this time! I started wearing maternity stuff about 14 weeks. At 22 weeks I look quite pregnant but could hide it with the right clothes.

Thanks so much for your kind messages, nice to feel like I'm not alone in my craziness! Vixfacee I think you're right, is all about self-preservation...

kiwiblue I am 12+ 2 and feel like I have a little bulge, but for me very hard to tell as I have been on steroids for what feels like a lifetime and they have left me quite bloated (as with my face-moon face!)

LOVELY scan pics

Think it's normal to feel nervous before a scan jenbot

I've got 20w in 2w time and worried tho sure deep down you and me and all are ok

The fact my belly has grown huge and still sick various days kinda reassure me

Waves to everyone

Kiwi 15 weeks wow you're flying! Lovely to be able to tell distant fam face to face.

Had to tell family this weekend (9 weeks-not ideal). OH emailed a family we met on holiday as a reason why we're not going to be able to time holidays with them again (not whole reason, it's actually an exW kick off standard but he doesn't like the world to know what a fucking tyrant she is in our lives). Anyway they told their kids, their kids told his kids on FaceTime, so we officially told them and showed them the scan pics. Younger DSD (9) unbeknown to me text my mum "Icy has a BABY!!!" and an hour later I get a whatsapp from mum saying "???!!!" So had to call her, and then ring my dad (who had been over for lunch earlier). Dad told my brother yday so got a call. My stepbrother clearly knows as I've had 2 insta photo likes off him and he's waaaay too cool for school/my insta feed 🙈

anyway. Want to ask for reassurancere exercise. I'm not a fit flea or anything, but went through a running/bodypump phase. Have been treadmill-dodging since January (IVF, FET, DR/stimming - always an excuse!) but I've decided i need to take this in hand and avoid becoming a blob and causing problems down the line. I did 20 mins of jogging 8kmph on 2% incline followed by some medium weights (squats, rows etc). Feel fine. Is it okay to do this every day/EO day/3 times a week? I know lots of docs tell runners to stop running when they're doing barren treatment? What are you all doing? I also try to walk 2.5km to Waterloo from work 2 or 3 evenings a week and when my railcard expires on Nov I intend to just get a Waterloo terminal ticket to incentivise more walking as I suspect if/as this progresses I'll need to walk more/jog less?

Oops pressed send!!

sammy which ligaments hurt? I'm scared of all pain (any pain) - is it manageable?

lucie glad you got reassurance on the spotting & also thanks for the explanation, it's good to know an actual reason for it.

jen definitely get your pre-scan freak out. The only thing that keeps me from being permanently terrified is a friend IRL who's had 3 MCs and says "if it's all normal down there, you're almost certainly fine". I don't really believe that bc I've read enough about MMCs, but short of spending my entire salary on daily scanning it's all I can hold onto.

Happy Monday anyway fiends. My twerp small man boss is off still so a lovely start.