PG after MC: Posifrickitivity thread for the batsh*t crazy

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Welcome ladies, new and old. May we all have dull and boring pregnancies. Pull up a chair, crack open a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine and settle in for mutual handholding, fishslapping and neurosis.

Thanks kat at the minute it's tea toast and anything that will shift this throbbing head ache

Anglo and Saggy - sending you big hugs for your sad anniversaries, and omri for yesterday. It is hard when people in real life just dont realise but all of us on here have those anniversaries come round. My mum recently phoned on what would have been her dads birthday - I felt bad as I'd never stopped to think that both my parents have birthdays for each of their parents come round every year - I realise that is quite different from losing a child and doesnt make it less painful, but it made me realise a lot of people must have sad dates when maybe they are the only person who remembers.

Saggy - how has the amnio gone? I hope you're okay.

Katatonic - how rubbish that you have been referred such a long journey from home. Maybe you could phone the other centre or your gp and request a change because of transport. I quite liked my midwife but it does seem to be a lottery - have seen some really rubbish or cold and also some great gps over the years having moved a fair bit - why do some of them do the job?

I am off work sick - had a really dodgy stomach, my digestive system seems very sensitive since being pregnant. Also, not to moan but I have felt quite odd since my positive scan on Tuesday. Just totally exhausted and emotional, today I slept until lunchtime. I think maybe after all the weeks of worrying, spotting etc it is the relief/shock of having positive news, I feel completely drained outand demotivated.

Thanks blackberry :)
Saggy hope you're doing ok- when do you get the results?
Fod hope you're ok I can absolutely sympathise on the jerks at work front. Hate them all.
Sounds like we all need some hand holding today in one way or another. I'm now convinced my pg is over. No reason why other than all symptoms have toned down in last week. :(

Fod - you are fine to take paracetamol - it's about the only thing yo can take!
I also use a 4head stick at times -menthol thingy which helps my tension headaches alot

Fod paracetamol is ok to take as long as you use the lowest possible dose. I took two in one go over the weekend for a really bad headache and that was fine :)

Blackberry the exhaustion is normal and not surprising considering the emotional turmoil. I need about 12 hours of sleep a day at the moment and it still doesn't feel like enough! I hope it fades as I get into the second trimester!

Thanks for all the mat clothes advice. Think I'm going to take myself shopping tomorrow and just try some stuff on although still feel like I'm tempting fate and its too early DH even said he'd come meet me at the shops in his lunch break and he hates clothes shopping!! Think he is so delighted I want to do something 'normal' pregnancy- related instead of insisting we need to wait until after the 12 wk scan. Hmmm hope I'm not jumping the gun on this one!

omri aren't you into your second trimester now? The symptoms are supposed to ease up from 10weeks onwards... So I'm sure you're fine. I any wait for mine to disappear but at the same time I know as soon as they do I'll be worrying just like you are xx

Right. Im waiting for the train so here goes...
I was thoroughly scanned and baby generally looks perfect. the head measures a bit small but apparently we dont worry about this because these things arent generally measured for another 5 weeks.
The heart was vwry difficult to see, as the little one kept jumping about, but there might be an AVSD? which apparently is an internal leak and ups my risk to higher than 1 in 5! BUT, they cant be 100% sure there is a defect. I will need rescanning for a proper heart screen in a week or two.

In the end, and this makes me really , I was given a CVS. Being just on the brink of 15 weeks they couldnt quite do an amnio. The pisser is that there is NO REASON why I couldnt have come straight up to London for CVS straight after the scan! The screening midwife in Colchester was talking out of her arse.
The needle was about 1/2 a mile long and quite scary, but it didnt hurt at all which is a blessing!
The first stage of the results covering Down's, Edwards and Pataus will be back Tuesday, possibly monday and I will get a phone call. The full culture for everything, no idea what everything is takes 2 or 3 weeks and I'll only hear if something is amiss, otherwise I might get a letter.
I was terribly brave, and even gave blood for part of a new study. They wanted DPs blood too but he bottled it! I was NOT inpressed!
So anyway, thats the update. Im hiding behind inappropriate humour until I get home and can collapse in a weepy heap. I may or may not be back here tonight. I haven't had a chance to catch up yet so I hope all of you lovely people are all ok.
lots of love, Sags. x

fod, poor old you. I liked the look of the stats that kjh posted, that looks really hopeful that your chances of a problem are low. Thinking of you.

kat, I've only met my MW by phone as they can't fit me in til 11 weeks and I demanded asked to speak to a MW before then due to the MMC, and I wasn't overly impressed. Hope you can get yours 'taken care of' (mwah hah ah).

saggy, hoping today went okay.

kjh I eat like it's going out of fashion every pregnancy (hey, party from Western culture female eating body size guilt!), so I buy the 'right' size matty stuff, and always end up getting a bigger size later on. Poo.

total crossing fingers for you.

anglo, I'm sorry for your loss. Gone, but never forgotten here. x

Saggy you are a star (with a little star inside), you've done amazingly today. I really hope you hear on Monday. Big big hug xxx

Oh saggy you are a hero for getting through it all - you are totally allowed to go home and collapse in a heap and eat whatever you like and generally indulge in something nice. I hope you get your results soon and have some definite answers. The waiting is agony I'm sure.

saggy well done for getting through it all and being so brave. Sending you a massive hug and hoping those results come back in Monday rather than Tuesday. Keeping everything crossed for you and total right now.

fod your midwife is totally out of order sending a message like that and not explaining any further! Hope the GP puts your mind at rest tomorrow.

I had my booking appt this morning which went well - and we came up with a plan re toxoplasmosis test together, she took blood sample and is going to send it to the lab once she's discussed with her colleagues to find out if there's a way of treating toxo if I do turn out to have it. Otherwise we're not testing and will just hope for the best. It was so nice that she actually took it seriously rather than dismissing it as paranoia. After hearing about other people's experiences today I'm very appreciative of her having been so helpful! Not that it should be unusual. Also a little surprised that she's about my age, early/mid 30s - expected a matron in her 50s, don't know why! As DH said, we're not THAT young any more, doctors can be the same age as us!

Thanks ladies saggy I truly hope things are ok.... Your going through sooo much at the minute and your soooo brave you really are! That LO is going to be incredibly lucky to have a mum like you... That's a stastic I'm 100% sure of. Have they offered you any kind of counselling whilst your going through all this?

Thanks for the support girls, had a cuppa and a tablet followed by another sleep.. DS has found out its our 13 week scan tomorrow and noticed I've been weepy... He's currently making me tea and toast and has given me a hug and a pep talk... I should stop to think about what I already have in my life

saggy you are a brave positive lady! Typical you could of gone straight away for the cvs but al least the first bits done and now onto the wait. Thinking of you x

Thanks for all the reassurance on the school run thing, tomkat i like your old-fashioned idea of blowing a whistle and having them in a line i have decided that my tactic, as suggested by cbeebies is to hang back and be the last parent in there. It is still bloody scary though!!

total glad your amnio is over and done with, hope you are resting. the same goes for you saggy i have made a lovely lemon drizzle for you both

fod i am all that the MW responded by text... i am keeping everything crossed that it is 'just' an immunity thing and nothing else.

kat i am about your crappy midwife too, what an absolute bitch!! (is it one of those full moon for midwives days today!!)

I had a reassurance scan today, all is well and i am measuring 7+2 (thought i was 7+1 but wont split hairs!). The sonographer was so lovely and said that whilst it is really sad she would rather deal with couples like us as all we want to know is if there is a living baby in there. She gets so at the primadonna's who ask 5 times 'is it definitely a girl/boy? are you sure of that...' and the worst one 'that picture is rubbish - can you print me another one'... she said couples like me and DH are keeping it real and want to know the important stuff.

Can you believe that when we were in the waiting room at the EPU they had a TV going with 'Doctors' showing - i never watch it but there was a scene with a grieving mother going to see her deceased newborn... me and another PG lady were sitting there with faces. Especially given that everyone at the EPU was probably there with worries about their pregnancies!

Sorry for the lack of namechecking - i have only been away for a day and a half but am struggling to catch up! I have been over to look at the latest bunfight on the martians thread - i might bookmark these people as they do love a good kick off!

thanks guys. I wasnt really brave I was just messing!
Counselling? whats that?
Fod im sure you will be fine. as others have said its probably just that you vax has worn off. it happens, thats why whooping cough is getting more common among older people. as someone said, there is gery little rubella any more. do try not to worry.
and the poster who said ahingles and rubella are different was spot on xx

going to bed now. will catch up with everyone elses day tomorrow. xxx

fod that was a lovely post about your DS - i also catch myself giving my DS the biggest hug ever when this sort of thing hits home xx

birds i agree that the French eat that kind of gubbins all the time, yes they are incredibly lucky and we have these guidelines for a reason but we have to cut some slack every now and again. When i was 3-4weeks PG i was on holiday eating blue cheese and necking red wine like no tomorrow also if it makes you feel any better i had a freak out when my cat started licking my hand - i was straight into the kitchen with the anti bacterial wash!!

Oh my this thread soon fills up! Everything crossed for total and saggy.

Glad all was well today martha, great news. Have caved and booked an early scan for 28th, will be 8+3 so fingers crossed all will be well. GP playing hard ball and midwife can only refer us for early scan if there's a suspected problem, so booked it myself in the end. Stupid friend suggested I say I was bleeding and cramping to get in....what a frickin stupid thing to say to anyone. I think she knew she had said the wrong thing.

Try not to stress all the rubella and toxo worries. Karma is on our side ladies, I'm sure

pink I slept when he slept! We co-slept for first 6 months and don't regret that decision for a second. Bless him, DS mastered the art of BF so well in the end he'd latch himself on in the night and barely wake me! When he had finished one he'd tap the other which was my cue to turn over so he could finish feeding. Aww. Be nice if this one is as easy.

Hi Martha our sonographer at the private scan was fab too! She also had a mc (2 actually) and got very teary when we discussed our concerns... Nice to know good people still exist

tomkat you should be able to see a small baby and heartbeat, today we saw a 'prawn' and a 'little butterfly' as the hippy sonographer called it!

fod i remembered her from the last time - she told me the same story about how she knew her friend was PG as she refused a cup of tea... i remember her being lovely back then too

got to go to bed - soooooooooooooo tired!

Kjh yes I think I'm 15 wks now so I know the symptoms should ease up now anyway but my throwing up was such a good sign for me now it's gone I'm just convinced its all over. I don't want to get a private scan every time I'm worried! Can't afford it!
But now want to wait telling work until I know for sure all ok (although already can't fit into work clothes so reading the posts on mat clothes closely!). Argh!

Saggy- hope you get a good rest now tonight and over the weekend. Was thinking of you all day. Well done for getting through that horrendous day. Keep up the posifrickintivity!

I phoned the mw at the EPAU again today had a good cry and panic and she's booked me in for tomorrow morning. I'm shit scared and don't know quite what to do with myself. I think I'm around 6 weeks so there's probably no point to this anyway but the me was so lovely and just talked me down.
I have cupcakes to make, I've done 6 and really need to do another 12 part of me wants to phone my friend and let we down the other part of me thinks this is a great distraction. But they're not getting done! Sorry for being a self absorbed post, I'm not normally like this, I'm just all over the place at the moment :(

omri I hated being sick as it was 24 7 but at the sane time it was a welcome relief.. I just kept thinking "if I'm throwing up I'm still pregnant" now im not being sick I too am afraid its a bad sign...bet we've all been there
cbeebies don't be silly that's why we are all here... To pick each other up xxx hope your feeling calmer cxc