PG after MC: Posifrickitivity thread for the batsh*t crazy

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Welcome ladies, new and old. May we all have dull and boring pregnancies. Pull up a chair, crack open a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine and settle in for mutual handholding, fishslapping and neurosis.

Ah, I can post again!

saggy and anglo - lots of hugs for you both. And be kind to yourselves - moping is totally allowed.

I was just popping in to share some good news - a friend has just told me that his wife is 15 weeks. They've been trying for 5 years and following an operation, at least one MMC (after a heartbeat had been seen) and two rounds of IVF, they are now expecting twins. I actually cried for them, as this is the news I've been waiting for and I'm more happy for them than I was for me, if that makes sense!

Interestingly, he said that his coping mechanism is to try to avoid talking about it. He says if he starts talking to his DW about the pregnancy he gets so stressed, but then can't tell her that (as he's trying not to worry her) so perhaps your DH's unwillingness to get involved is a self defence mechanism. I'm not trying to excuse them, but its easy to forget that our DHs can feel the pain of our MCs as much as we do. They just cope in a totally different way because men are emotional fuckwits

I'm so, so sorry for your loss of your baby girl anglo . Even if others don't remember, you will always remember the special place your daughter will always hold in your heart. I'm sure you will find something special you can do today to remember her by ((((hugs)))) &

saggy so very sorry you have had to reach this day with no baby to show for it. Must be a very very hard day, thinking of you

Just had a letter from the Drs requesting a appointment about my bloods... My midwife told me there was no action on them do why are they calling me in??? I texted her and now she just says rubella!!! Rubella what?!! My father in law had shingles before and I was in contact and had tests done then to check immunity... Oh Jesus! I can't stop crying! I'm so scared! What if I have it? What if I wasn't immune? What if it hurts the baby!?? I can't bloody handle all this, why did she lie to me? It's so unfair!

Oh Fod please don't panic - I suspect it is just that your immunity to rubella has run out and you need a booster jab.

Everyone should have the MMR jab when they are younger and a booster at the age of 12/13 which lasts into adulthood. They test your bloods to see if you have any antibodies from the booster jab and if you are still immune.

My blood test showed I was still immune from my last booster jab but the immunity does wear off in adulthood.

Rubella infections are very, very rare. You'd know if you had Rubella, the symptoms are pretty obvious, they include swollen glands and a skin rash. You'd have been straight to the doctor if you had anything like that in the past three/four months.

I suspect they just want to give you a booster jab asap to make sure you are immune for the rest of your pregnancy xxx

I've just been googling and they won't give it you whilst your pregnant... It causes still birth, mc, prem birth and birth defects.. I feel as though my hearts been ripped out of my chest ;( why wasn't this picked up in my last pregnancy?

They can't get me in until 2pm tomorrow... After my scan ;( They won't give you a jab whilst your pregnant because it will harm the baby so nor on top of everything else I need to live in a box for the next 6 months and that's assuming everything's ok

Fod I am sure you don't need to worry about this. Cases of rubella in this country are exceedingly rare due to a comprehensive immunisation programme and the chances of you coming into contact with anyone who has it are miniscule. There were only 6 cases of rubella in the entire country in 2011. In the first quarter of 2013 there were only 2 confirmed cases in the UK. You'd have to be in close contact with an infected person to catch it. I honestly believe you have nothing to worry about and am sure your GP will be able to reassure you xx

I really really hope so ;( Ive just been searching and it's terrifying, babies born blind and Brain damaged... Wish I'd have known! Surely they should send some bloody reminder letter out about these things?? I'd give anything for a day off from all this

Fod, in every pregnancy your immunisation to rubella is checked. It can wear off. The blood tests you had will all have been fine so your midwife was right and last pregnancy you were protected.

It will literally either to take more blood off you to double check or to give you an injection/meds (I'm not sure which they do during pregnancy)

It was a bit off of your midwife to just text rubella like that, but I can assure you it won't be because you have it, it will be because you aren't protected. It's horrible isn't it? This putting your trust in their hands. I hope you are able to relax before tomorrow.

I'm getting so paranoid, I've jut looked at the calendar and think I'm already 8 weeks pregnant. I want to ring the EPAU and see I I can be seen earlier rather than 2 October. I just want to know its all ok. I feel a mess. I'm a blogger and haven't managed to blog much for fear of blurting it all out. I keep bursting in to tears and shouting at the girls just because they want a cuddle (which involves using my stomach as a trampoline) does anyone have a grip I can borrow I really need to get one :(

fod please don't panic! When I was pregnant with DD my bloods showed I wasn't immune to rubella. As far as I know it's mainly a concern if you contract it in your first trimester or so. No one made a big deal out of it, it didn't worry me much - and I worry about everything, trust me - if you had had it, you would have known; and as kjh says cases of rubella are extremely rare. I got the jab after giving birth to DD, a few minutes before being discharged from hospital.

You'll be OK, please don't worry.

fod don't panic and best to stop googling! (I know I know - i can't talk - all panic and dr google yesterday). Yes i'm sure the internet will say the consequences can be bad if it happens but that's a massive IF and the chances are as kat says so very very low that it's about as likely I imagine as my catching toxoplasmosis - probably less likely in fact. And I guess the fact that they don't send reminder letters is a sign that they don't think it's a big issue - they're hot enough on other stuff. Quite odd that there's been a delay in picking up on it but really do try not to panic and I'm sure the gp will help put your mind at rest. Big hug though, it's all so scary isn't it and it feels completely beyond our control which is the worst thing.

kat sorry you had a shitty midwife appt. She really does sound a bit crap and as for asking those kind of questions over the phone - really not appropriate or remotely supportive. Are you stuck with just her or is she in a group with other midwives who will also be in charge of your care? The way it works at my local midwifery practice is that there are 3 of them, one that you're assigned to but you see the others as well. Is there a maternity co-ordinate or someone there you could talk to and explain you felt she wasn't very supportive and is there any chance of seeing someone else next time? Difficult though - you don't want to make the situation worse! And yes I got quite a lot of paperwork - official maternity record which we'll put all the notes in from scans/midwife meetings, maternity exemption form for prescriptions, as well as lots of info about local pregnancy yoga, parenting classes at Kings hospital, breast feeding workshop (!!!) etc. and the inevitable bounty pack. It's strange that she didn't give you anything. When's your next appt?

Kat your midwife doesn't sound very on the ball, is it likely you'll be seeing someone different next time around? My booking appointment is next week and I have no idea what to expect really but have been told I'll be given paperwork to bring home so it does seem strange you didn't get anything. And her calling you up to ask additional questions about your mental health is just unprofessional!

Can I ask a question about maternity clothes? Despite managing to lose weight over the past few weeks none of my clothes feel at all comfortable on me and I need to get some warmer stuff for winter I figured it may as well be maternity. I thought I might go and get some maternity jeans/leggings. Did people find they had to go a size up when shopping for clothes? I guess it depends how fat I get but I am not anticipating staying my current size with an added bump! If anyone found a particular shop useful that would also be great. Any advice would be much appreciated!

fod please try not to worry to much. I know a lot easier said than done. There is always something to worry about isn't there. I hope tomorrow's appointment brings some answers and reassurance for you. Everyone here are always ready to listen

kat I'm sorry about your appointment. I think some of the midwives seem very distant and hardened to it all. I know they deal with it all the time but we don't. I cried my eyes out and when asking about the possibility of a early scan it was just a point blank no. just wrote on my notes very emotional, suffering from anxiety and previous depression...

santa lovely news about your friend

anglo I hope you are feeling ok. It's such a tough day x

saggy hope your ok. I've been thinking of you. When is your appointment? I hope your results come back quickly x. How awful you have this to deal with on today of all days. My original EDD was the 3rd which is the same day they rang to tell me I was high risk.. Hope to hear from you when you're ready xxxx

I had my 16 week appointment today. She said my blood tests, urine and blood pressure were all ok. We heard the heartbeat which was reassuring but uncomfortable after yesterday. But still unable to allow myself to be excited or happy until we have the results

Thank you all for your support x

Thanks ladies, think I've cried so much I've given myself a headache! Had a email from work requesting I attend a meeting regarding the shit head I work alongside... As its on a day I don't work I've refused and requested that the minute is recorded and that I have a witness present... I just want to bloody run off now

oh fod I can't believe you have to deal with this work crap on top of it all! I hope you have calmed down a bit. Honestly, please don't worry about the rubella thing! As mentioned above, I wasn't immune during my last pregnancy and it was fine - all the midwife said was "you'll have the jab after you give birth" which is what happened. Good luck with your scan tomorrow!

kat so sorry you have a crap midwife...she doesn't sound nice at all, no wonder you want to change. I hope you can make it happen!

santa wonderful news re your friend. Stories like this always make me well up...

total glad you had a good 16-week appointment. Hopefully, you'll have great news tomorrow and then be able to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

kjh5 I'm a size 10 normally. I put on a bit of weight with both my pregnancies but everyone says I look the same with a bump (I think I'm bigger all around, maybe people are trying to be nice) Most of my maternity clothes are size 10 but can range from 8 to 12, it depends on the brand.

Kjh - pretty much same as pentagon.
H and m is good - although the jeans come up small! I can still fit in my 'normal' size 10 jeans (although they don't do up!) but in their maternity jeans I am a 14. Had a mini panic about that one!
I have got through on buying a few maternity tops (almost all h and m) and a couple pairs of jeans and leggings.
I got some maternity jeans at 14 weeks from mamas and papas - they still fit now.
The rest is just long line vest tops in one size up from normal (or some cases same size) which will apparently be good for breast feeding too.

kjh - I stay in roughly the same size for maternity clothes (12), but (and its a big but) it really depends on the brand and on you... (not helpful!). I bought a pair of designer jeans in my last pg from a swanky pregnancy boutique (pre-DC and pre-Mortgage, I had money!!!) and the assistant forced me to go up a size on the basis that she put on 5 stone when she was pg (she was a skinny size 8). Result: never worn them! Just go for things that are on the comfy side of fitting now, I reckon, and hope for the best.

fod - you poor thing, you sound like you're really going through the mill a bit at the moment. YY to everything everyone else has said about rubella. Just take it easy on yourself at the moment as you have to remember that your hormones are all over the place, making it much harder to cope with stress anyway. Its OK to cry (sometimes I think we need to remind ourselves that we are allowed to cry, because holding it in can take so much effort!)

total keeping my fingers crossed for you - and my toes too.

kat definitely ask to change MW centres. A 40 minute walk??? Unacceptable - they can get someone with their own transport to use that one.

Thanks ladies, I just keep thinkin "surely" we are due some good karma? It's one thing on top of another on top of another, I'm glad I've registered my pregnancy with HR though as at least if the baby is still there tomorrow I'm somewhat protected at work (which is what I need I think). DH has been looking into too and he's devastated he says "if you have it or if you catch it the baby has no chance of a happy life" he wants me to stay off work just in case... Bless him.

I hate this not knowing crap! The fact that they have all you information at their fingertips and won't tell you anything about your or your babys' health it's so wrong! I feel do angry, upset and very bitter... I must have been a horrible bitch in a previous life! My mw has still not elaborated on my bloods, think I will put a complaint in tomorrow she did the same thing when I bled on my wedding day... She just ignores me! Last time we met her she gave me her number to let her know the results of my EPAU scan.. DH said "is your phone working now then?!"

Can I take paracetomal?