Staying posifrickentive- Thread 9 for ladies pg after mc

[sundayraspberry]

Right that wasn't so hard! Let's hope everyone finds us still

hi congrats on the scan and all been well...
well I don't think ill feel better until I am pregnant again but then when that happens I think im just stressing again so its a catch 22... I think its best for me to wait but I dont think I can... may just let nature take its course... if it happens it happens may stop working out the ovulation and feeling like we have to do it when I know the time is right, which worked this month... god its so hard.. x

You need to do whatever is right for you. I spent lots of time grieving my last baby through counselling and also with my husband - he actually joined my counselling sessions. It was fucking hard, to be honest, but I'm so glad I allowed myself to grieve. We waited until a month after my due date before we tentatively started trying again and then I got pregnant first month A new pregnancy won't get rid of the grief but it may be the way you need to help yourself heal. Only you will.know.

Afternoon all.
Just checking in to say hello really.
Congratulations on your scan double! Lovely how many healthy scans are filtering through.
I bought myself upto bed around half 1 as I started getting a stabbing pain on my left side and the cyclizine is really working on me. The foggy head thing is unreal! I spent an hour basically comatose. The stabbing pains have scared me... instantly thought the worst and wondered who to turn to when I've not seen a midwife yet and gp is only aware as I asked for the nausea meds. Docs also switch the phone lines off from 1 til 4pm. Stabbing pain gone but left with a really dull ache in my lower back on the left.

Congrats double

Could it just be the dreaded trapped wind lynsey?

When pregnant with my daughter, I went to the hospital at 7 weeks with exactly the pains you are describing, Lynsey. The sonographer found what she called 'the biggest pocket of trapped bowel gas I have ever seen'. Try not to worry.

Get your bum in the air! Problem solved

Definitely remember the trapped wind feeling and how scared I was that it was something wrong - I had to rub my tummy quite a lot but it helped, ahem, dislodge the wind!

I've got a glucose tolerance test tomorrow - dreading it as I hate needles!

Thank you Carrick. I feel like the longer I wait to try again the harder it will be I wanted to fall before August as that's when I would have been due and I feel like to would make the pain a bit easier to deal with knowing I was pregnant again... may seem weird... I feel like I have all these time frames in my mind and it's just adding more pressure than I need to have... feeling shit tonight got hold and cold sweats and a bad nose not my week :(

Hi all, just checking in again to say hello. charlotte so sorry you're going through this again.

The sex chat made me laugh - it is the last thing I feel like doing at the moment! I'm so, so tired. Beds are for sleeping in for me! I've had a few good nights sleep since my scan last week which is amazing after a couple of weeks of no sleep & MC nightmares.

I'm feeling a bit less mental - but still fairly! 1 more week to wait until the next scan where I should be about 8+3. I was measuring a few days small last scan so hope to catch up. My first MMC stopped growing around 8 weeks so it's a wobbly time for me. I can't believe I'm only 7ish weeks, it is going very slowly!!

Just a quick pop in to say thank you for the reassurances. Not sure if it was wind or not but pain has subsided thankfully. I'm now edging towards booking a reassurance scan when I was 100% not going to. I guess I just need to know if this is all worth it. princess I'm 7+2 by my dates so we're similar. I actually really feel like this one is going to stick so I think that's what's getting me through right now.

Good luck with the GTT northern. Is a routine thing because of family history or something or are you expecting a positive result? Think I'd be most bothered about the manky lucozade they give you and the empty stomach. Ugh.

princess that's great that you've had some better nights, it makes such a difference.

Glad the pain has gone Lynsey. I think at 7+2 you're probably past the "oh shit could it be ectopic" stage, which is always a relief I find.

9+3 today and my stomach has overtaken my boobs . Admittedly my boobs are more of the 2 fried eggs variety so that ain't hard, but as whatser said last week, it's one of those "eek, something is happening!" moments. Bloody freezing out there today, wish I had taken a coat to school I was shivering in the playground willing them to get on and ring the damn bell!

So despite having a reassurance scan last week I'm still anxious. Scan was good, baby correct size and heartbeat present. But im at the same stage I was at when I lost my last baby and its on my mind constantly. Trying not too obsess and think I feel totally different to last time and ive had a scan but still can't shake off this horrid feeling of impending loss.

I've booked another reassurance scan for next week because I am feeling all wobbly about everything. I'm 10+2 today. Last time, at this stage, I was in a bubble of excited contentment, thrilled at the fact I couldn't do up my jeans, puking my guts up regularly and really quite happy about it. Only to find out at a scan at 10+5 that my baby had died. They dated my lost baby as 7+4 according to measurements and I have already past that stage this time and saw a heartbeat at 8+3 (Measuring ahead of my lmp which put me at 7+6 I think). I've got every reason to be positive but I cant get 10+5 out of my head. It is looming towards me and I'm terrified. Also, I think the reason I am so worried is because now I know that if we were to get bad news I would go through exactly what I went through last time again. I was forced to miscarry naturally because the hospital would not knowledge my private scan and when they scanned me, five days later due to Christmas, my waters had gone and the sac collapsed so they couldn't get accurate measurements. They made me wait a week to be re-scanned to 'confirm' mc, by which time I had started to bleed so they refused to scan me and told me to let nature take its course. I then bled heavily for an entire week before finally delivering my baby alone in the early hours in the bathroom. They had said to expect a heavy period but what I went through was much more like my labour experience with my daughter towards the end. I remember saying to my DH, 'I feel like I am in labour, but I cant be, it must be nearly over now because I've been bleeding for a week'. I honestly thought I was going mad and, for the first time in my life, I drank to blot out what was happening because I couldn't cope. I had begged for a D&C at the hospital and they refused saying it wasn't 'procedure'. The thought of going through all of that again is horrifying. I couldn't cope, I really couldn't. That is what is freaking me out I think. Im almost at the same stage as last time. In my heart I am convinced history will repeat itself and I don't know how to cope. Sorry to offload all of that. I know this thread is about being positive and I will try. I'm going to try and talk it all though with DH later but I just needed to vent. I'm so sorry, Charlotte, I hope you are getting lots of support in rl

I am doing OK day at home today recovering and chilling out.. I haven't told many people this time as i don't want the questions from everyone... those who do know have been messaging me so I'll be ok. I have my fingers crossed for you all who are pregnant and really hope all your babies are growing nice and healthy. It's so hard not to stress after all we have been through time is a healer and I'm sure once your bundles of joy are here they will make the pain you once had a little easier to deal with xx

Yeah just routine for GTT as my bmi is high. Fingers crossed for the results!

Fingers crossed indeed!

Glad you are having a gentle day charlotte and that you have support in RL. It's such a confidence blow isn't it. I wish you a boringly straightforward textbook pregnancy and healthy baby in the very near future.

Thank you think I'm going to take a step back from monitoring and doing it when we should and just take a more chilled out approach. There's no rush I spose I need to tell myself x

whatser i hit that milestone last week. My bad news scan and mmc were 11+4 and 11+5. I'm so glad I'm past that - baby only developed up to 6 weeks but I don't blame you for booking a reassurance scan.

I missed the sex chat bit but I'm certainly starting to get more in the mood again! We've avoided it for the first trimester because the start of my mmc was "caused" by sex and I had a massive bleed. Feeling better now!

whatser that sounds like a horrific experience. My experience was totally different. Not positive obviously, but it was as good as it could have been.

Anyone else feeling v emotional right now? My list of things that have made me cry (well - teary at least!) today is:

1. thinking of how proud Marcus Willis' mum must be
2. my school canteen ran out of chocolate brownies
3. listening to Stephen Crabb talking about his childhood - I'm not even a Tory
4. my trousers won't fasten & I'm fat
5. my lesson about refugees

I think that's it so far...!

Not particularly teary but I am very short fused and liable to fly off the handle at the moment. DD is being particularly irritating, in best 4 year old fashion and I am not handling it as calmly as normal.

whatser don't apologise, freak outs and upsets are as much what this thread is here for as positivity. Well done organising another scan, you're doing so well, it's murder getting through with sanity intact. I was very traumatised by my pregnancy with DD (straight after my late loss), it is a huge mental ordeal and sustaining that level of anxiety for so long takes a huge toll. Are you having any counselling at all? It's something I am considering if I find the strain gets too much. I think sometimes having a safe place to voice your dark thoughts without them being minimised and dismissed is really helpful. Friends/family are always so keen to get you to snap out of it and blithely say "it will be fine!" and I wanted to shake them and scream You don't KNOW that, even the bloody doctors don't know that!!
There's a particular pressure isn't there as you face your previous loss stage. I feel sick at the very thought of 20 week scans, and that's the legacy of being told DD1 was dead during one. Nothing will change that so I guess it's a case of accepting your feelings and being kind to yourself at these especially stressful points. It's ok to be a total mess, and we are all here to listen and understand xx

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate your words. You understand in a way that no one else can. I've been offered counciling but at the moment dh and I are in relate so I'm focusing my energies on that. We've had a rough time of it over the last couple of years and the mc nearly broke us. It's going well though so I'm hopeful. Just need to take it one day at a time. I've had enough for today though so I'm going to bed!

Hello all. Apologises in advance but I need to let this out...partner blooming useless!!
I'm having serious anxiety issues but not about the expected topic.
I feel so stressed about how the nausea is affecting me. About taking the tablet to help it ease off, because sometimes it gets stuck in my throat and I taste it, because I'm scared that'll make me sick. About what I can manage to eat and where I'll be when I suddenly NEED to eat. About being on the bus, getting my kids to nursery on time, about the tiredness suddenly kicking in and not being able to rouse myself and about how awful I feel on an evening when I just about drag myself up the stairs. Also about brushing my teeth and if I can do it without gagging or my stomach churning...only to wake up and do it all over again.
Am I being totally crazy? This is starting to eat me up and it's really making me struggle. I can't bare my partner to touch me, kids are unbelievably annoying (or not, its just me with low tolerance) and I just can't handle it all!!
I feel like I need to be in my own tiny bubble until this bit passes and then I can face life again. I can't even bring myself to properly clean my house and that makes me feel worse because although I know it's not, I feel like I'm sitting in a big, dirty dump. Everything is just too much right now.
Sorry for dumping that all out on you all. I just needed to let it all out. I don't feel better for it though

lynsey i had a stage like that at 8-11 weeks. I literally stayed in bed all day. DH has been so busy with work but I left him to cook and clean and walk the dog. I didn't like him touching me or breathing on me, or tapping, or burping I hardly brushed my teeth for three weeks because it made me violently sick. Before my scan I told DH i didn't want to be pregnant any more as I couldn't handle it emotionally. It's really strained every part of my patience and emotions.

It's all beginning to pass now though and I actually swept the floor this morning and cooked dinner last night.

I think part of me worried that all the suffering would be for nothing. I was grieving the last baby and this baby all in one and just getting in a terrible muddle. I knew I should have been excited but I was just resentful of the sickness and tiredness, thinking that it could all be for nothing.

I'm getting emotional now.

Anyway, I'm cuddled up with the dog, both under a blanket, him with his head on a cushion, and am going to send my invoices out. So that'll be a nice little task to get done! Sending invoices is always a positive thing!