PG after MC? Posifrickitivity and handholding aplenty

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Hello again - another shiny new thread for the batsh*t crazy women going through the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is being pregnant after a miscarriage.

Fingers crossed for lots of happy scans and boring pregnancies.

Sorry chimp, very rude...hello and welcome, here's to a dull pregnancy

pgchimp welcome to the thread. Home of the perpetually worried, stressed out and panicking! Its fab here!

pgchimp welcome :) hope you have a very uneventful and dull pregnancy.

garden that's a very good point - I tend to feel all wrinkly and ready to get out of the bath after about 20mins!! Maybe if the contraction relief was really good you would be distracted enough to stay in longer? I do know a lot of people who have laboured in tub and then felt the need to get out to deliver on dry land. The two of my friends that gave birth in the water were both told my midwives that hardly any babies get born in there. I wonder if that's changed since people have seen lots of water births on obem though? This was 3/4 years ago.

Had 20 wk scan this afternoon and all good. I was irrationally scared though and kept asking 'is that ok?' about everything. Sonographer was very patient and nice. Came back feeling very relieved only to open a really unpleasant work e-mail and cry for half an hour! Just as well I wasn't in the office but this is where working from home sucks because the aggro is brought into your home grrr.

Welcome pgchimp!

Fod sorry to hear that youre having to deal with shit from work. Sounds like you've had some good advice.

Saggy sorry to hear mil didn't mention the baby but I guess if she hasn't got anything nice to say.

Whoever mentioned coats I have also had the same dilemma about whether to just get a bigger size or get a maternity one. I've just ordered the navy one from top shop but was also looking at the cheaper parka from new look.

So excited that we are going to be having some thread babies soon. Ladies on mat leave enjoy the rest whilst you can!

We went looking at prams for the first time this weekend in John Lewis. They didn't have that much choice but had a good range of the icandys. We liked the strawberry but it's still a bit pricey do going to keep looking. What has everyone else gone for?

welcome pg and congratulations! Quoting garden, here's to a dull, uneventful pregnancy.

pixie great news! Congratz! I take it you didn't find out the flavour. Sorry to hear about the nasty email - grrrrr! Not what you need after the high of a good scan. Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Thanks pentagon I don't think I'd realised how worried about it I was, I still feel a little shaky but hopefully reassurance will hit soon. We stayed team yellow! I was so tempted and did ask the sonographer if she had seen but she said she hadn't and that it was quite hard to see unless they go looking for it. I was sure I saw some boy bits but then again most of the time I didn't know what I was looking at unless she told me so it's still a surprise, even though it the 3 couples I know expecting babies before us IRL are having girls and everyone on this thread seems to be pink too I think so I'm thinking blue

Welcome pgchimp you are in good company xxx

Lies I picked up my bugaboo camelian3 this week and am in love with it. Black base and sand top. I went for it because it is lighter than some other the other travel systems, dh liked the suspension and because you can change the covers once they get a bit shabby for not too much cost - plus they seem to hold there value which is good when we come to sell it x

Oh and sorry to have missed you out fod - I hope you can get things resolved and don't let it stress you out xxx

Liesel another bugaboo chameleon fan here too, I am very excited about getting mine out again in the spring, and will be buying blue or pink new colours depending on baby! The lightness and loveliness of pushing it swung it for us, I'm little so couldn't lift a lot of the systems we tried. It also stores very well as there is no seperate carry cot, it's all cleverly part of the same bit with canvas inserts and straps to change from carry cot to seat.

Liesl - we got the uppababy vista. It doesn't seem to be as well known as some of the others, but is ridiculously popular over in America and in London where there are stockists.
Main advantages for us were - super easy to manoeuvre, easy to fold, suspension so it doesn't wake baby up, and most importantly, carry cot suitable for overnight sleeping. Therefore don't need Moses basket, or travel cot while
Baby fits into it.
You can find it in John Lewis and kiddicare. And I love it!

Okay, pram essay over. Sorry I get carried away, I'm just so excited to use it!

Welcome pgchimp! Brilliant name, tea and monkeys are two of the best things in the world

Hi pgchimp!! Welcome to the madhouse yay!! And congrats on your bfp

Another bugaboo chameleon fan here, although we bought a first generation one 2nd hand off friends for £200 which was really lucky!! It's black with red bits, good as we don't know the flavour I needed one that would fit into the boot of my mini (didn't want to have to part with it!) and was sheer luck that they were about to sell it on gumtree!!

Oh and huge congrats pixie!! I didn't realise you were having your scan today!! I'm team yellow too although convinced it's a boy!! Xx

chimp welcome and fx this will be the one!!! Xxxx
pixie I'm sorry to hear your having a crappy work related time too ;(
Great scan news!!!!
For all those that need cheering up this is a must!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Welcome chimp

Fod, sorry work are being shitty.xx

Saggy, I can 'take care' of your MIL along with your mother as a kind of BOGOF, if you like? I can turn up and tell them both to BOG OFF!! . It sounds like she'd have had nothing positive to say anyway, so maybe she's better off mute.

My manifesto for the rest of the day pregnancy:

1. No more hands up fanjo. It only makes me worry about a weak cervix (no known history of that whatsoever that I know of).
2. No more googling random miscarriage risk factors.
3. No more thanking people for their congratulations with a snarly 'well, we'll see if this one makes it that far'.
4. No more pulling rude faces in my head about other pregnant women who I fantasise are having it easy
5. No more not looking at anything to do with babies 'in case it doesn't work'.
6. Will try to be a nice 'normal' pregnant lady. . but I draw the line at the ante natal threads. Those ladies are just way too chipper

Tea I'm with you on many of thoes points (although I did join a anti natal thread in a fit of positivity!) how far are you along now?

I have a booking in appointment tomorrow and am so scared. I don't really know why. I've seen baby I know it's away from danger and were as safe as can be during pregnancy, but I'm still scared of making it official, just in case (I only have 1 miscarriage recorded on my notes, the rest they have been told about retrospectively)

Hi there,
I haven't been around much and just about have time to have a quick read to have a catch up but no time to post.

Fod- hope works gets sorted ASAP, horrible for you.
Saggy- hope your MIL has a personality transplant or just leaves you alone
Pixie - my husband doesn't do romance I occasionally get flowers after lots of whinging, can't believe he are your chocolate!!
Janie- glad your cat is home
Pentagon- enjoy leave and getting all organised
Snot and penguinta- hope the scans all go well, I totally empathise with the prescan nerves.
Bod- so jealous of your new chameleon, I got one last time and loved it, fancy a new one this time though, I think they are the best pram without comparison!!
Hi to everyone else and welcome chimp.

Well tomorrow is baby loss awareness day and I will keep you and your lost little ones in my thoughts. I think it will be a hard day and will be all over FB etc.
I'm now almost 33 weeks and due to have a c-sec in 6 weeks but I still don't think I will have a baby at the end of this. Organised, sorted or bought nothing yet, still too scared really.
Love to you all xxx

Hi all, got my 20 week scan tomorrow, feel very nervous. Feel this is a real milestone once I get past this (yeah right I keep saying that about everything..)

pixie so glad yours went well. I think we're staying team yellow too even though I tried to persuade DH.... perhaps he'll waiver in the car!

fod sorry you are having such an awful time at work, just focus on what's important - your baby - and resolve to not let them get away with this awful behaviour.

Welcome pgchimp congrats on your BFP.

HI everyone,

Hope everyone is doing OK. I am almost 11 weeks now and the nausea has passed (mainly) and I received good bloodwork results the other day. My antibody levels have not risen in the past month, so at the moment they are still present but dormant. Which is the best case scenario.

I have been hesitating about whether or not I should post this next bit or not, but I am proceeding with caution. Please do take it in the spirit that it is meant - as something that should be a comfort or consolation. I speak as a person now on my seventh pregnancy. I have two living children, so that obviously informs my outlook.

Either my unborn baby is healthy and the pregnancy will go to term - or s/he isn't, and it won't. In the absence of unforeseeable trauma (such as a car accident, slip in the shower) there is so very little I can do to protect or harm this baby. As much as I wish I could! I have read your posts with interest, fod and I feel for you - work worries can really take over your life. But if my husband had suggested that if I lost this child, it could have been due to my response to stress - I'd have chopped his knackers off. I will never know why so many of my babies died when they did, or why our daughter's kidneys didn't develop properly. But I find that I had to come to an acceptance that I am simply not always in control (and that was very hard for me, believe me.)

Until recently, I chewed over every possibility of what I could have done to save my daughter and, with the help of a great therapist, I think I have peace. I wasn't responsible for her death. I wasn't responsible for my miscarriages, despite the fact that it was a high stress time for me. Babies were born in Auschwitz, you know? I think as mothers-to-be we are already conditioned to take the weight of the world on our shoulders, to feel guilt and blame before baby is even here. So much is out of our control. To the previous poster (I'm afraid I cannot remember who) You didn't cause your miscarriage because you took a Pregnacare tablet. I hate that you sometimes wonder if you were "to blame". It's such a terrible burden to place on yourself.

We need to be gentle with ourselves, and accept that we can only do so much. Sorry if this post comes across as lecturing, I really don't mean it to. But I hate that for many of us, our first response to loss is, "What did I do wrong? Nothing.

tea love your list. Good luck with it

hi jmf sorry to hear you're still scared it doesn't really go away does it. Not long now though and it must be so nice to have a date to work to.

Thanks for all the congrats ladies yay for being team yellow janie

cbeebies hope booking appt is ok tomorrow.

guff loads of luck for tomorrow. I keep expecting a weight to have lifted but I'm still not trusting things. I felt like this immediately after 12w scan though, then it all sank in that it was ok and I had a good few positive weeks, so hopefully that will happen. I'm just on a bit of a downer right now. SPD has flared right up as well so bit scared that it has set in properly now

I could really use tonight!

anglo, x posted with you, thank you for that heart felt reminder that these things are out of our hands. I'm so glad things are progressing ok for you xx

Anglo it was me who took the pregnacare tablets, just to explain my background I'm on my 9th pregnancy with 2 live children. I also see an amazing therapist and am working through issues.
I 'know' its not my fault, I 'know' I didnt cause it, but I cant help but wonder I didn't mean to suggest that it would be fod's fault, that really wasn't what I meant and I'm sorry f it came across that way. I simply meant guilt is a strong emotion and no matter what I personally always try and blame myself, even tho I know the reason for the miscarriages I still carry some unjustified and unfair blame and guilt. in a weird way, because I know how it feels I desperately want to protect others from feeling like I do. I didnt mean to cause offence. I'm sorry.

Cbeebies I didn't see your post as offensive or as placing blame on fod, not at all. But you and I are coming from the same place, I think. It is so easy to blame yourself even in the absence of any evidence to suggest that there is even such a thing as "blame" or even cause. I just wanted to let people know that it is possible to get to that place where you can accept that "what will be will be". I really hope that this pregnancy will be different for you, and that you are going to spend the remainder of it struggling with guilt. I hope everything goes well for you.

I hope you are not going to spend the remainder of it struggling with guilt, Cbeebies.

tea - your list was spot on! Particularly the bit about antenatal threads being too chipper... I did join one but it's waay too upbeat so I prefer to lurk where I'm not a freak for having suffered a bit of misfortune in my ttc/pg journey.
But yes, it's good to try to be positive. xx