Staying posifrickentive - Thread 7 for ladies pregnant after mc

[Metalhead]

New thread for all the lovely ladies facing the trials and tribulations of pregnancy after mc!

lilliana I don't think it's too early to let your gp surgery know, do you know of they'll refer you to the epau? I had to fight to get an early scan this time so I don't think its ever too early to make the Dr aware.

Thanks guys.

My GP was closed this afternoon but will go to them first thing to be referred again for a scan. She said before it was really common and it was like a 1-3% chance of anything going wrong especially as bleed is outside the womb went away thinking nothing of it at 9 weeks healthy baby bouncy around a week and a half later boom heavy bleed still didn't panic as she said it could pass. But deep down I knew. Had to be booked in for a d+c baby was just over 9 weeks was getting ready for my dating scan on the Monday had the m/c on the Saturday.
So this is why I am so anxious because I was in that 1-3% and I'm so scared I will be again :(. Gotta stay positive though no wipe away blood is a good sign. I did notice symptoms fading last time so will be symptom spotting maniac. I did read it's really uncommon to lose a baby through this so I am hoping this is literally going to be my lucky time.

tabby massive congratulation your you BFP and seeing a healthy baby. Welcome it's lovely to have you on board.

liliana really hoping will disburse by itself the good thing is that it's not behind baby like before and it's further away but I think the bleed is bigger. I do have a good feeling though that it's going to be ok but I can't stop feeling anxious now more than I was.
4 weeks is the time I booked in well 4 and a half I don't think it matters tbh Hun it's nice to get that all booked in though makes it feel more real.

jessie will be straight onto GP tomorrow I can't believe it either I have to be Referred again after all my history 3 m/c one caused by blood clot late on in first trimester scan again showing blood clot it's so bad. Wishing these need few weeks away!!!

Has anyone got any tips how to calm down a little? I'm just convinced things will go wrong that any twinge or pain or anything and i'm on high alert and i'm only a few weeks! Time is going to go v-e-e-ry slowly before first scan at this rate

I don't know if I will get a referral to EPU - and had 2 mc, reasons unknown; would they normall refer for this? I'm working for the next 2 days so will ring mw on Monday and get the ball rolling.

Keys the chances sound good. We're all here anytime you need a vent and have everything crossed for you x

My old drs surgery referred me after 2 mcs and requested an early scan for me. However in this pg my new surgery (house move) refused to refer until I started spotting. They said the epau wouldn't see me but it was the same hospital as before and they were more than happy to scan me every two weeks until my routine 12 week scan.

I think it all depends on your surgery or trust! You can request a referral and hopefully you'll get an early scan based on your history.

bowser how far along are you? I failed at keeping calm and I'm still freaking out now but I was given some good advice.

Right now you are pregnant. Until told otherwise you are pregnant. Everything is ok and you need to enjoy each day. Ignore the twinges and random symptoms - you know the ones you should look out for. Everything else is just pregnancy fun.

Somebody those are great words. Have screen shotted your post and will repeat this to myself as needed. Bless you

Great words of advice somebody I'll wait and see what the mw says when I speak to her wrt early scans. I'm not expecting much though!!

Hi Sophia, I'm 7+1 so too early to be an AF related thing. It keeps popping up as brown discharge rather than spotting and there's nothing when I will. So as you, Liliana, and Somebody this isn't an unusual pregnancy thing and I just need to remember that. I think I'm just very sensitive to any sensations down their and when I see the discharge I interpret the various twinges as something more sinister.

Somebody, unfortunately I can't get my scan brought forward as I'm being seen at the regional miscarriage specialist clinic and it's an hour and half away. I also rang the local EPU last weekend, was told the earliest they could see me was Thursday and that I'd need a referral from my GP as it's new pg. I think ringing 111 at the weekend and the nurse's non-plussed reaction to me crying about not feeling pg because I didn't pee in the night was what I needed to pull myself together . Is there still some space on the first trimester fretting bench?

It's a very spacious bench Mimi

Bowser - I think we're all in the same boat with the constant symptom spotting. I haven't found a solution yet except to keep yourself busy and to take it one day at a time. Somebody's mantra is working for me as well, inasmuch as anything is going to work.

I just read back and see there's a few people worried about things.

Keys - thinking of you and remember the odds of having problems with a blood clot twice are incredibly low.

Jessie - step away from the tests if you can, also don't forget some women have very few or no symptoms or don't get them right away.

Mimi would you be able to afford a private scan? It might at least help set your mind at rest. It can also sometimes be worth asking your GP surgery to ring round EPUs to see if there's a slot anywhere. A sympathetic administrator may know the right number to call or string to pull where the general public doesn't.

Here I'm ticking over with nothing to report on the pg side except obsessive knicker checking and odd symptoms I didn't have last time - itching, sneezing and tingles in the palms of my hands

Hand-holds all round for all of us on the Fretting Bench.

Somebody Thank you, I will try and just focus on that for now. It may help once we've told our families but are waiting to see how things go just in case there are any issues. I am naturally an optimistic person but feel like I cannot trust myself to get this right after we mc before.
I will enjoy this pregnancy!

Mimi I had quite a few instances of brown discharge last time prior to initial scan at 6 weeks and all was fine - I remember being told it's not necessarily normal (as in every women experiences it) but it is very common.

Bowser - It's crazy-making isn't it. Every time I go for a wee I check after wiping, then shake my head at my own madness. And I feel like I'm not emotionally connected to this baby yet because the fretting has taken over everything. But I must be emotionally invested if I'm fretting - it's not that I don't care. It's more that I can't yet bear to start doing all that hopeful daydreaming about holding my own newborn, names, cots, prams, all that, because having all those daydreams ripped suddenly away last time was so brutally painful and disorienting. So instead I'm trying to take it one day at a time, not look ahead, just focus on what is right now and if possible enjoy that.

Don't know if any of that resonates with you but I think we're all going through a version of what you're experiencing. I have a private reassurance scan tomorrow and while DH is all excited to see the baby I'm just having these nightmare visions of an empty womb. All the physical symptoms would suggest his expectation is more reasonable than mine but the crazy is strong in me Anyway don't want to me-rail, just want to say you're not alone

Checking in with everyone today and here to offer some hand holding. It feels strange to almost be on the other side - 35 weeks today which is a sentence I'd never thought I'd say. I still remember the constant checking every loo visit and dread over each twinge like it was yesterday. Honestly I didn't see any other outcome apart from mc and I know I missed out on a lot of enjoyment. You're all doing so, so well. You can do it!

We didn't tell family until 14 weeks and even then I winced at their excitement. It's an odd feeling, isn't it? I felt terrible for not "bonding" with this pregnancy but in fact it was totally the opposite. All the worry and fretting means that you're already invested and you feel exactly how you should. So for everyone.

manatee good luck with your scan. Take lots of deep breaths and I am so hopeful that you get a good outcome. Even with losses in the past chances are everything is ok. Hard to believe right now but still.

Been working and now so tired! Just wanted to say Hi to the newbies, hold The hands of those fretting and wish Manatee good luck for tomorrow. Night all!!

Manatee I could have written your post, it is exactly how I'm feeling.

Good luck with your scan tomorrow!

Good luck manatee! I wishe I could say the 2nd trimester gets better but I feel even more emotionally invested and other people know now too. I have my 20 week scan on 1st Feb and am so nervous- we are having a more detailed anomaly scan as I'm epileptic and have a few underlying issues and I am just desperate to know whether all is ok. I have not been feeling any movement this week which is also driving me crazy, although I know that's normal and even my lovely midwife told me not to worry

Horrendous anc appointment today.

Firstly, positive, repeat cardiac anomaly scan was all good, so discharged from foetal medicine.
However consultant then said that if I don't agree to an elective section she ring treat me. Left in tears. She cited my multiple MCs as one of the risk factors, which a past consultant had put down to likely related to the mess left after first botched section, hence my reluctance to repeat.
Arrggggghhhhhh!
Sorry, just needed to vent xx

I'm sorry she left you feeling like that cuppa. Is it possible to ask for another consultant? Sorry I have no real help to offer but a sympathetic hand and some tissues.

Oh cuppa, that sounds rough. Might be worth getting a second opinion? Was your previous section elective or emergency? I've had both and can honestly say that my elective experience, plus recovery, was far, far better than the emergency. Just as well really, because if this pgcy makes it, I would have another elective!! Great news that all is looking well with baby

Got my EPU appt and scan this morning. At the moment, I'm not actually nervous or anxious because I genuinely can't see a positive outcome; I'm expecting bad news. Does that sound awful? I wonder if it's a self preservation thing?

manatee Best of luck for your scan.

chandelier I was exactly the same as you. The sonographer struggled to see anything so did and internal. I couldn't stop crying when he found an embryo.

It's totally normal not to let yourself hope. Best of luck today, I hope it all goes well.

Thanks for the good wishes everyone.

Hopefully will get away without resorting to dildocam today I have a large intramural fibroid (Gladys) on the back of my uterus which means it's pointless to try dildocam as you might as well try and ultrasound through six feet of concrete

The upside of Gladys is no probes up my chuff. The downside is another source of anxiety, plus I look like I'm showing already and I'm only 7wks

manatee dildocam is the best thing I've heard all week! Tell Gladys to behave.

Morning everyone, good luck to everyone having scans today. I seem to be having my first bout of pregnancy nausea, woo hoo! Not really had this in previous pregnancies so hopefully that's a good sign. DH had never been so happy about me feeling a bit queasy .

Still feeling apprehensive about my scan on Monday but DH is coming with me. Fingers crossed this bean is a sticky one.

So, I'm back from my viability scan at EPU. I am quite shocked to report that we saw one prawn/cashew nut shaped thing with tentacles and according to DH and everyone else in the room, cos I sure as hell couldn't see it a flicker of a heartbeat. Cautiously hugged DH afterwards, who is utterly convinced all will be fine and wants me to now stop worrying, and laughed when we saw my "due date"; it's the date my youngest was born! I'll have a planned c-section 2-3 weeks beforehand though, so there God willing would be 6 weeks between everyone's birthdays in our house!!

They dated me around 7weeks, which fits my calculations, and have discharged me to antenatal care! Had to have dildocam (so glad someone else uses that expression!!) due to my abnormal shaped/position uterus etc. but that was no surprise. They could see just the sac abdominally at first though, which I was really pleased about. Another few weeks of growth please!! might mean things have moved on enough to have a 12wk scan via the abdo again.