PG after MC: Posifrickitivity thread for the batsh*t crazy

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Welcome ladies, new and old. May we all have dull and boring pregnancies. Pull up a chair, crack open a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine and settle in for mutual handholding, fishslapping and neurosis.

I really hope the next few days don't drag too much Total

Saggy, thinking of you! Fingers, legs and toes firmly crossed xxx

Can I just say I think men are just bloody irritating in the 3rd trimester. Can't decide whether it's them or our hormones but I like to think it can't possibly be moi! If I hear mine bang on one more time about how tired he is from work blah blah blah. My tolerance levels are seriously being tested. (Not assisted by DD taking great pleasure in sitting on the potty for 3 seconds, standing up and stating she doesn't need to go, pulling up her pants defiantly...and then promptly poohing in them!)

thanks kjh, glad your dh is doing the good grovelling, nice that he wants to document it all (although i would totally be the same until after 12 weeks...having said that..there have been zero pics taken of my bump other than one i sent to my pg friend). the most annoying thing is my dh doesn't seem to even realise...he's just getting on as if nothing happened and i'm a mental case grrr. think i might go to bed. night girls xx

oh garden you poor thing. maybe it is the hormones afterall.... but seriously, men should be able to read our minds and do exactly what we want. if he maybe read one page of the 'pregnancy for men' book he bought then it might help. maybe he'll read it when i'm in f-ing labour and realise what he should have done over the last 9 months.

Janie - are you going to any antenatal classes?
My DH has been the same (sounds v similar!) eg - 'you paint the nursery if you want it painted' (really? At 6 months pg?!) and dispite me buying him a 'man baby book' - it refers to babies as baby troopers for goodness sake! He still refuses to read it, saying he would rather 'deal with things as they happen!'
However. We have had a complete about turn since nct. I think it is something to do with someone other than me telling him what he needs to do. He finds it easier to take direction that way. Have you booked on to any classes? (getting him to go may take bribery - it did with mine!) but he enjoyed it when he was there.
Or, if not, is there someone else in the family (perhaps male?!) who can have an 'encouraging' word?

Total I am crossing everything for you for Friday not monday. Take it easy and try not to worry too much. xx

Omg they are the same person! Yup...I was researching Moses baskets online and I said I was baffled, too many different ones to choose from. 'Why don't you just go to a shop and get one, they can't be that different' was the answer in Saturday. Hmm ok, sure I'll just pick all the stuff for our baby and pay for it myself then shall I?! Hmm yup we're booked in for 2 nhs classes next month. Hoping that might kick his ass into gear!

Janie, my DP was always like this. about everything Even now with all of this shit going on he is still not focused. He comes up trumps when the babies arrive though. I think for some men, although it is really not an excuse, they just cant concentrate on something that they cant see!

Today is the first anniversary of our daughter's death. She died in utero at 17 weeks due to multi cystic kidneys. One year one and it seems like yesterday. Even this pregnancy isn't helping. I'm sorry to put a downer on the thread - this may not be the appropriate place - but I need for her life and death to be acknowledged. When we lose our babies it feels as if the world forgets and we are just expected to move on. None if my friends and family have remembered.

Anglo I'm sorry for your loss Can you and DH do something to celebrate her time spent with you - a meal out, light a candle, set a balloon free somewhere special to you? I think it needs acknowledging somehow although it needs to be personal to you.

anglo all I can really say is that I'm sure that there will be a lot of ladies on this post who will be thinkin of you today... We are all part of that tragic club that time and people forget. We have clothes that we bought for our last pregnancy and if alls well with this one my DH thinks its ok to dress him/her in them... Whereas I find it weird as they were bought for the one I lost... This is what we are up against Unfortanetly

Went off track a bit there... What I meant to say was that people expect your current pregnancy to replace the one you lost, when it actually brings more uncertainty and worry and it will never ever replace our sense of loss

Anglo, I'm so sorry go your loss. Definitely take some time out for you today, do something special to celebrate your daughters life, it may have been short and it may have been all inutero but she had a beating heart and she was alive.
Will be another thinking of you today.

Fod it's funny how people are different isn't it. With the clothing that I bought I wanted my girls to wear it, it kind of made it all more real. If he ha worn it I would have passed it on, so I wanted to pass it down. (If that makes sense) but the most important thin is to be true to yourself. If you can't bear the thought of baby wearing them, don't feel bad about packing them away and saying they're not for this child.

Oh Anglo I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard isn't it? It was my little girls due date yesterday. I didn't think it would upset me too much especially as I'm pg again but it was the hardest day emotionally. Everyone who knows about my pg forgot and I had to run to the loo in work about 4 times for a big cry! It didn't help that my friend in works wife had a baby girl yesterday - I think that's what really set me off.

try to do something nice for yourself. I went in to a church and lit a candle and just sat there for 20 mins - it felt lovely to just take some peaceful time to think about and acknowledge my baby (then I went and treated myself to a lovely lunch). Whatever helps you through the day. Take care.

Im right here with you Anglo. Today is my original due date. I should be cradling a new baby. Instead im going on an expensive day out to take a test I never thought I'd need, to see if my baby is ok. Im right there with you on the total shitness of today. I hope that you can do something special today to mark the occasion. {{{hug}}}

Oh saggy that's awful that its on same day. Thinking of you and hope it goes by as well and as quickly as possible.
Remember you've got a whole thread of lovely ladies willing the very best for you

anglo I will be thinking of you, your DH and daughter today. I hope you and your DH can find a way to mark the anniversary together.

Thank you for all the reassurance, ladies, on my latest freak out. Somehow writing it all down last night and then talking to DH about it yesterday evening put it in perspective - also the nhs website which as well as giving a whole load of terrifying information does also say that a 2008 study showed 3 in 100,000 babies are born with congenital toxoplasmosis so the risk really is minuscule. Going to get the midwife to do the test if there's any treatment they could give for it, otherwise not going to bother. Sanity seems to have returned (briefly). And whoever said that there must be so many women eating the wrong things before they find out they're pg, that's v true and v reassuring too.

fod fingers crossed for your 13 week scan on Friday! Sending lots of positive vibes your way x

Sounds like there are lots of partners not knowing quite what they're doing out there...grrrr men can be bloody useless sometimes. On my phone so I can't go back and check who it was but I loved the line, 'did you think that was fair?' Sometimes they just refuse to think about how what they're doing (or not doing) affects you too which is totally infuriating, but as saggy says all will have to change when a new small one arrives mwah ha ha...

saggy I wasn't sure whether it was today or not. And how sad that it's the same as your last baby's due date. I really really hope you get good news. How long will you have to wait for results? Will be thinking of you and you know everyone here is holding your hand (if we can all fit) x

And omri hope you're doing ok after a sad day yesterday x

anglo I'm so sorry. I'm so sad no one has remembered your little one's due date hope you do something special to mark today xxx

saggy thinking of you I hope it goes ok. for your due date.
birds glad you're feeling calmer. I keep having entirely irrational panics in the night, losing several hours sleep and then waking up the next morning and realising I'm being totally irrational. I think its completely normal

Totally agree with whoever said men (mostly) really do step up when baby arrives. My DH and I argued endlessly over the nursery (which he finally did 3wks before due date ) and a lot of other things. Once DD arrived he took to it a lot better than I did! I think a lot boiled down to my need to have everything in place and ready for baby whereas he was more of the 'we will sort things when we need to'. This time we are mainly arguing about names so far rather than any big stuff but I suppose big stuff is mostly sorted anyway as we will have most baby equipment etc and although DD was in her nursery at 3mths (she was a v noisy sleeper!) I haven't even considered where this one is going to go yet as its going to involve swapping of bedrooms etc as our bedrooms are over 2 floors.

Birds I wa going to say in France they have completely different rules regarding toxo. They can eat meat rare, they can eat as much cheese as they like but when it come to fruit and veg they can only eat it if it has been pealed. So no cabbage, cauliflower, sweetcorn, carrots, apples, grapes, cucumber, tomatoes etc.
different countries focus on different things depending on history so a lady may have caught toxo in this country from a rare stake but in France from fruit and veg. Just be sensible with what you eat an dont stress too muh.

cbeebies that's really interesting, thanks. I'm off downstairs to see if I can persuade DH to peel all grapes for me from now on

Have just thought of an extension to all the dr googling I've been doing so far: i could try and find the equivalent of dr google in France, Germany, and see what they say on different subjects...that way true madness really lies

Thank you for your kind words birds ohhhhh saggy I'll be thinking of you today.. How awful it should be on the same day, treat yourself to at least a expensive lunch xxx

Progesterone + my face = my teen years ;( look and feel awful! I'm writing if off as an excellent symptom though

anglo I'm so sorry for your sad anniversary today I hope you mark the day by doing what feels right for you and your family. Thinking of you...

total good to hear it went well yesterday - good luck with your results, I hope you get some good news tomorrow and don't have to wait till Monday

saggy all the best for today! Can't believe it coincides with your EDD anniversary...sod's low, isn't it? Maybe you can do something nice after your appointment.

Thank you all for the wedding anniversary wishes. We had a quiet, romantic dinner at home after DD went to bed.

rock yay for listening to the heartbeat at your 16-week appointment. I'm seeing the midwife tomorrow - 34 weeks...

Anglo sending you lots of love on such a difficult day xx

Saggy that is so rubbish today has to be the day but at least the test will be over and done with soon. Hope it all goes smoothly. Will be here for virtual hand-holding and fudge-making if needed xxx

does this work?