Plenty of chocolate and support all round - #5 posifrickintive thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[Treaclepie19]

for those who feel well enough to eat it :)

Congrats little, glad you and baby are well!

Congratulations little.

Feeling a little crazy at the moment. After 10 days of keeping hardly any solid food down and vomiting everytime dd wanted a cuddle, I went to see the gp for help. Have been given some medicen which is working. But now I can't stop worrying about not feeling sick, despite the fact I know it's the medicen working. Part of me almost wants to stop taking it, just can't stand the idea of feeling that sick again!

Huge congratulations little and welcome to the world Nicholas

Congratulations little! Lovely news and welcome Nicholas. Hope you're enjoying all the newborn snuggles xx

Congratulations little Hope you are both recovering well, enjoy the newborn cuddles!

Hi flen Good to see you here! And all the other newbies (sorry for not name-checking).

I had my 16-week MW appointment yesterday, and she found the heartbeat! Nice and strong, even though baby kept moving out of the way. So relieved! Might get used to the fact that this could actually happen...

dobby, sorry you've been feeling so rubbish, but as a fellow hyperemesis sufferer, I'd say take the medicine. I know it's hard to not have that reassurance but the alternative is worse and its better health wise for you and the baby if you're not throwing up. It's great that you've found medication that works. What have they given you if you don't mind me asking?

Congrats little!

Congratulations Little! Sorry you had a difficult time but great that your little boy is here safe and sound!

Congratulations little, always so good to hear a happy ending.

Hi cloud! Glad your scan went well, 16 weeks is brilliant.

Congratulations little!

I'm in a bit of a panic, I think it's happening again. I've been fairly uncomfortable in my stomach and what might have been mild cramps, increased cm, and this morning I wiped and had the tiniest streak of blood - a little thread of it in the cm. I had that last time, a few days before my mmc was discovered. I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back and crying in my car in the work car park.

Oh suz, so sorry to hear you're having this worry. I know that feeling of dread only too well. In the nicest possible way, i really hope you are wrong and that its just some innocent little bleed that will stop soon, but completely understand your worry. When were you due a scan? Hopefully they will get you in asap. Big hugs xxx

Huge congrats little! So pleased for you on the arrival of your gorgeous rainbow baby. Enjoy every second xxx

I haven't even had my booking in appointment yet, the earliest they had was this Tuesday, so no scan or anything booked. Doctor called me back and agreed to see me this afternoon, said she'd book me an early scan for next week too. I am now hyper aware of every twinge I'd passed off as bloating or stretching, and my boobs don't hurt like they did this morning.

First of all big hugs to all the newbies, especially those of you going through difficult times at the moment, worrying about spotting or scans.
For what it's worth, I had spotting pretty much constantly in this pregnancy between 6 and 9/10 weeks. I had 3 scans during that time and felt like I was just holding my breath waiting for bad news. Currently at 26 weeks with a very wriggly active baby so it can turn out ok.

I'm struggling a bit myself this week. I'm coming up to the anniversary of my mc and it seems to have snuck up on me emotionally. I find myself getting very tearful and spending a lot of time wondering how different things would have been. Also that this time last year I was pregnant, happy and blissfully unaware of the heartache or a miscarriage or the way it steals the joy and optimism from a future pregnancy.

I know I have such a lot to be happy about, this would be so much more difficult if I wasn't pregnant. But to be honest I'm struggling no to just hide away and wallow.

Would really appreciate any advice from anyone who's already made it through this horrible milestone

Hello northdownmummy, firstly, thank you for saying that about the spotting. I'm so hoping that this pregnancy will be ok despite it, so it is comforting to hear it has been for someone else.

For me, the anniversary of miscarriages (and due dates) are often worse in the approach than the actual day. However, I have definitely found it helps to mark it somehow, a little ritual or something special. It is so important to respect the life that was, however tiny, and the love we had for it.

Thinning of you suz, I know it will feel like a very long time until the scan.

northdownmummy, sorry to hear you're having a hard week. My mc was not that long ago but i'm already dreading the due date and the anniversary of the mc. I feel very sad that the joy and innocence of pregnancy has gone now too. I'm hopeful that maybe it will come back a bit later in the pregnancy (if I get past these early days). Do you have any plans to mark the anniversary? I find things a little easier if I have a plan of how I am going to deal with them. Do you have good support in RL during this difficult week. Thinking of you.

I agree with flen, North, of course it is different for everyone, but I've always found marking the dates better for me, rather than fighting against the feelings. After mc3 I made a little cairn on top of a hill and put a stone at the bottom with the due dates on it. I've visited the same place after each subsequent mc and on important dates like due dates. Yesterday was the anniversary of my first due date. I should have had a one year old by now. It's the first date i haven't felt the need to visit. Not sure if it's because I'm pg now or because i made my peace with it from making the cairn.
I've heard of other people planting plants or trees, which i think is a nice idea too. Someone else was talking about getting a piece of jewellery and another about getting a painting commissioned that represented their current family members and symbolised the ones that would have been as animals/birds, which i thought was nice.
Whatever you decide to do, i think there's a big difference between wallowing in grief and allowing yourself some time to reflect on what could have been, so don't give yourself a hard time. The lead up is always worse than the actual day x

Aw little congratulations again! Sorry to hear it the birth was difficult but hopefully you'll both recover quickly and in the meantime enjoy the cuddles x

march The first opption on the long list of things my gp found. Can't remember the medical name but the brand name is phenagone (so spelt wrong!). Apparently my parents used to give it to me when I was a baby...when they needed a good nights sleep.

Congrats little!

Suz, I had the red thread yesterday.... Had a scan this morning, measuring bang on 5+5 with sac and yolk. No red since. It's a positive scan for the gestation I am, and it feels like the first hurdle cleared, since during my ectopic and subsequent very early miscarriage my uterus was totally empty. Next hurdle is that heartbeat.... Got another scan booked for Tuesday which was my original scan for location. I'm still going to go and not tell them I've been today.

Hugs north. I, like so many ladies on here, can completely sympathise with your sorrow this week. I lost my lo at 12 weeks and although I'd had friends who'd miscarried, nothing could prepare me for that level of grief and shock. By the time it got to my edd for that baby (September), we weren't even ttc again. We were on holiday on the day and I was a shadow of myself, even though I was trying so hard for my dh and dd to be upbeat. We came back from that holiday and I planted a hellebore in our garden as a memorial. I talk to it as I water it and I don't care if I look mental, it has helped me through. On Christmas Eve, our local church hosted an all day light-a-candle-for-a-missing-loved-one thing. I'm not overtly religious - i have faith but I'm not a church goer - and I found it such a help. I walked into church, in fact, and totally broke down. The vicar was amazing; it turned out she had worked with women who'd lost babies in our local hospitals so completely understood. When I said I felt silly because I was in fact pregnant again, she was so lovely and said a prayer for this baby to be happy and healthy. She urged me never to forget the lost soul but to try and concentrate on growing this bubba and believe that we will get our rainbow baby. Gosh I'm such a rambler!!! Anyway, don't feel guilty about feeling grief for the lo who passed away, he or she will always be part of your life and you don't need to forget xxx

Boys, that's brilliant news, and I'm relieved someone knows what I'm talking about with the red thread!

Thanks everyone for your reassuring words! Saw the doctor this afternoon and she prodded me a bit and was very business like, I got the impression she didn't think it was a good sign. Am booked in for a scan on Monday morning, just got to get through the weekend.

Positive scan news boys. Fingers crossed for good progression next week.

Glad you've got a scan on Monday suz. Hope it will be able to put your mind at rest a little bit (and hopefully help with the confusing days too!)

Not heard of that one dobby, but will obv look it up now!

Thanks March, I think at the moment I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst, then anything else will be a happy surprise.